DS1 off to Uni and I'm struggling

[gingina]

That's it really. He's my first born and it's just hit me that he's really going. He's got his A levels and secured his place. He's so excited and I'm trying not to show it but I'm feeling devastated.
Someone give me a slap and tell me I'm a silly cow!!!

I feel like that too rassy.

DD is so upbeat and excited, bopping about in her room as she is packing.

I don't want to engage with her too much because it would be unfair to bring down her mood.

DH made dinner last night and made way too much food. He's going to have to get used to the fact that we don't have a teenage boy in the house eating everything in sight.

We have three cats, one of which was particularly fond of DS. The cat keeps going into his room looking for him.

Dd has been away since Saturday. I enjoy her snapchats and she's made me laugh with her ditziness. Starting to get used to it.

Speakout - glad I'm not alone! I feel on the constant edge of tears

Dd1 and ds went off in the same year. They both went to the unis they wanted, great RG unis. I had tonnes going on in my life that isn't about my dc, I have been giving them more and more independence since the minute they were born, I was delighted they were going frankly, I was happy for them both and honestly they were both getting on my nerves in the run up to beginning of term.

But but but, the week after they left, suddenly and unexpectedly while I was walking the dog, I burst into tears, no idea why really to this day but it was all so overwhelming without being in the slightest bit overwhelming. I was completely blindsided. It passed quickly but I'll be prepared for the unexpected emotion when dd2 leaves.

Hi all. I posted in Chat this morning before I was very kindly directed over here.

I had full blown snotty tears in bed this morning. My DS1 is leaving on Saturday for uni. I’m so delighted for him but feel absolutely gutted for me - so selfish. I miss him already.

The cherry on the cake is that my other DS2 is moving abroad with his Dad. It’s a great opportunity for him but I’m just not sure what I’m going to do without either of them.

Just feeling sorry for myself 😢

I think what has helped me not get too teary about DS being away is the video chat we had with him. As soon as I saw his face I knew he was okay.

We have another one setup with him for tomorrow night. It's a fine line you have to walk - you don't want to pester him for contact and make him feel like you don't think he can manage on his own, but you also don't want him to think that his family has forgotten about him and doesn't care how he's getting on.

He's started packing!
There's a constant lump in my throat!
Like others on here I have to avoid letting him see how sad I am but it is so hard to pretend.
Hugs to you all x

Dd is home for the weekend. I now feel like a shit mum as she's admitted she's been horrendously homesick 😭😪 I genuinely believed she was getting in ok.

Just give him a big hug and tell him you'll miss him. He won't mind that a bit. Sometimes just putting your feelings out there makes it more bearable.

Do you have a list of what he needs to bring from the university? I joined this facebook group and it's been very helpful:

Grown and Flown

You might also find this helpful just as a starting point:

What to bring

You'll be okay!

Groovee- sending big hugs to you and DD

DD off tomorrow- is worried sick and keeps crying. She isn't a big drinker or party girl and says all her flat mates sound like they are.

I was worrying too when my son left. It is getting better because he is starting his lectures and getting into routine.
It is so emotional time. And my DS is not always answer my messages.

I just sent this article link to DS - there are some good ideas here

How to deal with homesickness at college

I especially liked the observation that the change comes in phases.

I don't think my son have got problem with homesick. Most likely he will have not enough time to do everything he wants. He is always opposite. He is worried before he go. But as soon as he started his journey he calms down and enjoys.
Maybe he will miss his school friends.

It's still a huge change for them and a very challenging time socially.

One funny story from his move in. His class is 70% women. His residence hall seemed to be 80-90% women. My son is a tall, good looking young man and that turned out to be true for his roommate as well.

As we were moving him in, unpacking and rearranging his furniture we had the door open the whole time. There was a non stop parade of attractive young women walking past, peering into his room. A few waved and said hi.

I think this helped him feel a bit better about being away from home.

Nice Miss Conduct 😉.
My DS is still choosing his lectures. It is shopping week now. I think he has about 50/50 in his uni.

We've started packing
It's hit him now that this is really happening and he's freaking out a bit.
I'm drinking wine and trying so hard not to cry!

Good luck to both of you 😊

Wishing everyone who is moving luck x

He's gone...
His place is lovely and he's happily settled in (although I know deep down he's scared shitless)
I cried all the way home and now I'm half way down a bottle of wine...
Hope it went well for everyone else.

((Hugs))

It's so hard, isn't it

My DS seems happy enough...the uni seems great, his accommodation is OK.

I came home and sat in DSs room for ages. I don't even know why I already miss him so much - it really hurts.

Hugs. I'm 2 weeks in and it's still tough.

Mine DS left nearly a month ago. Still tough. Especially, he is not calling very often or even looking on texts. He is telling he is busy. (I asked around and ppl said it is normal for freshmen).

It really hurts. More than I thought it would tbh. DS2 (15) is feeling it too. I keep hanging round his room too - it still smells of him!! 😢
I think he's happy though - he finds it hard to meet people but he's been clubbing and has a hangover!!!

Youngest has gone back for his third year. It's hitting me now that this was probably the last summer he would be here because next year he'll be looking for a job or starting work and it's highly unlikely it will be near home.