One week on and I can't stop crying since Ds left for Uni.

[NewChapter11]

I'm gobsmacked and frankly embarrased with how awful I feel.
Since last Saturday I've lost half a stone through lack of appetite, cried everyday while managing to get myself in a stress induced insomniac state.
DS on the other hand, is having the time of his life and can barely be bothered to text.
I really want to treat this as a new chapter in my life, however I have fibromyalgia which means life is about pacing, being careful and not "chucking yourself out there too much."
I feel frustrated, isolated but obviously happy for ds - I just failed to realise that Empty Nest Syndrome is a genuine condition lol.

I will be like this. Good on you for not letting him have any idea how you feel.

I reckon when DS goes I'll have to either get a really hardcore job or a puppy.

Ah OP that is really sweet! Have a from me.

Try and congratulate yourself on the great job you have done. Feel proud that he’s successfully transitioned to the next stage of his life. Think about what you might like to do to fill the void. Hobbies, going to new places, volunteering etc. There will be something.

I’m not sure this amount of angst is “normal”. It’s ok to be sad but not crying all the time. Can you find someone to talk to? Your child is only at university in the uk I assume. It’s not Australia! You will see him fairly soon.

It is real. Allow yourself to wallow for a short period of time but then you must pick yourself up and carry on - or then see the doctor as it does seem a bit of an extreme reaction.

Massive hugs from me - last year my son left for university, this summer he got married!

Funnily enough I was fine when his sister left for university but I broke my heart when she started work. I cried for weeks.

Ill join you. Dropped her off and it feels a bit odd with her not mooching around. I have chronic illnesses too so I can't be doing too much, pacing here as well.

My dd has just left for second year - before today I actually felt much better than I did last year but today I am breaking my heart. It's been just wonderful having her here over the long summer - I will miss her so much. I can't think of anything good about her not being here.

I'll be the same when DD leaves - she has such joie de vivre! I'm planning on getting a rescue dog and a gin habit to help me cope.

[Flowers] OP

Try that again

I feel your pain! When my youngest left, I was bereft for about 2 months. Then she came back for Christmas and I couldn't wait for her to return😱😱😱

It will pass believe me.

And if anyone can give me any tips to stop the tears I would be very grateful. I had loads of things I needed to do today but my eyes are so red raw I can't leave the house!!

Thanks for the cake, flowers and hugs.
Feeling relatively sad I imagine is pretty normal but I'm guesssing I'm beyond that spectrum what with the constant wailing and impending gloom. Going to give it another week and if no better may consider seeing my doctor.
It would possibly be a bit easier if ds went through the 'bratty stage' at some point in his teenage years, but he's always been a complete joy
Mummyprinces No tips just yet. The layers of under eye concealer isn't much cop either.

Newchapter11 I completely understand this feeling. My DD was dropped off today for her first year . She is my baby - her brother and sister are both over 10 years older and well through university. I was excited for both of them when they left, but this one is my baby and we have been very close and as a single parent it's just been her and me for over 10 years. I have been really dreading this day for about 3 years and the pain I've felt today has been incredible. Physical as well as emotional pain. I feel my purpose in life has been taken away. The silence in the house when I got back earlier was horrible and her room looks empty.

You are not alone; I have been in tears all week after dropping daughter over 400 miles away 2 weeks ago. I know it’s the right place for her; and so proud of her; because she hasnt’t had a straight forward journey to uni ; but had no idea how sad I would feel at times.
Just miss hugging her and seeing her face everyday, and hearing all about the stuff she loved to chat about; bands she was following, books she was reading.
She gets excited about the things she loves, and I miss her day to day chat. She has texted, but she’s obviously busy and getting on with her uni life; like she should be; but I miss her energy, and I have to go through it all again with her siblings soon.

Whatever anyone says; I think it’s probably perfectly normal to be bereft at the moment; we have had these amazing people in our lives every day for 2 decades, I am ok wallowing at the moment. I do fear the sadness will continue though, but for now I am digging my wallowing hole; because no amount of yoga, hiking, swimming, evening class, or other worthy pastime could come anywhere near the joy I feel when I see my girl. So let me wallow!

or other worthy pastime could come anywhere near the joy I feel when I see my girl

@OddOneOut72
both your posts are lovely and express how I feel about my DD. Her passion for life and her sheer loveliness (she doesn't take after me!) make her an absolute joy to have around.

Wallow away!

I can understand OP, it will get easier, it’s early days and you will adjust.

Thank you for the kind words HurricaneFloss. You made me laugh about the “she doesnt’t take after me”!; I feel the same!😂

Oh thank goodness I’m not the only one.. I’m wallowing too... DD is having a fab time and that makes me v happy but I miss her every second of every day.. a part of me is missing.. I know I have to get used to it.. I don’t think she will be back ( and I don’t blame her- she has escaped and I want her to run free) ... friends with kids who are slightly younger don’t understand so for now I’m avoiding people and wallowing...

DD is off to uni next year, and I already feel sick about it. Completely understand how you must be feeling

Thank goodness it’s not just me! Packed my DS off on Friday. The accommodation he’s moved into seems very quiet, and he seems to be alone in the flat most of the time. He’s really shy, but I think he was looking forward to the opportunity to meet new people, so this isn’t what he was expecting. He’s feeling like everyone else in the building is mixing and he’s being left behind. 😢

I’m surprised they haven’t laid on some activities Teddy- or is he maybe just not interested? Will they have Freshers week? I encouraged mine to try some new things and join some things she’s been doing in school (music, sport), and last week I had to text her about some admin and she was at Rugby practice! Definitely new for her. Don’t know if she joined anything else.

Oh can I join you? Just dropped DS off and I can’t believe how unbelievably sad I feel. He’s 20, had to work really hard to get into uni as he left school with nothing so I’m incredibly proud of him. He was so excited to go but I’m breaking my heart. I didn’t show him mind!

He's tried, but theres nothing for him to do. Freshers starts tomorrow, so hopefully he will start meeting people with similar interests, and I think the majority of people moving into the flat will be international students, so they should move in this week as well, but these last few days have been agonising. X