The CDE of University Life (2019/20 cohort) - assignments, flat-hunting, Halloween and the end of their first term fast approaching

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Previous thread - Obvs the end of term is looming sooner for some than for others? I guess the Oxbridge posse will finish by the end of November or just into December?

@Piggywaspushed (hoping you're okay as you've been quiet recently?).

Fine thanks! Just nothing to report...other than suspicious Febreze buying activities!

That may be a positive sign - perhaps he's getting rid of smells to impress someone????

@Benjispruce Moving in for second year very much depends on the summer plans. Most years my dd has been home & working locally so hasn’t gone back till mid September, not long before freshers week.

Benji - i think it depends, based on who DS2 met at freshers, I think a lot of the 2nd years had arrived in time for freshers events... :)

So, the week before lectures start.

As for the febreeze request, I've already been asked how to unblock a toilet and for air fresheners and decent bin bags. All I can think of is that poor girl stuck in a flat with 4 teenage boys.

Hi everyone .. this thread is still so busy :)
Hope you are all ok..
things have be going well generally...
Ds1 was having a great time , until the weekend when he developed an infection in a wisdom tooth that hasn't broken through yet.. poor thing has been in tears, but hopefully the antibiotics are starting to work now..
Ds2 at Durham was getting in a tizz about the whole 2nd year house situation.. the girls on his corridor were getting organised, but there is info from Hild Bede saying not to do anything until term 2 when there will be a housing roadshow.. ds2 can also stay in college for 3 years, which tbh, I think might suit him better atm. He's very young, not into partying, or cooking so life is easy at college... its also pretty reasonable after bursaries. So I just want to point out again, that people shouldn't be put off applying to a uni on accommodation fees without checking out what's available bursary wise.
Really hoping he's able to store his stuff,... as both boys are booked onto National Express coach trips home paid for by Tesco
club card!

newmodel, this I had not considered!!

@LaBelleSauvage123 DD was allocated a moving in date with a time slot. The overseas students tend to move in a few days before, but UK students move in on their allocated date. DD found out afterwards that she could have moved in the day before, but we would have had to pay more. The problem with moving in early is that it is pretty lonely rattling around a flat for 8 people if no-one else has turned up.

I have to say that the moving in day was pretty well organised, but the building work by DD’s halls was a bit of a problem. DD is in the same halls as Zanda’s DD, and Zanda has described moving in day pretty well. This year Northumbria had the same start date, and Newcastle were playing at home so it was pretty busy.

DD took a gap year and was allocated halls in July.

In other news she has just signed up for a house for her second year with 7 others. The main priority was a nice kitchen

Thanks Gin - I rang the university and they said that moving in day would be about 2 days before the start of term, which is the 28th Sept. Does that sound about the same?

@ZandathePanda thank you - I’ve only just read back and seen your post. 30 mins doesn’t sound long - I think we’ll have to go up the night before as DH is driving with the stuff and DS and I are flying to leave more space in the car. That’s the plan anyway.

That sounds a bit late. Moving in day is a couple of days before freshers weeks starts, which was 21st September this year.

There just isn't enough parking by some of the halls. This year we literally had 5 minutes to unload the car before I had to drive off, leave DD and DH and find somewhere in the middle of town to park. There was a team of second year students helping to unload and make the freshers welcome. There is a lot of building work going on by Park View flats, so it was a little chaotic, but the organisation of drop off day was done with military precision as Zabda has already pointed out.

Any budding romances appearing yet. OH is convinced DS and one of the flatmates are getting close. He talks about her all the time and she hangs around when he is on the phone to us. She is also making him cook.

That's a bit of a "watch this space" then justasking . Might be dangerous ground if they get together and then break up while still sharing a flat?

Not sure about romances but 90% of DS2s new FB friends are female and the only photos I can see on Social Media seem to involve him and various female companions. To be fair in one of them he is wearing a dress - fancy dress for halloween. This will be a bit of a departure for him as he'd asked out a couple of girls at school, he was ghosted by one and the other agreed to go to the school dance with him but went home sick after about half an hour.

I'm clearly biased but he is a good looking lad but not very conservative in a pretty straight laced school. When he first went to high school (out of catchment) he told me some girls had described him as a bit exotic. :o I think he will enjoy meeting lots of different types of people.

Ginfordinner this is a bit worrying as I have a significant birthday (!) the weekend before and am in the process of booking a holiday house for 5 days. I’m sure I made it clear to the chap on the phone at Newcastle that I was asking about moving in day. Aargh! Obviously I’m prepared to move the birthday celebrations so they don’t clash.

@LaBelleSauvage123 it looks like the beginning of term is 28th September next year
www.ncl.ac.uk/regulations/docs/term-dates/#currentandfutureyears

Aha Gin - I’ve just done the same thing. Phew! That makes it a lot easier, and nicer for DS too, as we’ll have family and friends coming to my birthday thing, which will give him a chance to say goodbye to them. I think we might go up the day before and stay in a Travelodge or something - less stressful in terms of timing!

That sounds like a good idea. We had a 2.30 - 3pm slot on drop off day, and the queues on the A1 were all the way from Durham. If you get a reasonable early morning slot you will avoid those queues.

In contrast we sailed straight into Newcastle on the Sunday! Whether it’s a match day and what day Durham/ other universities go back does make a difference. Gin had better weather though! Tipping it down on the way back.

I have a birthday that falls when uni term starts and have resigned myself to never seeing my DC on my birthday (possibly ever) again. Just celebrate it sooner. The point is to all be together. They need to be able to be excited about going to uni rather than being worried about upsetting us.

Oh folks advice please! Help! My DD who was having a blast for the first few weeks has taken a real dive. ExBF and her were in constant communication and he said he was coming to see her etc. I think she wanted to get back together - a comfort blanket even though they are miles apart. But she has just discovered that he is now involved with someone new. So that was the devastation at the weekend. She just collapsed a bit and said she couldn't cope and didnt want to stay. I have been in touch a lot trying to get her to keep going. Her new life is there etc.

Then tonight her housemates have just announced that 8 of them are planning to live together next year - 2 others are going elsewhere so that just leaves her and one other girl (who she is friends with). She rang in total floods just wanting to leave. Its really hard because she's at a very low ebb anyway and not feeling resilient at all (though she is usually pretty resilient). With a clear head I'm not sure she would think the rest of the house are her type of people really - they are so druggy and drunk all the time and thats not really her.

I am telling her what you'd expect:

• its way too early to know who you want to live with
• she always knew it would take time to find her real friends
• there will be lots of other people who are in the same boat looking for housemates
• she has other friends on her course she can ask
• its too early to give up on the place - she's only been there for 6 weeks - she needs to give it a chance - she would regret it if she left now
• there's nothing for her here - all her friends are away at uni.

Any advice on what else I can do? I imagine its too late to swap housing (everyone will have become very close by now so hard to join anywhere new). But maybe the accommodation service has a matching noticeboard for people looking for housemates? Any other ideas? She's at Manchester Met. Its way too early to be deciding on housemates but apparently everyone starts putting down deposits before christmas.

@Bouledeneige that’s a hard phone call. Remember that you’re the sponge and she’s offloading. I really hope that things look better for her today and over the week. Could she look at a 2 bed flat with the other girl you said she is friends with? Could be a lot simpler with just 2 of them if they get on.

I feel for your daughter. DD was dumped by her boyfriend just before she went to university. In retrospect I'm glad it happened when it did. I suspect there will be a few wobbles in many flat shares as people group together to organise year 2.

When she has a clearer head your DD will realise that she has had a lucky escape. Sharing with druggy drunk students sounds like a car crash waiting to happen. And it sounds like she is better off without the boyfriend. The feeling of rejection is awful.

Sympathies to you and dd bouledeneige that sounds upsetting! I really think the whole 'oh you've just arrived, now find a group of friends within two months and sign up to a house for next September' can be so stressful for the ones who don't immediately click/gel into a group. Huge potential for rejection/exclusion/anxiety there. And even if dd wouldn't have wanted to share with the 8 or the other 2, it's still hurtful not to be asked!
Everything you've said to dd is right - I think another point is that this can be a particularly difficult time socially, so things are likely to improve, but it takes patience. Is dd enjoying the course itself?

I imagine its too late to swap housing (everyone will have become very close by now so hard to join anywhere new).

Not always - I think in quite a few cases by now flatmates have started drifting apart or even fallen out - so there may be the possibility of swapping through the accommodation office. (But dd should make sure she knows why there's a space - don't want to go from the frying pan into the fire!)

Benkisproce - I think she wouldn't want to just live with the one girl as although they get on well she had said the other girl is quite moany and her boyfriend comes up every week as does her Mum (bringing her meals!).

DD had dumped her BF in the summer and chose not to go to the same uni as him. Which was brave and strong. But she obviously caved on that when facing the challenge of transition and turned to him as a crutch. She feels totally rejected now. She's not had it easy with friendship groups over the years - nothing terrible but it hasn't always been easy - she was saying last night, why dies no one want to be friends with me.

Awful. She's in a very bad way.

While our DCs might not move into second year flats until closer to start of term - if they're private rentals that need paying from almost the start of the summer hols - can they be used for potential storage?