Oxford / Cambridge - current students support / chat thread 2022

[DadDadDad]

Continuing a thread for anyone who wants to talk about their sons' and daughters' experience being a student in Oxford or Cambridge. (Or nephews, granddaughters, sisters, uncles - or if you or they have now graduated but you want to share your thoughts - all are welcome!)

Some of us on this thread go back to I think to late 2019 when our DCs were going through the admission process. A lot's happened since!

Over to you...

Juja there seem to be a huge number of students at Oxford with these same traits and difficulties. It's much more easily disguised or missed in a less pressured environment.

Just me who's sneakily amused at the thought of them all trying to organise a peer support group?

It reminds me of my other child's 'Asperger's Social Club' where they mostly ignored each other for an evening.

@FlyingSquid - you are so right!!! I did think that as soon as I posted it - just shows my challenge parenting an ADHD DC given how differently I'm wired...😁My DC2 would sort them out with a spreadsheet but I doubt they'd open it...

I don't think DS (C) would be keen on a peer support group that actually meets up (for ADHD or ASD); it would be one more commitment in his timetable and socialising takes a lot out of him.

An online group that he could dip in and out of depending on social energy levels might go down better.

But all neurodivergent students are different.

Have sent D1 a Bird and Blend Tea Advent Calendar for Oxmas, hopefully it will arrive in time and she will be able to get through all the tea before she comes home. She's staying up for a week for an intern job and has booked her trains for 10th - just missing the rail strike - whew. It's all a bit stressful with lots of work to finish off by the end of term, but she's enjoying singing in the choir, with carols in college and at the University church to look forward to.

@JulesJules that's a lovely idea for an advent calendar.
As a former chapel chorister, the music is one of my favourite things about advent and Christmas.

Ds mostly seems to be rowing. I think he is perhaps losing track on work.. bang goes gettinga job at Christmas, he's going to need to study!

Apparently the system opens on Monday for booking an Oxford graduation date. That really does bring home that the finalists only have 2 terms left.

@goodbyestranger how quickly will the dates go? I can see myself still nagging my procrastinating DD at the end of January and only being left with dates when we're already planning to be on holiday.

I'd like to ask that same question about Oxford graduation dates? Is there a mad rush for the most favoured dates?

Also, is there any chance that Oxford will clash with Cambridge graduation date? DS1 (C) and DS2 (O) want to be at each other's graduation and of course I also want to be at each one too.

Thanks for the useful tip re graduation dates!

We’re having a mad Oxford-fest this weekend. Going to three concerts in the course of 24 hours! We are busy tomorrow evening otherwise it would be four 🤯

H20 the system changed a few years ago and now it seems to be the case that the vast majority of finalists at a given college graduate en masse although it’s possible to opt for a later date. I’m sure most would want to go for that main date so fingers crossed it doesn’t clash with your plans!

D1 has been told that booking for graduation dates opens half way through Hilary, with a choice of about 4 dates at her college. I'm hoping she checks her emails and gets the July date, (with garden party in college afterwards) we would struggle to make the September or November dates.

My experience of graduation was more like @goodbyestranger describes rather than @HewasH20 but it was C rather than O.

DD knew the date her college was allocated around 6 months in advance. I certainly booked it off school a term before. Cambridge does graduations by college. It's rather lovely as each college processes to the Senate House for the actual ceremony. We drove over the night before then met an old friend for elevenses and saw a couple of processions, so we knew what to expect.

DD's college was the last one of the day. We met at her college where they were all being gowned and having their official photos taken. As well as some of DD, they did some with us, which was nice (if pricey but hey, it's Cambridge!) Because of Covid (July 2021), her college had taken over the West Road concert hall and there was a live streaming there. It was fab to sit in air conditioned comfort, socially distanced from other proud parents and have a great view. Then we went back to her college and had a picnic and champagne before going out for tapas with DD, her BF and his parents. Maybe I'll get the full experience if/when she gets her PhD but I thought it was a great compromise. We were also able to send details of the live stream around to relatives so family in Germany and my dad in the NW were able to watch.

Just checked the C website. Graduations for BTh, BA, VetMB, and BA with MEng, MMath or MSci are on Wednesday 28th, Thursday 29th, Friday 30th June and Saturday 1st July 2023. The colleges go in order of some sort of perceived importance or wealth so I think Trinity, Kings, St Johns etc are on the first day. There will be a list somewhere online. I know 3 colleges which were on the same day as DD so if you want to know that, PM me. If you know which college my DD is at, hers was a Friday one.

There is a choice of dates for Oxford but these days it seems that most people go to the date nearest in time, so that one becomes the most popular and with the best provision/ biggest party laid on by the college. After ceremony drinks and food varies widely.

Malbec DS3 finished his MPhil in 2021 and things were very messy then with any formal graduation, so he still hasn't had a ceremony. I'm really looking forward to a Cambridge graduation so I hope it doesn't get lost in the noise of his London life.

DS4 and DD4 should both graduate in 2024, all being well. So far I've had two double graduations DD2 and DD3, then DD2 again and DS1. That works well for the ceremony bit in the Sheldonian but more tricky with any after party.

DD1 (Cambridge) had her BA and MPhil graduations only 3 months apart due to Covid so we only went to one, and DD2 and the GPs went to the other. The good thing is that even if they graduated in absentia due to Covid - and so they got their certificate asap - they were still offered an opportunity to be presented at the Senate House and the just changed the wording of the ceremony. It was a bit like the difference between a wedding and a blessing of a wedding that had already taken place!

I went to a college very very close to the Senate House so our procession was pathetic. The graduands at the front of the line had arrived before the back of the queue left college! I was pleased to discover this year that they now at least go round the block.

My DDs college unfortunately didn't do anything for parents in 2021 and the livestream glitched so we got to see the two girls before DDs turn and then it picked up two after that. So we'll have to wait for the 'fake MA' graduation a few years hence.

Oh dear that's bad luck/ technology for you Errol.

Well other than having dropped DS3 off in Cambridge in October 2020 and spent a lovely two days walking around, having delicious pizzas and walking to Granchester, I have no idea if he ever did an MPhil or got a certificate of any sort. He told me his marks and he often seemed to be busy when I messaged or spoke, but I do wonder if it was all a dream. I will nag a bit in the New Year in the hope of achieving a proud parent graduation (and the opportunity for more walks around, more delicious pizzas and another walk to Granchester). What an odd time it was.

I did feel bad for you when I typed up our experience @ErrolTheDragon . It's bizarre that 2 colleges on consecutive days could offer such different experiences. @goodbyestranger you're going to have to nag DS3, or temporarily adopt my DD for your C fix!

Sorry, sounding a bit thick here, are there specific dates for specific colleges at O?

Why the snark, BottleofBeer? They’re just kids, from all sorts of backgrounds, at a couple of universities that have rather odder ways of operating than most.

Well said @FlyingSquid.
I typed out a longer comment but CBA to engage with the unimaginative nonsense.

Intrigued by the graduation discussions... it seems ages away but it obviously isn't!

Can't quite believe ds will be home next weekend already.

Messages posted at 3.58am rarely make sense.

DD is home for a night. It was lovely to peek into her room and see her sleeping. Taking her out to brunch later. DS1 is off on the varsity ski trip on Friday...