University 2019/20 intake: vacations, vaccinations, va-va-voom restored and virtually into their third year

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

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The home visit was definitely a good decision. She couldn't get to grips with her dissertation last week, but has made a start on it. Unfortunately the data she has been sent is rubbish and doesn't add up.

I had suggested that she learned how to use excel during her gap year, but she said that she would learn if she needed it, and now she needs to know how to use it. Fortunately for her I use excel for work so I can show her how to use it and manipulate data.

She has informed her supervisors about her issues, and both have been supportive. She is also getting support with some talking therapy for her panic attacks and anxiety issues.

While she is at home I can make sure that if she drops off that she doesn't sleep for several hours (her CFS therapist said that she should have no more than 20 minutes - half an hour).

Hopefully, having a kick start on her dissertation at home will make it easier for her when she is back at university.

I see. Not even thought about graduation. Outfits? Is it that fancy? I’d envisaged it would just be DH and I and possibly DD2 at any ceremony. Gosh I’m glad I got the head’s up on this thread.
DD2 passéd her driving test today so I’m enjoying this celebration at the moment but thanks @NewModelArmyMayhem18 I’ll be on to asking DD1 about graduation tomorrow!

@bigTillyMint just googled as it’s quicker than asking DD. Provisional dates 27/6-1/7.

@chocolatenutcase I hope your DD continues to improve. Is the landlord OK with her having a cat?

@Benjispruce5 re Googling - thanks! I wonder when they will give dates for each degree course. It seems so soon after they are due to finish - DD hasn’t had her BSc graduation from 2020 yet! Infact she is going straight to MSc graduation in April!

Glad to hear @chocolatenutcase and @RampantIvy DDs are feeling a bit better and back to uni. This last part is really gruelling.

@simbobs, how are things going with your DC?

www.durham.ac.uk/about-us/professional-services/ceremonies/about/events/summer-congregation-2022-/

@RampantIvy yes she checked with the landlord and he was happy about it. Her housemates were really happy too and I think they might get visits from friends to "see the cat". She's a rescue cat and doesn't go out so just sleeps a lot and curls up on a lap. Stroking her is very soothing in times of stress.

I agree. Pets are good stress busters.

DS would love a house pet!

A few weeks ago, a friend’s family visited university and had to bring their dog. DS and his girlfriend dog-sat while DS’s friend and his family went out for the day. He really enjoyed it, he sent some pics and it did look very strange to see a dog in the house!

How lovely for your DD to be allowed to have a pet cat @chocolatenutcase. There was an article in The Times a few months ago about how we should adopt the 'here and now' approach to life that cats have (It was called 'Be more cat!'), and how it would impact (positively) our mental health. I get it. We can learn a lot from our furry friends. I'm sure your DD's housemates will benefit too!

Good to hear that your DD's time at home has proved productive @RampantIvy. Hopefully now she's made a start on her dissertation, it will flow.

UEA graduation ceremonies are mid to end of July, with three years of graduates to 'process' in that time-frame!

Thanks for asking @bigTillyMint. DS has just celebrated his 21st birthday and seems happy in himself, though neither studying nor working. He says that he will restart in September, but who knows. He wants to stay where he is rather than come home either way. DD's CFS proving life changing. There is no way I can see her finishing her degree despite being so close to the end. She is virtually bed bound, despite only starting to suffer with this only 9 months ago, and she thinks that it has affected her brain. On the subject of pets, it is our dog that gives her the most pleasure in life.

Oh gosh @simbobs, that sounds awful - your poor DD Sounds like your DS is ok atm though. Very difficult time for you

@Benjispruce5, I text DS with your dates and he has checked online and has the time and date, thinks they register in April

Oh cripes @bigTillyMint will ask DD.
So sorry to hear that @simbobs it’s so worrying that these things can just come on. Was it following a virus/Covid?

@bigTillyMint DD’s is 28/6.

Was nice of her to tell us

@Benjispruce5 DSs is 1/7!

Meanwhile DD somehow got the wrong date for her MSc graduation - apparently it will be in July so hope it’s not the 1st!

@Benjispruce5, no. She had covid in 2020 and this came on 5 months later. If, as suspected, it is an autoimmune condition it is unlikely to go away. They think it a result of prolonged stress resulting from undiagnosed adhd. She has now had this diagnosis and is awaiting assessment for medication. That may help. Needless to say that we were completely unaware of this. No outward signs were shown and the internal struggles she misinterpreted and kept to herself. I am so pleased to see that many others are thriving.

That’s so tough, for you all. I hope she can improve with medication and I hope you can get support for yourself. Being a parent is hard enough with the usual stresses and strains. Sorry you’re all going through this.

Oh gosh @simbobs, I hadn’t realised that stress could cause CFS, but I guess it’s like rheumatoid arthritis which my DGodM suffered from - so sorry it’s possibly due to undiagnosed ADHD that she was trying to cope with

@RampantIvy, do you know the cause of your DDs CFS? Only if you want to say, obviously.

Unfortunately not @bigTillyMint. DD is ridiculously stressed just now as she can't get to grips with her dissertation. She doesn't even know what to put as a title and doesn't know waht is expected of her because the topic is so vague. She also got sent two excel spreadsheets with data that doesn't even correlate.

The other girl doing a similar dissertation was given her details before Christmas. DD got hers last week.

Oh gosh @RampantIvy - having been through 2 dissertations with DD, I know they can be tricky with varying levels of support. My only advice is for her to take any advice her diss tutor offers and be appreciative even if they aren’t seeming to do their job particularly well. Getting on the wrong side of the diss tutor doesn’t end well as DD going to her cost

@RampantIvy that sounds so unfair on your DD who needs more support. I hop she gets to grips with it. Sometimes it is the first step that is the hardest to take.

She has an online meeting with her supervisor tomorrow and will hopefully be able to ask a few questions and get some answers.

The problem is she can't start her dissertation because she doesn't know what she is going to write about.

@RampantIvy, she is doing a stem subject?

DD and DS did/doing Humanities subjects and just needed a tough title initially to be tied down as the diss took shape. Don’t know if that’s similar for STEM?

Rough not tough