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Higher education

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Original poster

DD spent some of her student loan on a holiday abroad

120 replies

Hilaryhilaryhilary · 09/06/2019 21:12

So DD has just booked herself over a week abroad travelling with her friends. It's to a country that she's learning the history of, so will go and visit many sites when she's there. Most of her friends are her couresemates. I asked how much this would cost and she said £1000, but don't worry she will get £500 from her summer job. So I asked where she'd get the other half from? Her student loan!

Should I be outraged she's spending her student loan on travelling? We aren't short of cash (pay all her bills, but absolutely no luxuries), but no way would we fund a holiday.

OP posts:
EleanorOalike · 09/06/2019 21:45

At any opportunity they can (can you tell I need a holiday myself Blush?)

SleepingStandingUp · 09/06/2019 21:47

Presumably you agreed I nadvance what you would pay : bills.

Did you expect her to save some of her loan and pay you back?
Or save it for rent when she comes home in the holiday?
Has she been moaning all term she's starving and you've had to bail her out?

Ifot, I what actually is the issue? She's budgeted well to save up from her job and her student loan to afford a trip that will be educational and a wonderful experience.

Would you rather she spent it all in beer and clothes?

puppy23 · 09/06/2019 21:48

I've had enough left over from my student loan for four holidays this year - why not treat yourself if you've got the money?

PotteringAlong · 09/06/2019 21:48

But you’re not funding it? She is?

Drogosnextwife · 09/06/2019 21:49

What bills of hers do you pay?
Can't see the problem, of how it's any of your business. Does she not deserve a holiday?

BubblesBuddy · 09/06/2019 21:50

Except she possibly won’t pay it off!!! No bank loan for a holiday will be paid for over 29 years or not at all. It’s not a bank loan. It’s a graduate tax and most posters here don’t seem to understand that.

Also, it’s great she wants to travel and see what she’s learning about. What miserable parents not to understand this. Maybe you should have taken her? That’s what well off people do - support their DC. Thank God she doesn’t have a year abroad! You’d freak out.

LynetteScavo · 09/06/2019 21:56

So you pay her accommodation, food etc and she has £4000 to spend on luxuries? She's decided she'd like to save some of that for a holiday.

You're inadvertently funding her holiday/drinking/meals out/clothes she doesn't need. If you don't want to stop paying all of her essential bills and let her use her loan.

I make my DS pay his own bills from his loan, then fund the luxuries. because I'm a control freak And I probably would pay for this holiday.

JoJoSM2 · 09/06/2019 21:57

BubblesBuddy yes, the loans have been designed as 'graduate tax' but they are still loans. You can earn 100k and not pay a penny of this 'graduate tax' and that's because it's a loan that you pay back only if you took it out in the first place.

OhTheRoses · 09/06/2019 21:57

I don't really see the problem. I hope she has a wonderful time.

Brenna24 · 09/06/2019 21:58

Travel is very important. There is no better way of learning about a countrywoman being there. I think that saving money to travel to the country that she is studying for her degree is far more responsible than drinking it all in the student's union. I say good for her, I hope that she really enjoys her trip and gets a lot from it.

Myfoolishboatisleaning · 09/06/2019 22:00

I thought that is what they all did? I think it is an excellent use of money, I would rather my kids spent money on travel than “things” (clothes, phones, etc)

Mrsjayy · 09/06/2019 22:02

My dd put some of hers as a deposit for a car she chose to stay at home at go to a uni an hour away her car halved her commute it really isn't a huge deal imo. It is their loan that they need to pay back once they start earning enough I think you need to relax about it.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 09/06/2019 22:02

I think you need to decide how much money you are prepared to give your daughter, then how she spends it is her business.

My DS liked to live in a decent flat, go to gigs and festivals. DD1 lived in a bit of a shithole and went to lots of house parties and cheap events. She used her spare money for travel and holidays.

CripsSandwiches · 09/06/2019 22:06

I agree with PP. If she spent her loan in advance then expected you to bail her out that's one thing. If she put some aside to travel I don't think you can complain - I'm assuming you weren't expecting her to give you any money back.

Stopyourhavering64 · 09/06/2019 22:07

My dd graduates this year and has used some of her final student loan to go on long haul adventure with a uni friend ....as she said she's going to be working for the next 40+ years so I don't have any problem with that!

NicciLovesSundays · 09/06/2019 22:13

@Hilaryhilaryhilary
It would be interesting to know more about why you feel you should be outraged. Is it that you dont want your daughter to have student debt, that you dont want her to have a holiday, that you dont want to support her as much financially as you do or something else entirely? Do you take holidays yourself and does your daughter still go with you on family holidays?

sergeilavrov · 09/06/2019 22:15

I think Eleanor definitely needs a holiday... the vast majority of students are not going to Disney on their loans and it's important that we don't create a distorted reality on this thread.

I think your daughter sounds like she's making a great decision. Using her time off to further her area of study in the field, having budgeted for it within the means she has. A lot of parents help out, and that's a decision you made. If you gave her cash for the bills, and then she spent it on the trip and didn't manage to pay her bills - I would see your point. But she hasn't, she's used your cash for what it is earmarked for, and worked/saved hard to go on this trip.

She sounds like a great girl, I hope she has a wonderful time! I didn't receive any parental support as a student, but used bits of my scholarships/stipends/conference awards to travel. I saw the world and it gave me the job I have today.

MorondelaFrontera · 09/06/2019 22:19

you are not paying for it ,she is.
Clarify if she is spending last year, or the next.

If it's last year, would it make a difference to you if she had spend this £500 on booze, clothes, make-up, fast food over the last 7 or 8 months?
Holiday - and a study trip as is - is better, surely. I don't get the outrage

Mrsmadevans · 09/06/2019 22:22

Sounds as if it's more of a study trip tbh OP.

Darkcloudsandsunnydays · 09/06/2019 22:22

Your daughter is an adult in her own right. If you follow this route you risk estrangement.

Knittedfairies · 09/06/2019 22:22

If she'd called this 'holiday' a field trip/study trip linked to her course, would you be having this conversation?

goodbyestranger · 09/06/2019 22:24

I wouldn't bat an eye lid. They all need a break and it sounds as though hers is more cultural than most - not that it should have to be.

TatianaLarina · 09/06/2019 22:26

If it’s a country she’s studying and she’s visiting lots of sites I’d be all for it personally. It shows enthusiasm and initiative, and it will help her course.

avalanching · 09/06/2019 22:29

None of your business really, unless you're subsidising her in some way I guess. I did this and had a fab time, no regrets. Don't ever remember my mum commenting.

CountFosco · 09/06/2019 22:30

I did exactly this when I was a student thirty years ago. Loans had just been introduced and I lived on my grant and the money I got from my parents. I worked in the summer and used that money plus my loan to go interrailing. It was the first time I went abroad and I learnt such a lot when I travelled round Europe (including Eastern Europe) with my friends. It's a rite of passage surely?