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Higher education

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Original poster

Humiliated Sons Exam results publicised

409 replies

Frances39 · 08/09/2017 01:21

My son received his A-level results this August and is about to head off to university. However his college which he attended in their assemblies have being showing his picture and results in all the assemblies. My son did very well despite several unfortunate happenings during his exams, however he did very mediocre compared to the rest of the leavers. In their assembly's they put up the A*AA etc. students up and those going to Oxford/Cambridge, then they went on to show my sons grades and his less prestigious university as some kind of charity case. My son has not left his room now for a couple of days since hearing about what the school did, he did not even tell his close friends what grades he got. He feels humiliated and violated that they would do such a thing without his consent and that he was contrasted with Oxbridge students. I have no idea what I should do, I will he contacting the school and maybe a solicitor. I cannot imagine what my son must be experiencing

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 08/09/2017 07:00

When I took my professional exams the results were published in the papers, The Times I think. That was the first time I knew what result I got, the result slip came later.

So once you had checked out your own result you would then look to see who else you knew had passed or failed (name wouldn't be there if you had failed). So if say someone was abroad when the results came out, other people who know whether they had passed or failed before they did Shock

Showandtell · 08/09/2017 07:04

I don't think ANY results should be publicised!

BoneyBackJefferson · 08/09/2017 07:06

OuaisMaisBon

The problem that I have with the OP and her DS's response is that they weren't even in the room when this happened.

The information is effectively gossip spread by other people.

sashh · 08/09/2017 07:08

Breach of data protection laws unless your son gave permission (ie there is something hidden in the paperwork) contact information commissioner.

MaisyPops · 08/09/2017 07:09

OuaisMaisBon
If identifying non-too achieving students is an awful thing to do then I'm a terrible individual.
Personally, I like to celebrate the achievements of my students across the ability range and give praise and recognition for that (even had phone calls saying thank you and onr emailed our head to pass on their thanks to me).

What should I do in future? Only nominate children for awards if they are too achievers? Only nominate in groups and have the awards dished out in odd ability groups (i think that's more insulting personally)?

Don't get me wrong, the OP's son feels as he does. Personally though I would be encouraging him that he was there as a great example, not running around getting mad.

Ktown · 08/09/2017 07:09

No one is belittling her but if she continues like this her son will never learn to cope with life.
She needs to help him move on and be proud of his achievements.
Uni marks are public.

DailyMailBestForBums · 08/09/2017 07:11

I strongly suspect that if my school did something similar, we'd be hauled over the coals by the compliance people who enforce data protection rules. We would have had to get consent from the student/their parents before sharing any info with anyone else. (Not in the UK though)

It can't be changed now, but I would have no hesitation in contacting the school. Regardless of their intentions, it was perceived as a criticism by the listeners, and your son found the experience humiliating. They need to know so they can avoid doing something so insensitive again.

Ceto · 08/09/2017 07:18

In legal terms they were probably in breach of the Data Protection Act, unless you signed anything allowing his details to be used for school publicity. However, I doubt that it is worth going down the solicitor route - I think you need to let the school know what effect this had had on him and ask if they can talk to him to explain what happened and/or help him to get past this.

SuburbanRhonda · 08/09/2017 07:19

Did you sign a form saying you are happy for the school to use his photo and details in their publicity? Check the list with the school office if you can't remember.

Increasinglymiddleaged · 08/09/2017 07:23

Ho hum

None of us were there and we don't know what was said. I think though the most important thing with grades and situations is what you do with them. Many people have highly successful careers having not been to Oxbridge, in fact I don't even fully understand why it's such a thing tbh.

Determination and resilience are what make you successful, not a load of A grades. Fine, comment to the school that the way DS was framed as a failure is utter bollocks. But then move on and help him to build his resilience. Life and work are hard, this is hardly the worst thing that is going to happen to him.

Fairyflaps · 08/09/2017 07:24

I think the school was wrong to do this, and if you think it would make you feel better to meet with someone at the school to point out the effects this has had on your son (and have the time and emotional energy to do it), do so.
But your priority is your son who is no doubt catastrophising in the way that 18 year olds do. It feels like public humiliation at the moment, especially as the last 2 years of his life have been bound up in A levels and they have been to some extent the be all and end all of his existence. As everyone from the age of 20 knows, no-one really gives a shit about A level grades, and if you can help him to see that, so he can start university without this hanging over him, that will be a good start.

There will be people at university with him with worse grades, better grades, and probably some without A levels at all. There may be some questions about what grades he got, what a levels he did from his fellow freshers when they first arrive. Although this is just icebreaking, if he does feel bad about his grades, maybe he could prepare for these conversations by thinking about he will phrase his response or change the subject to something more interesting.

Undercoverbanana · 08/09/2017 07:26

Awful behaviour by the school to publish anyone's results. They are the student's results not the school's and they should shut the fuck up. I am constantly appalled by things that I hear schools are doing and am so glad my children are now adults and out of the whole mess. However, I am not selfish enough to not care about the younger children coming through schools now (and any possible grandchildren I might have -eek!!!!)

It seems to me that schools no longer have any integrity. Education is one of the main parts of the backbone of any society and ours is crumbling.

OP - I hope your DS can get out there, rise above this shoddy treatment and go forward with his life a better man than the people in his wake.

Teddygirlonce · 08/09/2017 07:28

Is it really such an issue now he's finished at school? Not as if he ever has to show his face there again?

Many of us had exam results published in the papers, school magazines etc... - for all and sundry to see who were the clever ones and who achieved less well.

It's all life experience, TBQH. Somewhere down the line it happens to us all.

This comes across as very much a Generation Snowflake post but it does all seem that OP might be projecting her own disappointment...

Threenme · 08/09/2017 07:32

Bad practice but I agree with pp you are projecting. I genuinely am miffed by all this

Lovemusic33 · 08/09/2017 07:34

they made him look like a failure ,securing a university place is hardly a failure? I think you and him are looking at it all wrong, just because there were photos of suptudents who got into oxford?

Stop making a big deal of it and tell your son how bloody proud you are that he got a place at uni.

Jellybean85 · 08/09/2017 07:35

Honestly they shouldn't have used
His picture but for goodness sake, a solicitor??? Do him a favour and don't start him down that road of thinking every slight upset needs suing over!!

Mention it to the school but honestly I would tell your son his grades are facts, he is going to university, time to stop wallowing in his room and start preparing. This is surely an overreaction? Get him focused on his future,

He needs to be able to take this sort of thing at uni, we frequently had all our grades published, even if you failed!

It's hard because you don't want to see him upset, but please, for his own sake don't play into this, help him toughen up!

2014newme · 08/09/2017 07:36

When I was at school they were all in the newspaper!
You need to help your son with resilience.
When he does his degree the results will be published at uni.

RainbowBriteRules · 08/09/2017 07:37

I think you're getting an unfair kicking here OP. I went to a very high achieving school. This was in the days before A* so at A Level anything less than an A or B absolutely was seen as a failure. I got a C for one subject in GCSE and was hauled over the coals for it.

There was also definitely a perceived hierarchy in universities. Recognition of 'progress', when done like this, can be humiliating and patronising. I can totally see my school doing something like this and I would have been annoyed. In fact, it was so obsessed with grades that I left as soon as possible (many other reasons too!) and actually did my A Levels at 6th form college.

2014newme · 08/09/2017 07:37

What @Jellybean85 said is good sense.
He's off to uni forget school it's done.

Bitlost · 08/09/2017 07:40

You need to chill a bit. Your son will probably have worse problems in life and he needs to toughen up.

Violetparis · 08/09/2017 07:40

Regardless of whether a pupil has good, mediocre or poor results a school should not share them without asking permission. I think everyone has a right to their results remaining private. I would mention it to the school to make them aware that not everyone is happy with their results being discussed in public.

QueenLaBeefah · 08/09/2017 07:49

Well the school have been pretty shitty and it is up to you if you want to complain.

But your son has now left school and is off to university (which is a huge achievement) and he has an amazing future ahead of him. Try and focus on the many positives of the situation.

coriliavijvaad · 08/09/2017 07:50

I think you are massively overreacting here.

When your DS finishes university and (presumably) passes finals, his name and class of degree will be published by that university and the information about his grade will not be considered "confidential personal information" as university outcomes are a matter of public record (though they are usually just published on paper, I don't know of any that publish them online).

When I got my own (disappointing) degree result it was by finding my name on a printed poster that was displayed outside the university offices where any passer-by could read it. It is not private information and rightly so.

I don't know whether a-levels are the same but given that they are known as "public examinations" they might be. Even if not, your reaction is inappropriate.

If your ds did his best and worked hard then he should be proud of his grades whatever they are, not sad because they weren't higher, and it is quite right for the school to celebrate his achievements and you should too.

If he didn't work hard or try his best then blaming the school for publicising the results is misplaced and misdirected and teaching your ds to blame others and/or go into denial when he falls short which is nurturing a rather unhealthy attitude.

strawberrygate · 08/09/2017 07:50

A solicitor? Really? sweet jesus, get a grip

jojo2916 · 08/09/2017 07:56

You both need to change the way you think if you want your ds to cope in the big wide world seriously get over it, he's got into uni that's great, tbh both his and your reactions seem unhinged sorry to be blunt

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