Oxford / Cambridge - current students support / chat thread 2022

[DadDadDad]

Continuing a thread for anyone who wants to talk about their sons' and daughters' experience being a student in Oxford or Cambridge. (Or nephews, granddaughters, sisters, uncles - or if you or they have now graduated but you want to share your thoughts - all are welcome!)

Some of us on this thread go back to I think to late 2019 when our DCs were going through the admission process. A lot's happened since!

Over to you...

Thank you very much for the offer Malbec :)

DS needs to attend some scholar activities next week before he comes home. There's a ceremony, tea with the (new) Master and a Feast, which I'm guessing is like a formal hall.
It all sounds very Hogwarts.

DS1 was delighted to become a scholar at CorpusChristi because he said the wine at normal hall meals was less pleasant than vinegar but the bottles produced at these scholars' meals was superb, so there was excellent attendance and ample use made of the wine.

HewasH20 yes exactly that: specific dates for specific colleges. Then the most popular date seems to be the date which comes soonest after results come out, whenever the allocated date for that college is. Unless the system has changed again.

My dd graduated in the Summer. Her college were allocated two alternative dates. She and her friends got together to ensure that they all picked the same date. Afterwards there was drinks and food on the college quad. If both of the dates were unsuitable then you could slide in with another college but then your friends wouldn't be there and there would be nothing laid on afterwards.

DD1 claims to have been told nothing about graduation dates by her college but she also admits that she doesn’t open most of her emails so…

DS is another one off on the varsity ski trip. Good to see that there is snow at the resort. We had to combine the drudgery of supermarket shopping with dropping off his GHIC and passport last night at the plodge - on account of next week's postal strikes. He was out. In the meantime we will be off to C next Friday evening to collect his stuff from college. Then back the following week to collect him. Thank goodness (not for the first or last time) that he chose C over O as the former is local to us. Apart from that it has raced by and he's enjoying it. That'll do.

DS1 (C) and DS2 (O) have also said they've heard nothing about graduation dates and have checked their emails. Maybe different colleges publish their dates at different times?

Meanwhile, DS2 (O) has been involved in lots of rowing these last few weeks with some really early starts, as a college rowing captain and organising the novices too. He's also got his choir carol concert this weekend, although I don't think I'm invited and in any case, am flat out with work, trying to clear some time for when both DCs come home. DS2 says one of the best things about being a scholar - apart for the scholar's formal - is having a decent gown to wear, instead of the tiddly little one he started out with!

DS1 (C) has recently had his college 'Subject Formal' and also has his choir carol concert coming up too I think. Both he and DS2 seems well on top of work, so can hopefully have some time off across the vacation.

Neither DCs colleges do anything for parents/ families in a formal, structured way at any stage of their time as undergraduates and I'm hoping there might be something on offer at graduation but I sort of think not. The only time I ever get to see their colleges is at drop off and pick up though they have now both suggested inviting me to a formal "sometime before the end of the final year". That time isn't now far off of course and the final two terms are likely to be very busy for them.

At this stage of the final year, do most students have jobs/ career tracks lined up after graduation? Mine have done quite a lot to plan and work towards that next step but so far, there's nothing definite and so I've no idea whether they'll both be moving out permanently after the summer next year or what.

Lots of exciting things to read here. I often feel that DD never tells me anything. Not about Oxford, anyway. Work is a little more full-on than in her first year, but so far she's keeping on top of it. I don't know how to feel about that, and I don't suppose it matters. I worried she might be coasting a bit when she seemed serenely untroubled by last year's workload, and now that things have ramped up a bit I worry about that instead.

@mutterphore DD did an integrated Masters, so in her 3rd year, the focus was on getting a good enough grade to go forward.

In her 4th year, she had 2 separate plans. Plan A was to try to work for a company she had done some work experience with at the end of her 2nd year. It wasn't organised through Cambridge at all, but an old friend of my dad suggested it. DD contacted them, stayed with my dad for a week and had a ball. Coincidentally, this company then visited the careers fair and DD spoke to them. She had lined up working in their Munich (I think) office for 2 weeks but as that was in July 2020, it fell through. The careers fair people knew of her and said they wanted to keep in contact. So in March of 4th year, she was interviewed for a graduate role. Had she been a BioNatSci person, she would have got the post according to their feedback, but she didn't get it. So she concentrated on plan B which was the PhD as the company prefers entrants to have that, and she had already been sounded out by her department.

Will be glad to get DD home. The strains of diagnosis with a significant disability (with progressive physical and mental / extreme fatigue effects) and the emergency engagement with the university disability service and paperwork, in top of a course well known for its extreme workload, means that this term has been a difficult one.

(Should clarify - it is not a condition that causes direct reduction in cognitive function. What I meant was that the extreme fatigue has obvious impact on her ability to work at a high level for long periods through ‘brain fog’, and the condition has known impacts on mental health through pain and the uncertainty around any incurable progressive disease)

@Malbecfan thanks for saying how things went for your DD, after graduation. I was hoping that DS1 and DS2 might want to do Masters but although that might be possible certainly in DS2's case, he particularly wants to get out into the working world and make his own way. Because of his desire for certainty about the next step, he might rush into the first graduate job he can get. However, I think if he slows down the process, he keeps more options open for a transitional period where I'm still offering some support financially and a roof over his head, whilst he continues to get further career-related qualifications. DS1 is much more laid back and although he's also been applying for things, isn't in any rush. It's an even more uncertain stage than uni. applications, as I don't know whether to prepare myself for a permanently empty nest or a continual coming and going!

@cantkeepawayforever your DD is amazing to be soldiering on despite her condition and it's so much to be managing - a recent diagnosis plus the busy term and workload and everything else at uni. I hope her tutors/ supervisors are being very understanding and supportive and her health takes absolute precedence over her degree. I hope she has a very relaxing holiday from work and doesn't need to study too much across the vacation. It must be very hard for you with her going through all this whilst away from home and there's only a limit to what you can do to help.

At this stage of the final year, do most students have jobs/ career tracks lined up after graduation?

I don't think they do have things lined up quite yet though they may have started the process. Cambridge has various careers fairs this term and next (probably applies elsewhere) so that gives some idea when students may be applying and then going through the process - hopefully all the final year students are aware of this. I seem to remember it being rather later through the academic year when DD told us about what various of her pals would be doing. (She was offered a job by the company she'd interned for which saved her a lot of time and effort! iirc she accepted it around Xmas)

www.careers.cam.ac.uk/careers-fairs-festivals

Thanks @mutterphore. She will have to work over the holiday, both to catch up on work unavoidably missed, and because her course sets assessed work over each vacation. However, being able to manage her working hours and match them to ‘least fatigued time’ each day should be helpful.

Support has been … interesting. The pastoral and disability arms of college and university have been exemplary. Course a bit trickier.

I've found the official dates. It looks as though the main date is also my birthday. Now I will just have to get DD geared up to book it asap.

My DS is going too @HoneyMobster so we have to wait a bit longer to get him home.

I'm loving hearing about all of the graduations and am squirreling info and tips away for when the time comes!

@cantkeepawayforever this sounds really tough for you all, pleased to hear you have the diagnosis and hopefully your DD will get the support she requires. Must have been hard for you supporting at a distance. Hope you enjoy your time together over Christmas.

Tutors seem v variable on pastoral / disability issues - my DC has a much more understanding one this term who linked them with the welfare team rather than just telling them to work harder....

We are looking forward to having DC1 home next weekend. DC2 (year out au pair) will stay in France.

Panicmode1:

Tip #1 Book accommodation as soon as you know the date.

Tip #2 Book restaurant for graduation supper as soon as you know the date, if you're wanting to go to one of the popular places such as Gees/ Magdalen Arms etc.

Tip #3 We've always done the night before the graduation for a meal, since the students seem to like doing something together with friends on the night of the graduation.

Tip #4 Don't bother arriving at the Sheldonian as early as stated; there's no advantage in terms of seating.

Tip #5 There's no real dress code. It's massively varied and it's clear that a lot of women regret their very high heels at quite an early stage of the proceedings. So dressing correctly is not something to worry about at all.

can'tkeepawayforever that's really tough - your poor DD. Best wishes.

DS 2 (O) says he enquired about his graduation date right back in August and was told they didn't know it yet and he's heard nothing since. I hope his college give them some info. about it soon. DS1 (C) seems to have a very clear single date for his on the college website, so that's a lot easier.

Thanks for the tips about booking accommodation and meal etc @goodbyestranger. That's very helpful, only DS2 (O) has suggested The Randolph!!! Surely that must be the most expensive place in all of Oxford? Is it even any good, given the prices? I think I may need to point him in other directions!

At this stage of the final year, do most students have jobs/ career tracks lined up after graduation?

DS is very much hoping to go on to Part III / MSci. He hasn't developed a plan B.

@cantkeepawayforever sorry to hear that she has faced so many challenges this term.

DS tried attending a careers fair, but it was all consulting and investment banking, neither of which he has any interest in. I don't know if there is an equivalent for research.