Oxford / Cambridge - current students support / chat thread 2022

[DadDadDad]

Continuing a thread for anyone who wants to talk about their sons' and daughters' experience being a student in Oxford or Cambridge. (Or nephews, granddaughters, sisters, uncles - or if you or they have now graduated but you want to share your thoughts - all are welcome!)

Some of us on this thread go back to I think to late 2019 when our DCs were going through the admission process. A lot's happened since!

Over to you...

We visited DS this afternoon. His minimalism extends to his communication with us during term time, so it was good to see him and reassure myself of his wellbeing.

Just one exam (Maths) to go, so hopefully he will be able to take things a bit easier for the rest of term.

He has submitted his preferences for Part II (third year), and feels hopeful about being allocated his first choice of subject (Physics). Thankfully it isn't one of the more competitive pathways in terms of number of places available.

I would like to go punting (as a passenger) at some point before he leaves, but today was a bit rainy for it. We went to the Museum of Zoology instead.

Nice to hear all the updates.

@BenedictSlumberpatch I'm so sorry to hear about your DSs college. This sounds very disruptive and also a real pity, as most of them do get attached to their colleges. I hope another college that suits him really well benefits from his presence and that this all gets sorted out soon.

DS1 (C) is currently in the middle of Tripos 1 exams - 24 hour open book exams. He seems to be managing them really well, although had some technical issue just as he was about to submit his first exam last week but all was well in the end. Today there's been a lot of loud noise/music and partying on the floor below, which got so bad, he had to call the Porters about it.

This is the first time he's done this and it would mean the noise levels were really bad, as he's usually very tolerant. It's so selfish of these other students, as quite a lot of people have exams in their rooms at the moment. By contrast, at DS2's (O) college, there are signs everywhere about being quiet and constant reminder emails and people are being very considerate.

DS2 is meanwhile enjoying a very relaxed term full of lots of social activities. He does have a 'take home' exam in 9th week for this term's module which is just some extended essays but he's already ahead, as usual, with his weekly essay and has now finished his final essay for the term, so will be able to start revising shortly.

DD had finished a marathon of 5 x 5 hr open book exams as of yesterday ( in a very quiet and respectful house, unlike your poor DT1 @mutterphore, so rude ) and is enjoying day of being aimless while everyone else still has exams. A lovely bit of time ahead now with Rowing and a ball to look forward to and she’s planning to go to lots of formals at other colleges with friends; almost unimaginable a couple of years ago. She going to Greece on an archeological dig in the summer and hopefully some other work placement stuff in the pipeline. She got all her choices for part II for third year, which from what I gather is going to be spent mainly in the Classics department.Third year accommodation decided ridiculously late in August, fingers crossed the room ballot is kind.She’s hoping to go out in style with something wood panelled ! ( and draughty and damp probably…)

@hobbema great to hear that your DD has finished her exams, which sound more arduous than DS1's. It sounds like she's in for a fantastic summer and good luck to her with the room ballot!

DS1 (C) submitted his final 12 hour open book exam at 3.30am this morning, seven and a half hours early as he decided to power on through the night. This meant he had all today and beyond, across the summer, to celebrate and relax - and hopefully do a bit of prep. for his third year too. No further noise disturbance thankfully. He's got 2 balls coming up and various other events to enjoy and is satisfied he did the best he could for Tripos 1. It's a waiting game now.

DS2 (O) starts his 'take-home' exam next week - which I think consists of some extended essays to be completed within 10 days or so. He's doing extra reading and additional notes, targeting specific topics he thinks will come up in the exam and meanwhile, is still doing lots of fun activities too.

Meanwhile, for me, six weeks after starting to have builders in the house to solve two major damp ingress problems, works ended recently. We now have one working shower for the summer! Yey!

Long discussion with DD about whether her selection as a member of next year's May Ball Committee in quite a 'full on' role is in any way compatible with the second year of her - notoriously labour-intensive - course. Not sure whether she's made a decision as yet......

That's not good @mutterphore - I hope the porters sorted it out quickly.
DD's exams finished ages ago but she said they're all very aware of other people still sitting them.
Good news for DD was that she got her results this week and they were great so she's very happy. They don't count for anything in her subject this year but it's still reassuring for her that she did well.

Just one exam for D1 this term, a 9 day/3 essay one which starts next week. She's had an extremely sore throat for about 6 weeks, antibiotics made no difference. Glandular fever test was negative and she's now got an ENT referral. Some of her third year friends have already finished finals, some fines have been handed out for trashing, now forbidden.

This week sees a wrap for dd. Just the partying and graduation to do now. On to pastures new afterwards. It's been a ride

I expect I'll still haunt the threads though, just to be annoying.

I hope your dd feels better soon Jules. That sounds miserable.

@cantkeepawayforever
My dd was on the Ball Committee in her (current) second year at Oxford. There was a fair bit of work in the month or so before the event and it was very full on in the day before/the day itself/the day after but she managed. She is a Humanities student so don't know if that makes a difference.

And she has volunteered to be a JCR member in her 3rd year

Not sure if Law counts as labour intensive compared to a lab based course but one of my DDs was pretty much in charge of a ball in her second year and it was fine (ball was fine/ course was fine).

One thing ( as an Oxford graduate mother ) I would say - is DS remains good friends with those he was friends with at Oxford - one of which came over to see DS and they both said - Oh we would like to have those days again - but we can't. I am sure this is true of other universities , but just to say - life goes on after graduating and good friends will stay - well - grandmothers eggs and the Waltons All best to all DCs and to @goodbyestranger 😊💐

@kitten, DD (O) is also in her final week! Her viva is tomorrow and then she is done. She was offered her ideal grad job a week ago which makes moving on so much easier.

DS (C) is treasurer for a ball in Michelmas term of his third year. It remains to be seen how he will cope. Meanwhile, second year exams finished on Friday and DH and I had a flying visit at the weekend. It was lovely to see Cambridge and DS in glorious sunshine.

Exams started today for DS (2nd year). He messaged after to say how pretty the examinations hall was and how he was sorry he couldn't take a picture! Had to be prompted to say how the exam went (fine)! Just 8 more papers to go.
BUT DH has now tested positive for Covid and we had tickets to a college Garden Party on Saturday 😔In theory we could go if I stay negative as he will have isolated for 5 days but what are the chances of that?!

And a big hello to you BasiliskStare :) I've been hoping that all was going well, and wondering how the three boys are (that includes the two with four legs). Do let me know, when you have time.

Good luck to all those with DCs shortly finishing their time at Oxbridge. I hope you keep posting on here from time to time, you 'old-timers' as it's nice to hear how your offspring are doing.

Good luck also with exams for those doing these. DS1 (C) finished his and they went fine, I think. He's now got lots of really exciting events on like Balls, Garden Parties, Choir parties and performances to look forward to, plus meeting up with friends and he seems to be enjoying life to the full.

DS2 (O) starts his 10 day exam period tomorrow - three 2,000 word essays to do - and seems happy and relaxed and on top of things. He's still finding time to do lots of interesting and exciting events too, with the rowing team, choirs and various friends. He's just been appointed one of the captains for next year for one of his sports so he's now been captain for two college sports. This is hilarious, as when he was at school, he didn't rate at all in any sports for most of his school career. It's all very low key college level sport though and he just enjoys the camaraderie and social side as much as the sports.

Regarding being on Ball Committees, both DS1 and DS2 have done this either for college ball or external/ other society ball. It did involve quite a bit of work, especially for DS2 who had a prominent position but definitely manageable alongside lots of other extracurricular activities and work.

By the way, when DCs need a reference for future employers, post-university, what do they do if their tutor/ supervisor no longer works there? Will there be some kind of paper-trail/ file kept on each student listing at least all their academic and extracurricular achievements/ positions of responsibility that someone who might not know them can draw on? Maybe employers no longer do recruitment in this way of course. I'm just aware that my old Oxford tutor did a reference for me even 10 years down the line, after I'd left and this led directly onto my career path.

@beeswain - I hope you stay clear of Covid.

@mutterphore - they do keep some records; there is an academic transcript with all their marks on. DS had to request a copy of his (so far) for an application to a summer placement based in another country.

DS has his final Part IB exam tomorrow. He spontaneously contacted me this week (a rare occurrence)... to share the results of a biodiversity sampling project that he and some of his friends did in a section of the college grounds (for fun).

He has volunteered for a couple of weeks with a summer roadshow demonstrating science experiments to children.

Joining you over here. Thanks @DadDadDad for the new thread.

@OhYouBadBadKitten I hope DD's results are good. Does she have plans for next year? @ofteninaspin brilliant news about your DD. I think I know the ball your DS is involved with. My DD has been to a few of them.

@BenedictSlumberpatch I'm so sorry to hear about the closure of the college. I hope all works out for your DC.

Nothing much to report here. DD has completed her 1st year of PhD report and poster. The deadline is tomorrow. She doesn't feel that she has made loads of progress but her supervisors have apparently said her progress is excellent, so who knows? We saw her briefly 2 weeks ago on our way to Harwich but the bloody M25 put paid to more than a quick loo stop, Maccy Ds and hug so we didn't miss our ferry. She is coming home for a few days next month and seems to be doing lots of rowing and coxing at the moment. She's also heading off to France with her bf shortly. I've no idea about her plans for the summer. We were all hoping to fly off to the Far East to see DD2 but have heard that you have to be on an organised tour to enter the country, and we wouldn't be. DD2 is cool about us not going, so we'll save up a bit and see if we can go next year instead.

DD (O) has discovered to her surprise that I was correct in saying that she’d need her silly hat for Prelims.

She did somehow know about the carnations.

Her siblings are finding it hilarious.

Notanoxfordfamily

@Malbecfan thanks, I hope so too, so that she is happy, I'll obviously be extremely proud of her, whatever the results, she handled this tough year so well.
She does have plans for afterwards, I'm really excited for her.

She discovered that her white shirt she owns is too fancy for graduation, so back to the drawing board for that one.

Well done to your dd, the first year of a PhD is reputed to be a challenging transition, a lot to get to grips with and progress can feel glacial until it all starts to come together. It's a shame about your Far East trip.

mutterphore my DC have had references for years after graduating from their tutors (they each tend to have one or two in particular that they call on). To be fair I think those tutors are all still in Oxford but I’m completely sure that they would have provided references even if they’d moved on. I called on my old professor more than ten years after graduating when he’d retired, and I got a lovely letter in return with a promise of references in perpetuity!

What's this! We've dropped to page two!

How was May week for all the DC? Mine has been to three balls, two college ball- type events and had a great time. The students who organised and worked them deserve a literal medal. Not just for the time and energy they expended, but for the effect on their peers. Cambridge can be so tough academically and socially for its students. It can take a big toll on mental health and make students question the place they worked so hard to get to.

It is a marvellous thing to emerge from the grind of exams and whatever else the year has thrown at you to have these experiences and to go home on a high. Anyone who has DC who organised and worked the balls; please be very proud of them; they might not realise just how much good they have done.

DD is spending another week at C to enjoy the museums and everything else Cambridge has to offer. Another 2: 1 this year, which is a fair reflection, so that's plenty good enough

Well, dd is home and finding the abrupt stop a bit weird (she had exams right to the end of Ninth Week). No idea of results yet, not surprisingly! She does at least seem to be planning on going back next term, which hasn’t been a given.

She looks amazingly well despite many rounds of illness over the year, so maybe the intensity of the exam term suits her - or maybe it’s having everyone else keeping their germs in their own revision books for a bit!

DS2 (O) is now back home today and has had a really happy and busy term. He submitted his exam essays yesterday and also found time during the 10 day exam period to socialise too. So I'm commending him on a balanced approach to life. It's lovely having him back again. He went to 2 May Balls this term - but as he was helping to run one, he didn't really get to appreciate it fully, as he was working a lot of the night. He's also enjoyed various social events for his sports' clubs and choir. It feels such a very short time since he started at Oxford and this second year has flown by.

It's only taken him about 30 minutes to unpack and put away everything, whereas DS1 tends not to bother to unpack at all, so it's all ready to go for the next term too!

DS1 (C) will be home tomorrow. He finished exams about 2 weeks ago and since then has been out with friends most days and nights. He's been to two May Balls also and various other events like garden parties and choir-related events. He's now got a lovely group of friends, after a slow start in his first year, given all the Covid-related restrictions.

At some point, I should get to see their Survivors' Photos for each May Ball as they lasted till the end. No idea how they have the stamina and DS1's body clock is currently diametrically opposite to my own.

@Ironoaks and @goodbyestranger thanks for reassuring me about how they can still get references, where possible or necessary, post university, even if their tutor/ supervisor has left.

@CinnamonJellyBeans well done to your DD on her busy and successful term and her 2:1.

@Malbecfan good news that your DD has completed her 1st year of PhD report. Well done to her. It's really great that you're still on this thread by the way - and you too, @BasiliskStare .

Hope everyone's DCs have fantastic and relaxing summers.

That all sounds amazing @mutterphore and thanks for the nice comments. I hope your DSs have a great summer.

My DD has been living it up, but went to a MCR event, then choir, then a May Ball where she started to feel rough and now has Covid. She's on day 5 but still testing positive. She is really fed up, but is consoling herself watching Love Island on her laptop. She thinks it was the MCR event that she picked it up, but she may well have been infectious at the ball. She might have graduated but I still worry...