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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

DD spent some of her student loan on a holiday abroad

120 replies

Hilaryhilaryhilary · 09/06/2019 21:12

So DD has just booked herself over a week abroad travelling with her friends. It's to a country that she's learning the history of, so will go and visit many sites when she's there. Most of her friends are her couresemates. I asked how much this would cost and she said £1000, but don't worry she will get £500 from her summer job. So I asked where she'd get the other half from? Her student loan!

Should I be outraged she's spending her student loan on travelling? We aren't short of cash (pay all her bills, but absolutely no luxuries), but no way would we fund a holiday.

OP posts:

wafflyversatile · 09/06/2019 23:33

Its her money for her to manage. If she can have a holiday on her budget good for her. Do you think life should just be drudgery?

LellyMcKelly · 09/06/2019 23:35

She’s going on a study trip for 10 days, not 6 weeks off her head on cocaine in Ibiza.If my daughter wanted to do this I’d support her. It’s a great opportunity and one that will be less easy to do once she finishes uni and has a full time job.

Heartofglass12345 · 10/06/2019 01:45

I'm going against what most people have said here, her parents are funding it! She doesn't pay any bills so has loads of extra money! I ran out of money loads of times in uni and had to resort to using a credit card to live. Me and lots of my friends had jobs.
If her parents weren't paying her bills she would have to budget properly. She should be paying her own bills, that's what student loans are for. I would make her pay her own bills from next year and help her out if needed.
No wonder there are so many young adults around who don't have a clue how to budget or anything when they're being spoilt. She can go on holiday when she's working!

MarchingFrogs · 10/06/2019 06:53

Problem obviously is, the OP has been well and truly had, hasn't she? - her DD has found a way of providing herself with even less in the way of 'luxuries' during the academic year, which the OP's contribution to her living expenses wasn't to fund, and has managed to save up for one almighty and thoroughly disapproved of 'luxury' now.

So just knock £500 off what you give her next year? Or even £1000, to make up for what she managed to save from this year's money. Simples.

RubberTreePlant · 10/06/2019 07:00

I think you're infantalising her.

Mrsjayy · 10/06/2019 07:08

Thats on her parents surely she is being funded by her parents maybe her parents should stop paying bills for her ?

Reallybadidea · 10/06/2019 07:54

My son has been incredibly frugal at university and will have managed to save some of what we've given him to pay off part of his student loan when he graduates. Should I have reduced what we give him as he obviously doesn't need it all? In practice it's no different to using the money for a holiday.

TreadingThePrimrosePath · 10/06/2019 08:02

It’s not a jolly holiday, it’s an enhancement to her course and her learning, and if she were mine, I’d have paid half. Visiting sites, travelling with knowledgeable companions...fantastic idea.
If I wasn’t in a position to do that, then I’d certainly support her decision. Rather than focusing on how an adult manages money and disapproving.
But I come from a community and family of academics, artists and musicians, so my priorities may be different to the majority.

donajimena · 10/06/2019 08:04

Its better than pissing the money up the wall. She might have eaten nothing but lentils for the term to budget for this. I'd be proud.

ZaZathecat · 10/06/2019 08:07

She can spend her loan however she wants. Most students choose beer and weed, I reckon she's doing really well!

whatthehelldowecare · 10/06/2019 08:09

I took the full whack of student loan I could and while my intentions were to live off money from my (just about full time) job and save the loan, it's never happened and I spent it all every summer on holidays and festivals etc. Now I have £30k of student loan to repay, but I don't regret it in the slightest. It's as close to a free loan as you'll ever get and I had some amazing experiences because of it. It's my problem to get it paid back and I'm very happy to do so - infact I'm making overpayments to make sure it's taken care of. She's a grown up, she can do what she wants with her own money/loan

TreadingThePrimrosePath · 10/06/2019 08:11

And for those if you saying she can go on holiday when she’s graduated with a job, are you missing the point of travelling with fellow students? As if it were a field trip? Completely different experience on your own, you miss the extra input and the possibility of bouncing theories and conversations off each other.

Mrsjayy · 10/06/2019 08:14

I don't understand the Op problem the classmatws have decided to visit somewhere they are studying madness

TheRedBarrows · 10/06/2019 08:20

So she has budgeted to save £10 per week through the year to pay for a trip, with course mates, that will support her studies?

I went to Greece as a student (using my grant, natch) and one of the things I did while there transformed my understanding of the career I am still in.

OP, you are not poor and struggling. She will be working in her summer job to pay half.

I am depressed by this miserable punitive attitude to young people wanting to travel, and by the micro-managing of their finances.

She hasn’t asked you to bail her out beyond the money you already give.

So congratulate her on good budgeting and choice if trip.

And FFS to a pp: she isn’t going to Disney, she is going to a place relevant to her studies.

waltzingparrot · 10/06/2019 08:26

Reallybadidea - You may want to watch a video by the money expert, Martin Lewis. He explains why part paying off student loans on graduation is almost always unnecessary and just throwing your money away.

Loopytiles · 10/06/2019 08:28

I didn’t travel much as a student due to my parents’ views and them funding me. I still regret it!

Key thing IMO is whether she’s doing all she can to do well and build up her CV in order to compete for graduate jobs.

Mustbetimeforachange · 10/06/2019 08:28

Reallybadidea the worst thing your son could do is pay off part of his loan when he graduates. It's the worst of both worlds. Read Martin Lewis on the subject.

goodbyestranger · 10/06/2019 08:30

I'm struggling to see what would be wrong with a complete jolly, exclusively for sun, sea, enjoyment. Young people need holidays. I certainly wouldn't ask mine to justify theirs as curriculum or work related. The attitude is so straight laced. They're young, work hard at uni and need to mix it up in the holidays or they'll be stale when the new term starts which won't do anyone any good.

Ninkaninus · 10/06/2019 08:31

Haven’t RTFT but this would definitely not be a problem for me.

I cannot understand how any parent would begrudge their child the chance to travel, see the world and broaden their mind.

Would you have felt better had she just spent that money on weekends out throughout the year like many of her peers? - I wouldn’t begrudge my child the choice to do that, either, mind. But I’d certainly never, ever complain at her - shock, horror - wanting to spend some of her money on a holiday that’s relevant to her course!

PostNotInHaste · 10/06/2019 09:13

I totally don’t have a problem with this, my DD is spending the summer travelling and I think good on her. She works as well and lives frugally as has decided travel is important to her. She’l be practising a language relevant to her degree and I think it’s great she gets to go off and see different things. We don’t have any input into how she spends her money though she does ask for advice sometimes.

Was saying to a friend that DD saves each month and she asked if I was going to ask for the money we give her back as her DD is the same. I said absolutely not as that is effectively penalising her for budgeting carefully. In her case she has another DD who spent all they give her and I pointed out she’d be really unfair on the one who budgeted well.

Reallybadidea · 10/06/2019 09:32

Yeah I know the Martin Lewis advice. I think he's right in general but not necessarily for everyone in all circumstances.

BubblesBuddy · 10/06/2019 09:33

I agree goodbye!!! Why can’t students have frivolous holidays? Mine did from time to time and we paid for them! DD1 saves up from her year abroad and bought an iPad. All this gnashing of teeth and making sure students don’t spend their money on what they want to seems over the top to me. I like happy non resentful DC! Having fun never did anyone any harm and this generation will be working until they are 70!

BlueCornishPixie · 10/06/2019 10:57

Eleanor

But what are the husbands/wives of mature students supposed to do?

"Sorry love I'm not going to support you through your course because you have to live like a poor student"

Or "you have to spend this loan on food and bills. But now I have money free, because I'm not paying food or bills so I'm going to go to Orlando. But sorry because your a student you can't go"

You're being ridiculous. Also why would anyone purposefully not earn enough money to pay it off? That's just stupid. If you start earning above the threshold your still getting more money even though you're paying loan? It's not like anyone is going to go, hang on heres a job paying 40k, but I don't want to pay my loan so I'm going to stick with my 20k job.

Userplusnumbers · 10/06/2019 12:09

@Heartofglass12345

But she has budgeted, she's saved from her part time job, and saved part of her loan.

Clearly she's managing her money well - your stance is that she shouldn't have money for holidays, so she'd have been better of spending an extr twenty quid a week on booze - same amount of money over the year, but nothing to show. Budgeting is not a zero sum game.

happyhillock · 10/06/2019 12:21

So you pay some of her bill's and she saves for a holiday, i wouldn't be happy either.

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