Mental health - university choices and applications

[FoffFoffFoff]

I found a thread from last year that I was going to resurrect, but decided better form to start my own.

Dc in y12->13, severe anxiety and some depression. Quite young for age (not going to take a year out, that would make the anxiety worse). Social anxiety also.

Assume campus universities better suited than city universities? Dc aiming for RG-type universities.

Please share the names of any universities that your DC with MH issues have found good. Any to avoid?

Preferably in England as don't want DC to be too far away and not be able to easily reach/return if there is a crisis.

Previous thread I read also said to declare these MH issues on UCAS form - will that limit their acceptances to course directors with supportive attitudes? Guess better to rule out unsupportive courses, but would rather know in advance so as not to waste a choice.

Most open days currently online so can't just wander up and ask.

Actually England or Wales both fine, just not N. Ireland or Scotland.

Watcing with interest. My DC is considering living at home and commuting to uni in local city, but this limits course choice.

Forgot to say 'Thank you in advance',
but I would really be v. grateful (don't want DC to be another statistic and currently feel totally in the dark).

DD going into year 11 but I’m already thinking about this. Same concerns as OP. I recently found out that some universities have quiet accommodation. A possible option?

@TangledTrees

Watcing with interest. My DC is considering living at home and commuting to uni in local city, but this limits course choice.

I would love my Dc to stay at home and get involved in student life while starting from home, then move out when ready, but we are over an hour from any of the main universities.

@Lunificent

DD going into year 11 but I’m already thinking about this. Same concerns as OP. I recently found out that some universities have quiet accommodation. A possible option?

That is very useful to know. I did suggest to Dp that we could ask the accommodation office not to put Dc with a load of extroverted noisy boozy types, but Dp said Dc might then end up isolated from peers, which would trigger more anxiety and depression. Plus would they all be depressed together?

The shared kitchen thing is actually quite stressful if you have social anxiety. I did wonder about catered accommodation, but is that just at Oxbridge (and Durham?)?

Also there is a shortage of accommodation on most campuses so would this just reduce chances of getting any accommodation?

(can't think where Dc inherited their anxiety from)

Chichester Uni is one of the smaller Uni’s. The pastoral care is supposed to be good x

But it is not just the social/accommodation worries, Dc would likely need a lot of support from course as well, not academically but pastoral support.

We need a university where Dc can easily get mental health help, counselling, treatment, advocacy with the course leaders.

Maybe just pick a campus university and head straight for the health centre?

Very important to contact the disability support dept at the point of or prior to application , to be honest you can tell a lot from their initial reactions I would also say try not to go too far from home do that they can come home and escape the pressure cooker for a short time if it all gets too much

If DC has social anxiety then a shared kitchen might be less daunting than walking into a catered hall - how do they find lunches at school?

Thanks @Peaseblossum22
Will do that. So I could just pick up the phone when term starts and talk to these departments? I would feel so much better if that were possilbe.

Yes, looking close to home, but DC wants top-top unis, trying to reign them in from a 6-7 hour journey that is going to finish us all off. They are a glutton for punishment when it comes to high-pressure environments.

Catered accommodation tends to be less popular because it’s expensive , but even in catered there are some shared facilities particularly bathrooms and kitchenettes. Plus there is eating in large noisy communal dining rooms.

It really is true that the more honest and open you are the better things will work out. I would though be wary of Oxbridge and anxiety it’s a very pressured and competitive environment but others may disagree .

@FoffFoffFoff

But it is not just the social/accommodation worries, Dc would likely need a lot of support from course as well, not academically but pastoral support.

We need a university where Dc can easily get mental health help, counselling, treatment, advocacy with the course leaders.

Maybe just pick a campus university and head straight for the health centre?

My niece had this at Manchester Metropolitan University, also heard good things about Sheffield Hallam.

For example

www.dur.ac.uk/disability.support/about/

@londonmummy1966

If DC has social anxiety then a shared kitchen might be less daunting than walking into a catered hall - how do they find lunches at school?

They hate the canteen - but Covid has meant they can only have lunch at same time as their own year group, so the canteen area gets very dominated by loud 'popular' pupils and everyone else feels uncomfortable and basically goes without lunch or tries to eat it secretly in the study area Would a uni catered hall be like this? I always had self-catering accommodation at uni and that did get dominated also by the 'party' people.

Most unis have catered options, but for many that can involve a pre-paid card that you use in campus cafes etc to purchase meals rather than dining halls.
Nottingham has a lot of on campus catered accommodation with dining halls. I think Exeter had some. No idea about the pastoral side though.

Hi
I'd like to join too if thats okay - My DD was due to sit her A-levels this year but due to MH issues (eating disorder) they are re-starting 6th form. Obviously no idea how she'll be in a couple of years time but would be great to participate in this thread.

[quote Peaseblossum22]For example

www.dur.ac.uk/disability.support/about/[/quote]
Thanks for that link, very useful.

Also I will look for similar on websites of other universities under consideration.

Would the disability service also be able to advice on the attitudes of particular courses?

Disabled students allowance will be a massive support here.

Can you say a bit more about what your daughters looking for? Subject, placement year etc.

You can email university support teams now, don’t need to wait till term starts.

DS took catered accommodation but found the noise in hall so overwhelming that he rarely ate there. So that’s something to bear in mind.

Quiet blocks are full of quietish kids. There will be plenty of them, honestly.

I’d try Bath, on friend’s recommendations. Otherwise pick within a couple of hours of home. Repeatedly slogging up the motorway for 5 hours in an emergency got wearing.

Pastoral at University of Nottingham is shocking and almost non existent, despite what they claim - experiences of multiple people that I know.

Nottingham Trent, on the other hand, is well known for excellent pastoral support. And is higher in the rankings than the cities RG Uni.

Finance may preclude this of course, but DD has in the past seen a counsellor, and over lockdown this was obviously on-line. She therefore has the ability to now contact the counsellor when and if she needs, and have a session on-line. Might be useful going forward?

DD is going into quiet accommodation. She is a pretty normal teen, and does a lot of social activities, but if she has had a full on day, she needs a bit of quiet time to herself, in order to re-group. Hence the choice of quiet accommodation.

We didn't declare any issues with the university though. After this year I would hope the uni's are pretty well ready for an influx of anxious and depressed teens! I say this in the nicest possible way, but I don't think DD will be unique in this.

Declaring MH conditions won't affect offers. All universities have disability services, DD/you should contact them before applying to ask about support, some are better than others. Most (? all) have a counselling service. DD can also apply for DSA which can include mentoring.

Not everyone in quiet accommodation is depressed - people choose it for a variety of reasons - health conditions, work, religion, mature students, students who just don't want to party a lot, people who just want quieter accommodation...

Not everywhere has a shortage of university accommodation, and usually disabled students are prioritised, especially if the need for certain types of accommodation is included in their DSA needs assessment. I agree with others, catered accommodation, which isn't unique to Oxbridge or Durham, can be just as hard for those with anxiety. Depending on how the catering is provided it can lead to worries over having no one to sit with etc. Also think about whether DC needs an ensuite or if shared facilities are OK. Or if a studio would be better.

I would strongly advise that they do not go too far away from home. I would say no more than 2 or 3 hours away.

It can be quite difficult to tell how they are getting on and sometimes you just have to go and assess the situation for yourself. You know your DC better than anyone so will be best judge of whether they are actually coping or not.

Imagine being worried and being a 5 hour drive away? In your situation I would want to be easily able to pop up for a Saturday/Sunday.

OK, thanks for all the posts, catered accommodation now less appealing.
Thanks for all the positive recommendations for quiet accommodation. Will discuss with Dc, expecting them to be worried (of course) about stigma/isolation.

It is also useful to know that universities deal with mental health disorders as part of the disability service, which I wouldn't necessarily have expected (sixth form deal with it through SEN department).

Also very grateful for the specific universities mentioned (3-4 of which are currently highly likely to be applied to).

(p.s. sorry if I sound flippant, it is dark humour, acquired and required after several years of very dark mental health situation with Dc, not that I don't take it seriously, obviously I do or else it wouldn't be my main criteria for university choice)