Mental health - university choices and applications

[FoffFoffFoff]

I found a thread from last year that I was going to resurrect, but decided better form to start my own.

Dc in y12->13, severe anxiety and some depression. Quite young for age (not going to take a year out, that would make the anxiety worse). Social anxiety also.

Assume campus universities better suited than city universities? Dc aiming for RG-type universities.

Please share the names of any universities that your DC with MH issues have found good. Any to avoid?

Preferably in England as don't want DC to be too far away and not be able to easily reach/return if there is a crisis.

Previous thread I read also said to declare these MH issues on UCAS form - will that limit their acceptances to course directors with supportive attitudes? Guess better to rule out unsupportive courses, but would rather know in advance so as not to waste a choice.

Most open days currently online so can't just wander up and ask.

@Bryonyshcmyony sorry I am an idiot

CoffeewithCheese 'Mine has single point of access appointments which then have the advisor signpost you on to whoever can help if required'

That is exactly what my DC would have preferred. When in the depths of autism-related anxiety, the last thing they were capable of was persistently contacting several people in the hopes of finding the right one.

@PlanDeRaccordement

My DD is at St Andrews. It’s a quiet university town on the beach in Scotland. Last year was her first year and she spent it mostly locked down in university accommodation. She found it hard to fight off depression. She did say that the MH team there really were good and tried very hard to support everyone through the pandemic.

She also has SEN, and for that says they are excellent. She is very well settled now and looking forward to her second year which starts soon.

This was one my DC really did want to go to, but when we google how far the journey is etc, it suggests we would be best to fly, so sadly probably too far to send DC. Glad your DD made it through the the tricky last year and is happy to be going back.

Yes. Plenty of academic dcs who love studying and have anxiety really benefit from a year off, part time job, learning to drive etc. Unless they are doing maths a year off can be really beneficial.

And a gap year doesn't mean that they are going to throw away their chance of a successful academic career. I hope you are reiterating this whenever possible.

@FoffFoffFoff

How is your DC with the train? We live in Frances but my DD just went to Cambridge to visit her cousins and now is visiting friends in Coventry. Apparently you can catch a train and get almost anywhere in UK in 6-7hrs.

A year off doesn’t mean not studying but it can also be a foundation and university prep year . A part time creative writing course or learning a language or developing a hobby such as photography or a musical instrument . Plus learning some life skills and enhancing study skills. Or doing a MOOC which universities often view very favourably ; have a look at Futurelearn.

What I have learnt through bitter experience is that success at University is no more than 50% down to academics . It’s also not a race , better to wait a year and be successful than rush at it and end up with a poor degree or no degree at all.

What I have learnt through bitter experience is that success at University is no more than 50% down to academics . It’s also not a race , better to wait a year and be successful than rush at it and end up with a poor degree or no degree at all

100% this

Sorry I've not read the whole thread but what has helped my dd, who suffers with anxiety, was that she's not too far from home. She knows she can jump on a train and be home on an hour and a half.

Travelling distance/time/complexity/cost is important to consider.

When we were doing the uni open day rounds we did visit many distant universities (we are east midlands). All were theoretically accessible but travel time did become a factor in the decision making. DD went to an offer day at Bristol, took around 4 hours with multiple changes. We also flew up to Glasgow. The visits were good reality checks for DD.

Yes, when DD went to visit friends at Durham it took all day to get there on the train from us. The journey was certainly a factor in DDs eventual decision not to go there.

@PlanDeRaccordement

Unfortunately train travel in the UK can be stupendously expensive and also uncoordinated so it can be easy to get between some locations but between others you can end up thinking it would be quicker and easier just to get a boat and sail round the coast.

@GnomeDePlume
Good point on the trains.

@Piggywaspushed

OP don’t be despondent but agree with PPs that since University and careers will throw up lots of challenges, a temporary increase in anxiety because of not going straight to university is likely to be a small price to pay for a year working towards more robust MH with home support. Otherwise the gap year(s) could well be enforced in the middle of her studies.

Visiting and researching universities now won’t be wasted time though.

My Dd (ASD and anxiety as well as processing issues) is just going into year 13 and has been emailing both course admissions tutors and disability services to ask questions - eg whether they will keep reasonable adjustments agreed at school, what accommodation options for students with ASD eg early / late move in or quiet halls etc. Also what tutorial systems they run, if there is any assessed group work. She has had replies from all she has contacted but the thoroughness of the answers is a good way of filtering!

Chilldonaldchill For them, a particular accommodation was perfect (and they could afford to pay the extra for it).

If a student needs a particular type of accommodation (e.g. ensuite or studio) because of their disability the additional cost should be covered. The need for a particular type of accommodation should be included in the DSA needs assessment.

For university owned accommodation and accommodation provided by a 3rd party on behalf of the university (e.g. a unite run university hall) the additional nap cost should not be passed on to the student. For private rentals the additional cost can be reimbursed via DSA.

Thanks for all the posts.

@Snozzlemaid - thank you, yes, this thread has reinforced with us the need for DC to be within easy fetching/returning distance.

@overworkedrobot - thank you for mentioning that more expensive accommodation could be covered - we need to look into the DSA more as DC might qualify. Does the needs assessment take place during year 13 or the summer before university (i.e. will we have already chosen the accommodation before knowing how much financial help there will be for DC?)

@sendsummer - it's difficult as DC is so keen to go and get started

Re. trains - DC likely to be fine with trains, but still don't want to be too far. We are making sure any choices are on direct or only 1 change routes, still within a couple of hours.

@handmademitlove wow I admire your DD's initiative and motivation. I don't know how people know to do these things. I wonder if school (who do know all about DC's problems) should have given us some advice. There has been nothing at all. Not even that it is on the UCAS form. Everything I know, I learnt from this thread. Good luck to your DD, sounds like she is well placed to find the right place for her.

@overworkedrobot

Chilldonaldchill For them, a particular accommodation was perfect (and they could afford to pay the extra for it).

If a student needs a particular type of accommodation (e.g. ensuite or studio) because of their disability the additional cost should be covered. The need for a particular type of accommodation should be included in the DSA needs assessment.

For university owned accommodation and accommodation provided by a 3rd party on behalf of the university (e.g. a unite run university hall) the additional nap cost should not be passed on to the student. For private rentals the additional cost can be reimbursed via DSA.

That's interesting. I suspect that the accommodation was not "necessary" but helpful.

From your posts DD will be eligible for DSA. It is applied for when you apply for finance, although you can apply at a later date if needed. The needs assessment is some time after that, usually before August to allow time to sort support so it is in place for the beginning. So, for most universities you will probably make accommodation choices prior to having the final DSA report, but that isn't a problem. For the majority of first year accommodation it is the university rather than DSA who organise and fund the difference in cost.

DD manages her struggles with information overload! She currently has a 40+ column spreadsheet to help work out what courses to apply for 🙄 but this is what works for her. A control thing I think. Decision making is difficult so she arms herself with random rules to make them easier - not always helpful though! I do think that some unis have been really good in their replies and others have simply pointed her to their website, which I think is quite telling! She sees the difference in their responses and it does affect her opinion of that uni. We have a few open days lined up so it will be interesting to see if the in-person responses match..

@handmademitlove

DD manages her struggles with information overload! She currently has a 40+ column spreadsheet to help work out what courses to apply for 🙄 but this is what works for her. A control thing I think. Decision making is difficult so she arms herself with random rules to make them easier - not always helpful though! I do think that some unis have been really good in their replies and others have simply pointed her to their website, which I think is quite telling! She sees the difference in their responses and it does affect her opinion of that uni. We have a few open days lined up so it will be interesting to see if the in-person responses match..

Strangely given that you say t th is is a thought out control issue this seems a completely illogical approach where her opinion of a uni depends on getting a personalised reply. Surely good websites with up to date info are fine?

Sadly @Bryonyshcmyony mental health problems often mean that logic goes out the window because the sufferer focuses on something they can control, hence what others might regard as ‘random rules’ . They will not be at all random to the Pp daughter .

Sadly this can also cause problems when the young person arrives at the chosen University and finds that the modules on which they have based their choice are no longer available. There might be perfectly good reasons like the specialist in that topic has moved to another university , or it may be due to financial cuts, but this can be very difficult and unsettling for a ‘planner’ who is already at the limits of coping.

It is unexpected things like this that can be a shock and which a year more maturity without the distraction of A levels and conditional offers which bring their own uncertainty which can really help with the university experience.

Yes what if something changes or the person who replied leaves? Things like thst happen all the time at uni, plus modules changing. It seems like really rocky ground to base decisions on

@Bryonyshcmyony

Yes what if something changes or the person who replied leaves? Things like thst happen all the time at uni, plus modules changing. It seems like really rocky ground to base decisions on

And if this seems hard to you as a bystander imagine how much harder it is for the anxious person themselves. They are not doing these things to make things harder for themselves , it is a way to try to cope.

Yes I understand I have an extremely anxious teen myself (has seen camhs). We work a lot on learning about not being able to control things.