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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Staying at home for University

285 replies

Orangesandlemons77 · 11/04/2022 16:04

Reading in the papers that since Covid and with the cost of living as well, more Universities are having applicants from students living at home.

Wondered what others thought of this? I have a DS who will be applying this year, and yes think he may be applying to one nearby.

OP posts:
surreygirl1987 · 11/04/2022 22:10

No way! The academics was only one part of uni for me. I'd have enjoyed it so much less living at home. I would advise at the very least the first year in halls.

2pinkginsplease · 12/04/2022 08:10

Both mine are at home and commute to uni as and when they need to, ds I feel has missed out due to when covid hit. He hasn’t really made many friends and has stuck to his school friends however when I say missed out I just mean making friends and socialising I don’t mean living the student life,

Dd is living her best life, she camps out at her friends in the halls after a night out, she stays at other friends homes after nights out, goes to the union and is much more sociable than her brother however she always has been.

For us the closest uni provided the best courses for them, we live a 15 minute car journey from the city centre and would be madness to end up in debt to live in halls.

Original poster
Orangesandlemons77 · 12/04/2022 08:34

We live right in the city centre so it would make sense practically.

OP posts:
ronaldmcdonald123456 · 12/04/2022 09:54

I mean it's quite common for kids from the south asian background to live at home and go to uni. Their parents don't want them moving out, probably because of the 'party/misbehaving' aspect. Want to keep an eye on them.

ISpyCobraKai · 12/04/2022 10:43

Dd's staying at home, but her home is a flat with her bf.
She hasn't lived with me for almost three years and they've had their own flat for two.
It's near enough the city centre to get home from at anytime of night which she already does.

Susiesue61 · 12/04/2022 10:51

DS1 lived at home for first year and then moved out. It worked brilliantly for him and he has a wonderful group of mates. DD lived out this year for first year but was very close by. She came home a lot but still enjoyed it. She is starting an NHS related degree in September and plans to live at home, lots of students around here do. She isn't into clubbing and still plays sport with her pre uni teams and sees her school mates, most of whom stayed at home

user1487194234 · 12/04/2022 10:54

Staying at home for Uni is obviously a completely different experience from going away
Up to individuals what they prefer
Mine were/are all away and loved it

user1487194234 · 12/04/2022 10:57

We pay their costs in full so no issues about building up debt

familyissues12345 · 12/04/2022 11:03

My husband stayed at home for Uni, back in the 90's.

His opinion -

Bonuses - save money, less distractions

Negatives - more difficult socialising. He particularly missed out in year 1. By year 2 it wasn't so bad as he bunked down on peoples sofa after a night out etc, but wasn't quite the same we living with mates.

The most positive thing is that he had a mortgage by 22/23 as he saved a lot through Uni (his parents didn't charge rent), so by the time he got his first graduate job he'd saved enough for the deposit on a flat. Means now mid forties and we've almost paid off the mortgage.

For our son, he hasn't recommended staying at home. He feels it's important to get the full Uni experience, and he always felt a little left out. We are in a position to help out with property once DS leaves Uni though, so his opinion may have been different if DS wasn't going to get that support

shinynewapple22 · 12/04/2022 11:08

A friend's DD did this - she is a very 'old head on young shoulders' type person and had everything planned out financially . She was able to keep on with her existing PT job she had had in 6th form. She had the deposit to purchase her own house in her mid-twenties .

shinynewapple22 · 12/04/2022 11:15

As I think of it, two of DS's friends did too, but they both dropped out. I think this was down to the whole experience being through Covid restrictions though.

OutlookStalking · 12/04/2022 11:29

I'd love this for my daughter but we don't live near a good uni. Makes perfect sense if you do! Still have the option to live out or live out first year.

OutlookStalking · 12/04/2022 11:30

And as pp says it seems quite normal in Australia to go to the state uni - we have a weird obsession with ranking here - from A levels to unis .

HomeprideSaucy · 12/04/2022 11:35

@Orangesandlemons77

Well, they wouldn't have to stay in the family home would they, just possibly for the first year?

Is it possible to get a loan for staying at home one year then another the next year if they chose to stay on campus?

Far better to go into halls for the first year and then come home if you don't like it. Halls of residence are where close friendships are made (especially for arts and humanities courses where the contact hours tend to be lower). And in many universities the pressure is on by Christmas to sign up for second year rentals so you have to work pretty fast to make friends and decide what you're going to do next year / who you're going to live with.
beenrumbled · 12/04/2022 11:37

DS1 is currently in 1st year at Uni and stayed at home this year. It suited him to find his feet and friends -he is quite cautious by nature.

For 2nd year, he and 5 of the people from his course have signed a contract for a student house, and he is moving out into it in July - they pay half rent July & August and the agent is happy for them to move in over the summer. So although he is still at his local university, he is going to be getting the best of both worlds!

SockFluffInTheBath · 12/04/2022 11:40

I stayed at home for uni. I could have just about afforded to move out but I was the only woman on the course and the lads’ houses were as bad as they could have been Envy (not envy). I missed out in some ways but it was a pretty intensive course with lots of work and long hours so after the first year there wasn’t much partying going on anyway.

LegMeChicken · 12/04/2022 17:14

@OutlookStalking

And as pp says it seems quite normal in Australia to go to the state uni - we have a weird obsession with ranking here - from A levels to unis .
It's not 'just' ranking, but research/employment opportunities and module choice. I did Accounting and Finance. A good variety of very 'academic' modules (including history, quantitative finance, etc). Other unis tend to offer more 'business' modules to pad out the course, but also match the professional qualifications. Which you'd be paid to do anyway once you got an appropriate graduate job.

Many also have strong links with employers in their specialist subject. Including Ravensbourne University (the lowest ranked in the UK but THE place for anything creative/media), Hertfordshire (motorsports), etc.

RampantIvy · 14/04/2022 19:59

Well, they wouldn't have to stay in the family home would they, just possibly for the first year?

IMO the first year is the year they should stay in halls. This is when most friendships are formed.

I think it is different in Ireland @Aimee1987. The norm in the UK is to move away to university and learn to be independent. Living with student friends provides an instant social life that they won’t get at home. DD is at university 2 hours away and has made some fantastic friendships. She has had the sort of social life she never would have had at home. We are rural and she wanted to live in a city. Campus universities were a complete no for her.

kitcat15 · 14/04/2022 20:50

@shinynewapple22

A friend's DD did this - she is a very 'old head on young shoulders' type person and had everything planned out financially . She was able to keep on with her existing PT job she had had in 6th form. She had the deposit to purchase her own house in her mid-twenties .
Im 57...Back in the late 80s when I bought, it was very unusual if you didn't have a mortgage in your early 20s....now you are in a minority...how times change
SellFridges · 14/04/2022 20:59

I’m a few years away from my DC going but I’ve been very clear they won’t get a penny from me if they stay at home for uni. The whole experience is education and life experience.

If they don’t want to move out at 18 I will suggest they get an apprenticeship or delay studying.

lljkk · 14/04/2022 21:12

I never wanted to be wild.

DS doesn't want to be wild.
He just wants a good job prospect at end.
Our local uni is very popular with local 6th formers.

Kite22 · 14/04/2022 21:32

I don't think it is necessarily about being wild (though some will - you can still be wild at home if you are that way inclined), it is about learning to be an adult, and dealing with adult things - Landlords, banks, issues with your course, issues with your flatmates, having to find solutions to problems without a parent there as your safety net.

RampantIvy · 14/04/2022 21:53

I never wanted to be wild.

Neither did nor does DD, but going away and, living independently with friends has been so good for her.

Benjispruce4 · 14/04/2022 21:57

DD is about to finish and I think the independence and social aspect has been as valuable as her degree. I do get the appeal of study in at home as it’s daunting to go and move and meet new people but I think after the initial fear, the gains and growth are huge.

Benjispruce4 · 14/04/2022 22:00

I also think that as all universities charge the full £9250, you may as well pick a good one!

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