Going to university (2019/20 academic year) - and the fledgling freshers are off!

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Also Tilly DD had to email.

@benjispruce yes, what was the point of the form if thet dont take their requests seriously?

Clank is your DS going to Durham too? Happy with room allocation?

Ds has a 3.5hr lecture in Wednesday! I didn't think there would be anything for a week.

I'm quite glad DD1 doesn't have to move her stuff out in the holidays. The flipside, I guess, is that we have to pay for 38 weeks.

Unfortunately not everyone will get their first choice of accommodation. I really hope that all of those disappointed DCs can be pragmatic, and make the best of things. So difficult - you want it to be perfect for them....

Wow lectures already.

DS has been shopping today with OH whilst I got on with his packing. He tried doing it on his own, but was obviously overwhelmed and ignored my advice about laying stuff out on his bed to decide. The room was a bombsite of bags and clothes dirty and clean. All packed now in a way that is easy to unpack. And the washing machine is still going.... Tomorrow we dismantle the computer and start packing up the car. Then out for tea with family, back for an early night.

I am sort of glad we are so busy I have not had time to think too much about him leaving home.

Not at all precious not to want to share.
I suppose one upside might be if the other person moves out you then get a huge room (with a spare bed) and en-suite to yourself.

DD chose her college because she wanted to be self catered and liked that it is a shared kitchen with 6 en-suite bedrooms all over the college so no wondering about what type of accommodation.
But I'd hoped that they would let them make contact with the people they are sharing with-if nothing else they don't need 6 frying pans, 12 other pans, 6 can openers... taking up space in the kitchen.
She's rightly pointed out that giving contact details, or even names would be awkward under the data protection act.
What they should have done was ask them on the form they filled out for room allocation if they were happy for contact details to be passed on.

We're off to Ikea tomorrow. Not sure she actually needs anything, but apparently it's the right place to go before going to uni. I've never been and not sure that's a bad thing.

It still seems quite a long time before the 29th (or 28th she'll need to leave). Durham must be one of the latest.

It seems like the Durham room allocations have come out. @Benjispruce I'm so sorry to hear how upset your DD is. I shared a room in my first year and my room mate is now one of my best friends and she still reminds me how I burst into tears when I walked into the room when I found out I was sharing. I was ready to quit Uni on the first day. Hopefully it will work out for your DD. My DD has a shared room too but is OK about it, probably because after she sent the form in having ticked the 'I don't mind sharing box' I pointed out to her that she was highly likely to be sharing so to be prepared! She has been in contact with her room mate because they both agreed to data sharing. On paper they have similar interests but time will tell whether they get on. They are on completely different courses - a scientist and an arts student but that was the same for me. I would hope that if anyone was really unhappy they would move them rather than lose a student from the Uni. I think it's stressful enough going to Uni without all the stress about rooms and accommodation. It's times like this I just want to scoop them up, give them a kiss and put on the magic cream to make it better!

I'm feeling a bit tearful tonight. Spent the day with DD doing last things at Ikea and Boots, tomorrow we do a food shop and pack up the car. We will also go out for a special meal in the evening. Saturday we drive to Manchester. I'm a little perturbed that the tour of Britain cycle race will be arriving in Manchester city centre as we do. So we are allowing loads of extra travel time.

I will miss her terribly. I've been a lone parent for 11 years and we are very close - she really is a ray of sunshine. Her brother is still home doing his A levels this year, but he is more moody and less company.

I had her home for an extra year as she did a foundation course but now its for real. She's off an due her own adventures and independence. Its just feels awful. Help!!!

It is good to hear positive sharing stories however I feel that first years shouldn’t have to share unless they say they don’t mind. It’s a huge ask and not even cheaper. On their college website it says there are 555 single rooms and 16 shared. There are less than 500 freshers so surely they should get a private room unless they opt to share. Second or third year students can also apply to come back too.

Boule I’m sorry you feel so sad. Allow yourself to feel down for a short while. It’s like ripping a plaster off. But then hopefully you will heal and feel positive for you both. Sorry for the cheesy analogy.

boule, we have had many torrid times with my DS and he can be very diffident with me but I have seen him 365 days a year for 18 years (give or take a few trips to grandma and the odd school trip) and it's a huge hole. I feel just as you feel and that is absolutely OK.

It is a big change when they go off to uni and can be quite a wrench when they have been with us for 18 or more years, so not surprising you feel sad Boule.

@Benjispruce the sharing stories are all good so far ... if your DD doesn't get a move, may be she will also form a friendship with the other girl. And if the other girl actually moved out, she would have a huge room!

D, having studied all the info we could find, is now advising DS not to ask to swap as it looks like he would be entitled to claim some money back if he has to move all his stuff out which would cover the cost of storage or whatever...

Oh no Tilly you raised my hopes of a single en-suite for the taking like a glistening mirage in the distance only to snatch it away .
I’m clearly hysterical.

I doubt the money hungry uni finance department would leave a bed empty! They’d probably rent the bed out

God, it's not exactly good pastoral care, is it?

Still nothing about slots - maybe there aren't any, or maybe they'll spring that on us at the last moment.

Feeling wobbly and sad here too. Off tomorrow, long drive if we can ever fit the huge pile of stuff in our car. DD is excited but starting to show some nerves, when nervous, she toughs it out and pushes me away. I know I want her to be independent and fulfilled and happy (isn’t that what the last 18 years have been all about?) but there’s a part of me that still needs to be needed! Still it’s not about me, is it? Good luck to everyone dropping off this weekend, hope the accommodation issues can be resolved soon.

I know and because she’ll be so far from home it’s so important. She’s unlikely to be able to get home often(4 hr drive or £85 train with railcard)
HSBC have accepted her application but no account number given. Anyone know how long card takes to arrive?

Also feeling wobbly here too. Am just going to go with the feeling,everyone I've spoken to says it's normal and then they're home early December.

Yes my elder DD has finished her degree and it definitely gets easier and our relationship is different and better now. However she’s going back to do a Masters so her sisters departure tomorrow leaves an empty nest so lots to get used to. I’m so very proud of them both so guess as you say quite natural to feel a bit redundant!

We will have a completely empty nest, it'll take a but of getting used to!

@Benjispruce my son had appointment at hsbc fri. last week. The card arrived Tuesday. Pin yesterday. No paying in book though.

So we’re in postgrad accommodation in the city - does that mean no slot, we just turn up? No real info yet - will give it the weekend before ringing them on Monday

One negative being in the city is you’re away from the bustle of the campus - can’t easily just pop out and soak it in. We’re definitely suggesting to DS to check if he can go on a swap list - unless tons of freshers are down there it’ll be one small flat of 5 surrounded by postgrads. Even if he has to stay in the city a larger first year halls would be better for him otherwise I do think he’ll potentially get stuck in his room

MrKlaw my ds is a mile off campus in a student village of 4 roads of student accommodation. There are lots of unis that aren't campus at all and students make it work. It'll all work out ok.