Early days at uni 2017

[HSMMaCM]

How is everyone settling in?

DD starts on Wednesday.

Hello - what a reassuring read this thread has been as is the Facebook group OP linked to earlier. I am another with a son at Southampton who I think is struggling a little so will see how things pan out as he is autistic spectrum and he is trying to make friends for the first time in his life.

It’s too quiet now they’ve gone again and I’ve caught back up on laundry and washing up.

Soupdragon DS is at Chamberlain which is one of the Glen Eyre halls. Just had a text from him saying he's at the waffle and ice cream freshers do but everyone else seems to be on a table and he's too shy to go and join in so he's sitting in his own! I feel like crying . . . . .

Oh Morvah that's so hard. It's so good that he feels he can txt you. Try and keep those lines open. He will find his kindred spirits...just maybe not in Freshers' week.

I think it is quite central although I really don't know where the centre is! It's right next to Solent uni.

He kind of had to take what was left as this was his reserve choice so I think he's just been lucky.

I saw the ice cream and waffle thing when I was paying for DSs Freshers stuff, it was sold out. I feel for your DS - that's what I'm like. I have to force myself to speak to people and it's really tough. It will get better!

I've not heard from DS and I'm resisting the temptation to text him. I've had to start clearing his room as DS2 desperately wants to move out of the box room :(

Luckily DS is quietly confident so I think he'll be OK. XH says that the others in his flat seem nice kids and his room is lovely.

my DD sent me a pik of her and new friends from her accommodation floor all dressed up for the back to school event last night . Had to laugh as she only left school 3 months ago 😂 She got 3 hours sleep and had an induction talk this morning , registers this afternoon and is pleased with her timetable . No Monday or Friday's off so weekends home off the cards .

One of mine says he has his first lecture today (they had freshers' week last week).

Morvah - ds is also in Chamberlain! I'm picking up some wobbly vibes from him too. I think he's finding the freshers thing a bit difficult. He likes to party but it's difficult when you're with a bunch of strangers.

I reminded him yesterday that everyone is in the same boat and no matter how confident people appear, most of them will be feeling wobbly inside. Your ds will soon find his people.

If it's any consolation, when I went I uni in the dark ages I used to ring my mum in tears and offload to her. But then go off and enjoy myself!

Thanks everyone! DS sent me a very quick text (bless him, he knew I'd be worrying!) saying he had found some people and was chatting to them so I feel a bit better! He's a friendly and sociable chap but quite shy and anxious so we knew he'd find Fresher's a bit daunting.

stonecircle Chamberlain is amazing - the kitchens are gorgeous. Although probably won't stay gorgeous for long!

Agree kitchens are fab Morvah. I just find the rooms so small (though very well equipped and virtually identical to the one DS2 had in his first year at Exeter). But everywhere is new and fresh which is lovely. He also has a nice view as his room looks out over a green space.

Don't know how long he'll last before he loses that small key fob though!

Morvah, I'm so glad your ds is enjoying the event now - it certainly looked good when we were looking through the events timetable but ds didn't book beforehand. There is a picnic in the new forest tomorrow that I am trying to gently encourage him to go to.

I was at Glen Eyre in the (ahem) mid 80s. I had a lovely room - an old one with wooden floor and nice view.

My main advice to ds is "Don't be me." I was so wimpy and nervous when I arrived and peered in the Freshers' Fair and joined nothing because all the students looked full of themselves and intimidating. I'm sure they were very nice really but I approached the university newspaper people and I can still remember they swung round and looked a bit irritated, so I slunk off.

Unfortunately I'm still like this with joining anything! I can detect unfriendly vibes at 500 paces.

Just had a phone call from DS. It's the first one since we dropped him off 9 days ago! He seems to be having a great time with his flat mates. They've been out every night! 4 of them caught the train yesterday and went on a day out up to the coast. So different from the experience he had when he went to Uni 2 years ago when there seemed to be very little/no interaction with flat 'mates'. He is even looking forward to his 1st lecture this afternoon. Long may it continue.

BBB thats great to hear.
And Morvah, glad your DS has found some others to chat to - ice cream and waffle sounds fab!

DD made it up the hill for her first 9am lecture all hot and sweaty then got lost trying to find the next one but made it in time. I imagine she will now slink back to halls to catch up on lost sleep!

It's my daughter's birthday and the first time I haven't seen her at some point, even briefly, on the day. But I'm sure she'll have a ball this evening with her new mates.

Abra - that's hard. She'll probably feel a bit strange too.

With regard to favourite bears - I was encouraging DD to take her giant unicorn (who means nothing to me) and DH managed to convince her to take a much treasured moose, which he bought when I told him I was expecting her (he was in Canada). I am seriously stressed about the possibility of losing the moose. Totally irrational I know. I am going to suggest maybe another soft toy gets a chance to visit after Christmas.

Her housemates seem to spend a lot of time in the kitchen socialising with each other, which is a good thing. They have hung bunting in the kitchen window. She went for her first Freshers night out last night and seems to have survived. She went for an informal subject get together today and the tutor was half an hour late!

These soft toys are totemic for us too sometimes. I have got the small soft bluebird my husband bought for my daughter. And the bear he bought for my son. They think these objects have gone, but they haven't 😀

DS just texted to say he bought a load of cereal to use up his meal plan allowance from last week. Thing is, he hasn't eaten cereal for the last five years! He said they are organising a walking bus down to campus for their first lecture. I have visions of them all with their reflective jackets holding hands in pairs

Loving the walking bus image.

DD chose bran flakes for her cereal. I have NEVER seen her eat them.

Just had another lovely message exchange and short phone call (whilst she was waiting for a bus!) with DD.
Feeling quite emotional about everything, but mostly in a kind of good way. Think it's reminding me how much I love her or something.
Glad to have the company of you all on this thread. Somewhere to be soppy (as my granny would say) in style!
DD has been joined by two further flatmates, both international students, so that's now 3 from abroad and two of them from UK.
5 of them, all girls, may be a nice number to share their 7 person flat (which has 2 showers)
They are planning to go to societies fair and a quiz night tomorrow, and had a department talk today.

I'm feeling confused. I'm celebrating the fact that the kitchen is as clean and tidy as it was when I went out this morning while also feeling a bit sad that it is still clean and tidy. Ho hum.....

Had a text from DS, he'd been to a couple of lectures; tomorrow he is on a day out with the department.

It feels very strange at home, even though he was usually hunkered down in his room, it feels odd him not being here.

Love this thread.

I think eating the cardboard packet is probably more tasty than bran flakes

Dd is making veg fried rice from her new cookery book and going to the love island 🌴 party.

Hello, Nydj, I'm also finding this thread reassuring.

DS has already had someone leave his halls flat to go home. Too homesick, apparently, and couldn't cope with it all. So sad. He said they've all tried to be friendly and they're definitely not being loud, but other flats are already on noise warnings