Mental health - university choices and applications

[FoffFoffFoff]

I found a thread from last year that I was going to resurrect, but decided better form to start my own.

Dc in y12->13, severe anxiety and some depression. Quite young for age (not going to take a year out, that would make the anxiety worse). Social anxiety also.

Assume campus universities better suited than city universities? Dc aiming for RG-type universities.

Please share the names of any universities that your DC with MH issues have found good. Any to avoid?

Preferably in England as don't want DC to be too far away and not be able to easily reach/return if there is a crisis.

Previous thread I read also said to declare these MH issues on UCAS form - will that limit their acceptances to course directors with supportive attitudes? Guess better to rule out unsupportive courses, but would rather know in advance so as not to waste a choice.

Most open days currently online so can't just wander up and ask.

"Dc in y12->13, severe anxiety and some depression. Quite young for age (not going to take a year out, that would make the anxiety worse). Social anxiety also."

Why would taking a year out make anxiety worse?

My dd attempted Uni last autumn (also young for age, also severe anxiety and in particular social anxiety). Cue multiple panic attacks in first few weeks so bad it caused Cyclical
Vomiting syndrome - she could not hack it being away from home and jacked it in. This was a girl who couldn't talk to strangers and so couldn't ask for anything in a shop/ couldn't give her order to a waitress, had to have me speak on her behalf to GP etc.

Since jacking it in and returning home she has worked in a sweet factory, is now working in a coffee shop and supervises others, and has passed her driving test. She will always have anxiety but is now a functional adult with much more confidence, and I have every reason the believe that she will manage University well when she re starts in Oct 2022 (she will by that time have had two years out - 'working on herself')

I would echo what many others have said about living at home or at least choosing a uni close enough to go home at weekends or in a crisis. The young people I know with MH problems who have successfully completed uni did this.

Obviously you need to persuade your Dd of the wisdom of this & I appreciate she may not want to compromise at this stage.

In terms of specific recommendations, Surrey has been very good for a youngster I know & they can stay in halls beyond first year too if that appeals.

Something that a couple of friend's children have done (who have had some anxiety issues though not severe and whose parents also think they might be a bit young for their age) is an art Foundation year. It's definitely not an easy option but it is free and seems to have been a very good stepping stone to uni. (This assumes your DD having an interest in and ability in art of some sort!) My own child is just starting uni now so I don't have loads of experience but I see a lot of teenagers in my job and I would very much encourage a year out doing something constructive but living at home if there have been MH issues. One of dd's close friends has had terrible problems with anxiety (and some truly dreadful circumstances have added to that in the last year). She's very bright and had 5 good offers but started to be really uncertain about the course and the unis and really struggled to make choices. She has rejected all her offers, is planning to choose a different course and when we saw her recently it was so obvious that a weight had been lifted. She's going to learn to drive, get a job that isn't full time but that will help her stretch her wings, live at home and visit all her friends at various unis for weekends to get a feel for uni life. I think it will be really good for her.

@LaMagdalena

I think these things can vary so much between departments at universities - someone above mentioned their bad experience at Sheffield University, but for balance, I was in a small department there, I knew my tutors well and felt very supported by them. I didn't feel like a number at all.

I was the one who went there had multiple friends who left and transferred out of there, staff were bullies and the teaching was lackluster

Well okay but there are thousands of students at Sheffield University and some will like it and some won't. I've made the point that it can be a different experience depending on the course.

@LaMagdalena

Well okay but there are thousands of students at Sheffield University and some will like it and some won't. I've made the point that it can be a different experience depending on the course.

Imagine coming on here just to disrespect and misunderstand the experience many have received at the the hands of UOS please politely do one.

Saying do one is never polite...

When were you there themepark?

So my positive experience is irrelevant then? And trying to add balance is 'disrespect'. Okaaay then...

No, it just doesn't feel like that is what you were doing. La Magadalena was also trying to add balance and you told her to 'do one'. HE is not AIBU.

Of course that is not to diminish your experience,as it may be quite recent. The same thing often happens on here when people say , eg Bristol , is and for MH issues. It causes aggro, and I think OP doesn't need that , tbh.

@LaMagdalena

Well okay but there are thousands of students at Sheffield University and some will like it and some won't. I've made the point that it can be a different experience depending on the course.

I would second that on DD's behalf. She has received a lot of support.

My only worry is that for the next year or two universities are going to be awash with first years. This will have impact on the support available for struggling students. Not just because of resources being stretched thin but because universities won't have a vested interest in keeping an over supply of students on courses.

For OP's DC it is essential that they are able to actively seek support from the outset. The support won't come looking for them.

From DD's experience be cautious of joint courses. University departments are notorious for not talking to each other at the best of times. When a student is struggling is not the best of times.

@FoffFoffFoff

York has fully catered accommodation. It appears to be a really friendly campus with a good level of support.

If you don't go for fully catered they have a weekly meal night for all students in various colleges.

This is really tough. Universities and the NHS mental services proximal to large universities are overstretched and mostly unable to provide intensive support. Relying on individual contacts as indicative of support at any university is risky. Your DD’s anxiety may be improved by a positive experience living away from home but as you fear the opposite could happen. IMO some halfway step for her for a year would be best but she needs to be persuaded that it would enhance her career prospects. Art foundation sounds a great idea for the right person, even somebody heading into a STEM career. Otherwise something like a programming online course with a part-time job. All would look good on a CV.
BTW Lancaster is another campus university that has n’t been mentioned.

Oh no! Point of order send, I mentioned it twice

You can't just walk onto an Art foundation course. You have to have a full portfolio for a start. And some talent.

I think it's worth looking at how easy it is to navigate through the support services maze within the university. Mine has single point of access appointments which then have the advisor signpost you on to whoever can help if required and produce you a clear action plan of who is going to do what and when. I find them a bit annoying as I've usually tracked down who I need to speak to but need to do the initial appointment to be passed on down the line - but I imagine as a less assertive younger person (as a SEN parent I've learnt to navigate the impenetrable) they would be very very useful.

And obviously even within a specific university - departments vary. My course is very small (there's about 30 of us still standing going into final year - a few dropped back and took last year out because of Covid) and has quite a small teaching staff so people tend to notice very rapidly if someone is out of sorts - both among the students and the staff alike. If I was doing a course where there are 100 on there I think it would be different.

I'm still 50/50 if I'm doing my third year this year or having a year out to get my own anxiety and mental health back under control - but I know a lot of my current triggers are Covid measures and screaming yellow and black signs and "rules" I might do "wrong" - waiting to see how school pans out the next couple of weeks for my kids before I make any decisions there. But that's the advantage I have being an old fart - I've learnt how best to cohabit inside my head with my slightly ropey mind over the years.

On the Sheffield situation - I had an interview and by about 2 minutes into it I decided there was no way I wanted to go there - I just got the ultimate vibes that it was not going to be a great fit for me - and I don't think I would have coped with the commute to be fair - however well regarded the course was (Plus the full stop at the end of their letterhead winds me up to irrational levels - but that's a personal peeve)

Thanks for still trying to help.
Have been a bit despondent as likely MH issues now seems a good predictor of MH issues at university.

Lancaster looks great, but bit far, given advice to keep DC within a couple of hours max.

Art is never going to happen for DC unfortunately. Ditto computer coding.

Although I have been told off advised not to seek out individual experiences, dare I ask about Birmingham?
What would be good is the knowledge that if DC goes to X university and lives in X accommodation they will be fine, but obviously I know that is not possible and totally unrealistic. I need to drag the info out of individual people on the telephone (which is hard as I am a procrastinating phonecall phobic - I know, get a grip, before anyone says it).

@Seeline

You can't just walk onto an Art foundation course. You have to have a full portfolio for a start. And some talent.

Oh I know. I think I did mention needing talent. This year I think they have been a bit more lenient regarding portfolios because students haven't been able to access schools/art studios as much but obviously that will go back to normal. I wasn't suggesting it as an "easier" year but maybe as a transition year - if it suits the op's DD which it might not.

My DD is at St Andrews. It’s a quiet university town on the beach in Scotland. Last year was her first year and she spent it mostly locked down in university accommodation. She found it hard to fight off depression. She did say that the MH team there really were good and tried very hard to support everyone through the pandemic.

She also has SEN, and for that says they are excellent. She is very well settled now and looking forward to her second year which starts soon.

@FoffFoffFoff

Thanks for still trying to help. Have been a bit despondent as likely MH issues now seems a good predictor of MH issues at university.

Lancaster looks great, but bit far, given advice to keep DC within a couple of hours max.

Art is never going to happen for DC unfortunately. Ditto computer coding.

Although I have been told off advised not to seek out individual experiences, dare I ask about Birmingham?
What would be good is the knowledge that if DC goes to X university and lives in X accommodation they will be fine, but obviously I know that is not possible and totally unrealistic. I need to drag the info out of individual people on the telephone (which is hard as I am a procrastinating phonecall phobic - I know, get a grip, before anyone says it).

This isn't my story so I'm uncomfortable sharing too much but I know of someone at Birmingham with quite severe MH issues. They took at least two years out before going. For them, a particular accommodation was perfect (and they could afford to pay the extra for it). They would say (this is second hand info but I'm close to the parents) that the support they've received has been fabulous and that they can't fault any of it. However the reality is that I don't know how much support they've had to access whilst there and they seem to be making an excellent recovery as well so definitely needing less than they would have done at the beginning. But they have been very very happy with it all.

Another one here who would advocate for a gap year. My DS dropped out of Y12 with anxiety/panic, changed schools and then his Y13 was cut short by the pandemic. He was always going to apply to unis post-a levels anyway, but now- although having had offers from good unis, he is poised to take a SECOND gap year - like @LimitIsUp. I couldn't be more pleased. He'll get a job, do driving lessons, do UCAS all over again, sort his meds out and, I'm sure, set off for uni this time next year, aged 20, and WAY better placed to cope with it. OP - why do you think that a gap year will make anxiety worse? It might temporarily, as your DC sees their friends going off, but it can have huge advantages for kids who need their confidence built up.

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Then she needs to learn to be able to deviate from the pathway.

[post edited by MNHQ]

Now what I've said makes no sense 😕

We visited Birmingham recently. Very nice campus. Its a very large university, though. Good for sport. I'd say it seemed very lively. I was surprised how far the accommodation was from teaching facilities, and how large a lot of the accommodation blocks were. Students I have taught who have gone there have really liked it. Excellent transport links is a bonus.

@Bryonyshcmyony

Now what I've said makes no sense 😕

So sorry!

Can I just leave it at DC is academic, loves studying and is really looking forward to studying at university.