Preparing for Uni in 2015 continues...

[Chillywhippet]

New thread

Old one here with loads of info

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/2408327-Preparing-for-Uni-in-2015

LifeofBriony, it is sad, but a happy sad

Hope all goes well with your DS's moving in.

I can't believe a week ago we were getting ready to set off with DS - only another 39 weeks left on his accommodation!!

I think the week has gone quite quickly. I was chatting to dd on skype earlier and her feet have hardly touched the ground.

Even as we talked, people came to knock on her door to go out somewhere. I really do think they are all so busy and will call/text home more often once freshers week is over and they settle into their routines a bit more.

It seems that, for us, 4pm is a good time to talk as she is back in halls then, finished with the day but too early to be cooking dinner or getting ready to go out.

Dd is going clubbing for the first time tonight, I can't believe she has escaped it all week. It's a fancy dress themed evening and pretty close to the university so easy to get back afterwards. A girl on her corridor has been diagnosed with scarlet fever and been sent home for ten days. What a terrible start, I've suggested they all message her frequently and keep her involved.

We might call in on Sunday to see dd, she's only 30 minutes away. Out of 14 students who share the kitchen none has brought a toaster and we have a spare. You can't be a student without a toaster. I'll quickly add that this was her request, not our suggestion and she asked if we would take her out for lunch. Apparently the work is mounting up now so she may not have time for that though. I'm quite pleased about that, I'd rather she didn't disappear off with us. But it will be nice to give her a quick squeeze.

Circular Ensleigh are the ones covering DD's flat but the quote they gave was expensive. Cover4students was recommended by a friend - she said her daughter broke her iPhone last year and they sorted it straight away.

for all parents of dc at Cardiff, I hope that they make an arrest soon.

Thank you to whoever suggested the rape alarm on the Mumsnet list.

We have a week to go til DD leaves, she is keen to move forward now as most of her friends have already left. We have entered the anxious stage that was described by many.

DD's BF goes tomorrow. I feel she will never leave!

Still a week to go here, too and dd's anxiety has been building. She is a real home-bod and very worried about feeling homesick. She just needs to get on with it now. We are going to miss her so much as she wasn't one for going out partying etc so is around a lot and we chat constantly. Ds is going to have to talk to me now

Dd and ds are very close and he is not saying much about her going. I think it will hit him when she has gone but at the moment he is focussing on his plans to move into her (bigger) bedroom!

Also, ordered a rape alarm for dd although I know when I went all 1st year girls were given one.

To be honest Mrs B - from my time as a telephone volunteer at a charity providing support for survivors of rape and sexual abuse - the problem isn't usually the stranger who accosts you as you walk down a quiet street or alleyway at night. (Though such events can't be completely ruled out.) The problem is about people you may think of as potential new friends, at a time when you don't have a gang of old mates who you know you can rely on and who will stick around.. People who may say they are just being friendly. That they were being given clear signals etc etc. People who seem like nice well brought up young men from good schools who know how to behave.

So I suspect the way to stay safe is probably to do with clear communication, trying slowly to build up a network of friends who prove themselves to be reliable, and not being at all afraid to say words like 'No'. 'I don't want another drink'. 'I want you to leave my room.' 'I am going now and I do not want you to accompany me.'

My Dd is very anxious about the move but also desperate to be there doing it all. A couple of her friends are in Scotland and they're well and truly settled in now and it's bugging her! Once the Bf goes then she will be the last of her big gang still at home.I'm hoping she will use the coming week to pack so that next Friday won't be too chaotic.

My DS claims her won't miss her but given they're very close both in age and as siblings I think it will hit him harder than he anticipates.

Yes, that is a very good point Marianne and I ought to have a chat with dd about that.

Dd's best friend is in Scotland and it feels like she has been gone for ages. Dd has still not gone and will be back several weeks before her best friend!

That is very sound advice Marianne .

Well after a week dd has just texted she's homesick and misses the cat
Not me.
I think she's tired after a busy week and needs a good night sleep. She's in bed now.

Thanks Marianne I will get my DD to read your post, interestingly she had a talk at school about the danger of new "friends".

savage
Same here with DD - feeling lonely and wants hugs!!! Also misses her cat!! No lectures today and spending too much time on her own!!

DS texted earlier, any questions were answered with one word. I asked him what he was upto tonight and got no reply!

Horsemad thank you.

Had a nice evening, now back in rooms, big day tomorrow.

Goodnight!

DS is being delivered on Sunday. Packing going OK. He has done clothes/bedding/kitchen stuff. Doesn't seem to want to pack any books , which is odd, as he's always reading.

I did the weekly shop today, and got very confused at to quantities to buy. DD1 is off to Japan on holiday tomorrow, so we will be down from 5 people to 3. DD2 also starting a new job on Monday, so house will be empty for the first time in months.

DS is due to be delivered next Saturday. Just writing that brings back all the proud/terrified/sad feelings of how much life changed with pregnancy, going to school, all the other things we try to prepare them so well for. We're all calm and looking forward, but I can't help thinking how strange it's going to feel coming home to a house with no DS in it and (hopefully) no 11.30pm phone call saying "mum, I'm really sorry, but could you come and pick me up".

DH and I are going on holiday the week after we drop him off. Booked long ago in a rare moment of sane planning to make sure we had something to look forward to ourselves and keep us from trying to interfere too much with DS as he settles in.

I'm sure he's going to be just fine. It's us I'm concerned about.

DILEMMA!! Dropped my DD off 2 weeks ago and she is struggling! I can hear it in her voice and can read between the lines in her messages!

Now do I go visit her tomorrow? Or do I let her 'manage' this weekend and week as she is due home on Thursday evening anyway! (Had a planned outing before she started Uni). She doesn't make friends very easily and has a mistrust of people (long story short / bullied by boys - made fun off about her height/size - depression - bulimia) very low self esteem - she is licking herself away in her room and I'm gently trying to persuade her to speak to others and initiate social contact!
My heart is saying go BUT my head is staying wait!!

*locking NOT LICKING

How far away is she ? If it was a short drive perhaps you could pop over with something she has "forgotten", it is a hard one, keeping them happy vs them getting on with it.

I'd be tempted if it was not far to pop in a cake that she could share, plus forgotten item, she could then use the cake as an ice breaker, as a reason to knock on other's doors. It may be that by seeing you she feels happier and then she might be less home sick. I agree it is a really tricky one.

I was talking to a friend whose son went last year and she said the second week was definitely hardest for her son. I suspect by the second week the novelty has started to wear off and they are all feeling a bit tired and missing home.

My dd does not go until next week and so apologies that I can't offer any first hand advice.

I don't see any reason why you shouldn't visit if you want to quietly. A nice day out and change of scene might be just what she needs. She is probably tired and Thursday can seem like a long way away. Yes to taking cake, that will always be appreciated, I'm sure.

Quietly, my ds was struggling too and I popped over to see him. Took him out to lunch, dropped off a few extra bits for his room and gave him a pep talk about how it takes time to settle and make proper friends. It helped because he didn't feel so alone. He is settling in a lot better now (been there 2 weeks now). It is a process and not all kids settle easily

Can't believe DD has been there a week. Seems reasonably happy, but think the real test will be when course starts proper next week. Being organised enough to get to lessons, keep on top of workload as well as looking after herself and getting to see BF.

Reading between the lines, think see slightly disappointed with flatmates very much keeping themselves to themselves, in rooms a lot when in, although not alll the quiet type. Thnk she's missing coming 'home' after a night out be having someone to have a chat with.

There doesn't seem to be as many going this weekend than last - but good luck to those on their travels, as well as those whose DC are still to go.