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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Oxbridge 2021: another 6 months of fretting

771 replies

DahliaMacNamara · 01/02/2021 10:55

Will they make the grades? How will grades be awarded anyway? What the hell are Cambridge up to with that nasty little clause?

OP posts:
halulat · 26/09/2021 12:20

Seems to depend on the course. Ours starts Thursday at 1.00 so travelling down Wednesday. All getting a bit too close now.

ThisIsMyID · 26/09/2021 12:23

My DS went over yesterday because choir starts today. All seems to be going smoothly. The same can't be said for his brother who was supposed to be on the same flight but couldn't find his passport.....

NiamCinnOir · 26/09/2021 13:44

I’m dropping dd off on 5th October too, also feeling concerned about fuel situation Confused

Original poster
DahliaMacNamara · 26/09/2021 13:59

DD is due to arrive a week tomorrow. There should be enough fuel in the second car to get her there, as I normally only use it for pootling around locally and it's fairly full atm. It's a pretty elderly vehicle, so not the first choice of transport, but it should keep going for at least another week or so(!). We can get to and from Oxford in an afternoon, so we won't need a full tank. DH will have run out of fuel in the other car by the weekend, but we're hoping things will have calmed down by then.

OP posts:
FlyingSquid · 27/09/2021 07:46

DD turns out to be utterly terrified. And with the online ab initio course starting today,she hasn’t completed the pre-reading or bought the right textbook in time (missed an email). Uh oh.

We’re all a bit… um… challenged here when it comes to organisation and admin.

merryhouse · 30/09/2021 17:18

S2 safely deposited in decent-sized room though appears to have the conference key as he can't get into the gyp Grin

Realised this morning he hasn't got his passport; but don't expect he'll need it this term. He's messaged to say he forgot his mouse mat, and he went off to buy a clothes airer and an extension lead. Possibly regretting not bringing the soft case for his tuba (it was a long walk from the car park).

I made them each a box of flapjack and a tub of butter tablet Halo

S1 asked him - again - what he was most looking forward to. Still not sure. Possibly the real proper independence (he hastily added that it's not that we don't let him do things...)

Feels slightly concerned that he's not done any proper work for nearly five months Grin Has read significant chunks of the recommended texts though. Lectures are to be on-line this term, made available on the timetabled schedule: he's planning to follow that most of the time.

merryhouse · 30/09/2021 17:28

I had an unusual dream the other day. (Was it the zombie army or the fact that I was half-way competently wielding a projectile weapon that put it firmly into the fantasy genre?)

Woke up wondering what on earth was hiding in my subconscious to make it think I would do such a terrible thing (we're talking almost Deplorable Word stakes, but crossed with a more personal aspect; only slightly mollified by the immediacy of the combat situation).

Then I realised.

I may be all laid-back and relaxed about our forthcoming empty nest, but my subconscious is letting me know that as far as it's concerned I would, without a moment's thought, do something Hideous that destroys many lives, the entire structure of the world as I know it, and my own happiness and sense of self, in order to keep my children safe.

I mean, I'm pretty sure it's deluded, but it's quite impressive nonetheless.

Jalfrezi · 01/10/2021 19:01

And the day is nearly here!!! DD goes to O tomorrow. Can't say she is all set, as she is clearly the Queen of procrastinators when it comes to packing. No idea if it will all fit in the car until I can actually gauge how much she's packed! Currently there is just a huge pile of mess everywhere.
We have a nice mid afternoon arrival time which is perfect as we're less than 1.5 hrs away. Her college decided to inundate her with email after email today about the college freshers/induction week schedule, meet the tutor events, handbooks, dinner/formals schedule etc etc. So now she is happily reading those instead of finishing packing. She hasn't been given any info on her room yet and I'm still unsure what the situation is with parking when we arrive.
Feeling excited for her but it will probably hit me on the way home thats she's finally gone.

Original poster
DahliaMacNamara · 01/10/2021 19:24

Good luck with the drop-off tomorrow. DD's 'packing' is all in her room, so it's impossible to assess how much of it will actually fit into the car. If it's as bad as I suspect, DD might have to make her own way to Oxford in the morning and wait for her things to arrive for the allocated slot.
I'm joking. Almost.

OP posts:
Jalfrezi · 01/10/2021 19:39

When is your DD going @DahliaMacNamara ? Is it Tomorrow?

Original poster
DahliaMacNamara · 01/10/2021 20:01

She's going on Monday. Two more days to acquire 'essential' items.

OP posts:
LaundryFairy · 01/10/2021 20:08

Hi everyone, so good to read your updates. DS is off to Oxford on Monday, and already feeling a bit overwhelmed by the numerous mandatory meetings and events scheduled for freshers week. He does struggle a bit with having too much on at once (ASD diagnosis and is getting DSA support) and he usually needs some down time to ‘decompress’. Hopefully he will be able to find some quiet time in his hectic schedule.

LaundryFairy · 01/10/2021 20:10

And yes to the overpacking situation! God knows how we’re going to stuff it all in…

pepperaunt · 01/10/2021 20:10

We’re dropping DD off at Cambridge tomorrow. Really trying to keep it together. Our slot is 9 am, out ASAP.

Jalfrezi · 01/10/2021 20:46

Good luck to everyone for the drop offs. Hope they all settle in quickly and enjoy freshers week. Will update how it all went and looking forward to hearing how everyone else gets on too.
Just checked the weather for tomorrow in Oxford. Rain across the entire few hours we will be moving her in - so that will be fun! Hope we don't have too far to walk from the car to her accommodation.
@LaundryFairy I know what you mean about the jam packed schedule. They will definitely be busy. DD doing joint honours so having to cross check between the 2 faculties nothing is clashing.

RunnersTipple · 01/10/2021 21:45

We dropped DS this morning, but are back tomorrow for a garden party! Luckily a) we are an hour away and b) I managed to get diesel after trying 7 filling stations in nearest town. We have a list of things to bring with us including drawing pins and coat hangers. Plus his bike which we couldn't fit in the car today. Resisting the temptation to message him asking how it has been Halo

Chilldonaldchill · 01/10/2021 22:16

DD has been there 3 days now.
She was very excited at first but has been a little wobbly the last 24 hours. Initially there wasn't much to do so she was only mixing with her staircase (who are "lovely" but she wanted to meet a few more people). For the next few days there are quite a few things in the timetable but she has met her supervisor already and has an essay to write in the next few days despite having no access to the library and bring supposed to have freshers' stuff on!
A combination of exhaustion (going to bed late and sleeping in unfamiliar bed) and overwhelmed introversion has led to a couple of "I'm fine but it's stressful" phone calls.
It's a bit of a shame that the starts are so staggered....

goodbyestranger · 02/10/2021 08:33

Chilldonaldchill that sounds very familiar. A few days usually works miracles - tell her to hang on in there.

Chilldonaldchill · 02/10/2021 09:44

@goodbyestranger

Chilldonaldchill that sounds very familiar. A few days usually works miracles - tell her to hang on in there.
Thank you
TheFrendo · 02/10/2021 20:20

We took DD down to Cambridge today. I am not a little jealous. There seem to be lots of plans to get the social wheels turning, which is a great idea. Has eaten in the dining hall (a/the posh and old) which she described as bordering on Hogwarts.

Juja · 03/10/2021 08:22

Arrived to stay with father-in-law on way to drop off son at Oxford tomorrow- then rushing back north for a work evening event - somewhat stressed by fuel situation in the south.

Will be pleased to leave him as it’s been a nightmare as he’s decided not to engage with college / Uni admin and almost didn’t get a room in college because he didn’t read the full 5 page letter and logon to the Accomodation preferences (very poorly put together letter admittedly). Then claimed on Friday there were no emails and he couldn’t yet access Uni email until he got there - another fib as he’s had all the codes just another email he hadn’t read. So we sat on him and he’s now on his Uni email and has seen all the invites to his tutorials / JCR / fellows drinks etc. Currently refuses to share the dropping off information! Hoping to extract that today as it’s a central college with no space for parking.
I do have some sympathy that all these introduce yourself by spreadsheet activities are a bit naff but there is a price for failing to do the basic admin. You have to follow their systems whether you like it or not.

After tomorrow it’s not my problem and I know he’ll have a great time. Today he said he’s getting going on his reading list!

Bakeandyarn · 03/10/2021 09:04

Just waved DD off to Oxford, sensibly opted for DH to take her as he’s used to taking her brother (same college). I hope they all have a great time, the first few days are always a bit strange. DS took a good while to settle in so I’m crossing my fingers that DD will find it a bit easier.

mytortoiseisill · 03/10/2021 10:40

“ Resisting the temptation to message him asking how it has been halo”

Same here, but DH - who was lecturing me at drop off about staying in the car and leaving ds to it - texted ds this morning!

I see you DH - I see you!

Jalfrezi · 03/10/2021 11:08

Well all went swimmingly (in the torrential rain) when we dropped DD off yesterday. We didn't stay long after unloading. I made her bed, popped to the Tesco Express to get essentials and by the time we got back she was happily ensconced in another girl's room chatting with other freshers with her unpacking tasks suitably ignored. So we left her to it as she looked happy and excited. She messaged late that night to say they had just got back from a bar and was going to bed. I'm desperate to call her but will sit on my hands as I know she needs to settle in and make friends. I really liked her room. It's huge, up on the top floor with lovely windows and seems typically Oxford in character - slightly run down and eclectic!
I have to say Oxford was buzzing with students - it was all rather exciting. Think DD will love it after our sleepy little village.
Hope Freshers Week goes well for everyone and that they stay healthy.

FlyingSquid · 03/10/2021 16:19

Ok, where are you all finding this information about jam packed freshers’ schedules and why is dd denying having any such information?