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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Oxbridge 2021: another 6 months of fretting

771 replies

DahliaMacNamara · 01/02/2021 10:55

Will they make the grades? How will grades be awarded anyway? What the hell are Cambridge up to with that nasty little clause?

OP posts:
Hoghgyni · 15/02/2021 18:12

Last year various college & subject whatsapp groups were set up. DD spent almost every Saturday night during lockdown from March onwards with her new friends, with more joining once results were out. The college group was invaluable, as they knew each other when they arrived.

cantkeepawayforever · 15/02/2021 18:13

@FlyingSquid

I meant to say - that sounds much more positive for your DD, Cantkeepaway
It is. I am scared that the non-structure of half term will cause all of this to evaporate, but today - today is better.
Chilldonaldchill · 16/02/2021 09:55

@cantkeepawayforever I hope half term is ok and that there's positive news about school returns next week.
DD also had her offer holders zoom (with lots and lots of students) and has been told there will be a subject specific one.
Unlike others sound to be feeling, she's not particularly keen to start chatting and "meeting" fellow students before they start - she'd rather wait till they're actually there.

Lingle · 16/02/2021 10:31

DS1 is interested in engaging with others from Churchill - (he's Natsci but I guess it's not subject-specific?)
is he likely to have missed some sort of invitation?

He is also struggling to figure out the 2nd choice between Durham and Manchester as Durham, (unlike Manchester) does offer NatSci but we are struggling to figure out how it works on a week by week basis and fear that it may be a slightly "cobbled together" degree.... but if Manchester than it's maths and physics only..... any pointers gratefully received.

IrmaFayLear · 16/02/2021 10:39

Dd feels the same about meeting others. It's sort of spoilers! Also, what if they all look awful?! Or, at least, if you don't exactly gel.

Chilldonaldchill · 16/02/2021 10:59

@IrmaFayLear

Dd feels the same about meeting others. It's sort of spoilers! Also, what if they all look awful?! Or, at least, if you don't exactly gel.
I'm glad dd's not the only one.
LaundryFairy · 16/02/2021 11:34

DS is also not keen on meeting in zoom before heading to uni - he finds making friends hard enough in person never mind via laptop camera.

He has recently found out that the other history applicant from his school also got an offer - he is very happy that there will be a friendly face on his course. Also, one good friend has an offer for philosophy so that will help too.

Original poster
DahliaMacNamara · 16/02/2021 11:35

I remember years ago, after results and accommodation allocations, DS was put in contact with his future housemates and didn't take to them at all. It was with great trepidation that we drove him down and abandoned our pfb in a bleak room in a house full of unpleasant strangers. Of course, in real life they were perfectly nice, and in fact he ended up living with some of them for years, even after graduating.

OP posts:
Lingle · 16/02/2021 13:35

so much of their lives is full of these "spoilers" compared to, say, my mum's generation or even mine.

advantages and disadvantages!

BilberryBaggins · 16/02/2021 13:55

Dd hasn't had any zoom things sent through, but I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing.

cantkeepawayforever · 16/02/2021 15:24

DD's thing yesterday was a 'transmit info from college to offer holders' thing, not an opportunity to meet each other.

Apparently there are subject-specific ones over the coming weeks. As she's applied for a small subject, she's rather hoping there is more interaction in that one.

Hoghgyni · 16/02/2021 15:38

Even if they don't normally "do" Facebook, it's worth getting them to search for college or subject offer holder groups. They can join and lurk if they don't want to get involved just yet. These tend to morph into WhatsApp groups and Zoom socials.

sandybayley · 16/02/2021 15:42

I'd second what @Hoghgyni says.

DS1 hates FB with a passion but used it to connect with offer holders from his college and subject. He held back a bit until he met his offer but once that happened zoom socialising took off. I'd really encourage your DC to try it. It has really helped DS1 feel part of his communities when at home for the first part of this term and even now he's back (when not everyone else is).

RunnersTipple · 16/02/2021 15:43

@Lingle that is interesting as my DS is also wavering between Durham snd Manchester for second choice for Natsci/physics respectively (although he doesn't actually have a Manchester offer yet, the interview was only yesterday!). He is quite keen in adding a year abroad which is an option for Manchester. Still no news from Imperial...

Lingle · 16/02/2021 16:28

Runners I have told him to write to Durham and ask how it would work in practice.

The info available is too much along the lines of the "it's so flexible and friendly" generalities.

My dh's Uni runs an undergrad degree with the same name as one of the only-at-Oxbridge degrees. It has worked really well but they modelled it relatively closely on the Oxford one because they knew it would attract precisely those candidates who would have looked at the Oxford one first, liked the look of it, and then wanted to stick with that idea if they were not one of the lucky few to get an offer.

pepperaunt · 16/02/2021 16:53

Quick question from parents who didn’t go to Uni in the U.K.: DDs offer from C is AAAA and Durham is AAA. That’s essentially the same so no good for insurance, right?

Chilldonaldchill · 16/02/2021 18:02

@pepperaunt

Quick question from parents who didn’t go to Uni in the U.K.: DDs offer from C is AAAA and Durham is AAA. That’s essentially the same so no good for insurance, right?
I suppose it depends how likely they are to miss the 4th grade. So they could get A A A C and get into Durham but not Cambridge. But I assume that's a relatively unlikely scenario?
pepperaunt · 16/02/2021 19:22

@Chilldonaldchill we hope it’s unlikely😁

Lingle · 19/02/2021 09:28

Churchill open day today. I guess we would all have been driving down to Cambridge!

We are very much trying to celebrate the awesomeness of having got the offer as an achievement in itself irrespective of what happens next.

IrmaFayLear · 19/02/2021 09:39

Same here.

When ds went to Oxbridge I said that even if he got thrown out after one day he could always say he went there !

Lingle · 19/02/2021 09:54

exactly Irma - it's the only way to be (not that I always manage it).
All our kids will be able to say for the rest of their lives that they "got in" :)

NotJackieWeaver · 19/02/2021 13:15

The open morning was rather inspirational and I now really really want him to make the grade and get the place as I think he'd have a blast there. He's so close!

The speaker said that Churchill made 1.15 offers for each place and that some colleges had made even fewer offers per place - essentially 1 for each place. He said that Churchill recruits very actively from the "winter pool" and that this year they had taken advantage of the excellence of that pool to scoop up outstanding candidates.

He confirmed again that Churchill will not in any circumstances withdraw an offer if the candidate makes the grade. The worst case scenario is a conversation inviting some candidates to defer. So as I said above, Badly Done those university lawyers who drafted that clause and caused all this stress - but I spend enough time mopping up after Universities to know that anyone will do poor work if you manage them badly enough and give them sufficiently mixed signals. So the blame lies with those instructing them.

goodbyestranger · 19/02/2021 14:25

I don't think there's any blame to apportion NJW. You seem to think that Cambridge employs second rate lawyers, is collectively too dim to know how to instruct properly and fails to proof read before using the clause in the admissions offer. The purpose of the clause wasn't to avoid offer holder stress. I'm sure that the clause met the brief exactly. It didn't have everyone falling about getting frantic; plenty read it in the way it was intended and didn't go massively over the top.

NotJackieWeaver · 19/02/2021 16:17

"It didn't have everyone falling about getting frantic;"

Perhaps on the planet Zog an article in the mainstream newspapers with a headline saying that Cambridge is planning to withdraw offers, with all the associated social media attention, as documented on here and elsewhere, then hastily contradicted by a letter from a Cambridge prof saying "of course what we wrote is not what we mean" is all fine and dandy, but back here on Earth I can assure you that this will be considered a "someone had blundered" situation.

goodbyestranger · 19/02/2021 16:39

Well I managed to stay calm, along with a few parents of offer holders and misc. other people incl parents of current students like myself who read the clause. And we read it exactly as explained by Cambridge once the papers decided to milk a story out of it. Cambridge didn't contradict, it explained. Slightly different and probably necessary, given the heightened sensibilities of the more delicate parents of Oxbridge offer holders as exemplified here on MN. I see no blunder whatever. People who do their blood pressure a favour by reading stuff in a sensible way and in context.