Going to university (2019/20 academic year) - and the fledgling freshers are off!

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Previous thread

Goodness. The news since I last logged in isn't great.
Why are Bath dragging their feet so close to the start date? I hope you get it sorted by the weekend MrKlaw

I hope your DS makes a speedy recovery blametheparents. What bad timing.

A shared room sounds grim Benjispruce. I hope your DD can get a better room.

IMO universities are getting too greedy and just want bums on seats and don't seem to consider the implications regarding accommodation.

In other news DD has organised a time slot for dropping her off. Unfortunately Newcastle University and Northumbria university have the same start dates, and Newcastle are playing at home so the city is going to be rammed. Such poor planning

drsausage your DD sounds very organised now. Hope she is enjoying college? I wonder whether how engaged they are with the whole process at this point reflects how really ready they are to fly the nest?

DD has been at college for a just over a week. It's also been a week since one of her high school friends commited suicide - DD arrived at college in the morning, and got the news late afternoon.

Considering how devastated she was by the news, she's doing OK. She had a tough first few days, but she's starting to feel able to enjoy college without feeling guilty, and she still has times of feeling very sad, but is mostly settling in.

I do think she's found it easier because she was at boarding school for 4 years. She actually bought and packed far more for her first year at boarding school than she bought/packed for her first year at college - I guess she's more clear on what she'll really need.

Blame Hope he's better quickly. Sounds dreadful.

Benji I'd have hated to share too. I know when dd was choosing colleges she cut out any that had any sharing as she said that would be a deal breaker and she'd rather not go if she had to share.
Can they make contact with the person they share with? That might help.
Hope it can be sorted.

drsausage I’m so sorry to hear that. Your poor DD. It puts things in perspective somewhat. DD has calmed for now. We’ve done all we can and are hoping that she can be moved. She’s contacted her ‘frep’ who was very helpful and said some move or drop out by December but it’s those crucial first weeks and months I worry about. I have friends whose DC have left uni after first year due to depression and problems with rooms etc so I really wanted her to have the best possible start. Thank you so much for the support on here everyone, it really does help to know that others would struggle with this too and that I don’t have a precious DD.

although I shared when I went to uni it was a huge room and that was maybe more normal back then.

These days I think unis possibly shouldn’t be able to allocate a shared room if you don’t request it - or at least be willing to move if possible if you appeal. Maybe my DS is being too sensitive but I bet lots of students are similar and it could really affect how they settle in

"it really does help to know that others would struggle with this too and that I don’t have a precious DD."

I mentioned this to DD, and she said that sharing a room would be a deal breaker for her. I don't think your DD is being precious at all Benjisprue

What an awful thing for your DD to deal with drsausage. I hope she is OK.

So sorry to hear about your daughter’s friend @drsausage

For those worried about sharing, some of my daughter’s 1st year hall mates were sharing. They eventually were offered single rooms but decided to stay put as they got on and had made good friends in the accommodation. Perhaps the difference for them was that they had got a late post-results offer for medicine & so were prepared to put up with a shared room to get on the course.

Not sure if this is helpful, but I shared a room in my first year at uni. I still remember arriving on my first day and seeing all my room mate's stuff in there, but not her and anxiously waiting to see who she would be (trying to deduce from her stuff). In fact it was great. We got on like a house fire and I even chose to share again in my second year. There were quite a few shared rooms and I can't think of anyone who didn't get on. DD's friend has just started uni in the States and is sharing (with a mortician - "and I'm not even joking" as she herself said!). It's fine. If they have their own bathroom then even better - she can have a degree of privacy if she wants to change in there. I can see it's disappointing for her, but I'm sure it won't be as bad as she thinks and it might even be fun.

Thanks - I wanted to add that my struggle at the moment is with not over-crowding DD when she's been through a tough time but also needs to find her own feet.

I spent a few days with her after she got the news about her friend, but I've since come home. DH asked if I'd like to see her in a few weeks, but I feel that it's time to leave her to build her own life and not spend her weekends entertaining us.

She's 1700 miles away, so visiting her involves a flight and a hotel, but I would jump on the first flight if I felt she needed me.

It's hard to let your babies go.

@drsausage that's a really tough start for your DD But it sounds like you're supporting her just right.

DS text to say he thinks he's got his room allocation but he's not checked properly He would HATE a shared room.
I'm hoping he comes in from work soon!

@JennyWreny thanks for the heads up. I was in the middle of dyeing and cutting dds hair ehen i remenbered. She has checked and has her room number. Ground floor room.

Oh thank goodness. Not shared accommodation

It is in a postgrad block in the city so they’re clearly absolutely full. Only wrinkle now is its £7k for a 51 week lease on the website. Really hoping they’re doing a 36 week lease setting for undergrads

@benjispruce, DS's email says catered ensuite - did your DDs say twin/shared on it too? He didn't put down ensuite, and we won't be able to get up there to move him out in the holidays, but just want to be sure its not shared. Really hope your DD can get a move.

@MrKlaw, that's a relief, though not the cost!

@MrKlaw - phew. Really relieved for your DS (and for you). My DD (also going to Bath) is currently a bit concerned as the two people she's found on-line in her flat were both at school together and are doing the same course. Apparently they didn't ask to be together so a bit strange that the Uni folk decided to do that.

Been out all day so need to catch up on this thread.

Your poor DS @blametheparents. Hope he gets sorted in A&E and is feeling much better by the time he's due to go off to university.

@Benjispruce sorry to hear about your DD getting a shared room. What a total PITA. Not on that such rooms cost the same as singles. The UEA shared Ziggurats are really cheap (just under £3K for 38 weeks) which is as it should be.

Oh dear @MrKlaw a 51 week lease wouldn't be helpful (and would be costly) for your undergraduate. Of course, he could totally fall in love with Bath and want to stay up during the vacs...

I’ll give them an earful if they try and push a 51 week rental considering it’s not my fault they’re having to use postgrad spaces. Might even enjoy it as a bit of stress relief after the worry :) worst comes to the worst we can pay

Need to check if we need bedding though! Off to their website..

@drSausage so sorry to hear what your DD is going through and about her friend's suicide :-(. At this pivotal point in their lives, they can be very vulnerable, can't they?

Tilly it clearly said shared. Sounds like your DS has got the room of DD’s dreams!
Relieved for you MrKlaw

Atreus I agree that's strange. Putting people together from school is risky - suppose they didn't get on at school?! - and even if they do get on, surely part of the point is to get to know other people?

Benji I hope your dd gets a move - is this one of the colleges where the sharers only do a term, and then they get singles while others have to share the next term? If it's the whole year I have even more sympathy. If she put that she wasn't willing to share that suggests that fewer than 16 of the first years said yes to it!

DD told me tonight the en-suite is randomly allocated apart from those that apply for medical reasons.

There’s is no mention of a temporary share. It’s the whole first year.

There seems to be no point in saying you'll share if the cost is the same, is there?

Agree that university is about spreading one's wings, not putting people who were at school together in the same flat??? Mind you, the people in the accommodation office wouldn't be privy to that type of of info, would they?

@Benjispruce DS says he's going to ring them tomorrow to see if he can swap to a regular room where he can leave his stuff in the holidays. So if he can swap, maybe your DD will be lucky to get his single ensuite.

Being made to share is rubbish. Putting girls who already know each other together in the same flat is also rubbish. Are these decisions made by a computer rather than a real person?

Tilly wouldn’t that be great? I seriously doubt it though as he won’t want to swap into shared accommodation. I think it’s ridiculous giving en-suite to people who don’t want them . Why didn’t the form include a question about removing stuff in holidays?
If I remember rightly they can lock stuff under the bed.

It feels as if lots of your dc are already there or going soon. Ds first day is 29th September. I now wish I hadn't rushed about so much now! Nothing left to do!!