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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

DS1 off to Uni and I'm struggling

102 replies

gingina · 17/08/2018 21:03

That's it really. He's my first born and it's just hit me that he's really going. He's got his A levels and secured his place. He's so excited and I'm trying not to show it but I'm feeling devastated.
Someone give me a slap and tell me I'm a silly cow!!!

OP posts:
speakout · 01/09/2018 13:12

Rassy my daughter will be starting at Napier too!

Groovee · 01/09/2018 13:13

Dundee are today and my niece is on route to Aberdeen.

Rassy · 01/09/2018 15:19

Groovee, sending you a big hug! Speakout, is your daughter in halls at Bainfield?

speakout · 01/09/2018 15:32

Rassy no, Slateford.

userofthiswebsite · 01/09/2018 15:38

Ah, don't worry, if they're like me they'll be back home for half term (reading week at uni) and the hols - so you'll see them every 6 weeks or so.

Groovee · 01/09/2018 15:48

Dd is home on Friday as we have a family wedding. She's home the following Griday for her orthodontist app. Then doesn't plan to come back until the end of October.

I grew up in Slateford. Random fact.

speakout · 01/09/2018 16:17

Just a general question- I am gathering supplies for DD to move to student accommodation, so surface cleaner, Flash wipes, rubber gloves, loo roll, etc.
Do these places usually have mops/buckets/brushes for communal areas?

speakout · 01/09/2018 16:28

I am actually getting over it.
DD has been a bear for the past few weeks.
She is beyond disorganised, her room at home is a bomb site.

Clothes ( clean and dirty), loads on new stuff from Ikea, duvets, pots, utensils, files, bank stuff etc.
It's a large room and I cannot see the floor.
Supposed to be moving on Friday, but has just announced that she will be heading up to the Highlands next week on holiday.

Nothing is organised or packed.

I am trying to chill- in fact her Uni accommodation is 6 miles away from where we live.
I suspect she will move on the Friday with an overnight bag and be back the same weekend to organise more stuff- and the weekend after.
And various trips through the week for us to bring over her passport/hair straighteners/power extension cable......
And repeat for the next few weeks/months.

I am just glad she didn;t decide on another offer of Uni which was 70 miles away.

It doesn't really feel like she is moving away at all right now!!

frenchfancy · 01/09/2018 16:32

Dd2 goes tomorrow. Dd1 also goes back tomorrow to start her third year. It is going to be very strange with just DD3 around.

But on a positive note Dd2 is a fussy eater so our menu next week includes all the things she hates but we love!

speakout · 01/09/2018 16:37

frenchfancy yes the menu is something I am thinking about too in the absence of DD.

I still have DS at home, and although neither are fussy eaters, like us all have likes and dislikes.
DD is a huge carnivore, DS - although not vegetarian loves beans and pulses and is not fond of huge portions of meat, so something like a bean cassoulet with tiny bits of ham, or a curry with loads of chickpeas and only a little meat is right up his street. And mine!!

OH had a meat eating ally in our DD, so he will be in for a disappointment in the family menu changes!!

Rach5ll · 01/09/2018 16:40

It's our job to give our children wings, and you've done that job very well if he's got his place & happy & excited to go Halo

longtompot · 01/09/2018 16:54

I was like you OP when my ed left for uni 3 years ago. Slightly different as she has mobility issues due to chronic pain, so I was worried about that aspect of it. I cried so much packing the car, as did she, and as we got closer to the city, I just felt sick. The drive home was awful.
As it was, her first uni was totally unsuitable and she left after the Jan exams. That Sept she started a different course, at a different uni much closer to home, and although it is hard, she is about to start her final year in a few weeks.
Ds starts uni this year after a gap year and is also moving in with his gf so its slightly different. He also has no mobility issues. I will miss him, but I won't miss his late night gamer sessions, 3am snacks, and being able to go to the fridge for leftovers ;)
It is all part of them growing up. Imagine them still being there when they are 30, or even 40! That might make it a bit easier Grin

Groovee · 01/09/2018 18:46

@speakout in the kitchen at DD's flat today there was 2 mops and buckets and a hoover in the kitchen. They've decided to have a flat kitty and buy all the cleaning stuff to share. They had 2 sinks and 2 cookers which was good.

Au79 · 01/09/2018 23:10

I’m such a bad mum, I can’t wait for dd1 to go! She has been such hard work especially this year. Dd2 needs and deserves some attentTion. DH on the other hand is devastated. I was horrified when dd1 said today she was coming home every other weekend- so I bet will bring all her stinky washing and throw it on the floor as ever- I suppose we will have to pay the fares too, it’s hundreds of miles away.

We love her to bits but omg, she makes the most astonishing mess, is a nightmare about food, and we end up doing literally everything for her like a free hotel and taxi, and nothing is left for the rest of us.

scaryteacher · 02/09/2018 19:10

Ds went off 4 years ago, and like a boomerang, he is now back post MA, and will be til he sorts out a job.

Enjoy the space and calm OP, your ds will be back!!!

Groovee · 02/09/2018 19:20

Dd got on fine. Even had a flat night out last night. She's hungover today x

LJdorothy · 02/09/2018 20:16

I coped fairly well when the first three left, but my youngest goes off to uni next week and I'm dreading it.

gingina · 03/09/2018 15:45

My step children are going to sleep on DSs room when they stay every other weekend while he is away.

I feel unreasonably sad and annoyed about that even though it makes perfect sense.

OP posts:
Groovee · 03/09/2018 18:28

Poor Dd! She did her usual, got on the right bus but the wrong way 🙈

Mishappening · 03/09/2018 18:38

He'll be back with his bags full of stinking washing every few weeks!

RuthW · 03/09/2018 18:43

I won't lie. I'm a single parent and it really was the worse time of my life apart from the break up of my marriage. I only have one child. For about three weeks I couldn't think about her without crying. Then it all changed. She's just starting her 4th year and I'm happy now then I've ever been. I love living on my own but live it when she's back. I still cry as soon as she's gone though, but five mins later I'm loving life! Hugs to you. You will get used to it.

weegiemum · 03/09/2018 20:47

My dd1 starts next week, but she's not moving out as the best course for her was at a local uni. She will probably move out next year once she has made some friends on her course - most of her school friends are also staying home - it's a very Glasgow thing to do!

So we are negotiating things in a different way, as she needs to be free to come and go but also still part of the family and house.

I'm so proud of her getting the place she did (Glasgow School of Art) and was wiping back the tears in the bloody Range while she spent a small fortune on her studio supplies!

MissConductUS · 04/09/2018 13:32

We dropped DS off at university for the first time on Sunday. Sunday night was pretty bad for getting to sleep from worry about him and the magnitude of the change. He's about a five hour drive away, so we went up on Saturday and drove back Monday morning.

They have a lot of fun orientation activities planned for new students, and we did a FaceTime session with him last night, which helped a lot. He really seemed fine, so that was very reassuring. His younger sister is still with us, so we're not quite empty nesters yet.

speakout · 04/09/2018 15:36

DD is packing as we speak. Sad

Rassy · 04/09/2018 15:53

Is it just me but I am very weepy today - DD1 goes on Saturday. It doesn't help that this week is my pmt week either and I have hurt my back!

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