The CDE of University Life (2019/20 cohort) - assignments, flat-hunting, Halloween and the end of their first term fast approaching

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Previous thread - Obvs the end of term is looming sooner for some than for others? I guess the Oxbridge posse will finish by the end of November or just into December?

That is really tough on you all.i suppose everyone will have their own way of dealing with it Positive thoughts for the scan.

Dd2 has just started handing her first essays in and is busy with her extra curricular stuff. We had a nice day together in half term where she showed me some of her favourite parts if the city and both dds will be back this weekend for their brothers birthday.

I have been reading your very sad messages and just wanted to say how sorry I am. Life is complicated enough without having to worry about DH as well as DC.

On a different note my DS seems to be coping well with uni life and possibly even doing some work. I have just been to visit DD (3rd Yr) on her overseas placement and she is drowning in work at the expense of being able to socialise much. Such a shame as she should be having more fun at her time of life and has made a nice group of friends. She gets so easily stressed that I can't help but worry about her.

Thank you all for you thoughts and support.

On the money issue, DS is just the same - he has spent virtually nothing and I will definitely be revising down the amount we give him for the rest of this year at least (once he's buying his own food I assume he will need a bit more). He is being very, very frugal - to the extent that he was scrutinising the menu prices when we took him out for meals - not a thing he'd have thought to do before. All very good in principle, but I'm concerned that he is not buying kindle books when he needs to (when things are not available in audio format in libraries) and so making things unnecessarily difficult for himself. He seems to be regarding uni as an experiment in how little he can spend.

@SchrodingersKitty it sounds as if you are very much not in denial but bearing the brunt of the family's worry about your DH.

It must be such a difficult time for you all. Maybe DS's doing his own thing over the weekend is his way of coping with what's going on with your DH?

It all sounds such a painstakingly process - a wait and see and then follow-up tests taking time too, when all you want to know is the reality and what your DH needs to do next. Is it likely that the medical procedures required for diagnosis/treatment decision-making will happen before Christmas, or will you be in limbo until early next year?

I am not surprised your DH is feeling below par, particularly with this recent virus being a nasty one.

Really hoping that you get some answers very soon.

My DS is the same with money ! He's doing his food shop at Lidl .. making lunch to take to uni. Bought a flask to take coffee out and wants a rice cooker for Xmas ! Rarely drinks .. he gets full loan anyway .. but he's coping fine .. I pay his phone and give him
£100 a month and EXH gives him £150 a month .. he's got a job for Xmas hols too!

@SchrodingersKitty sorry to hear you have all the DH worry, wishing you well and hoping it’s good news after the next scan.

My DS are like chalk and chees DS2 hardly spending anything, I think he’s got about £700 left for this term and DS1 who is down to his last £100. Guess you can tell who’s the socialising drinker and who stays in a lot!
I’ve got the delights of having to show people around our house as it’s just gone on the market, it’s a right pain having to keep it so tidy all the time, but it’s so much easier with no children at home!!

@Alicatz66 your DS will be quids in if he's getting the full maintenance loan and £250 a month. DS has about £300 left (a term) from his loan after his accommodation is paid plus what we give him.

Yes, some of our DC are clearly taking frugality to the extreme. I have told DS to lighten up a bit. I never had an overdraft as a student and did live well within my means, but don't recall scrimping as much as DS seems to be.

Clearly the not drinking does make a marked difference to finanes.

finances rather than finanes.

DS is spending maybe £25 a week on food. I suggested he sweeps any spare at the end of the month into savings so he always has a fixed amount when we transfer the month's money - makes it easier to budget.

We might adjust down, but I don't want to punish him for being careful at this stage, so will take it slowly. We were budgeting £300pm so could probably easily bring that down to £250 and he should still be fine.

@MrKlaw glad your DS had a good weekend at home and took the Nespresso machine back with him.

Yes, I'm slightly conflicted about DS saving the money (with some used to pay his Yr 2 house let deposit) vs us having more in our coffers!

I'm still waiting for my DS to mention next year's accommodation. I did quiz him a couple of weeks ago but must do so again. As he doesn't have any obvious housemates I fear he may be burying his head in the sand.

@SchrodingersKitty, how difficult for your DH and you and DS

Oh to have money left after paying accommodation. Why didn’t DD choose a cheaper uni????

For us as a family, the cost of accommodation was a real consideration. DS/we really couldn't afford for him to go where accommodation costs would outstrip his maintenance loan.

We pay for their accommodation and they have to live on their loans (they get the minimum) to tell you the truth I’m not sure how much they got this term, but believe they have around £100 a week, so DS1 has really blown his budget with 5 weeks left, and only £100 left, mind you he has paid £250 for his yearly bus pass and £108 to join a gym (which he’s hardly used). I think because his halls are right in town they just go out a lot because it’s so easy.
I was hoping next year his accommodation might be cheaper but I’m not sure if it will be as he has to pay for 50 weeks.
It’s certainly a drain on our finances having 2 of them at uni at the same time!

Because they are able to borrow so little, DS2 technically would only have £230 for the whole year after paying for his halls and by some of the standards on here, they are not that expensive at £113 a week (tiny room, shared flat, no en-suites).

Well we pay the difference between accommodation and loan and pay her phone, travel, toiletries, clothes and she pays for her social life.
She chose the uni because they were one of only 5 that offered her course and she chose the college for the lifestyle She knew she would have a larger debt but is fine with that. We still have our lives to lead and DD2 to consider.

DS has found a house for next year - he will be sharing with three others. I am the guarantor for his part of the rent. It works out at exactly the same as we are paying this year and includes bills. The letting agency doesn't get the best reviews online, but nothing too terrible (slow to return deposit and some spurious deductions - but very low amounts - so a risk we were all willing to take)
We pay his accomodation, and he lives on the minimum loan that he is entitled to. He pays everything from this with the exception of his phone - so contact lenses, petrol, travel etc. When his phone contract finishes he will take that on too. It's amazing how much all the extras add up to - contact lenses £25 per month, train home (one weekend visit per term) £55, gym £15 per month (which, tbf, he uses all the time!), petrol £45 per tank etc.

Slight upset at DD's halls as they are arranged into floors or 'flats' of 12 students. 7 took themselves off to look at a house, leaving the other 5 taken by surprise. I think DD is finding it a bit stressful to have to think about next year already and the whole choosing a house business stressful too.

She would stay on campus next year, but is starting to gel with her housemates (apart from the going out drinking part!) but I can't advise her as I've not been through that decision myself.

THere's also news of the strikes. York finish by the 6th of Dec, which means that the strikes will straddle the penultimate and final week of the term.

Realistically a flat of 12 will split into more than one household as most students lets wouldn't have room for 12 students.

There are 8 in DD's flat in halls, and although DD likes all of her flatmates she isn't close to all of them. She is in a group of 6 who want to share - a couple from her flat, a couple from another flat and a one from her course. They just have more in common with each other (and they don't want to share with the ones who never clear up after themselves).

Does anyone know if it is cheaper if they share a house after paying rent and utilities or does it match up with halls?

Probably depends on the local rental market but I’ve found it a lot cheaper with the eldest. I think her halls worked out at approx £6000, her rent plus bills is usually around £350 per month so £4200 for the year.

Not all universities have enough halls of residence to allow second years to stay in them.

Oh of course a large flat would have to split fot next year. Its the secrecy of the large group coming back and the few finding they had been left out of the loop that came as a bit of a surprise.
Dd was always the one most likely to be left out of the loop as most of her flat like going out drinking and she does not.
There's a whole page on the uni website dedicated to students who want to stay living on campus so it is a thing, but I have told her not to assume there will be availability depending on next year's freshers intake.