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DS1 off to Uni and I'm struggling
102

gingina · 17/08/2018 21:03

That's it really. He's my first born and it's just hit me that he's really going. He's got his A levels and secured his place. He's so excited and I'm trying not to show it but I'm feeling devastated.
Someone give me a slap and tell me I'm a silly cow!!!

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user1486076969 · 17/08/2018 21:04

He needs to spread his wings, embrace it.

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LooseHipsWobbleShips · 17/08/2018 21:13

It will be ok, honestly. Deep breaths and hang on in there. He'll make you proud xx

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Sidge · 17/08/2018 21:16

They keep coming back.

DD has finished her first year and has been home for nearly 3 months....

He’ll have a blast and you’ll be fine. Think of it as the next stage.

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OhYouBadBadKitten · 17/08/2018 22:05

I'm telling myself it's like boarding school (which I have no experience of) with fewer rules.

It is a massive change. Tonight I heard the geese getting ready to leave and thought 'all change'. We need to be brave, we've done a good job.

Start thinking about what you can do that's new for you in the autumn.

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gingina · 17/08/2018 22:39

I know you are all right and thank you so much for the replies. He goes on 16th sept so I just have to put on a brave face for a month!!
Maybe the thought of him going is worse than the reality ??? (Hopeful face!!)

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annandale · 17/08/2018 22:42

Agree it shows you have done so much right. They get the fun, we just have to rock in a corner...

I have a friend whose two youngest are off this Sept. She has taken on the most horrifically huge voluntary job (think running British Athletics but a different sport) to try and distract herself. Shows how tough it is. Maybe some nice treats - trip away with partner or friend in Sept?

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PUGaLUGS · 17/08/2018 22:48

Honestly it will be fine.

My home bird DS1 graduated last month. He was the most quiet sensitive boy who never came out of his room. He has bloomed so much.

It hard in the beginning getting used to them not being in the house but that feeling does fade.

Such exciting times for them.

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Sidge · 17/08/2018 22:52

Mine too pugalugs. My DD is a right hermit, had a tricky couple of years at sixth form but has really blossomed in her first year. She found her tribe and is loving her course.

gingina you’ll be ok. It’s quite exciting and whilst it’s weird when they’ve gone it’s wonderful to wave them off knowing you’ve given them roots and wings (cheesy but true).

And they’re back before you know it!

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PUGaLUGS · 18/08/2018 08:22

Aww that’s great Sidge

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feltcarrot · 18/08/2018 08:25

I have a DD going into her third year and DS just about to go. I wasn’t worried about DD but DS is such an introvert, not into parties drinking or sports. He has his group of friends at home who all enjoy the same geeky gaming scene but I am so worried that he will struggle to make friends at uni and spend all his time in his room. ☹️

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gingina · 18/08/2018 11:18

@feltcarrot and @PUGaLUGS - my DS sounds like yours - very shy and sensitive and not a party animal at all. He loves football and gaming. He's not very streetwise which is why I'm worried.
But if he stayed at home he would never leave his bedroom so deep down I know it's the right thing for him ... not for me though! Confused

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beautifulblueballoon · 18/08/2018 11:28

It is really hard with your first, but you adapt. DS1 went to uni 2 yrs ago (hes just finished his second year) and I was so upset. I cried all the way home in the car! Of course I was happy for him, but it is such a massive change, the end of an era. BUT he loves uni and has done really well. He is also fairly quiet and sensitive but has really blossomed and has become such a lovey wonderful young man. His terms were quite short so he was home a lot in his first couple of years which helped. This summer he has had an internship down south so has only been home for a week, and I have missed him but we talk regularly and I know he is ok.
DD1 is also off to start uni in September, and I know it will be hard again, but I have to focus on the fact they are doing what is right for them.
There is no denying it is hard. But I think gradually you adapt and life moves on.

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Moussemoose · 18/08/2018 11:30

My shy, sensitive son went to uni last year. He joined the gaming society and met lots of like minded people (nerds🤓) he is having a great time.

Remember it's not about you, let him go and let him fly.

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beautifulblueballoon · 18/08/2018 11:30

(and sorry, totally off topic - but OYBBK where do the geese go in winter? DD asked me the other day and I didn't know and cant seem to find out LOL!!)

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OhYouBadBadKitten · 18/08/2018 11:41

Im not quite sure blueballlon, we seem to have some geese that arrive for the winter and some that leave for the winter, so maybe they do holiday swaps?

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MrSlant · 18/08/2018 11:46

Me too mate, me too. Having to put on my big girl pants and smile whilst repeating "I'm really excited for him, I'm really excited for him".

We seem to have a few year round geese then 8 million of their relatives come to join them for part of the year. I'm guessing they come from colder places but I could be completely wrong.

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Groovee · 18/08/2018 12:10

In 2 weeks time Dd will be on route to her new flat at uni. We've had just over 3 weeks to adjust.

It seems to be happening far too fast. She's home the first 2 weekends.

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Marmie4 · 18/08/2018 12:13

Hello, reading some of the posts is making me feel so much better. My DS is also leaving on the 16th/17th, he is very excited about starting although he is quite shy and also a little apprehensive. We are incredibly close and I just want him to have an amazing time but at the same time I know how much I will miss him. I guess it's what all parents go through at some point and as someone has said they do get lots of holidays.

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gingina · 18/08/2018 12:24

Yes it does help to know I'm not alone.
Thanks ladies Thanks

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feltcarrot · 18/08/2018 12:50

Moussemoose he has already looked at the gaming society!😁
I keep telling myself he’ll be fine and he’s only a train ride away.

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bubbles108 · 18/08/2018 12:51

I hated every minute until Christmas. My DD never knew that. It got better for me after Christmas

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RockingMyFiftiesNot · 18/08/2018 12:57

It'll break your heart when you leave him, it's not easy. But it will get easier I promise you xxx

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2gorgeousboys · 18/08/2018 16:17

I'm feeling like that too. My firstborn leaves for his first year at Huddersfield 3 weeks today. After weeks of waiting and uncertainty it felt teal yesterday when we went to Ikea to kit him out.

He's so excited and I'm really pleased and excited for him but also worried as he's not at all street wise and has no common sense. I'm also going to miss him dreadfully. Once a week I take him to a class for his hobby and we have a 3 hour round trip. I love out chats in the car and whilst I won't miss the drive and long evening, I will miss my time just the two of us.

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Hoozz · 18/08/2018 16:23

I really dreaded my first going to uni. It felt as though it was the end of an era, of being a parent.
It was nowhere near as bad as I expected.
In the run up to departure it was fun organising stuff for him to take (of course he wasn't remotely interested). On the day he was very nervous and I hid my feelings in jolliness. He was a quiet shy introvert who had had a difficult year. I cried all the way home.
But then it all became so much easier because he was so very happy. He loved it, made great friends in his halls and loved the course.

Now when DC2 went I was bereft.....

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Rassy · 18/08/2018 16:32

My DD1 goes to Napier three weeks today too. I feel as if it is just all hitting me now that she is going - I think I have been in denial!

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