Oxford / Cambridge - current students support / chat thread 2022

[DadDadDad]

Continuing a thread for anyone who wants to talk about their sons' and daughters' experience being a student in Oxford or Cambridge. (Or nephews, granddaughters, sisters, uncles - or if you or they have now graduated but you want to share your thoughts - all are welcome!)

Some of us on this thread go back to I think to late 2019 when our DCs were going through the admission process. A lot's happened since!

Over to you...

I feel like a real slacker. I haven't visited a single museum in C and this is DD's 6th year there

Same with me in Oxford and I've had since 2008 to date to do so. I'm afraid I head for Brew, the duck pond in the Parks, lunch places, Addison's Walk, tea places, Blackwell's (usually), pubs and supper places in that order. Not much room in the schedule for museums.

Thank you Ironoaks and Errol. I think we will 'do' the Fitzwilliam this time. The weather looks bad so botanical gardens are out unfortunately. DS has planned brunch on one of the days and I suspect we might have to shop too! It's probably worth just trying to get to know our way around. We have a few years ahead to work around the other museums.

As we are relatively local to C the Fitzwilliam is familiar to both DS and OM from visits when he was younger as is much of the rest of the City. My nephew lives there as well so it is comfortable for all. However, it is still 40 Km from us so we don't feel the need to pop over willy-nilly and he seems happy enough except that we will be visiting a week on Sunday for his birthday. 18+ years ago it fell on a date made up entirely of prime numbers which pleases him no end.

I don't do anything cultural in C unless a friend suggests it - the nearest I get is going to the pub! We're trying The Senate Bistro for lunch tomorrow.

@Panicmode1 DS is still finding his feet and has yet to start doing anything socially, although he did go for a few pints with his friend from school. He's finally reached out and spoken to the welfare team about his anxiety related to the work, so that's a positive. He's coming home this weekend to catch up with his friends. I can't wait to see him tonight! I think he'll make it through to the end of term now, which didn't look like happening a couple of weeks back. I'm really hoping he starts to settle properly from next term.

Oh @petitebleu I'm so glad he's reached out for help - that's a great step. And that he's met a friend for a drink. I hope you have a lovely weekend with him and that he slowly finds his 'tribe' and starts to really enjoy his time - they are having to do SO much in such a short space of time, and for slow burners (as I was) it's very daunting seeing ''everyone'' seemingly finding it easy.

@PermanentTemporary We had supper there in half term - I thought it was lovely, and they were dog friendly so that was a big bonus!

@petitebleu sounds so sensible to step out and take a breath, and to ask for support. Shows his resourcefulness.

@Panicmode1 thank you! I'm looking forward to seeing him so much.

Managed to send him 2 advent calendars by mistake which he's enjoying.

@Clemenc0 love the comment about a birthday with prime numbers. A sign of a true mathematician. My daughter (C fresher maths) sadly doesn't have a prime number birthday. She thought her choice of hexagonal crockery to take to C was very appropriate.

@cosmiccat very good re hexagons as they tessellate so nicely - whether one is tiling a wall or stitching a quilt together. If she is into that kind of thing I'd recommend Mathematical Models by Cundy & Rollett (not a comedy duo but fun nonetheless) I loved making the polyhedra as an older teenager. BTW I am not the mathematical parent; DW is.

2003 was the first prime year of this century (1999 was the previous prime year) and 2011 was the next one. I make it that only 52 dates in the year have a month and day that is prime, so by the end of this month, the all-prime birthdates from that time will all be 19 years old and represent around 1 in 7 of that age group.

Sad fact: I have just realised after reading latest posts and especially @DadDadDad 's that DD1 has a date of birth that is all prime numbers. She is a 1999 baby - why has it taken 23 years (another prime number) for it to dawn on me?

@Panicmode1 well done to your DS for coping with the loss of his grandparent, whilst also keeping on top of academic work and doing lots of extracurricular activities too. He sounds amazing.

@PermanentTemporary I'm very impressed on how well your DS has sensibly managed to curtail going out to just Saturdays, has also taken on rowing and is coping with CompSci too.

Some of these courses just sound so full on - Engineering, Maths, CompSci - well probably they all are but perhaps the more self-directed arts/humanities degrees (although not the joint arts/humanities subject degrees) are a bit more manageable. DS1 (C) has only just really felt the need to start going to any lectures, as some are more relevant than in his first two years but before that, he could really sort out his own studying in between a couple of weekly supervisions and slightly more than one essay a week.

@Ironoaks, it's lovely to hear that your DS is thriving and you've just reminded me that I need to buy DS1 and DS2 a chocolate advent calendar each - and of course one for myself as well.

@pantjog - great to hear that all your DCs are doing well, despite massive workload for your DS. I'm also looking forward to my DCs coming home, especially as it feels like we might now be on the countdown to them no longer coming home to stay, at the end of this coming summer! I can't yet really contemplate this as the rhythm of term-time and vacations has worked so well for me. Of course neither has yet secured a job/ further training, so we'll have to see what happens in the summer.

@petitebleu your DS is doing really, really well. Many don't survive the first term and the fact that he's now been out for a drink with an old school friend is a good start. DS1 (C) made his friends, in the end, through a school friend who was in the year ahead of him and this really helped him to find a wider group of friends initially connected to that one. I suspect most students will be feeling work-related anxiety too and he's done very well to seek some help and support with this.

All this mathematical talk is befuddling my dyscalculic brain! It always impresses me when people can speak/ write comfortably and eloquently about things like prime numbers and mathematical models. I think I may need some chocolate now (if only there were any in the house), to recover from the very thought of maths!

Dd almost had a completely palindromic birthday at 20:02 20 02 2002.. She was a few hours late, which annoyed the hell out of me.

This week we end up with a 90 minute call from DS (20/70 in favour of DM but I am easy with that). It felt like DS was drawing breath and unconsciously seeking affirmation of the good time he seems to be having. No problem with that from our p.o.v. However his new amie seems to come from serious and far eastern money in London so they are reviewing their putative relationship on their own - given that he comes from local and modest Essex stock that is fine by us. Actually, we were more tickled by DS' account of port and hot chocalate with the College Dean and the kindness of the night porter making him a cup of tea after a hard night's clubbing on his way back to his room last week. We will find out more a week on Sunday. ATB from bemused and old.parents.

90 minutes - treasure it! Sounds as though he's having fun.

DS has been very taken up with applying for 3rd year summer internships and has now been offered and accepted one much to my relief! He didn't accept until, just before the deadline as he wanted to try a couple more final rounds. I admire his focus and tenacity but he now has quite a lot of work to catch up on! I have been allowed a coffee meet up mid week next week which I'm looking forward to.

@beeswain - congratulations to him on his internship place!

It was lovely to see ds today and quite reassuring. He showed me some of his work sheets 🤓and we nipped into the main lecture theatre at the moment. The Senate Bistro was definitely a good choice. He is engrossed in it all in a pleasing way. No sign of romance which tbh is a relief at this stage. There's already been a careers fair - welcome to Compsci i guess. The biggest shock was that he's started drinking coffee!

lol @PermanentTemporary with the coffee drinking. That reminds me of DD1's first vacation. I asked casually "G&T anyone?" before dinner and she said "yes please". She's also quite partial to port, as a result of formal dinners.

Nipping in to say that hopefully DD Oxford (Classics) fresher will have successfully completed 5th week come Friday
How are the other freshers doing so far especially @petitebleu DS?

DD (Oxford medic) is doing ok. She has had a bout of tonsillitis but with a dose of antibiotics has recovered. Work wise she's doing well and even got an 'excellent' for her first essay. She does feel a bit overwhelmed with the volume of work I think.

My DS is loving it so far and has been lucky enough to make some great friends on his staircase. His workload is one of the lighter ones so he’s throwing himself into Oxford life with plenty of rowing and socialising. I know my older DC had plenty of ups and downs at uni so I’m bracing myself!

@ProggyMat He's still not finding it a huge lot easier and keeps talking about starting afresh next year somewhere else with a different subject. He had a great weekend at home seeing his friends but was very down about going back. Having said that, he's been a bit more on it with the work stuff and has finally got round to doing some admin stuff he should have done weeks ago so he is making tiny steps forward. If only he would get out and do something fun...

Many of you may remember my DS from posts over the last couple of years. Well he is now in his third year and struggling again. He passed his exams in 2nd year with a 2.1 and we thought we had turned a corner, that he finally felt justified to be there. But no he is really struggling to produce the work. He spends hours doing the prep but finds actually starting the essay really difficult. He has missed some deadlines although he has attended everything. He is rowing and singing in chapel which I think is a big commitment, he insist he needs to do it for his MH. I don't disagree but in moderation - he needs to hit those deadlines. He is struggling with money too and also by being surrounded by some very rich, very entitled students who don't respect others, themselves or college. Sorry to be so negative- its is a hard slog at the moment. He has some wonderful tutors. The course is very dry, no variation in task just essay after essay. In contrast to other universities there seems to be no focus on skills for employment or the ability to collaborate.