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Higher education

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Original poster

DD spent some of her student loan on a holiday abroad

120 replies

Hilaryhilaryhilary · 09/06/2019 21:12

So DD has just booked herself over a week abroad travelling with her friends. It's to a country that she's learning the history of, so will go and visit many sites when she's there. Most of her friends are her couresemates. I asked how much this would cost and she said £1000, but don't worry she will get £500 from her summer job. So I asked where she'd get the other half from? Her student loan!

Should I be outraged she's spending her student loan on travelling? We aren't short of cash (pay all her bills, but absolutely no luxuries), but no way would we fund a holiday.

OP posts:
SpangledBoots · 09/06/2019 21:15

If she's saved the £500 from her loan payment then what's the problem? Or do you feel you've covered £500's worth of expenses so she could set it aside for her trip?

Userplusnumbers · 09/06/2019 21:15

Well is it actually a holiday, or a study trip?

What are acceptable things for her to spend money on?

BlessYourCottonSocks · 09/06/2019 21:16

How much is she expecting from you next year? Can you knock £500 off and point out if she could afford to spend that on a holiday that is fine but you're not funding it? If she needs the extra £500 from you then she couldn't afford the holiday.

jelly79 · 09/06/2019 21:17

Outraged about what? I'm confused? She is going on holiday and funding it herself in whatever way she chooses. No problem.

RangerLady · 09/06/2019 21:20

You need to let her start to manage her own money. My parents had literally no comment on my (perfectly reasonable) use of my money which included a 3 week interrail trip. It sound like she's hardly just going on the piss in Ibiza for a week. Make it clear you won't bail her out if she spends money she doesn't have if you like but it sounds to me like she's just becoming an adult in a quite functional way.

EleanorOalike · 09/06/2019 21:21

Whilst I don’t agree with it, as a University Tutor, I’d like you to know this is an extremely common occurrence!

The worst for it are the mature students in their 30s and 40s who use their loans to take the kids on family holidays to Disney World in Florida!

It’s up to them how they spend their money but it is difficult when I’ve got students with absolutely no family support being made homeless and who are genuinely struggling to make ends meet on their student loans.

If she can go on holiday with the money, maybe it’s a sign you shouldn’t be paying her bills for a while?

My friend spent her entire student loan for the year in TopShop when i was at university and her Mum had to bail her out for the rest of the year. She didn’t even graduate in the end. Fourteen years on though, she’s a very responsible Mum with a good job. Just because your DD is frivolous now, it doesn’t mean she’ll always be this way.

Mustbetimeforachange · 09/06/2019 21:21

My DD saved enough from her loan each year to pay for a (cheap) holiday. I never gave it a second thought, other than being impressed that she had managed to spend less than the minimum loan amount (we paid accommodation).

Expressedways · 09/06/2019 21:23

Does she have a plan to afford the next term at uni such as a term-time part time job? If yes then it’s not really any of your business and it would be ridiculous to be outraged. If she’s blown her loan on a holiday then expects more money from you to get through the next term then it’s entirely different and YWNBU to be extremely annoyed.

user1487194234 · 09/06/2019 21:23

Not your business,surely

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/06/2019 21:25

Her loan is exactly that. Her loan. Why is it of interest to you what she does with it?

BlueCornishPixie · 09/06/2019 21:27

It's her money, her business. What's she allowed to spend it on? Day trips? Alcohol? Clothes? You need to butt out tbh

Are you giving her money? If so I could see where you were coming from, and maybe giving her too much.

RamblingFar · 09/06/2019 21:30

She's obviously budgeted for it out of money she felt she had. I'm not really sure how you can object. What we're you expecting her to have spent that £500 of her loan on. If she'd gradually drunk it away over the course of the year at the students union on nights out would that have been OK? I can understand you pay towards other bills so could end up feeling resentful. But if you trusted her to budget and were supporting her socialising, then she should be able to spend her budget how she likes within reason. If you had said upfront that you wanted to limit how she spent it then perhaps that would have been slightly different, but she's only spent money she thought she has.

I used my student loan for a working 'holiday' each year. I went to Camp America. I ended up working with children in later life. Its actually been hugely beneficial to me. However you could have also said it was an unnecessary waste of my student loan and I could have got a summer job working with children in the UK.

Soontobe60 · 09/06/2019 21:30

When my DD was at Uni, we paid the balance in her accommodation and gave her an allowance each month. She got the minimum loan which was £1000 less than her accommodation! She worked part time in her first year, then had summer jobs in subsequent years. She had holidays every year but I know she scrimped and saved for them so didn't mind.

Wildorchidz · 09/06/2019 21:31

We aren't short of cash (pay all her bills, but absolutely no luxuries), but no way would we fund a holiday.

From the op.
Do people read posts properly??

JoJoSM2 · 09/06/2019 21:31

As long as she doesn't need bailing out, then it's not too bad. I'd probably just make sure she understands how these loans work and that the interest is higher than personal loans + you get landed with repayments for decades.

SinkGirl · 09/06/2019 21:33

This year’s loan, so she’s saved it up? Or next year’s loan, so she’s spending money she doesn’t have yet? If so, can she live on the rest?

Personally I wouldn’t have done this if my mum had been party funding me, but I didn’t get anything from her and my student loan barely even covered my rent in my last year. Then there was my flat mate who was funded totally by his parents and put the whole loan into ISAs every year!

GeorgeTheFirst · 09/06/2019 21:35

You need to stop paying her bills, give her an allowance and accept that she manages her own money. I have absolutely no idea how much money my student son has, other than at Christmas he was confident he had enough to last the year. She should have the control now, not you.

GreenTulips · 09/06/2019 21:39

Take she’s an adult and can take care of herself - sounds like a good investment

Deafdonkey · 09/06/2019 21:39

I learnt more through travel than in the lecture halls

negomi90 · 09/06/2019 21:40

Over 6 years of being very careful with money, I saved enough of my student loan to pay for 6 weeks study abroad, half my 2nd hand car (my parents paid the other half as a graduation present) and its tax.
My parents were proud of my budgeting.
I had student loan and extra family support to top it up (a set modest budget). How I spent my money within that was my business. I was careful, got myself nothing extra and saved.
Leave her alone as long as its left over from this years budget - also it sounds educational which gets her extra brownie points.

Gertruude · 09/06/2019 21:41

It's her income / her debt. She'll be paying it off for a long while regardless. These trips are a right of passage really. It doesn't sound as tho you're treating her like a grown up

BackforGood · 09/06/2019 21:42

I'm confused. OP can you clarify ?

Is this to benefit her course ? (You say she is going with coursemates, to visit sites that she is learning the history of)

or

"Just" a holiday ?

If it is a holiday that could have been anywhere, I'd be a bit cross she'd not learned about value for money, and getting a cheaper holiday than that.

Then,

Has she saved the £500 from this year's loan ? In which case, what is the issue? Confused

Also, are you paying her bills, over and above? So if so, what are you expecting her to do with her loan ?

titchy · 09/06/2019 21:43

She's budgeted for it, what's the problem? Mine gets a fixed budget each month - it's up to her what she does with it. She gets no extras and no bailing out and has to pay everything apart from rent which her loan pays. Same as if she was earning, which is how it should be surely? She's also on holiday abroad with uni friends - I doubt there'll be much in the way of cultural visits though Grin

blaaake · 09/06/2019 21:43

Considering the academic year has ended and there aren't any loan payments until September, then surely it's not irresponsible at all? She's saved up for a holiday. It's her money, not money you have given her.

EleanorOalike · 09/06/2019 21:45

I should have elaborated in my post. I think it’s important for students to travel at any opportunity I can. What I don’t think is ok is that those students who are lucky enough to get lots of parental or spousal financial support then blow their loan on holidays, clothes, partying etc when there are students who really struggle and have constant worries with only their loan and any part time work they can fit in around studies to survive on.

With the mature students going to Orlando that I mentioned, I’m still in contact 10 years later and they’ve all ensured they’ve never earned enough to pay back their loans and have no intention of paying it back. They had the attitude of it being free money.

With younger students, including my peers, as they’ve moved up the ladder they’ve really regretted being saddled with student debt. One of my friends tells everyone she drank £15,000 down the drain at university and is still paying for it plus interest. A lot of young people never had it explained to them how loans and interest work and I’m sure if they did, those who do get financial support wouldn’t be as frivolous with their loans.

The issue here is not your daughter travelling - that’s what she should be doing. It’s the fact that she’s travelling on her loan money whilst you are funding her bills etc that I think it’s unfair.