Oxbridge 2021: another 6 months of fretting

[DahliaMacNamara]

Will they make the grades? How will grades be awarded anyway? What the hell are Cambridge up to with that nasty little clause?

At graduations the money request comes from the VC right at the start (this time directed to the graduands, who usually laugh).

To be fair, it's arguably a reasonable cause, but I don't anticipate a building being named after me anytime soon.

Maybe a Goodbyestranger Port-a-cabin?

No large entry fee involved I can assure you goodbye. Probably explains why DD's college doesn't have great wealth!
I anticipate a charge at DD's (C) college. The bursar's team comes across as far more professional and polished than at DD's college.

@SandyBayley I've been to a "normal" college formal (Feb 2020) with DH, ie not a specific parents' one. Lots of the students had non-college visitors so we didn't stick out too much.

DD is very frugal and had the foresight to save wine bottles which had received the official college sticker (corkage) so she asked us to go to her room first with the wine that she asked us to provide. She decanted it expertly into her 2 bottles & off we went. I have to admit to a certain parental pride at my DD's ability to manage such matters as quaffing port and wine decanting without spilling a drop.

Pre-Covid, anyone gaining a 1st in part 1s had the opportunity to recite the grace in Latin, for which they would be coached beforehand. DD is heartily relieved that she never got her chance. However, some of her friends did so they all showed up for that meal to support them. I'll have to find out if she still qualifies.

Odd moment of the week so far: I was covering a class yesterday. I asked some of the kids in there what their older siblings were now up to. One girl told me that her DB was now studying Phys Nat Sci at DD's college - OMG, DD could end up being his supervisor !

@ofteninaspin at DD's C college there was a parents' lunch in March of year 1. It was £25 per head back in 2018. The Master was there and told us how it cost on average £17.2k to educate each student per year.

At drop-offs we have always been invited to have a cup of tea and meet the money people. DD sees right through it and says they should just swipe your card/have a bucket for donations. To be fair to the college, when they find out what I do, they don't ask for money but offer promotional literature that I can take into school to plug the college. I'm more than happy to do that.

Graduation was far from the usual event this year, but they did manage to get plugs in for cash as we waited to watch on the big screen. Judging by some of the seriously expensive vehicles around, I think other parents might be able to help. DD received a bursary throughout due to household income and they have always been very fair & kind to us.

Malbefan I've had my van since 2006, and it has regularly been sniffed at by the sorts of parents who drive seriously expensive vehicles on drop off days, I think in part because a number of Devon stone walls have collided with my car, giving it quite a bashed effect. I was waved out of the way by one very officious mama while I was attempting a 27 point turn in Queen's Lane in Oxford one year but that kind of stuff doesn't work with me, so 27 became 127 and counting. Fortunately for her on point about 154 the porter came out and told me that I could park up in the Principal's place, to ease traffic congestion which by then was backing up the whole of the High St. Very gratifyingly, by that stage mama was red faced with fury at me.

Goodbye that is epic! It's a shame you are now so far removed from school action. There are a few officious mamas with sprogs in y7 who park up at least 45 minutes before the end of school on the double yellows in the top carpark in their humungous "luxury" cars. When I dared to challenge them in the past, I got into trouble from the then Head. Does my head in!

What are they doing hanging around for that long? Current HT probably wouldn't object to you telling them to arrive at a sensible time though :)

In fact one bash wasn't a stone wall along the lanes but the left hand front school gate as I turned in to collect DS3 after school to take him to his Oxford interview scheduled for the following day. The tyre blew spectacularly as well so he got to the college at midnight (and despite our surname which had historically guaranteed late afternoon interviews, they flipped it and put him on at the crack of dawn). Anyhow, the point which is nearly lost is that my removal from school action is probably benefitting the school estate!

Hello everyone! Just checking in to see how all the offspring are doing? We live reasonably close to Cambridge so I've seen DS a couple of times, and am taking him out for lunch next week (combining trip with some Christmas shopping). He seems very happy, lots of work but still plenty of time for play and making new friends. I hope yours are all getting on brilliantly.

Hi! Mine got a bit of a shock, essay-wise, but seems to have found his rhythm. We never hear from him and live too far away for visits. Thankfully (I imagine due to Covid) all chapel services are broadcast live on YouTube, so I see him sing in the choir a lot. He'll probably not realise I do it, but I tune in several times a week just to watch for him. It's hard having the kids away from home, and but I'm pleased they are happy and doing their things.

DD is very happy and busy at Oxford. We haven't been to see her yet, but the term is so short it seems she's barely left and now it's time to think about the Christmas break. She seems to be coping well with the workload so far. It sounds hefty but not overwhelming.

I know what you mean about the short terms. It does seem like DD has hardly been there (despite missing her terribly) and is now due home in 2 weeks. I'm so relieved she has settled in well - so well in fact we barely hear from her! I remember a comment about a 3 hour phone call that @goodbyestranger was lucky enough to have with her DD and felt incredibly envious! I'm lucky to get 15 mins once a fortnight (if that!)
It does sound very full on though and DD who is a huge procrastinator has had a couple of very late nights finishing essays. But, I also hear they are all in the same boat and I think DD gets comfort from the fact that her friends are equally overloaded and they are in it together in a way. We did do a flying visit one Sunday (just a quick Sunday lunch as that was all she could squeeze us in for in amongst her social life 😆) and she seemed so happy and enjoying the life and independence. Nevertheless she did say she's looking forward to the holidays so that she can actually read a book for pleasure instead of one specific to her course, which is all she's had time for.

Lovely to hear about everyone....
DD is very happy and very busy. She's found the essays hard work but enjoyable mostly. She's doing lots of sport and clubbing and socialising!
I think she's missed us a little bit but she's not offered to come home! We get a phone call weekly for half an hour or so. We've seen her once and I'm going to a concert too which should be good.
My main problem now is that dc2 had visited and wants to apply next year 😬
I'm glad everyone sounds as though they're getting on ok...

Great to hear how well peoples DCs are getting on. DD is working very hard at Cambridge and has bought a used bicycle to help her run between the science buildings. She’s been adopted by the next staircase over and they seem like a lovely group. Although we live fairly close (London) we were informed not to expect her home until end of term. 2 weeks and counting!

Really good to read everyone’s updates. DS (history Oxford) had a pretty rough start. Freshers week was utterly overwhelming, but he has been slowly finding his feet since then. Now has a small group of friends who meet up for meals, board games and other non-drinking socialising. Work is going well! He has shocked us (and himself) with very positive comments from tutors. As a state comprehensive student, hopefully all imposter syndrome worries have been put to bed.

As for me, l love having the time alone with DH, but at the same time I miss DS’ company terribly. The three of us get along very well and make each other laugh so much. So I’m looking forward to Christmas, but I know that there may be some awkwardness around this first gear change from term time. We shall see soon enough.

Name changed but DD at Cambridge.
She's enjoying herself very much and working very hard. She seems to have found a good group of friends and is throwing herself into everything. I think she'll sleep for days when she arrives home for Christmas!

Happy at Churchill.
Seems like there is a week at end of term with no work?

I miss him more now the relief has worn off

Did anyone else's come home with a bonus Christmas present? Picked up DS Saturday, tested positive for Covid on Sunday.

Oh, no. I hope it lands lightly on your household. DD has been back just over a week, and happily no signs of Covid so far. She's getting a bit stir crazy now, as most of her friends are lingering in their university towns until the last possible minute, which she absolutely understood, but now she's worried about them bringing back the same grim present as @RunnersTipple's DS, and consequently being out of commission.

Oh no! Our DS came home on Saturday. He had stayed after term for a concert that was cancelled because one of the choir tested positive. He's Neg for now, thankfully. If he'd had a positive PCR, we wouldn't have been able to fly him home for Christmas at all.