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Higher education

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The CDE of University Life (2019/20 cohort) - assignments, flat-hunting, Halloween and the end of their first term fast approaching

999 replies

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 30/10/2019 15:56

Previous thread - Obvs the end of term is looming sooner for some than for others? I guess the Oxbridge posse will finish by the end of November or just into December?

OP posts:
WaxOnFeckOff · 02/11/2019 08:38

Ds finishes classes at end November then has two exams in early December but he's not told me when yet.

chemenger · 02/11/2019 10:08

You can register using a former address in the U.K. for up to 15 years after leaving the U.K. we just had a message from our British Consul with a link telling us how to register (we have homes in the U.K. and the US so it doesn’t really affect us, we’re registered here anyway). It’s on the gov.uk webpage on general registration. I think the format address is just used to check that you were registered there before.

Benjispruce · 02/11/2019 10:12

Found you.

bengalcat · 02/11/2019 11:37

Mine registered to vote in her uni town as soon as she knew her address there . She’s also registered at home too but will still be at uni on the 12th .
Serin it crossed my mind to consider buying too .
Am off to Durham later as kid has been unwell like so many others . At least she finally saw her GP and had penicillin - still kills most bugs .

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 02/11/2019 11:44

DD has registered for a postal vote for home before she left (neither seat is marginal, so it's not crucial where she votes).

If only registering for the GP was as simple Wink The latest is she's now managed to register for online services (so she can order repeats) only to find that they've cancelled all her repeat prescriptions. So she's booked an appointment for next week to sort it all out. By the time it's all sorted, she'll be coming home for xmas (which will be another issue for getting meds). Honestly, what a bloody faff.

simbobs · 02/11/2019 12:15

Aaargh, just tried to post lengthy message on former thread. It basically said that DS home for weekend as unwell. Probably been overdoing things on the social front. He is managing uni better than I expected, but his bf seems to be having a mh crisis - become nocturnal, missed a whole week of lectures and more, not eating properly, no money for food. As a parent I would want to know if this were my son, but DS doesn't want to tell tales out of school. Should we somehow alert his family (we know them only slightly). What do others think?

bigTillyMint · 02/11/2019 14:00

@simbobs, can you try to convince your DS to either tell his parents or tell student support at uni? Would he want to see his friend drop out or worse - he needs support urgently by the sounds of it. How come he has no money for food? Too much spent on drink/drugs? I would want to know off it was DS, but maybe student support would be more effective?

Benjispruce · 02/11/2019 14:21

Sorry to hear so many ill or low. I think it’s that time, did someone earlier say wobble week? All the partying is probably taking its toll and it’s still a way to go until end of term. DD has been a bit abrupt of late, only texting when she needs something. It’s hard to communicate properly over text, but it’s never convenient to phone!Confused

simbobs · 02/11/2019 14:53

@bigTillyMint, DS friend didn't get much loan and parents are not able to supplement. He seems unable to cook a meal himself and relies on take aways and meal deals.They are not fiscally savvy and seem to have an inexplicable amount of debt. We have asked DS to at least feed friend for a couple of weeks (at our expense) as all he has left in his bank account is the price of his fare home. We could pick up friend at xmas and will offer to do so. His folks don't drive. We are discussing student support. DS seems unaware of the existence of such a thing. Friend has signed up with a dr as he is asthmatic, so he could go there also, but seems to need help with getting structure and perspective. He is a bright lad who deserves a chance to shine but suffers from low self esteem, depression and lack of organisational skills. I want DS to help him but not to get dragged down by him. It is ongoing...

simbobs · 02/11/2019 14:54

@Benjispruce my DC only ever text when they need something! Hardly hear from them otherwise.

bigTillyMint · 02/11/2019 15:00

@simbobs, poor boy Sad
It would be great if your DS could persuade his friend to go to student support, but even of he can't, could your DS go and flag up his concerns? It sounds like his parents may be a bit useless with this and SS might be a better route to go? But also agree you don't want your DS to get dragged down.

My two text (DD so lot more than DS!) but we do have FaceTimes about once a week. Or two WinkGrin

stucknoue · 02/11/2019 15:21

Both my DD's finish the day after the election. They can register for a postal vote if they want to vote at university. Here they are being encouraged to vote at home because the university area is an ultra safe seat

WaxOnFeckOff · 02/11/2019 15:22

simbobs, that's a real shame. My Ds was in a similar boat (but still at home and at school) when he was about 16. He struggled to organise himself and felt under too much pressure but really wouldn't tell anyone. He hated himself for being in a mess and not coping. He had undiagnosed dyspraxia. I'm not saying that's what your DSs friend has, but DS came on leaps and bounds once he knew that there was a reason for being the way he was, he's been able to put in better strategies and we've monitored him more closely. Having less subjects on at a time (with less people hassling him) has definitely helped.

Student support is definitely the way to go but I think i might be tempted to ask friends parents if they've heard from him recently and drop in that your DS mentioned that he thought he was struggling a bit. To be honest though it sounds like they won't be much help.

I take it he got lower loan as they have decent income but their income is already tied up paying debts? I'm not sure how it works in England, but I'm sure in Scotland they can declare themselves independent and not getting parental support and are then able to borrow a bit more. That might be worth looking at. Sounds though as if he just isn't managing income well either. a loaf of bread and some spread & cheese and/or meat will be a lot cheaper for lunches than buying a meal deal every day.

I've done a couple of shopping deliveries to the halls. Even if it's just ready meals/things easy to heat up, that is probably still going to be cheaper than buying every day and living off take-away.

Ginfordinner · 02/11/2019 16:16

On way back from visiting DD. She was stressing about an essay, but has just messaged me to say she has nearly finished it. She has a nice little friendship group who support each other. She tends to socialise rather than party hard. She has been to one club in Newcastle and hated it.

Disability services told her that her CFS is the worst case they have seen and that she may have narcolepsy. She even falls asleep at her desk in the middle of studying.

Benjispruce · 02/11/2019 16:37

@Ginfordinner sorry to hear that, poor girl. When did she start having problems? I guess being ill recently is making her more fatigued on top of everything else.
Glad I’m not the only one getting brief texts. I think I’m noticing it now because we were so involved in her getting there and for the first week or two, then you’re not involved at all. I guess I should be happy she’s managing.

Ginfordinner · 02/11/2019 16:57

She started "crashing" when revising for her GCSEs, then it became worse in year 12 when she was studying 4 subjects at A level. It improved a little when she dropped down to 3 subjects. Doing 4 was clearly too much of a stretch for her.

Benjispruce · 02/11/2019 17:43

Is she lots better during holidays? Hope she finds a way to cope. An extra worry for you though.

simbobs · 02/11/2019 17:56

@WaxOn, I had also wondered about dyspraxia in DS's friend. It is hard to know how much he was relying on my DS organising him socially before they went off to uni. Now he seems so out of sync with the rest of the group, but DS recognises the potential for being dragged down by other people's problems. He has been guilty in the past of spending too much time worrying about his friends and not getting on with his own work. He is going to see whether he can help friend to organise himself. I will look into Student Support. We don't see friend's parents around but I would say something if I did. By sheer coincidence DH knows his grandfather through a shared activity and I would prefer it if DH said something to him would appear more natural) so that it could filter down, and possibly offer financial help if he can. DH would never do this, though.

Blogblogblogblog · 02/11/2019 18:00

Lots of daughters to mums on here will be getting to the end of their contraceptive pill packet supplies they took to uni, realising too late and getting stressed trying to get a repeat prescription at a new GP. Get them to go to the local sexual health clinic. Dd was seen there and then, filled a form out and had blood pressure etc health checks done. Nipped back after her lecture and picked up a year’s supply. She was delighted. Told her tearful flatmate who couldn’t get an appt in time too and so she nipped down the next day and got sorted within 5 mins too.

Ginfordinner · 03/11/2019 09:17

DD made sure she had enough to see her through until Christmas.

errorofjudgement · 03/11/2019 10:33

Still reading all the updates and cheering and commiserating from the sidelines.
I’ve just seen this article about a new cafe with board games that’s opened in Bath, and I know there are other towns/cities that have similar and thought it might appeal to students looking for something different to relax with, tbh I’m quite tempted bimybug myself but I’m probably not their target demographic Grin
www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/new-board-game-caf-opens-3490931

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 03/11/2019 11:25

@errorofjudgement that looks a great idea. For someone like DS who doesn't drink/like clubbing, that would be a good alternative for a night out.

@simbobs you and your DS sound lovely for helping his friend out.

OP posts:
ZandathePanda · 03/11/2019 11:37

GinforDinner hope your daughter and everyone else’s child is getting better now. First day in 2 weeks I haven’t had razor sharp throat pain, courtesy of my infectious ‘fresher’. Think I will have the cough for a while.

simbobs · 03/11/2019 11:40

@NewModelArmy Mayhem18 , thank you. I'm waiting for DS to request a lift back from gf house so that I can see him properly before he goes back. I have found out that he didn't register with a doctor when he started and want to try and get him to do so now. I have looked up the medical centre on the uni website and it couldn't be easier. He is still feeling below par and can't eat properly. I suspect a virus so it will pass but I would feel happier if I knew that he could access medical care.
That's nothing compared to what some DC have been experiencing, I know.

Ginfordinner · 03/11/2019 13:25

DD loves board games, and card games. She took Cards Against Humanity with her, and they have been used a lot.