DS/DD off to Uni? - Empty nest support thread

[rustybear]

DS is off to Warwick in October - anyone else feeling old? Or are there any old hands with advice ?

Well I've spoken to DD2 this evening.She sems to have had a good day. She was at a pub with some friends. I hope she's not going spend all her student loan at pubs!

Well mumeeee at least you have done the leaving at uni bit and she seems to have settled well. We are taking DS2 up to Leeds on Sunday - feel tearful just typing it :{ Just checking he has got everything and still need to do a food shop together.

Anastasia- Has DD gone off to Uni yet? I can imagine how much you are going to miss her but you must feel incredibly proud. xx

I haven't got used to cooking for only 3 yet. I cooked a sausage kegeree tonight and have still got some left ove. I'm still feeling a bit tearful about DD2 but as you said mumof3teens she does seem to have settled in well.

Well DD2 has been awy for a week now. We are gradully getting used to her not being around. I actually for the first time last night managed to cook tea for the 3 of us and not have any left over. I wonder if I can manage that again tonight!
Anyone elses DD'Ds gone away yet?

We are taking most of DD's stuff tomorrow, stopping overnight to see my Dad, who also lives in Devon. DD's bf will be bringing her and the overflow down on Saturday...

dd not at uni yet-in yr 13 but I am silently dreading her going
will miss her like mad

DD1 of to Liverpool on Sunday - not sure if I will get through the journey there without breaking down in tears! Will try not to shame her too much!

Dear All,
Took my eldest to uni last week - we live on Isle of Man so seems very far away and "final" even though Im sure it isnt! I didnt expect to feel so sad and so emotional about it. Have to say it was one of the hardest thing as a parent - take youngster leave in city - drive of and know Im unlikely to see him before Xmas. Im very proud of him and know this is time for him to spread his wings and fly but his mum is really feeling that empty nest even though is not yet empty!! No 2 14 and still very much here. The strength of the missing him has taken me totally by suprise - wont ever forget that image of him confidently walking away. Hes fine by the way! making friends, likes the course so far, seems to be doing the shopping, ironing etc according to his facebook! and he has phoned us. Please tell me this gets easier??
Manxie101

Manxie101,

My DD is off to uni next week but she has had a gap year and went off to India and Thailand at the beginning of the year. She flew off to Thailand on her own (meeting friend there) and it was unbelievably painful saying goodbye, I didn't see her for 5 months so I can relate to what you are saying. I cried all the way home from the airport (and in the airport after she had gone which is a first for me). It does get better once you feel they can cope and the big world isn't going to eat them up. Letting go of our babies is never easy. Of course you will miss him and if it isn't easy to visit your ds then that makes it feel worse but as the cliche says it does get better in time. It is early days for you yet but you will adapt. I used facebook to keep in touch with my dd and texts and the occasional phone call. My dd going to university feels like a doddle at the moment particularly as she will be 40 minutes away by car and I could visit every day (bet she would love that!).

Anastacia, I am so sorry for your loss and it must make your dd going to uni. even more painful. Nothing will stop the grieving and it is all a bugger. Maybe take one step at a time, talk to friends or on here?

Just had an email from DD2 she is enjoying her course so far. She has all readt had to do a perfermance for the 2nd and 3rd years and it was only the induction week this week. She now has her proper timetable and gets Tuesdays and Fridays off, She says she is going to start looking for a job. She also says she hasn't cooked a proper mael yet and is mainly living off of bread and pizza! Another thing she said was that she loves and misses us all which bought a tear to my eye again!

Feeling v teary about taking DS2 tomorrow Not helped by having a chest infection for 8 weeks (me) so feeling v down - will have to cheer up for his sake. He is quite worried about going, but his gf went this morning (different uni) so a few tears from her yesterday and this am. Off to food shop with him this pm for a few basics. Still feel sad every time DS 1 goes back to uni after hols and he is now a 5th year, I really need to let go!

Just back from taking DD - she's just updated her FB to say she's connected her internet & now has to unpack-obviously has her priorities right!
We had quite a good trip, though we did make the mistake of choosing a day when the road outside was being dug up & on a temporary one way system, and the football team were playing at home - the stadium is in sight of the house- so parking nearby was difficult.

It's a lovely house - much nicer than the usual student dump & actually worth the small fortune we're paying for it.

Glad you had a good day Rustybear and hope you have a good tomorrow mumof3teens. I've actually ben helping with a meet and greet new stuents event that our church organise today. We meet students at the station and then take them in the minibus to their halls and help them get their keys and take thier luggage to thre rooms. I was at the staion all day. There were mostly internatianal students coming by train. A lot of the students seemd to have at least one member of thier family with them. One student was from shrewsbury her parents sent her on the train as they were working. She seemed fine but a little bit upset her parents hadn't come with her. I expect she didn't let onto her parents that she was upset that they didn't come with her. She had bben to see her halls on Thursday but ebn then it was a friend who drove her down.

What a lovely idea mumeeee. We took DS2 up to Leeds yesterday. Started to cfy a bit when we said goodbye but felt a bit better when we got home. Think the anticipation was quite stressful. Nice room and flatmates. He sent a text last night to say he had been out bowling with a group and had a great time. So relieved.

Glad your DS has already made friends mumof3teens and that his room and flat mates were nice. It is a stresful time I'm still mising D2 but know she has settled well. DH emailed her last night as he said it was his turn!

Well shes gone. Dropped her off there on saturday. Felt at home among others parents - all looking a little bit - rabbit caught in a head light look/what are we doing here look. Which I also felt.

Lovely purpose built en-suite apartment. I'm soo jealous - wish I was 18 again.

Her roomies were also moving in - 3 boys. whom she seems to have got on with very well so far. (Also another girl who has'nt arrived yet).

Already cooked a meal and been shopping with them. As if they'd been together weeks.

Went back again sunday to take her more things she forgot, with my mum also this time thankfully only 20 mins away - so can pop over for a hug if i get really bad.

After recently losing my dear dad I'm thankful for that. I feel for others with only children that have just gone. Its tough.

Now need more hobbies/distractions. Quick

Seems like she is settling in really well Anastasia. DD 16 has just started college and has a new set of friends that you would think she has known for ages.

Knowing she is only 20mins away I'm sure will be a comfort. It is like a safety net - just knowing you can pop along for a hug means that you won't need to. xx

DD has said goodbye to a lot of her friends now - but the local council have just asked her to do a week at an after school club next week, so she gets another weeks earnings in the bank before she goes!

She is at a party tonight organised by the Uni - they are doing one in each County, to help make a few local to home friends who will be with you at Uni in October.

Mummee - what your group is doing is lovely Have told DD to find a nice friendly church and she may get lucky with people takimg pity & offering the odd Sunday lunch

We took DD1 off to Norwich on Saturday and helped to cart her stuff up to the fourth floor. It was a bit weird leaving her but there was a friendly looking girl hanging around in the corridor so at least we knew DD1 would have someone to talk to. Anyway she's already made loads of friends, been to several freshers events and persuaded a boy from down the corridor to fix her computer when she couldn't connect to the university network. So long as she's happy I'm happy

Hi all glad that everyones DD?DS's are settling in well to uni life. Milliways the party sounds a good idea and yes extra money is always good. DD1's student loan has now gone into her bank acount ( it doesn't go in until the student has enrolled) which is good as I was a bit woried about her spending all her savings before she got it.
Our church actually do free student lunches on most Sundays.

DS2 settling in well and having a great time. HS first lecture today so is v excited (sure that will wear off!) got lots of freebies yesterday (all dental themed ). I feel a bit sad but relief that we have got through dropping him off and the first few days.

I know how you feel mumof3teens. DD1 had her first day of proper lectures on Monday. She started with a voice lecture which apparently was all about breathing, exercising your voice and how it works. . She said the day went ok but it was long 9 t0 5.15 so she was tired. But she was going out with her new friends so couldn't have been that tired.
Dh said what about fruit and veg when he emailed her and she emailed back and said she's eating lots of it and it's nearly gone so she.s got to go to the shop to get more.

Just a quick update. I've spoken to DD2 this morning and she.s geting on fine although she's a bit lonely today as a lot of her friends are sortimg out a script and she is doing hers at a differnt time. . SHe told me that electricity is now included in thier rent which I'm really pleased about. Also she can now recieve parcels ( they didn't used to be able to). Apparently they have changed the rules since last year as thre has been some complaints about both things and also with the electricity they found that students were finding it difficult to sort it out.