Tough decision for DD

[cerealnamechangers]

My DD is in in her first year at a large Russell group uni, however she doesn't like the city and hasn't settled in well at all, the people she lives with in halls have been a nightmare and she is adamant that she no longer wants to house share ever again and wants to transfer to the uni in our home town for next year.. The issue is that there isn't a Russell group uni in our home town so she would be attending a lesser rated university compared to the one she is at now. I am so proud of her for sticking this year out even though she has been so unhappy and I just want her to be happy but would this be a crazy move? My head says that I should convince her to stay but I hate seeing her so miserable.

stone some universities offer a meal plan these days.

The student gets a card with a certain amount of credit on it and can spend it when and where they like on campus.

So skip or provide your own breakfast and use your card mid morning near your lecture hall.

Rapidly I was a student nurse at an RG university in the early 2000s, I agree we were (and are) a nice bunch we definitely had time to party. The nurses at uni had a reputation for being the party girls and we lived up to it. Not sure if times have changed but we definitely worked hard and played harder.

I think nurses tend to be quite social and kind people, so quite good to live near!

How is your DD OP?

Do RG universities offer nursing degrees? Not sure these students can be found everywhere! My friend says her DD as a student nurse is working on the wards all the time! I think they stick together like vets, medics etc.

Also post grad don't go into halls these days! Not enough space for first years at loads of universities. Post grads mostly in private rented I believe .

I am surprised sporty people don't have breakfast! Are they playing first thing in the morning? I think the little annoyances are outweighed by the ability to meet more people. If you are sporty you may not need this.

Bojo I did my nursing degree at Birmingham (as in The University of- not UCE or whatever it is now). My friend lectures there now so it's still offered. I'm sure lots of the other good universities do too. Nottingham offer it too and I'm sure they're an RG too.

I'd bust a gut with weekend working to fund a studio apartment for her then for year 2 in her current city if she's not prepared to live with others. I don't think she should move to a lesser institutino as it will affect job prospects. Also see if she can get some work experience this summer holiday which help her be keener on her degree, job prospects with it etc.

Cereal how is your DD coping, I cannot imagine how she has managed to stick it out - that housemate situation is utterly awful.

I would ask her to speak to the accommodation officer - there will be other flats/residences with empty rooms where at least the other students won't bully her, who knows she may find some people who are more kindred spirits.

She still has 4 months there, 4 months that could be much much better than living in that flat with those nasty bullies

bojo nursing students are at lots of RG Uni's. Manchester, Leeds, Edinburgh, Liverpool...

Cereal
I really think the suggestion of going up and staying with her in a hotel while sorting out a room change is the way to go. I had 3 go through uni and each found yr 1 very difficult, but one was bullied by awful flatmates - so bad they were nearly chucked out. He moved out at just this time of yr 1 and wished he had done it sooner

She is doing ok, she has a reading week this week so she has come home and we are going to discuss it properly and make a plan for when she goes back.

Glad your DD is doing ok Cereal. This would be the ideal week to talk to the accommodation office and see what her options are.

Hi, just thought i would update this. DD has been offered a place to transfer to the Russell gorup university closer to home pending exam results and the change in her is amazing, she says its like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders knowing that she won't have to go back their next year and she doesn't have a feeling of dread hanging over her any more. I definitely think that it was the right decision for her, she's always been a bit of a home bird. She is still deciding if she wants to commute or have another go at living independently. We have been to look around the uni and she loves the campus and is feeling much more positive. She was in a bit of mess when i posted before and i went to collect her, she wasn't eating and was shutting herself away in her room every evening and weekend, it really wasn't a healthy situation and I'm so glad she told me otherwise god knows what could have happened.
Cereal x

Wonderful to hear Cereal - well done your DD having the courage to speak up and ask for support when needed & how lucky she is to have you.
Mental health experts say time & time again, that leaving home at 18 & all the upheaval it brings, is the second biggest trigger for MH issues (after puberty). As you say, Lord knows what could have been - and I'll add, 'if you hadn't been there for her'.
and all round! xx

Wonderful news. I hope it al works out for her.

Good news. Hopefully she'll settle in quickly, meet some lovely like minded students and possibly even want to share again for her final year. But even if she doesn't it must be great to see her fears and worries disappear!

Cereal, thanks for the update and great that the transfer has come through! DD1 switched unis this year and she is a million times happier -- with the course, with friends, and the uni., so changing really can make a difference.

Great news Cereal. As I posted early in this thread, my DD1 (like Dauntless' DD) also changed both uni and course. She is in year 1 again and thoroughly enjoying this year. She has just come home for the weekend and is busy revising. She tends to come home every two weeks but knows she can pop whenever.

'Russell Group' doesn't mean anything when it comes to student satisfaction and employment rates. Isn't it just a self selected group of research universities who once had a meeting in Russell Square?

I think you have to let your daughter choose what will be best for her, herself.

That sounds like it's all worked out well. You must be so relieved.

Hope your DD has a great time at her new Uni.

Great update x

That's wonderful to hear OP. My son is also transferring this year. He's transferring from a top 10 non-Russell Group to one in the next city to us that is quite low on the league tables.
He is desperately unhappy where he is; he loves the course but can't stand the city or university he says and hasn't really made friends as he has a gf at a different uni.
Myself I feel he hasn't given it enough effort but he is adamant he is transferring. Obviously what I want is for him to be happy so while I am disappointed he is now going to be at a lower graded uni he will be happy. Which is the most important thing I felt. Like your daughter since he got the news of his transfer, a weight has lifted and he is so much happier in himself.

I just thought i would update this again, dd passed the year with flying colours despite the trials and tribulations and is excited about starting her new uni next month! She also has a new volunteering job lined up for September that she is very enthusiastic about, things are looking up for her finally, it definitely seems like it was the right decision so far, dd has also just passed her driving test so is now able to commute to her new university which is a bonus.