Staying at home for University

[Orangesandlemons77]

Reading in the papers that since Covid and with the cost of living as well, more Universities are having applicants from students living at home.

Wondered what others thought of this? I have a DS who will be applying this year, and yes think he may be applying to one nearby.

[Blanketpolicy]

Ds is starting uni this year. He has a place at a commutable uni which is highly rated for his course, and plans to stay at home for the first year.

There are lots of pro and cons to living out or commuting which I won't bore you with. Neither is right or wrong, each student should do what is right for them, I hate this misconception that all students are missing out if they don't follow someone elses idea of the "uni experience" cliché

[ronaldmcdonald123456]

Honestly. It's just not as fun/social. Like at uni you can go 'WILD' so to speak. Can you really do that living at home with your parents and commuting? Missing out on so many memories.

[Orangesandlemons77]

Well, they wouldn't have to stay in the family home would they, just possibly for the first year?

Is it possible to get a loan for staying at home one year then another the next year if they chose to stay on campus?

[Idiotintraining]

I did. More so to help my dad as my mum needed care. Worked out well. Was a long commute but didn't bother me

[PermanentTemporary]

I've known quite a few people who wanted the qualification without the 'student life' bit and good luck to them. One who stayed on campus even though she was reluctant was simply miserable for 3 years. A couple of others just moved back home and commuted.

I am to be fair glad that ds hasn't chosen that route - post pandemic I think he desperately needs a change of scene, a whole bunch of new experiences and a shove into independence. But that's him. It's not for everyone.

[titchy]

@Orangesandlemons77

Well, they wouldn't have to stay in the family home would they, just possibly for the first year?

Is it possible to get a loan for staying at home one year then another the next year if they chose to stay on campus?

If they're only at home for the first year doesnt that negate the benefit as they wouldn't be saving money in years 2 or 3? It seems like the worst of both worlds. House share groups are often decided quite early on so they risk missing the boat there, and most second years wouldn't want to be in halls with first years.

They can switch with the SLC though.

[Kite22]

It depends so much on your circumstances.
I did my degree when living with my parents but I'd left school some years before, and they were used to treating me as an adult and I was used to paying housekeeping, respecting it was their home, but still able to stay out. I'd got other friends who were living and working in the City. I had to do the degree to qualify for my career, rather than "wanting to go to university" side of it.
It worked for me.

However , despite it working for me, in those circumstances, at that time, I still think young people of 18 get a HUGE amount from living away from parents, with other young people, and learning to "adult", and all my dc have benefited hugely from doing this. I didn't have to persuade them - they were all very keen to go away to University, but if they were unsure I would have encouraged them to do so with all my being.
It includes the 'fun' and social side, but more importantly it is about the "what to do when things don't go according to plan and parents aren't there to sort me out" side of things. It is brilliant to get a chance to learn how to do all sorts of things amongst others in the same boat.

[Aimee1987]

I grew up I Dublin and went to uni there as did most of my friends. Living away from home was extortionate and not something I would consider.

It meant I left my undergrad with minimal debt, I live in a town with a Russel group uni and will be advising my kids to apply there ( toddler and pregnant so a while of)

[Frenziedandfurious]

The uni I work at loads of students live at home. It's not Russell group though and it's more the sort of uni where you learn a trade rather than do something purely academic.

I did the whole moving out to uni thing as I thought I "should" I loved the city I moved to but hated hated hated the communal living situation. On reflection I'd have been better off getting a bedsit or something and having my own space. I have a friend who did this, he knew it wasn't a good idea him living with anyone. A lot of expectation is placed on the uni "experience" and I think quite often it really doesn't live up to expectation.

I think DD will suit moving out but not DS. There's a selection of local excellent unis within commuting distance that he could go to. I'd be happy for him to stay at home and think about moving out when he starts earning.

[Dilbertian]

I did that. Moved into private student accommodation for Y2 and Y3. Even though I wasn't in my uni's accommodation, it was still far more fun and interesting living with students and near uni and my friends. Also more 'growing up' opportunities. I had not been unhappy or restricted living with my parents and commuting, but I had certainly been missing out.

[LegMeChicken]

IMO students gain more from the growing up they do at uni, rather than what they actually study.
Of course there are exceptions. If you're going to spend all your time in your room anyway, already quite independent, etc etc.
It's a shame to never have lived away, for the first year at least.

[PerpetualOptimist]

A variation on the 'home or halls' theme I have seen amongst some London-based Mumsnetters if for the DC to go to a London university and live in halls the first year but at home for the subsequent ones.

It was argued this allowed for some experience of independent living, bonding with other first years and a psychological 'break' from the teenage years with DC returning to the family home on a different, more adult basis.

As other PPs have said, 'live away from home' is viewed as the default template in the UK but it is perfectly possible to build friendship groups in first year whilst living at home. It perhaps requires a more conscious strategy concerning participation in sports and other clubs and being proactive about meeting up with coursemates.

[SometimesRavenSometimesParrot]

I stayed at home. I was eight minutes on a train from the city centre and then five minutes walk from campus at the other end so accom was further away! I had friends from all over, school, other interests and uni and never felt like I missed out. I left with no debt.

A lot of friends who moved out had a great time and a similar number had a totally miserable time, it’s really personal. But unis do a lot more for commuter students now!

[Phos]

Suppose it depends on the individual and indeed the parents. My mum was really weird about me going on nights out when I was in Sixth Form, she didn't mind me going but would only allow it if I was staying over at someone else's house afterwards. She also would never allow me to have a boyfriend sleep over (even when I was over 18!) so that wouldn't have been a lot of fun.

[readsalotgirl63]

I stayed at home for 3 of my 4 years at Uni. This was very common in the city I grew up in (Glasgow) but that was a looking time ago.

There are benefits - adjusting to the more independent study required without also having to cope with adjusting to living with a bunch of ransoms etc

[Friedaseyebrow]

My DD is at a local uni. She lived at home for her first year and is in a house with friends, around ten miles away for Yr 2, she's just signed to stay for final year too. It works really well for her.

[shabbalabba]

A lot of Irish students do it if they can...then it means that they only have to fork out for their registration fees of 3k per year. It makes it much more affordable and most Irish university students come home every weekend anyway.

[Orangesandlemons77]

I like the idea of having a year away then living back at home- not in London but a small city

[Iwasneverafanofthat]

Very interesting question and replies. There are universities in UK where living at home is more common (a pp mentioned Glasgow, London also, and not everyone moves away there even for 1st yr), so not unheard of. In the rest of Europe it's extremely common, I think.

As another pp has said, some love the 'living in halls' thing and otoh every year there are threads on mn about dteens who are utterly miserable with their hall-mates. Unpopular opinion - the 'fab/quite good living away from home university experience' doesn't happen for everyone, and I think it's very important not to go with expectations of the social life too high.
So I would say whatever your dc wants will be a reasonable choice - yes going away does give them experience of adult life but then 50% of dteens don't go to university and do still end up able to lead successful adult lives. Depends on the individual - and which universities are close by, of course.

[LynetteScavo]

I think it's a good idea if the student is happy to be at home. Personally I couldn't wait to get away from
my parents and hometown at that age!

I think spending thousands on accommodation when it's not necessary is silly, but then I live in commuting distance to several universities, so know lots of students who have stayed at home while studying.

[PerpetualOptimist]

Attending a university some way from home and living away from home throughout that time is to some extent a peculiarly English phenomenon for various historical reasons. In the US and in Australia, for example, you typically attend your local state university and, although states can be huge, population clustering usually means a large proportion of students live within commutable distance of their state university and so live at home; that is the norm.

As others highlight, the important thing is not to herd young people into the English default option. It may not suit them and, frankly, the cost is huge if you look at the rent charged per m2 and the standard of accommodation offered to first years' by universities. It is entirely rational to question the merits. For some it stacks up; for others it does not.

It is good to explore different ideas Orangesandlemons77. I am sure the 'first year away, other years at home' model would work in locations other than London too. A lot of it is about talking through what an adult relationship at the family home looks like.

As Iwasneverafanofthat points out, 50% of young adults transition to maturity without the benefit of student halls and more than that proportion do so in other countries.

[kitcat15]

@ronaldmcdonald123456

Honestly. It's just not as fun/social. Like at uni you can go 'WILD' so to speak. Can you really do that living at home with your parents and commuting? Missing out on so many memories.

But their memories will be different...not missed out on🙄... not everyone wants to be WILD ...my DD spent ages 15 to 19 being WILD ...then she was done with it....went to uni ...lived at home with her boyfriend....did an NHS degree so had no tuition costs and didn't need ro get a student loan as she was at home....now 27...2 kids...Nice house...no student debt....very happy ...lots of good uni memories....lots of local uni friends who also lived at home

[ElizaB22]

My DD1 has stayed at home while studying, she was able to keep up a part time job, she has bought a car and started saving for a deposit for a flat and has managed to get a great graduate job which is just commutable from home, if petrol doesn't go up anymore, so she is planning to stay at home while she saves more of her deposit.

[Hawkins001]

@Orangesandlemons77

Reading in the papers that since Covid and with the cost of living as well, more Universities are having applicants from students living at home.

Wondered what others thought of this? I have a DS who will be applying this year, and yes think he may be applying to one nearby.

I would presume the trade off would be missing out on socialising in halls, but other than that I presume it's possible with transport links etc

[Kite22]

I stayed at home. I was eight minutes on a train from the city centre and then five minutes walk from campus at the other end so accom was further away! I had friends from all over, school, other interests and uni and never felt like I missed out. I left with no debt.

But not many families would be able to pay out £28K for fees, even if they didn't take the maintenance loan (and without the loan, how does the student afford transport, food, socialising, and other living costs?). To be debt free takes a lot more than 'living at home'.