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Higher education

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Original poster

Mental health - university choices and applications

213 replies

FoffFoffFoff · 31/08/2021 16:19

I found a thread from last year that I was going to resurrect, but decided better form to start my own.

Dc in y12->13, severe anxiety and some depression. Quite young for age (not going to take a year out, that would make the anxiety worse). Social anxiety also.

Assume campus universities better suited than city universities? Dc aiming for RG-type universities.

Please share the names of any universities that your DC with MH issues have found good. Any to avoid?

Preferably in England as don't want DC to be too far away and not be able to easily reach/return if there is a crisis.

Previous thread I read also said to declare these MH issues on UCAS form - will that limit their acceptances to course directors with supportive attitudes? Guess better to rule out unsupportive courses, but would rather know in advance so as not to waste a choice.

Most open days currently online so can't just wander up and ask.

OP posts:
AvocadoPlant · 01/09/2021 07:35

@PileOfBooks

We'd wondered about southampton but a bit worried about getting from halls to lectures/etc and if it might be overwhelming.
Can I ask what you mean by overwhelming? DS1 went to Southampton, 1st year halls at Glen Eyre were about a 10 min walk to lectures. In the following years he was never more than a 15 minute walk away as there lots of private rentals so nearby.

DS2 was at Warwick, campus uni, and from his on-site halls it also took around 10 minutes to get to lectures. In the following years he lived at Lem (Royal Leamington Spa) so around 40 minutes by bus.

I mean this very gently, if you’re concerned your DC can’t cope with this level of travel then please consider whether leaving home will be the best choice for them at this time.

Piggywaspushed · 01/09/2021 08:16

Sorry, skipped a page so not sure if anyone mentioned York. It is campus uni but also ahs colleges which form their own support networks and have their own welfare reps. On that note, Lancaster is also collegiate so students in smaller clusters, as it were.

workhelppls · 01/09/2021 08:20

I have just graduated from Newcastle university and suffered with PTSD at the start of third year. The support was phenomenal. was given a personal tutor in the first week of first year and the module leaders and course leaders were all extremely understanding and helpful in assisting me with submitting a PEC to defer some modules. They also have a brilliant students Union and are really pushing well-being at the mo

Boulshired · 01/09/2021 08:25

AvocadoPlant the first part explaining Southampton was excellent, knowledge that you have that can be shared and reassure. The last part whilst I know was trying to be helpful has the opposite. Adults (even though they are our children) with mental health or hidden disabilities may want the same experiences as their peers. They like my DD are fighting their mental health for the same experience, DD is scared of going to university but she is also scared of spending the next couple of years in her room. So we have tried like many of the posters here to find the best option. Many students find the idea of city rather than campus overwhelming but as you have shown Southampton has a campus feel within a city.

GnomeDePlume · 01/09/2021 08:33

Course size can be very important in the 'name not number' consideration. DD is on a tiny course and has a good close relationship with course leaders. She is at Uni of Sheffield and is having to resit 3rd year as a result of MH crisis. Course tutors have really pulled out all the stops to keep her on the course.

She already had DSA before she started and generally found the service helpful but did need to access help not wait for it to come to her.

If your DD wants quiet accommodation then she does need to specifically request this.

DD quickly realised that her first year flat mates were the MDMA people while the flat upstairs were the coke people. Said that it made for 'interesting' discussions when a joint night out was being planned. I am fairly sure that none of the people involved will have mentioned this on their accommodation applications!

IdblowJonSnow · 01/09/2021 08:49

I would also go for proximity as one of the main things to look for.

NaToth · 01/09/2021 09:18

Conversely,I thought @AvocadoPlant made a very good point and I say that having worked in a university for a number of years in a support role which required close contact with students across the organisation. I am also a Mental Health First Aider.

I would often find that up to 50% of students on any one class list had declared a disability of some description and had unrealistic expectations of how teaching staff would work to support them, usually given by the recruiters, who themselves had no dealings with students once they had actually arrived on campus.

Extrapolate that across the average university and you would find support services overwhelmed and again the promised support there in principle, as it has to be, but not in practice. Also of course, students have to actively engage with sources of support and getting them to do this is often an issue in itself, even when there is a clear need.

This takes nothing away from the dedicated people who work in student support, but their workloads have increased exponentially in recent years and of course funding has not, with predictable results.

Bryonyshcmyony · 01/09/2021 09:20

Stay close to home and stop her putting so much pressure on herself for a "top top uni"

Bryonyshcmyony · 01/09/2021 09:22

Being frank, No uni is going to do your job for you. Dd2 (treated for anxiety
) got triple A star but chose Exeter as it was nearby so she can be supported by us if necessary

Bryonyshcmyony · 01/09/2021 09:25

I mean this very gently, if you’re concerned your DC can’t cope with this level of travel then please consider whether leaving home will be the best choice for them at this time
Definitely this

Piggywaspushed · 01/09/2021 09:37

Not everyone has somewhere as excellent as Exeter nearby, though...

I think drawing a circle of distance is a good plan, however.

That said, my friend's son went to much aforementioned Keele and was home within 2 weeks. He is now happily ensconced at Lincoln. It was nothing Keele did: it was just all the Freshers' experience was too much for him, I think. It's all quite full on these days.

Bryonyshcmyony · 01/09/2021 09:39

@Piggywaspushed

Not everyone has somewhere as excellent as Exeter nearby, though...

I think drawing a circle of distance is a good plan, however.

That said, my friend's son went to much aforementioned Keele and was home within 2 weeks. He is now happily ensconced at Lincoln. It was nothing Keele did: it was just all the Freshers' experience was too much for him, I think. It's all quite full on these days.

Yes Exeter is good but it is barely in the top ten for her course. I'd say in England most people have a decent uni 2 hours away.
Ormally · 01/09/2021 09:42

I work in a university. One of the things I am most impressed with is an effort to dial down a drinking culture a bit for things such as Freshers Week (not called this on my campus). There is support for that from the Student Union too.

The campus is about as urban as you get, but very green, with allotments and a huge range of activities such as ping pong nights and gardening/cooking sessions. I realise it sounds unrealistically tame, it isn't, but these options are there. It is a place that is not known as a magnet for high flying/ well-off students, and it has a high proportion of international students. I think this has been quite good in terms of the range of things that the support and welfare systems have needed to work on. Possibly think whether these things would be something your DD would count among a good experience.

I would recommend a campus that is not stuck out on its own from a town if possible - nice though it is, I have always preferred a real place, not a university bubble. Travel was also important to me - are there options? Are you priced out of being able to use when you need? Are you up for cycling or definitely not?

A PP mentioned Bath: I have had a few dealings with Bath and have found that attractive (also maybe as a future place to work). It can evidence some great, current research into MH and neurological factors so that's promising for its values as well, I hope.

Piggywaspushed · 01/09/2021 09:45

Oh, 2 hours was further than I was imagining you meant. Excluding London, yes, I'd have UEA, Birmingham , Nottingham and Leicester, I guess up to 2 hours away. But nothing decent in commute distance.

A lot of the kids I teach with quite severe MH issues have dropped out at uni , unfortunately. The ones who have stayed proper local have been less likely to.

Bryonyshcmyony · 01/09/2021 09:47

I think a max of 2 hours means you can bring them home for lunch on Sunday and drive back Monday morning if you have to. Easy train route also good for encouraging independence

GnomeDePlume · 01/09/2021 10:01

It is important to manage expectations. Many universities push first year accommodation as being an amazing experience where you will make friends for life.

The reality for both my DDs was that they found the dominant personalities in their respective flats were wasters. For DD1 they were shopaholics aiming to get through the most money in the shortest time. For DD2 they were public school boys let off the leash for the first time determined to absorb as many drugs as possible.

Both made good friends just not in the accommodation.

Ormally · 01/09/2021 10:04

Gnome, yes, agreed. I've had 2 18 year old friends, who went in 2020, change their accommodation fast in the first term because of being the least party-inclined in their flat or house, and it's not an easy process - not least when it was a lockdown period. One changed because they were not of the same page as their flat re. covid, and it sounded quite scary.

AvocadoPlant · 01/09/2021 10:23

@Boulshired I am speaking from personal experience with DD who has mental health issues.

If she were unable to interact with real life to the point that she was in danger of locking herself away in her room then the last thing I would want would be for her to not be at home with her family.

DD has never reached that point and has always enjoyed being with others, but at 18 straight after A levels she was mentally and physically exhausted. A year out (even through Covid restrictions) was absolutely the right decision for her. I believe she would have struggled had she gone straight to university.

Its not just the switch to a completely new way of learning, but also taking responsibility to shop and cook all your own meals, mix with people from potentially very different backgrounds. make new friends from knowing nobody etc.
I believe it takes a huge mental resilience to not just cope with this but actually thrive and learn to enjoy it.

DD has a plan in place at Exeter, and it sounds very supportive and the staff come across as very caring. But with c.19,000 undergraduates we need to be realistic about what they can be expected to provide.

Bryonyshcmyony · 01/09/2021 10:24

I think the party atmosphere and druggy freshers is the worst thing about university

I was also shocked to hear that dd1s uni still had initiation ceremonies for sports clubs which stopped her friend from joining one

LindaEllen · 01/09/2021 10:47

Liverpool Hope University was amazing for me. (Kind of) local, a strong student support team, and the campus is just lovely and very comforting.

It's not the best uni with regards to league tables if that's what you're aiming for - but if not, then it would absolutely be worth a look.

Original poster
FoffFoffFoff · 01/09/2021 11:19

Thanks for all the replies since I checked in last night.

Worrying about all the drugs. DC doesn't drink and due to mental health issues we are keen for them not to drink or take drugs, simply because it makes mental health issues worse. I did look at the quiet accommodation mentioned and it is quite extreme, probably aimed at people who don't drink for religious reasons since you get thrown out for even having alcohol there, or making noise after 10 pm. Definitely going to discuss with DC though.

So many places we are considering have been mentioned, both good and bad. Realistically for us Durham is too far, also sadly Newcastle, ditto UEA.

@Ormally the campus you describe sounds good, can you give a clue? You also mention Bath, but that campus is far out of town with apparently quite poor bus links and slightly too far to walk, according to student review sites. It is a nice campus though, have also been for work. But when I was looking at unis all those decades ago, it was renowned for having a poor students union with few facilities (hopefully that has changed - I don't mean bars and clubs, but back them the counselling seemed to be provided by volunteers and the SU?).

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Piggywaspushed · 01/09/2021 11:30

Bath is not that far from town. It's just a very steep hill! Did you think about York/ Lancaster?

AvocadoPlant · 01/09/2021 11:50

Has Reading been mentioned? DS friend was able to stay in halls for the whole course a few years back and found the support there really good.

Original poster
FoffFoffFoff · 01/09/2021 12:02

@Piggywaspushed

Bath is not that far from town. It's just a very steep hill! Did you think about York/ Lancaster?
Yes, probably more York as nearer. DC did some search online and it came up poorly in some respect: student satisfaction or maybe happiness? Idk, I have been to the campus when I was looking way back when. I remember much duck poo! They do a course that DC would like to do (other places do it also), but has there been an improvement in accommodation? Bath has improved theirs a lot (I guess not the small tower blocks though that I heard were very noisy).
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Original poster
FoffFoffFoff · 01/09/2021 12:07

@AvocadoPlant

Has Reading been mentioned? DS friend was able to stay in halls for the whole course a few years back and found the support there really good.
Dc had not looked at Reading so far, but a quick google suggests they do a suitable course. Seems to have good employability after - that is important to DC. Otherwise DC will spend 3-4 years worrying they will be a failure after university (the anxiety knows no bounds).
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