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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Applying for Uni 2019 Part 5: UCAS, offers and exam season looming

992 replies

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 19/03/2019 13:09

New thread started. Here's the previous one

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Itscoldouthere · 18/04/2019 10:13

VanCleefArpels I’m glad I’m not the only one 😊
Yes I’m nosey too, generally I’ve been so impressed with what student life seems to offer these days, it’s miles away from when I went to Art College years ago, but for me, they were such transformative years, and I wish the same for my DS wherever he chooses to go.

Marchingfrogs I didn’t realise they could claim in their own right for student finance, that’s very interesting.

justasking111 · 18/04/2019 15:06

I just want them to be happy and fulfilled in whatever course they choose knowing they have parents to back them up all the way back at home. It is an exciting, terrifying, lonely journey they are about to embark on. So hold them close with open arms.

Itscoldouthere · 18/04/2019 15:34

I agree, when I went my mum wasnt involved at all, it was a bit scary and I had no financial back up, just my grant and whatever I could earn from part time jobs to keep me in food and nights out.
I never went to live back home again either so it must have been quite dramatic for my mum.
We are much more involved in DS life, but not so much that it’s a problem for him and I think he quite likes having us around 😂

minesawine · 18/04/2019 16:13

I have also loved going to the open days and offer holder days, and at times have been more excited than my DS with his shrugging and eye rolling at my never ending questions. His actions did make it very clear which uni's he liked and which he clearly did not. It has been good going on our road trips together and even better when accompanied by my DD. But I am so not ready for him to leave home and it takes all my strength to keep upbeat about it all as I don't want my feelings to influence the rest of his life. He will be too far away to come home regularly and that is just another dagger to my heart. At the same time I am excited for him and a bit jealous of his new adventure. So many conflicting emotions Confused

Ragwort · 18/04/2019 16:35

I've loved the Open Days too and have probably asked more questions than my DS, much to his embarrassment.

To be honest I am looking forward to him leaving home, he is super confident in new situations and I have no concerns there, and am looking forward to getting a tidy, peaceful home back Grin.

However, judging by the complete lack of interest and motivation for any revision or prep for the exams I have a feeling he might be going nowhere ...I am fully prepped already with where to apply through clearing .........

TapasForTwo · 18/04/2019 17:52

Please keep your feelings to yourself minesawine. DD's boyfriend found his mother clingy and claustrophobic so he went to university as far away as he could so she couldn't just turn up on a Sunday afternoon. He rarely returns home either.

Original poster
NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 18/04/2019 18:07

I'm not really thinking that far ahead (to when DS starts university) - I'm reserving judgement until I see how he does in his A Levels. Know his predictions are high (and he's worked hard form them IMHO) BUT this is the boy who let himself down in his GCSEs. So I'm being quietly cautious and not getting ahead of myself.

His paternal grandmother is dead set on him getting into Durham and is clearly convinced that he will. She has even started buying additional items for DS's 'bottom drawer'.

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ZandathePanda · 18/04/2019 18:45

To my shame I fell asleep and started snoring in one of the taster lectures. To be fair we had been up since the crack of dawn, it was raining outside so steamy in the theatre and I had a thick cold. Dd was suitably mortified. Grin
She’s chosen a uni further away......

Xenia · 18/04/2019 18:48

Marching, I kow. With my first we did have a written agreement she and I signed that in consideration of my funding her with no student loans she undertook to take out no loan and not incur other debt or overdraft. I didn't bother with the others and they have stuck to the deal and I do trust them. Also if they broke the contract after I'd finished funding them I would not be able to stop the payments as they would already havce been made by me and I certainily would not sue them. I think we just all have 100% certainty and trust between us of the "deal".

None of the 5 have so far been tempted by the "extra" £4k a year. They would probably regard it as not fair play either that I had funded them on the basis they took out no loans and then did the dirty on me anyway. Also that might mean I didn't help those who haven't bought a property yet with that as they would have undermined our understanding.

minesawine · 18/04/2019 19:47

Thanks for the advice Tapas but I suspect he will be as bad as me on the day. We are super close and I think he will miss home a lot. But it's his time to shine and get out in the world. Until he wants a home cooked meal or his washing done Halo

MarchingFrogs · 19/04/2019 01:32

I didn’t realise they could claim in their own right for student finance, that’s very interesting

Um, yes - it's Student Finance...? It's the student going to university; who else would be the applicant for and recipient of the loan? (Coming back to this thread way past my bedtime, due to long distance drama re DS1 and Chiltern Railways, I'm reading the comment as 'straight', hereSmile)

The applicant only has to ask for parents to be involved if they want to to claim any of the means tested portion of the maintenance loan to which they may be entitled. Everyone is entitled to the basic amount.

Itscoldouthere · 19/04/2019 09:01

MarchingFrogs I though you had to be either already living away from home or over 21 for parents income not to be taken into account. Of course I know it’s them thats making the claim.
My eldest DS already has student finance, I didn’t get involved in his application, he just asked us how much we earned, but I was under the impression that because he lives at home he had to get us involved, that’s what I meant by my previous comment.
I’m obviously wrong.

Original poster
NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 19/04/2019 11:37

Speaking of student loans, has anyone's DC actually had official confirmation of how much they will ultimately receive? DS received a standard letter confirming eligibility for the minimum one about a week after he's registered to apply. However, the suggestion was that he'd receive a revised figure once SFE had taken into consideration parents' earnings. Seem to think that he should have received it by now?

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AtiaoftheJulii · 19/04/2019 11:53

Ds has just had a second SFE letter this week, saying he'll get the minimum. (Didn't ask for anything else.)

Itscoldouthere as Marching says, everyone's entitled to the basic amount. There's no parental input needed for that application, and the student-to-he can, as you have seen, complete it by themselves. If your son had wanted/needed to get your income taken into account, I think you would have had to give some evidence. (Can't quite remember.)

Original poster
NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 19/04/2019 12:38

Atia think we just had to give NI numbers and details of interest income from savings, pensions etc... I think these says any organisations dealing with money can harvest financial information directly, can't they?

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minesawine · 19/04/2019 14:08

DS has had confirmation of SFE. £5k has been awarded which is great and works out to around £100 per week for food, toiletries and partying, which I think is plenty to live on as I am paying for his accommodation and phone. Glad he doesn't have to work, but equally happy if he gets a job.

FrameyMcFrame · 20/04/2019 07:28

I'm planning to complete the student finance stuff next week. I started it but got confused...

Shimy · 20/04/2019 08:49

Just to addwith comments upthread, we also really enjoyed the applicant dayvisits. The staying in a hotel overnight etc We were really excited.
And DS commented that we should go away for a weekend just the two of us more often Smile. It’s funny we bonded in the most unexpected place.

MarchingFrogs · 20/04/2019 11:14

Shimy, unlike when DS1 was looking, when DH and I split visits equally, I got to go to all of DD's open and applicant days - bar a couple of places she went to with friends - and enjoyed all of them. Bar Exeter, possibly, but that was mainly due to the weather, which was hot and sticky. There, I felt little enthusiasm to do anything other than stick with DS2 and sit on a wall for most of the time that DD was attending talks. We did visit the Bill Douglas Cinema Museum, though, which is tucked away in a rather un-prepossessing building, but quite interesting. DD got more out of the day (which was obviously the main thing) and liked the university enough to apply, but not to pursue it post-offer.

I have to say that at timrs there was a definite feeling of the old film, If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium, tbough...

TapasForTwo · 20/04/2019 12:19

Same here Marching. DD and I ended up doing 3 lots of open days because she was so undecided. The Bristol one was the most expensive, but it was worth doing as she really didn't like Bristol.

MarchingFrogs · 20/04/2019 16:12

The Bristol one was the most expensive, but it was worth doing as she really didn't like Bristol.

We 'did' Reading on the way to Bristol, both of which were attractive on paper and both of which she really didn't like - Bristol more so than Reading. Very nice lunch at each of them, though, almost as good as Leeds, or the green chicken curry which rounded off our campus tour at Kent, or the Thai beef salad and possibly the best flapjacks in Norfolk at the UEA applicant day...!

Actually, I've just remembered that I did offload one applicant day- although I actually really wanted to go to Leeds again, I felt I had to try to get DH to go, as, like me, he had never been to either the city or the university. Apparently the food was pretty good on that occasion, as well (you see where our non-academic priorities lie...?), but despite this, DD has now firmed Birmingham.

So if anyone wants to lnow where in B29 some of the best falafel on the planet are to be had, please feel free to askGrin.

ifonly4 · 20/04/2019 18:52

minesawine - I don't think there are many on here who won't have the same feelings in the next few months. DD moved away to a Sixth form, and to be honest I spent half the summer being excited for her, the other half dreading it. I held it together, but found the last few minutes before saying goodbye tough. If she gets into her chosen unis, she'll be 350/400 and with working weekends, I'll hardly see her. Hopefully we can all support eachother around the time if needs be.

We haven't heard from SFE with a final figure, but hoping it'll cover her £6700 accommodation fee.

justasking111 · 20/04/2019 19:00

I`m doing the last time stuff now. Last Easter break, last day at school. It is all getting to be so final. He had a week away two weeks ago, the house was so quiet, the dog was lost.

LIZS · 20/04/2019 19:03

You have to log in to Student Finance to see what the final figures are, under Letters and Emails. You won't even get email notification to do so. Otherwise we think you will eventually get a letter.

Original poster
NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 20/04/2019 19:12

DS has his leavers' dinner in just under a week....Another week at school and then that would officially seem to be it, exams aside. Not even sure if there's a leavers' assembly as such.

It seems hardly any time at all since we took him to his 'taster' day in the nursery of his primary school. Where have those 15 years gone????

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