Oxbridge 2021: another 6 months of fretting

[DahliaMacNamara]

Will they make the grades? How will grades be awarded anyway? What the hell are Cambridge up to with that nasty little clause?

@cantkeepawayforever

Sneaking on here. DD has an offer for Cambridge, and after pretty much a year of surprisingly robust mental health has absolutely hit the wall and is in a fairly bad way....

Cantkeepawayforever, DD's mental health also seems to have crashed post-Oxbridge offer. I think the intensity of the process was keeping some other demons at bay. Hope your DD feels better soon.

Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences, your sympathy and advice. t is good to know that we are not alone in this.

DD applied for a course where every university requires submission of a serious quantity of (different) work before offering, and so the whole of last term was intense. I was expecting a crash, but not perhaps such a very deep low of MH.

She has started to agree to reaching out to some of the support available at school, and has made tentative first steps to do so. I have some knowledge of what the next steps they could offer are, as i have contacted the school myself. It's not 'a plan', but it is a very narrow bridge across the abyss. Perhaps.

giveusashout.org/

Cantkeepawayforever Consider using this service. We're sharing the details widely at work.

Delighted that the Cambridge thing has settled. I don’t find the in-house Uni lawyers very good. It’s not their fault. It’s structural......

Still, now we have to wait for info about how grades will be awarded!

I don’t find the in-house Uni lawyers very good.

That really is quite funny NJW.

I didn’t mean it as a joke!

No, I'm sure you didn't.

Ok. It’s a free country

(Not really a free country any more - we cannot leave home without checking a statutory instrument and Health Protection (Coronavirus, International Travel) (England) (Amendment) (No. 7) Regulations 2021 only just issued is in force at 4am on Monday - probably we had more freedom even during world war II).

Well when you put it like that.......maybe not doffing ones cap to them is an offence as well by now....

My DS is on a zoom with a bunch of others doing his course next year in Oxford. A fair few are coming having deferred places from last year. Just confirms what someone thought about fewer places being offered this year.

Same for dd, @Chocomel. She had a zoom call last week with some potential freshers from her college and a good proportion of them were deferred entry from 2020.

DS1 really enjoyed getting to know the other freshers in his college after offers had been made last year. It's one of the positives of the current situation, I'm not sure in normal circumstances they would be so inclined invest so much time socialising online. It really helped him to have made friends before he arrived at Oxford.

Don't know if DD has been on any Zoom calls, but she's been chatting online with others applying for the same course for a good while now, though obviously the numbers have dropped dramatically in the last month. It's good to think she'd have some familiarity with others before she arrived.

This was their first zoom. They've been quite active on WhatsApp since the 12/1. I think it will make the first term so much easier. I'm excited for them. (And a little bit jealous!).

I barely dare think about it in case things are not back to normal(ish) by the autumn. When I told dsis that dd had got a place, she just said, “I doubt she’ll be going - it’ll all be online for the next few years”

I have to say Irma, that your DSis sounds a piece of work (assuming this is the same DSis whose comment you relayed on offer day).

@IrmaFayLear - I think that's a bit pessimistic tbh. It seems likely that some, if not all, students will be back for Trinity. So I'd suggest Michaelmas will be ok-ish for the new freshers.

Dare to get just a little bit excited I'd say 😊

Yes, I admit dsis’s congratulations were distinctly unhearty...

Still, it does make me worry as dd has already started salivating over the societies she may join.

I think your sister and my mother are soulmates

@cantkeepawayforever really sorry to hear that. If she's open to it, seeing the GP is a good first step. From personal experience I'd also recommend seeking out a private practitioner - a clinical psychologist who specialises in teens. Many are doing Zoom consultations. It's pricey (the one I used for my younger DS was £100 an hour - we're in the south east) but he helped so much, not least in getting DS seen by CAMHS. 18 months later and DS is feeling so much better. It's horrible to go through as a parent. Hope you're bearing up.

Goodness this thread took a long time to find. I am posting this so I can find it with ease next time. DD's offer is for A A A. It sounds like we best rock up with A A A A (which I think she can achieve with a reasonable amount of effort).

Thanks again to all. Today she has got up, put on makeup and is currently on the 'offer holder day' online for her college. It feels as if things are inching ever so slowly forward, though it still feels as if every tentative step could be on the bridge forward or into the depths on either side.

Thanks to this thread and elsewhere, I also have a clear 'menu' of possible sources of help and support, which is keeping me grounded too.

Offer holder days and Zoom calls? I really need to check whether DD has any of those. She’s still pretending it will all go away if she ignores her emails, I think.

How did other people’s kids find their fellow students to sort out group chats?

I meant to say - that sounds much more positive for your DD, Cantkeepaway