DS/DD off to Uni? - Empty nest support thread

[rustybear]

DS is off to Warwick in October - anyone else feeling old? Or are there any old hands with advice ?

DD2 has now almost finished her packing. There are bags,boxes and cases all over the place. She went out today to buy herself toohpaste and stuff. She has now gone to a friends birthday party so I won't see her untill tomorrow, I'm cooking her favorite meal tomorrow evening and will probably have some wine with it to make it a special last meal.

DD is on holiday this week, and I think her Accommodation pack has just arrived.

My Mum works in a charity shop, and from that and her home she has put DD together:
Towels, plates, mugs, bowl, glasses, cutlery, kettle, small iron & a mini fridge!!!

She has a few more weeks though, starts 3rd October.

Oh, and DD found "Toasty Bags" in poundland!

Ooh can I join in . DD1 is off to UEA on the 19th of September, she has a saturday job in Wilkinsons and last week they had a special 20% off for staff day so we were very organised and bought everything she needed in one go - although we did need two trolleys. The entire contents of her wardrobe are all over the spare bed so that she can choose what to take as well as various odds and ends that she simply must have with her. DD2 has just gone into year 12 and DS is in year 8 so it won't be quiet at home without her but since she has been a complete pain for the last two years it should be calmer

Yes, I'm dreading my only dd moving out next week for uni. Which sounds selfish I know - but Just lost my dear father, which was very sudden and has left a gapeing hole in my life.

Feel I need some constants in my life at the moment but everything feels like its in meltdown. I know she can't put her life on hold for me because of whats happened and I really would'nt want her to and I am really proud of her.

I know over time I'll deal with it and we can talk, email etc. but the absence of her physical presence I know will be difficult for me.

Anyone been in a similar situation who can
offer any advice to help cope with feelings.

Sorry for your loss anastasia74. Well we've had a nice meal with DD2 and she sat and chatted to us more than she's done for a while. She is now in the bath andstill has a couple of bits and pieces to finish packing. Wehn DD1 went to uni she was only just up the road and I could see her fairly often. But DD2 will be in London which is quite a long way from Cardiff. DD1 is also lives in London with her DH, they got married in march. So by tommorow evening I'll be down to one child. DD3 is 17 and spends a bit of time with DD2 so she'll miss her.

Milliways check that she is allowed a mini fridge in her room before she goes. We were going to get DD1 one when she started uni but discovered she was not allowed one in her room. Something to do with bieng a fire hazard.

DD had a mini fridge provided in her room at Exeter, but she hardly ever had it turned on because it hummed so noisily it kept her awake.

Can't believe it's 3 years since I started this thread -DS has now graduated & DD goes back for her second year at the end of next week!

How long did it take you to adjust your shopping/cooking habits Rusty?

Mine is off at the end of the month. As he is my 3rd I am getting quite excited-I have lots of things that I want to do. I don't feel empty nest as it won't be long until holidays-terms are short!

When my first one went to uni I went on both cooking & laying a place for her for months

Having said that I expect I will have a few tears when I drop him off!

Milliways - we did have a surfeit of milk for a while after they left - cereal seems to be a universal teenage filler!

DH & I tended to just have snacks in the term-time evenings, as we both have good lunches - I spent last year losing weight in term time & putting it on in the holidays because I was cooking in the evenings.

Well we took DD2 up tp her uni yesterday. Her halls are right next door to the college she'll be studying at and about 5 minutes walk from the town centre. We spent a couple of hours with her getting her stuff into her room and having a look round the town centre. We had to buy her a cable for her laptop as the intente is cable connection not wireless like we have, She did offer to pay for one but DH siad he'd buy it. We had spare ones at home but forgot to take them. It seems a very nice place. I felt a bit sad and emotional when we left her.
I've spoken to her this evening to tell her that her bank card had arrived ( we were hoping that it would arrive yesterday). She has already made some friends and was at the supermarket. So at least she is buying some food.

..... And drink?

She doesn't drink that much so I don't think she'l buy it at the supermarket! She has been asking me questions about the price of everything recently!

We have just had a day looking around Cambridge, as I haven't been yet and probably won't fit in the car when she does move in (take up valuable clothes space!!)

The Porter at the college was lovely and we got to see her room - which is great. She has a newer room with ensuite (have yet to see the bill) with lovely views, so she is very happy and I can imagine her there if I can't drop her off.

Now we need to find a basket for a bicycle!

Oh gosh, I'm about to see this from an unusual perspective, I'm going to be leaving my 1 year old DD with my parents for term time which is going to be so hard, and I know my mum is going to miss me a lot (she keeps telling me!) but she's so excited for me too.
I'm trying to work out how best to drop into conversation that instead of building a school and doing a ski season and working in an office for my gap year I had a baby... I mean how does that just crop up? I don't want to 'announce' it as such, I suppose if people ask about my family? My room will be crammed full of pictures of her but I think most people will assume she's my little sister (have 3 youngers sisters, one is 7 so still quite little and my mum is only early 40s)

Hi Milliways. When does your DD actually go up to Cambridge? The bill will probably be expensive but hope it's not as much as DD2's is. Hers is £5000 for the year and we had to pay the first instalment before she went. We have told her that we'll sort out the second installment but she will have to pay us back. Actully she won't have to pay us back but we haven't told her this as we want her to try and save a bit.{grin}

Well I'm hopeless at typing in smileys. I'll try agaain.

Mumeee - where is she????? The Ritz?

DD starts on 3rd October! She has been invited to a local party as well - they have loads organised next week around the country for people to meet up before they travel in October, in a pub in our town!

AcademicallyTormented: Well done you! DD's friend has just had a baby which put her plans back, but we have just learned all about parent accommodation etc at Uni's if she decided to re-apply & take babe with her. You are very lucky to have your Mum look after her for you, but I can't imagine the double missing for you - your Mum & your baby. I wish you the very best of luck with your course, and all the arrangements. Your new friends will be impressed that you have managed to sort it all out, and won't be able to meet your DD too

Milliways she is in Kingston upon Thames which is counted as London. She could have moved in on the 1st September and can stay until the beggining of July so that is longer than a lot of halls. Most London accomadation is expensive. My DB took my nephew to Guildford to an open day ( he is going to uni next year) and he said the accomadation there is as nealy expensive as DD2's. academicallyTormented well done for geting a place at uni and for sorting things out so that you can go. It's good that your Mum can have the baby. I know you'll miss her but at least you'll know she's safe and happy. I've just done some savoury mince for tea and had loads left over!

Not just London that's expensive - we're going to be paying £5600 next year for DD in Exeter - though that does include all bills, including Internet/phone & insurance.

Well Dd2 starts her course today ( she has an induction week) and I'm feeling nervous which is a bit silly really as it's her course not mine. I just fel I shouldbe there making sure she has everything although I know she is perfectly capable and used to sort herself out at college.
Rusybear that sems very expensive for Exeter,
DD2's accmadation does include the internet and some bills, But she has to pay towards electricity and sort out her own insurance.

It is a very nice house though - they had to book it last November to get it. As far as I can see, they won't have to buy anything else except food.