Do you feel Prouder about Oxbridge because of going to the local comprehensive?

[Verysadatwork]

I confess I do feel extra proud of ds getting to Cambridge for this reason

I don’t know how many of us think our DC might go to Oxbridge when they are 11. Or even 13. My DD got a place for MFL. We didn’t know she was good at MFL when we chose her school. She had y done any MFL before. So how could we know?

We chose the best school for her based on what we did know. She developed in a way we would never have predicted.

I know some private schools are not great but parents still like them. It doesn’t matter if they are not academic if they suit your child. However I would not pay for poor teaching but you cannot expect all private schools to be full of high achievers. Especially true when you live in a grammar school county. Private schools are a haven away from the secondary moderns.

At the risk of being controversial, Ws probably need to accept that Oxbridge doesn’t necessarily appeal to the Scots and some DC really do like to stay in the NE or NW. it’s also true that some in some areas, DC simply don’t want Oxbridge or, in large numbers, have the exam predictions to get there. The attainment of DC isn’t a level playing field. However not applying won’t result in success.

We all seem to know very bright DC who don’t get in. Sometimes test results or PS can make a difference. However all applications should be treated fairly but we now know some dc are more deserving than others and they come first.

Interestingly, job prospects are not necessarily enhanced for comp DC going to Oxbridge. It’s become apparent that they don’t seem out the best paid careers but prefer to be teachers and similar roles that benefit society. So even with the best education in the world their sights rending their same as DC from an ex poly. However I’m sure many will think that a good thing but it’s a very expensive education for relatively low paid work. (donning hard hat now!)

@Sunshine4Ever2 But would you change how you did things if you could go back now? If your DC was happy in a private school and got their first choice Uni, would you do anything different if you could have your time over and send them to a comp?

Oxbridge didn't matter to your DC, they didn't want it. So just be happy for all those comp kids who also busted a gut, also got amazing grades, did want it and got it. Your DC is happy, they are happy.

It wasn’t a humanities subject - I’m aware these were easier. Thanks.

Ugh!! Typos. Their sights remain the same as DC from former polys.

@TizerorFizz Could you link me that research about Oxford grads and low paying jobs please?

@Chocalata No I wouldn’t have changed anything. Because I couldn’t be happier about how he’s turned out, his friendship group or where he’s going for his undergraduate. And as I’ve said repeatedly, those with Oxbridge offers should be very proud. Just not more proud because they come from the state school system (unless it’s from a sink school).

I know someone who was state school then Oxbridge.

And don’t we all know it! A bit like you’re suggesting now - she thinks there’s something very special about her, when in reality, most Oxbridge grads come from state school.

Her family put her on a pedestal her whole life, and now that she’s a teacher (just like us lesser well educated people!) the chip on her shoulder is HUGE! She tells everyone she meets, within minutes, that she’s ‘oxbridge but poor’. It’s embarrassing.

Her Oxbridge days were 20 years ago! She’s obsessed with this facet of her identity and acts as though it’s her only personality trait. In fact, it is! She’s never done anything since then which could possibly come close to the family pride she generated at 18 years old… she peaked upon entry, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Sorry, OP, not to rain on your parade - my point is, entry to Oxbridge doesn’t mean DS has ‘made it.’ His life could still go in any direction

@Sunshine4Ever2
I suppose they will feel how they feel. I for one would be bursting if I had achieved so much from a school with meagre budgets and large classes. The future is theirs.

@DogsAndGin Sounds like my DP's Etonian friends. Not achieved anything the lot of them, apart from still being able to say they went to Eton, gets a bit tiresome after thirty years doesn't it.

Oh and DH and I both have Oxbridge PhDs. Doesn’t have a bearing on our son though. Nor should it.

It’s a report by the Oxford university careers service. They herald the fact that prospects are similar (grad employment) but scrolling down you find teaching and financial services stats. What will become evident is salary ceilings. Yes these are both grad level professional jobs, but the smaller number of independent school grads get more jobs in the financial sector and comp DC do more teaching. You might expect that as they are the majority but the report doesn’t look at earnings in 10 years time. I would bet there’s a big difference.

@chocolata Oh DS is bursting with happiness at his offers, don’t worry! He wasn’t even fazed by his Oxford rejection as he didn’t really want it in the first place. I just reacted to the title of this thread. But if it helps people to feel more special, go for it!

@TizerorFizz Have you got a link?

@Sunshine4Ever2 Yay, that is great he is pleased, and I am sure you are pleased for him too. Over and out.

@chocolata I’m guessing you’ve never taken a radio course 😂🤣🤣
“Over” means “I’m awaiting your response”
“Out” means “I’m switching off”
“Over and out” means “I’m an idiot”

[quote Sunshine4Ever2]@chocolata Oh DS is bursting with happiness at his offers, don’t worry! He wasn’t even fazed by his Oxford rejection as he didn’t really want it in the first place. I just reacted to the title of this thread. But if it helps people to feel more special, go for it![/quote]
It's nothing to do with "feeling special" to understand the fairly obvious fact that those from comprehensive schools have achieved more if they get the same results as those from expensive selective schools.

When Dh got his Cambridge offer he had to open his results live on local radio that’s how excited his headteacher (rural comp) was at the rarity 😁. His parents both left school at 16 and to this day don’t quite think they realise how well he did as they had zero experience themselves of further education.

Going to a moderately selective (by London standards) independent school was probably the worst decision we made for one of our DS. We chose it for the smaller class sizes. However, with one or two exceptions, the teaching was diabolical. The teachers were very elderly and some of them didn’t even know which child they were talking about in parents evenings. Lots of bemused looks all round. Then the head changed and things went from bad to worse. The SEN teacher was summarily sacked and the head told me she didn’t really believe in dyslexia and if my son needed extra support I should get him a tutor outside school. So basically, I got him through his GCSEs myself and he had an hour with an online dyslexia tutor a week. He came on in leaps and bounds during lockdown because he wasn’t physically having to sit in that school and I could actually do something help him. If it wasn’t for lockdown, I genuinely think he would have failed his GCSEs. He obviously wasn’t going back to that school so he went to a state sixth form college which is brand new, state of the art and has an SEN dept. Unfortunately, there are a whole raft of social / behaviour problems at this school. Far too many students who seem to think they are doing the place a favour by showing up. He had been there only a matter of weeks when a student was fatally stabbed in broad daylight at the entrance (we have still not been told whether the murderer was a student but we di know he was 16). So that was horrific and very scary.

My other two DS got into two (different) of the London super-selectives at 7+ and one at 11+ and I have to say the education they have received is fantastic. Especially to me who comes from a country where education was very hit and miss (especially for girls). DH is also an immigrant.

So, from my perspective, I don’t believe in “private always equals better.” It really depends on the school and where you live. It’s a postcode lottery in many cases.

The DS who got into Cambridge was very average at his school. He got ten 9s and four A but no fuss or fanfare was made about that as so many get those grades at that school. However, he applied post A-level. This meant he had time to do a LOT over and above the A-level curriculum that was relevant to his subject. I think this is the only reason he got in. His independent work (that had nothing to do with the school) is what they talked about in one if his interviews. He wrote essays for about eight or nine essay competitions and he won 2. His did and EPQ and got an A and also did another extended essay of about 10.000 words off his own bat over the summer. Also, it was just luck as his interests sort of coincided with one of the interviewers. I genuinely think luck plays a big part of it. With another interviewer he may not have got in and he knows a lot of people he believes are more worthy then him who didn’t get places. It’s hardly a perfect science is it? Never was and never will be. Not does he think he’s going to walk into a better job than his brothers because life isn’t life that and only time will tell.

@Sunshine4Ever2 gosh you are delightful aren’t you. Not that I am surprised from your moaning tone!

I understand what you are saying golden but the luck thing sounds like it only applies for science, history, english..... what is this 50%? ancient greek? cello playing? I suspect not luck.

"So much is down to luck. The differences between those who get offers snd those who don’t are wafer thin.

Also, it really depends what you’re applying for because for some very competitive subjects the offer rate is about 8%, but in others it may be as high as 50%."

I think I have a political feeling - like it's one up for our school, one up for our primary school. It means more to us.

It's like Leicester winning the cup. If Man City win it's just not interesting.

I'm really shocked and startled by the post above about salary levels for comp-background grads being unaffected by Oxbridge degree.

I think it's shocking because it just somehow rings true :(

it's about training people to believe they are special isn't it? It starts with the playdates when they are 4 and they tell you they are "lucky" because of their car....

There is a state sixth form in Newham in East London from which 85 got into Oxbridge this year. Have a look at Brampton Academy, Newham. It is a selective school though, not a comprehensive. I wonder what the exam / selection precession is to get in there or if you have to live in a certain catchment?

OP, what do you mean - “what is this 50%?”

Well I suppose it depends really.

The local comprehensive could be fantastic, average or shit.

Has your ds triumphed against the odds?

“it's about training people to believe they are special isn't it? It starts with the playdates when they are 4 and they tell you they are "lucky" because of their car....”

What does this even mean?

Why did your son go for Oxbridge OP? If you’ve believe all schools should be equal, surely all universities should be equal too? Why should someone be able to ‘get ahead’ in life by getting an Oxbridge place? Is this not training them to think they are ‘special?’