Son (18) Distraught Over Results

[annelovesthebeach1975]

Hello everyone! I have been a longtime lurker of mumsnet for years now but today I have felt the need to finally make an account and post here, as my house has been plunged into chaos by the dreaded A Level results day. As the title says, my son has been absolutely distraught all day over the fact that his a level results were not what he wanted, and he got rejected by his dream uni, Newcastle University, and also his insurance choice, Birmingham. Although he only wanted to go to Newcastle so he doesn't really care about that. He received BCD although his predicted was AAB so obviously everyone was quite disappointed, but my son has taken it absolutely horrifically and it is breaking my heart. For some backstory, from when my son started lower sixth, his teachers helped students start looking for unis and courses during free periods at least once a week. From when my son began researching unis, he's only ever wanted to go to Newcastle University. When we went to the open day last year after he got his conditional offer he was hooked even further. He even knew what accomodation he wanted. He's a smart boy so I wasnt too worried about him getting in. However, after some of his exams he seemed quite unsure of himself, saying he didn't feel like he did a good job. I assumed this was just him overthinking it but now I believe the fact he didn't actually sit his GCSEs because of covid has had a negative effect on him since these were his first 'real exams.' He has been on the phone to clearing all day basically pleading for a biomed place at Newcastle and he has emailed them directly as well, although biomed and many other science courses are not clearing and his grades are much lower than the entry requirements so it has made things very difficult. I am putting on a brave face for him but on the inside I am heartbroken. This summer all he has talked about is what he's going to do when he goes to Newcastle, how excited he is, and how he's so excited for freshers week in newcastle. His eyes are red raw from crying in his room between contacting Newcastle over and over. He is not usually an emotional lad so this is very upsetting for me. I have contacted his sixth form for advice and they basically told me there is basically no chance he will find a biomed place at Newcastle with his grades, which were a shock to his teachers as they all thought he would breeze through his exams. It is looking like he will have to resit his a levels which while it is not the end of the world, it feels like it for my son when all his mates got into their unis, some Newcastle, and will be starting there next month. I am just looking for any advice on how to comfort him because I want him to know that I am there for him, and if there's any way I can get him a place at Newcastle on a science course that is biomed or similar.

This would only work if you have the funds for it, but there's an access to HE course at Newcastle college in biomedical science. Could you afford for him to move up here for an additional year, so he moves up with his friends, and he studied there for a year as a stepping stone into Newcastle uni? He'd probably have to work alongside to make it feasible, but the rent up here isn't bad.

www.ncl-coll.ac.uk/courses/775000804070826/science-biochemical-access-to-higher-education

Not sure if the system is the same in England, but I went to uni in Scotland to do one life science course, and decided after a year to switch to a different one (think Biomed to Plant Sciences), as the first year is the same for all life sciences courses. Maybe he could join a different life science at Newcastle and change to biomed after a year?

I haven't read all the replies so I apologise if this has already been mentioned. My son didn't get his first choice at Newcastle today but has managed to get a place on a different course with a foundation year (as he doesn't have a the required maths a level) I think it's actually a better course for him so we are all delighted.
On.a side note, we looked around Northumbria biomed and I was really impressed with the facilities. They have a foundation year for that but I don't know if it's in clearing. I hope he gets himself sorted and I'm sure it will all work out for the best in the end.

Spending the day in bed crying won’t get his situation sorted out. He needs to go into school and get some advice and help. Going to uni with mates isn’t always a good thing. The whole point is to meet new people. Unfortunately things don’t always turn out the way we want them to. You can help him by staying calm and cool headed. Encourage him to at least talk to clearing. A friend of DS went to Anglia because it was near all his mates in Cambridge and was perfectly happy. My DD was rejected because she dropped a grade but was picked up by one of her other options, took a gap year and all was well.

God, I was OP's son 18 years ago. Expected to do very well. But I tanked my A-levels and all my dreams and ambitions fell apart.

I did exactly the same as you and rushed into clearing. As it was I did very poorly in a degree I just didn't have my heart in, and it's set me back years.

I wish I'd initially taken a step back, and thought very hard about what I really wanted. But as I was the first in the family to go to university, I felt pressured to do something, anything, to get me onto my initial plan of doing medicine.

Which obviously didn't happen. But then it would never have happened anyway. And since no-one had gone to uni, no-one could give me any advice about what to do next. So it was just me, a heartbroken, naive, immature, barely an adult (I'd turned 18 only a few weeks prior) making decisions about her future with zero guidance.

The only good thing about my A-levels and degree is that I met my now DH as a result. But I have zero career and not many more prospects. A far cry from what 18 year old me thought 36 year old me would be like.

So yeah OP. Make sure he takes his time rather than making impulsive decisions that will affect his entire future.

Has he considered a foundation course?
I'm so sorry, it's horrible for him. I had similar with Dd years ago, she when to Cardiff met through clearing and it was amazing for her!

This could be a good suggestion.

It is easier to change courses once you are at uni than it is to get on to a particular course. I was a lecturer and clinical director at Newcastle and we had this happen a couple of times. (Mind- i've been retired 8 years)

Please remember that re-marking can take marks down as well as up.

sorry to hear this, we had a levels in our house today. As others have said, he would be better doing a foundation course first and applying to Newcastle next year if that is the only place he wants to go. Newcastle uni website is now saying that there are no course available in clearing now. Feel gutted for you.

*Sometimes easier, I should have said

My DS has had similar disappointment although he does have his insurance. He missed his first choice by one grade. He was upset at first but ok with things now and upbeat this evening.
I'm sorry things haven't worked out for your son op, there are a lot of disappointed young people around today. I hope he works something out.

Op, just want to say that you are doing a marvellous job
Your ds is understandably distraught and will need time to come to terms with his disappointment.
In the meantime you can support him by looking at clearing options at other universities and looking at courses with foundation year. One or two years is nothing in the grand scheme of things and many students take a gap year anyway
He can retake two of the A levels and re apply next year. He could apply for a degree apprenticeship in bioscience at places such as Glaxo Smith Kline ( to start next year). They take people with lower grades because they are more focused on student potential rather than grades.
Apprentices are paid and given time to study.
A few years ago one of my goddaughters missed out on her place to study pharmacy .. She was devastated and it took a few days for her to come to terms with the fact.
She retook two of her A levels and got a part time job in a chemist as a cashier.
in 2018 she graduated with a first and is now living and working in Canada and doing extremely well. She often tells people that she is actually glad that she ‘failed’ her A levels because it made her more resilient.
Your ds will probably be upset for a few weeks , particularly when he sees his friends getting ready for university. This is normal and he will get over it.
Continue to love , support and encourage him. Try not to get upset if it appears that he is not making the effort to move on. This is a shock to him .
Many of the successful people I know had to retake exams .
A year goes so quickly. This time next year he will be fine.

He needs to resit the year. If they won't let him in on the course he wants to do and he doesn't want to go anywhere else he needs to suck it up. One of my good friends was trying to get onto a medicine course and funked up her exams, she was very clever, unfortunately I saw her out on results night and said "hey how did it go, smashed it?" And she replied no "I'm repeating the year", she's now a consultant, she got there in the end. Flip side one of my uni pals should have gone to Oxford to do physics (I think) she ended up at a top redbrick instead doing psychology and is now head of a nhs dept and works in private practice (she works in London and is minted - totally not her motivation but she's done amazing).

What I'm trying to say is whatever path he goes down him flunking is absolutely not the end of the world. Repeating isn't even 1 year, it's 9 months really and it makes no difference in the long run.

I really feel for the A level students especially, as at least with the GCSE students (DD1 is one) at least they mostly have time to sort out the subjects they want to do at uni.

It's unfair that he was predicted such high marks, so maybe this is what he needs to focus on? In other words, his teachers who knew him best predicted his marks based on a range of factors, but maybe taking exams is one of his weak points or maybe just needs lots of practice?

Hope you find a way that helps.

I still don't understand why we put our children through this every year. It's unnecessarily hard on them. Why do we not start Uni terms in January, and apply for them after we have our results?

I also didn't get the grades I wanted for my course; I was predicted AAC and got much lower. Putting on a brave face and trying not to cry in front of my friends and family was one of the hardest things I'd ever done. I ended up at a different university through clearing and now have a degree and two post graduate degrees, so life has not been the disaster I thought it was going to be.

In his shoes, I'd check if Newcastle accept resits, and focus on that (with anything else that can boost his points). Hopefully his passion and determination to get there will impress them. I hope he can take some comfort from all the stories of disaster-turned-to -success on here.

I really feel for you. It's hard watching your child be so upset. Even though as adults we know it really ISN'T the be all and end all, and life works out anyway, we all know that you don't realise this until you've got a fair way through life and can look back.

What have his teachers actually said to him, if you say they were shocked? If results are very unexpected and they don't get into firm or insurance they usually arrange a re-mark. Have school mentioned that to you, especially if his results were very different from his mocks? My son got a shock when he did his mocks and thought he'd breeze through but didn't get the estimated grades he needed for his uni course. The shock made him pull his socks up and put the work in. The teachers had every faith he could do it, so I'm sure your son's teachers would have a good idea of what might have gone wrong for your son.

Re: you saying you think this is because these are his first "real" exams. I mean this kindly, but just to point out, they are also everyone else's first "real" exams too, yet most students have managed to get their first choice, or at least insurance. Ofqual made provisions for all this. So if you feel his results are genuinely because he's felt the pressure too much at A-level, would he really have been in the right frame of mind to go to a new city (however much he professed to wanting to go there) and go through the stress of making new friends, adjusting to living away from home, maybe finding his course not quite what he expected or more difficult? Maybe if he's feeling it mental health wise, he just needs to take the pressure off himself for a bit over the next few weeks, have a year out and either reapply for nexst year with those grades somewhere else (it's dangerous to fixate on one particular uni and no doubt he's realising this now), or try to re-take if he genuinely thinks he can improve on them (and school does not agree to a re-mark). Re-takes are not without issues. Staying back a year while your mates come home during holidays with their tales of fun can be hard, and there's no guarantee you'll do any better next year (especially 2023 when grade boundaries will be higher than this year).

Encourage him to have a big pause over the next few days and gather his thoughts. Does he want to try to resit if a re-mark isn't possible but his teachers think he could improve? Does he want to reapply elsewhere with his current grades next year, and get his confidence up by getting a job? He would have an advantage over his peers who go to uni straight from sschool if he has a whole year's work experience under his belt. Worst thing he could do is be in a panic and jump at any old course in clearing now just because he thinks he has to accept a place somewhere NOW. He is young and this is just a blip in a long life. There are many many happy adults whose lives have veered off the paths they planned. Including mine. I constantly remind my sons that they wouldn't actually exist if my life had panned out as planned at aged 18. Gives them pause for thought.

Very best of luck. This is no biggie. It really isn't. But he doesn't realise this yet and will need help getting to the same conclusion.

Have you asked whether his Grades were anywhere near the grade boundaries for the next grade up? If they were possibly it is worth asking for a remark?

Sorry OP, I've only read your posts.

I'm a lecturer in a different university in a different discipline and we've had record fails this year, in first and second year in particular, for largely the same reason. If resitting is an option I think he should seriously consider it, take the year to get up to scratch and then do as well as he can at uni. He's clearly very capable, it would be a shame to see him continue to underperform.

Biomedical Science at Northumbria University? They do a year in industry too, or a year abroad. Then he might be able to transfer to Newcastle Uni after the first year if he does well. Worth looking into.

Exam boards do NOT re-mark. You can request a review of marking, but that is not a re-mark at all. A senior examiner goes through the paper and decides whether marks for each question are reasonable. If they are, there is no change. And as a poster mentioned, marks can go down as well as up.

Eh? Have you taken A-Levels?

I know it’s not what he hoped for but that’s a good set of grades especially the B/C - lots of options out there hope he feels better tomorrow x

Poor kid. Did they do no mock exams?
We are a week out from getting dd1's GCSE results and they made them do four lots of mocks over the final year. The first set really gave her a kick up the arse on a couple of her best subjects when she scored poorly. This meant for the others she knew she had to revise harder.
I hope you can figure something out for him op. X

I don’t want to push him into going to a different uni when he can wait a year and follow his original dream

I don't know if you're still reading OP but this makes me nervous - there is no guarantee that he'd get in next year. Please try and make him aware that there are unis that would be delighted to have him now. He seems to have put Newcastle on rather a high pedestal, and whilst it's a perfectly decent university, there are plenty of others that he would undoubtedly love once he was there and making friends. Newcastle honestly isn't that different from most other city unis.

Newcastle entry is tough. AAB which must be biology and chemistry plus another in maths or a science.

Northumbria is 120 UCAS points with a B in biology and potentially you could do a BTEC in Applied Science, that’s how DD managed to get into Diagnostic Radiography at Leeds as it was a doddle and she got a distinction *

if you don’t think he can realistically get an AA in his resits he may have to change his university or his course. My heart breaks for him, but DD had two friends at Leeds who did biomedical science and they were seriously brainy kids.

No shame in going to Northumbria, DS’s friend went there with average ALevels did computing and works for Microsoft.