Exeter offers : incompetent or arrogant?

[TalkinPeace]

DD submitted her form last October
Exeter have still not had the courtesy to send an offer (the other four Unis all have)
when phoned they said

• no offers have been issued (bollocks as DDs friends have theirs)
• offers will be made by end of December (bollocks as its now late march)
• offers will be made right after the UCAS cut off date (bollocks as it was in January)
• offers will be made by the end of March ........

Exeter are arrogant liars
the word needs to go round

Offers do not have to be made until May. We decided early on not to stress & look on it as a bonus if they all came back before. DS got 4 out of 5 offers & the fifth a polite no the last two just this week.
They have a HUGE pile of applications to wade through & hassling them is not going to do any favours, they cannot possibly pull her application out of the mahoosive pile to fast track it !
Why are you ringing anyway - it's her application & this is part of the learning curve of uni life, frustrating though it is. Focus on doing the open day visits to all her choices to really get a feel for them & let the system run its course.

TalkIn, I really don't think Exeter have any compunction to lie to you, you say she has four offers? You really need to calm down about this, no-one is lying to you, they are merely going through a process, it may do be the process as you deem fit, but they are going through it none the less.

Your daughter is the one who is applying.

No-one is doing this to hurt you.

I may be stepping beyond the bounds of the thread here, but (and I say this gently) do you think there is a possibility you are over-invested in you DD's University applications and therefore her life?

I only say this because I know you are a long-standing poster (as I am but I NC regularly) and I've seen many of your posts and they always seem pretty on the ball, I generally agree with your posts, but you seem to have lost sight here, your usual beam of reasonableness seems a little off.

A step back may be helpful, it's not your life, is there something you're overcompensating for here?

In fairness though the wait is awful. Would be medics can be kept waiting till May whilst Exeter is not the only popular University to give late decisions in other subjects.

Our experience has been that long waits have a real impact on the final year of school. Medics and those applying for Oxbridge (which many applying for popular courses will do) have to get their forms in in early October, so effectively wait six months for decisions. There must be a better way.

I may be stepping beyond the bounds of the thread here, but (and I say this gently) do you think there is a possibility you are over-invested in you DD's University applications and therefore her life?

This. I have been to Durham as an undergraduate and Exeter as a postgraduate and have no idea when any offers were made but I liked both of them.

More relevantly though my mum had absolutely no idea other than getting excited when envelopes arrived. She certainly wasn't trying to spread the word that any of the universities were liars or arrogant. She was a bit busy for that as I recall.

Dd1 is just coming to the end of her course at Exeter. Her offer from them didn't come through until late Feb/early March, in fact all her offers were within a couple of weeks and she hadn't even had her interview at UWE (which she cancelled because Exeter was her first choice).

It's not just algorithms.

DS was told by Bristol that he was on their waiting list, and they couldn't offer until they heard whether candidates with offers were accepting them.
It was v frustrating, especially as the other 4 had come back extremely quickly, with offers.
His favourite (having done a head-start course there), offered within a couple of days, and kept in touch via postcards and emails.
In the end Bridtol did make him an offer, but the experience was off-putting & unwelcoming. He chose to go elsewhere.

I was an External Examiner at Exeter a few years ago, and I was very impressed by the time and effort staff make with some difficult/in difficulties students. Certainly neither arrogant nor lying. It really is an outrageous thing to write publicly. Would you say the same thing under your real name?

A step back may be helpful, it's not your life, is there something you're overcompensating for here?

^ this

Echoing what others have said, Exeter do not owe your daughter an offer. If she feels badly treated by them, she should just accept somewhere else and forget about it. She already has four other choices.

You seem a little over invested here.

talkin you said some time ago that your DD had decided against Exeter based on what you perceive as poor treatment by them.

Clearly you think she should dismiss them but she was impressed enough to wait.

Same as you Reasons To Hate Cambridge thread which stemmed from your disappointment that she didn't want to apply.

Leave her to it! And I say that as the world's over invested mother . The offer will come or not in the next couple of weeks.

TIP will still post on MN about calories, weight loss & exercise (woman of many interests).
No news = "Still a chance". I'd prefer that to swift rejection myself.

My DD rejected even applying to Exeter after a particularly badly organised open day. The whole event was marred by over-invested parents who dominated the staff who were there to speak to prospective students, not parents.. They also filled the lectures (not meant for them) and had to be asked to leave so prospective students could attend. The whole place oozed entitled parents and the helicopters were well and truly buzzing overhead.

My DD1 had a late March offer from one if her preferred universities. DD 2 never heard from one at all by 30 April. They were still advertising for applicants so she got the impression she was definitely not wanted but they just hadn't got round to rejecting her. She rejected them.

If the other universities tick the boxes, reject Exeter. It will not be the end of the world. Relax!

To be fair to Talkin there are a lot of MNers who are very very very invested in their DCs education. It not something you want to go on about in real life so MN is a good place to chat, to moan, to stealth boast and to get other people's opinions.

It's Talkins DD who has been making the phone calls to the Uni and I wouldn't be suprised if the stressing is led by ^Talkin*s DD. I have at times been very 'invested' in my DCs university applications but only in my head and not out loud.

The whole event was marred by over-invested parents who dominated the staff who were there to speak to prospective students, not parents.. They also filled the lectures (not meant for them) and had to be asked to leave so prospective students could attend

Hardly fair to judge a university on that, surely?

You only have to read threads on here complaining about lack of attention paid to parents to see the dilemma university staff face. And we prefer to be polite and have everyone on board.

At my university I have had to ask parents (and grandparents & siblings) to step aside for various things so we can accommodate applicants first. The hostility I have faced from some parents was quite shocking. I rarely use my title but I was so inclined to at that point. I think some parents are very rude & entitled and treat university staff even professors as if they're servants. But that's not the fault of any university. It's these neo-liberal selfish times we live in.

bitchy that's a fair point.

I say many things on MN that I keep quiet about in RL.

What's showing on her Tracker?

January offers aren't late until 31st March (or applications made early)

How many offers does she have? Is Exter a back up for her?

Have you read up about the wide variety of waiting times? Not just Exeter... YABU if you think it is just them, or all of their courses.

Year in, year out, applicants become frustrated when they find all their friends have heard back and they haven’t, or they’ve heard from four of their choices but not the fifth. This isn’t unusual.
university.which.co.uk/advice/ucas-application/when-will-you-hear-back-from-the-universities-youve-applied-to

I also think it's natural that parents focus on admissions as this is the only part they're involved in.

So parents mither open days, offer holder days etc. but obviously from a univetsity's POV this is just one issue ( and of little material relevance to many of the people working there).

A complete mismatch in expectation.

I know it's really stressful. But is your DD sure they're 'lying'. Did they write 'we guarantee all offers will be made by [date]'? If so, she should (politely) quote this back to them.

If they said 'we aim to make all offers by [date]' or 'we typically make all offers by [date]', that's a bit different.

I don't think it's wrong of your DD to want to chase things up, because it would be awful if hers had got missed out by some kind of error, but it's not unthinkably late to send out offers, is it?

Parents have a role, well because they are parents. Part of the problem is that not oonly is a six month wait and possible rejection hugely stressful but this is the first major life decision that DC face on their own.

I do wish Universities could look at the process to see if it could be improved. Ideally academics, whether involved in the application process or not, wuld look at the relevent threads in The Student Room to get a taste of how their process is affecting applicants.

My advice having gone through it twice (and with no real offers till mid March either time despite an early October applicaiton) are:

1. Go to Open Days, but hang back and perhaps do some different things like look at accomodation whiilst your DC is in the subject talk. You then have a much better feel for what Universities they fell in love with and why, really useful if there are difficult decisions down the road. For example it would help TiP advise her DD whether to forget about Exeter or hang on.

1. Our experience was that DC toughed it out in different ways, but neither wanted to talk. Instead we as parents recognised they were under pressure and did what families do. Favourite roast dinners, family trips to the cinema, no nagging about untidy bedrooms, etc. The message being we were there.

1. This is a bit creepy but we kept an eye on Student Room. Neither DC wanted to read it, as they were convinced that it was full of braggers and trolls (they may be right.) It was useful though to have a sense of whe offers are being made. For example before DD got her two offers last week neither University had made many, so it was clear she was in some form of gathered field, presumably waiting for the final interviews to take place. (For medics it is wortth reading the end of the Student Room threads from the previous year as you get a feel for how late decisions making goes on.)

1. Be careful to keep your role to one of constructive mentor. TiP may be picking up some of her DDs frustration but she might research/talk how the University process works and the constraints they may face. This is an early taste of real life , which often "ain't fair". Learning to handle things with resilience is an important life skill. My DD was brilliant, a great indication that she will be able to handle the stresses of being a Junior Doctor. If you do it right you may find that DC turn to you later for advice on other things, like leases, internships etc, in part because they trust you to simply share experience not push your own views.

1. Your DC will have their own peer networks. By March the "still waiting" group at her school had bonded. The nicest thing was the friend who sent a genuine and effusive message of congratulations despite him receiving his final rejection that week. DD will be there for him during his reapplication and has learnt a lot from his generosity.

1. It is one of those things where many RL friends won't understand, unless they have been there themselves. So use MN. I was lucky that a lovely medic-mum got in touch and we met up a couple of times for coffee and shared experience. In the end her DD decided to drop out of the process, and the mum obviously wanted to help ensure her DD was making the right long-term decision not simply reacting to the pressure of the moment.

I think there are a few late offers from various universities. I expect they issue offers in waves and are waiting for some students to decline offers before sending out a new batch. I don't think there is any personal slight intended from Exeter.

The Irish system is nice and simple. If universities want to lessen parental involvement then it might be worth a look at that system. Although all systems have their flaws so I expect that one does as well.

This site has been a brilliant source of information for my teens. All sorts of things have been discussed that we didn't have the first clue about. I don't see anything wrong with asking questions.

Exeter is one of those uni along with a few other popular similar versions who rely on marketing and hype, student satisfaction to further themselves up the league table by means of making themselves seem more prestigious and in demand.
They are up themselves like many of these new age unis. DD applied to one of there courses sucked in by the ' we receive lots of applicants and have to turn down many very well qualified applicant' thinking it must be an amazing course. This is a course advertised AAA-AAB. Here she is, not the most happiest of students, most on her course have got in AAB, OK its what they stated but hey they said they get a loads of over qualified applicants most of them got a AAB offer. If they were that popular like they said, why not offer the course at A*AA. Rather than hype the course to make it sound as though they are extremely popular just makes student who are slightly gulliable apply even more, all marketing, selling hype, its a business using business model strategy. DD wishes she went to a unpretentious solid redbrick uni. Thinking of changing after she finishes first year.

It would be rather naive to assume that "unpretentious solid redbrick unis" aren't using business model strategies too. This is an inevitable consequence of the government's decision to remove almost all core funding from universities and make them totally reliant on student numbers - indeed to break even universities need to get more students year on year, since the fees are frozen and research funding is frozen/reduced.

I think all universities (including the very top ones) are investing in marketing, support staff etc at the expense of education - numbers of academics are frozen/reducing while budgets for marketing, support, student experience, strategic planning, international cooperation are all increasing.

And ironically problems with late decisions at several top Universities may stem from a decision to keep selection costs down by not interviewing.