UEA (2019) Surely 2021 (and getting on for halfway through our DC's degrees) things have got to get better????

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

New thread following on from the previous one.

Lots of and into 2021.

@Itscoldouthere great to hear from you. I often wonder what your Ds is up to and whether he stayed in Norwich.

@Sluj yes please. I'm assuming it'll be the same for all graduates. I'm not looking forward to the park and ride either. We have to go out of our way to get it too.

Ds arrived back from his USA trip yesterday lunchtime. I've just got home from work and he's not up. He doesn't seem that bothered about looking for a job. He's got the travelling bug and wants to go somewhere else now. He's not really hot any money though.
He borrowed my laptop when his broke, he is still signed in on his email account. I know I shouldn't be nosy, but I saw in an email that he's has been offered 3 days shadowing someone in a company to see if that is the sort of job he'd like. I noticed the dates for this as 18th, 19th and 20th July. His graduation is on 20th. He doesn't know I've seen the email. I asked him when he's doing the 3 days, he said he doesn't know without looking at emails. I said soon? Or next month? He said next month. So I'm waiting to see when he will realise. If at all.

@NotSorry yes I’m hoping they will do that in Norwich, they are pretty together and it’s a very nice and tidy house, my DS hasn’t really been there since March (seeing as he’s dropped out) but he’s fully contributed to bills etc as it’s the only fair way to proceed, so I’m hoping they may club together to pay for a cleaner, there’s 8 of them so it wouldn’t be that expensive.
My other sons house in Bournemouth is a bit different, half have already left (including my son) it’s a mess and I don’t think the others will come back to clean or pay for a cleaner, I can tell it’s going to be a tricky situation due to how much my son is already moaning about it 😂

@icanbewhatiwant DS has been in London since March, he’s been up and down and we haven’t made a lot of progress really, he’s not got a job yet, and doesn’t know where to begin, I could do with some support for him really but it’s hard to know where to find it.
Hes been feeling a bit funny about coming back up to Norwich as he’s embarrassed about his lack of progress, but luckily he’s recently contacted his housemates and he’s arranged to come up soon, as they are going out to celebrate.
I just have to encourage him and try and help him staying positive, but it’s hard at times.
At least I’m here with him for now, my DH job has moved to New York so another change coming for us 😬

@Itscoldouthere that's good he's made contact with his housemates. Yes I can imagine it's difficult for you all. Hopefully he will find something he likes the look of. New York next? Ds visited New York. He enjoyed it, he was amazed how big it all was.

@LouisCatorze is he just fed up because it's all finished? They didn't really get the university experience they all dreamed of.

I think he was a bit disappointed with his result, he doesn't really feel he did the right degree (thinks he should have done economics), is downhearted that he hasn't landed a graduate job in just a month of looking, and just doesn't feel as if he has had a very positive experience. BUT I would say some of that is down to going to stay with his girlfriend, on and off, for virtually the whole of his third year. I did comment that he found his girlfriend at UEA so that's a positive!

@Itscoldouthere I too think about how you and your family (and the dog) are getting on. I'd say your DS2 possibly is still 'recalibrating'. I'm sure when the time is right, he'll find a job. Would he consider doing some voluntary work, if only to be meeting other people locally? Good (and courageous) for him to go back up to Norwich to go out with his friends. I'm sure that will be a boost for him. Does your DS1 know what he's going to do now? Are you likely to go out to be with your DH in NY (how exciting!)?

I'm not looking forward to travelling for graduation if it's going to be heading on for 40C next week...

@LouisCatorze what day are you going? Ours is weds. Forecast is showing as 24° for weds at the moment. Met office app. is showing rain that afternoon. But the weather may show differently by then.

@icanbewhatiwant 24C would be fab as long as it's not raining!

Was out with the 'children' today and it really was too hot.

@sluj would be great to hear how graduation went. DD is next Friday and we were hoping to be able to go onto campus to take some photos but she's just read gowns cannot leave the area. Did you see anyone leaving to take photos and how strict is the exit. Could we sneak out for 10 mins? DD wanted informal photos rather than the school photo type option available to pre order.
No scroll, no handshake and no photos doesn't make for much of a celebration.

@LouisCatorze I’ve been enjoying being back in London, getting to know my area (not far from where we lived 10 years ago, but not as desirable/nice) seeing friends, spending time with the boys.
The house has potential but at the moment we are just living with it as it is, I’m fixing little things and have been doing a bit of gardening but not much else.
The dog is here, he’s settled in well although the foxes and cats do drive him crazy but it’s easy to get out to good walking spots and I take him on the bus (which I couldn’t do in Montreal).
I’ve also been doing some work part time, which has been lovely.
My DH will be looking for an apartment in NY soon, we’ve left Montreal now and our stuff is being shipped. He’ll probably go out next week, I’ll go for 3 weeks in August hopefully to help look at apartments, then I will be back and forth, depending on work/boys/dog etc but I currently don’t intend on living full time in NY, it just means DH & I will have periods apart but hopefully we will make it work😬

DS1 also disappointed with his results, didn’t make the progress he’d hoped for. He was also tied up in a relationship that was pretty intense as they were living in lockdown together, they broke up before Christmas, got back together in Feb, then broke up again about 3 weeks ago. So now he’s trying to move on with everything, it’s quite tough, but I think he’ll be ok once/if he finds a job, he’s looking to do digital modelling.

Good luck for all of your graduation ceremonies, hopefully it won’t be too hot !

@juicy0 Ds seemed to think we wouldn't be able to take photos of him wearing the gown. He said they can only wear for the professional photo then they must be returned. He said they can't wear them to collect whatever they are collecting as he says it won't be a certificate.

@Itscoldouthere good to hear your news. Sorry to hear ds1 hasn't had a good time either. I hope they both settle into something they enjoy. Your dh moves about a lot. NYC will be a busy place to live, how long will he be there?

@icanbewhatiwant how sad is that? Other unis allow family photos on the lawn or in the square but uea don't even let them outside. DD is rapidly losing enthusiasm for the whole event

I don't know whether Ds is correct. Dh has just arrived home from dd's near Brighton. He said there were lots of students dressed in gowns all along the seafront throwing their mortar boards up in the air.

@Sluj we are waiting in anticipation. I hope it all went well. I just read back and have seen it's not until 5.30pm so we won't hear back for a while, you will still be there. As I type...it's on the local bbc news now. They are walking onto stage in their outfits, nodding, then walking off again. Then having photos by a UEA sign. Ds didn't think they were allowed to wear gowns apart from for photos.

Where has your DS got the idea from that they can't be 'out and about' on campus with their gowns/mortarboards @icanbewhatiwant . Have to say it sounds very 'killjoy' if it is indeed the case.

He's got the travelling bug and wants to go somewhere else now. I think I thought that more graduates than usual would want to spread their wings after graduating, if only because they missed out on lots of travel during the pandemic. He could travel and work as he goes to fund it?

@Itscoldouthere great to hear from you and glad to hear that you are settling into your new home and being back in the UK. Good luck to your DS1 with finding a job and getting over the break up of his relationship. Hard having to navigate both at the same time.

@Sluj hope the graduation ceremony was enjoyable and that you managed to fit in everything in that two hour time-frame?

Hi, found you after the mumsnet changes.
It all went very well at the graduation last night, not too hot either.

You need the full 2 hours beforehand as there is a humongous queue for the official photos ( an hour for us). We walked in to the main marquee quite easily, every thing is done using a QR code that the student get sent to them. No queue for the gowns and there are dressers in that area who show you how to put the hood and cap on. Very organised - then you join the photo queue which was long.
After this you can go out to the "outside" area in your gowns and get a drink or a snack if you want. There were food vans, a bar and a live music area. A bit like a festival really. There was also some backdrop photos of the Ziggurats so you could take your photo in front of them. There was a bit of upset that you couldn't take your gowns out of the graduation area to get nice campus photos. There are lots of opportunities before and after the ceremony to have family photos in the gown though as you don't give the gown back till you leave the sportspark and have had enough food and drink. Most parents stood next to the official photographer and took photos when he did, they didnt mind that.
We arrived at 3.30pm as instructed and left at 7.30pm with nearly 2 hours of that in the hall.
The hall looked surprisingly nice. There is air con and if you are in seats 1 to 5 or 43 to 48 you might be near the units which are a little noisy. If you are delicate like me, you might want a cardi. There were a couple of short speeches then a long procession of graduands crossing the stage and tipping their hats at the Provost. There is a big screen so you can see well if you are at the back. I have to say the procession is a bit tedious but there no way round that. There is a fair bit of noise throughout with the clapping so you could take sweets etc. After that you can mill about outside.
What people wore
Graduands - Boys -formal trousers, shirts or suits. Only one boy didn't have a tie. Mine chose to wear formal trousers, shirt and tie rather than a suit and he was glad of that as he said the gown was hot ( it's blue by the way)
Girls - I only saw 3 not wearing dresses and 2 of those wore jumpsuit type things. Most had very strappy high heels which looked a bit precarious but they all managed. An amazingly high number of girls wore LCR night club type dresses which were very low cut at the front and short

Guests - ladies mostly wore dresses and sandals though it is fairly relaxed and I think you would feel OK in whatever you wore. There is a laid hard surface outside so you needn't worry too much about high heels but there is a lot of standing around.
Men - Mostly formal trousers, shirts and ties with quite a few suits. Some chinos, no jeans. One man wore shorts and he did look unusual. Not all wore a tie or a plain kind of suit shirt but mostly it was a proper shirt, no polo's or t shirts.
I don't think it would really matter what you wore but my DS said he was glad I had banned shorts for his Dad.
The festival area was a bit boring really but that might be because DS was one of only 6 medics from 2 years graduating so he didn't really know anyone apart from one. It might he better next week when DS2 graduates with friends.
You give the gown back on the way out. Look out for girls giving the graduands a free UEA mug near the gown return tent.
All in all, we did enjoy it and we are glad he made the effort to travel 200 miles to attend it.
Let me know if you have any specific questions. Sorry for any spelling mistakes, I'm on my hotel bed writing it on my phone 😁
I'll post photos below as I don't want to run the risk of losing this post

Photos

The whole thing is live streamed too if you want other family members to see it.

@LouisCatorze I don't know why Ds said that gowns couldn't be worn for long. I thought he'd got that wrong.

Thanks @Sluj I watched some on both news channels. Was the actual ceremony very long. All looks good.

The ceremony was about 1 hrs 15 I would say

Thanks @Sluj very helpful and glad you all enjoyed it.

@Sluj thanks. All very helpful. I've passed the info onto Ds. I hope it's not silly hot weds. Mon and Tues will be hot.

The local newspaper article...

www.edp24.co.uk/news/education/uea-student-dismay-at-graduation-gown-rules-9145260

I guess it's not the end of the world that they can't go further away.

I'm just hoping there aren't going to be crazy storms with the weather getting so hot.