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Higher education

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DS/DD off to Uni? - Empty nest support thread

999 replies

rustybear · 31/08/2006 20:09

DS is off to Warwick in October - anyone else feeling old? Or are there any old hands with advice ?

OP posts:
harbingerofdoom · 03/10/2011 20:33

So,so sad. DD2 gone aswell.
Two lively teenagers to nil in eight days just doesn't sit right.
Also had a 'mare of a day-fully packed car wouldn't start. RAC/ring for rental estate time. After three dif. chargers the one from DD1's car worked.(Getting a feel for our motoring here!).
DH shifted car off site and the blooming ticket wouldn't work! to get us out.
Both feel v.v. sad and DH has been quite tearful (bless) just didn't expect it to hit him as he'd thought it all through 'rationally'.

funnyperson · 03/10/2011 21:14

I tried watching my favourite programme on tv.It was very odd to be able to watch it all with no interruptions. Sitting on the favourite chair didn't work as it was DD's aircube which she has taken with her. I loaded the dishwasher then there wasn't any one to talk to. Very odd. I am feeling sad.
So sad that I rang my sister whose DC went at the weekend too and heard all about the massive box of industry sponsored freebies which the Imperial freshers got, the period rooms overlooking the lovely garden square in Kensington (her DS) and the ex council student flat in Brick lane (her DD).

Next weekend is going to be tougher than I thought. I'm feeling a bit rudderless.

lostmymind · 03/10/2011 21:16

Glad you got there in the end Harbinger, sorry it was a rough start, the day's stressed enough as it is.

Mine's gone too :( car was packed to the gunwales, we all unloaded and unpacked him (yes, made his bed for him), had lunch together then left. No drama, no tears, and in a way I think we're all relieved that this next chapter of his life has started.

Coming back to a home bereft of DC's was horrible though - dog keeps running into different rooms looking for DS, finally settled to sleep on DS's bed looking miserable. Place feels cold and empty, I've had music playing all day to try and fill the empty space my DC's have left.

harbingerofdoom · 03/10/2011 21:41

Were your DCs 1 year apart school wise lostmymind?
I think that we all need ideas of what to do that doesn't try to recreate the past. ie BC

gingeroots · 04/10/2011 21:08

lostmymind - that's so sad ,your description of the dog looking for DS is heartbreaking .
Hope you're feeling a bit brighter today .
My situation is different in that DS comes home at weekends - though I don't really feel "lucky " as a friend ,understandably ,said to me .
If I had a confident DS who'd worked hard at school and gone off to uni - as opposed to one who now cries because he feels he could have got better grades - I might .
He says he likes his tiny college ,so that's good I suppose . ( though I'm full of doubt ) .
But ,actually .... I'm relieved not to have him here during the week .
I worry so much about him that it's a relief not to be confronted by his physical presence 24/7 .
He's there and I'm here - it mercifully limits what I can do to help him.
No doubt he'll be back fulltime soon enough ,disapointed in himself and wondering what to do next .
Does that make me sound like the bad mother I feel I am ?
Does anyone else ,though frantic over their DS ,feel relieved that some of the worry is out of their hands now ?

Betelguese · 04/10/2011 21:50

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Betelguese · 04/10/2011 22:53

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funnyperson · 04/10/2011 23:16

Lots and lots of good wishes for your DS Betelguese Good luck for his philosophy exams. Hope it all goes well.

Thyroid things can and do go into remission so there is hope. The blood tests will help. He is doing really really well to be at Oxford with such an intellectually challenging subject in spit of having two serious endocrine conditions. I hope he has a fabulous time Smile

funnyperson · 04/10/2011 23:17

...sorry... in spite of ...
Regular exercise which he gets from walking around that lovely city will also help!

funnyperson · 04/10/2011 23:18

Hope he has a great room to stay in and good luck with the cello!

funnyperson · 04/10/2011 23:34

for betelguese DS

www.childrenfirst.nhs.uk/teens/health/conditions/t/thyroid_overactive.html

funnyperson · 04/10/2011 23:35

www.btf-thyroid.org/

funnyperson · 04/10/2011 23:39

this link explains how the over or underactive thyroid can affect his feelings

www.btf-thyroid.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=104&Itemid=154

funnyperson · 04/10/2011 23:41

here are some telephone support contacts for those with thyroid diseases
www.btf-thyroid.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=55&Itemid=102

Betelguese · 05/10/2011 00:06

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Betelguese · 05/10/2011 00:10

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Betelguese · 05/10/2011 00:11

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Betelguese · 05/10/2011 00:14

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Betelguese · 05/10/2011 00:21

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Betelguese · 05/10/2011 00:26

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Fififi · 05/10/2011 17:09

Well I looked out for an odd besocked young man earlier today betelguese but didn't spot him!

So DD1 is back at Christchurch for her last year. She has gone back into college after a lovely year out last year in ateeny tiny house in Ship Street. She was so excited to be returning , since she's got a shared set of rooms overlooking the quad this year. She and a friend have a large sitting area (two sofas, two arm chairs, fireplace , bookcase - it's BIG) with a bedroom leading off on each side. The bedrooms are small - just room for a sink, small(ish) desk, bed and chest of drawers ( DD1 doesn't even get a cupboard in hers - praise the Lord for argos rails). But with the fab sitting room who cares really? And the overall effect is just what you imagine Oxford college rooms to be like...only downside is a trek down a flight of stairs to the showers/bathrooms and loos but hey....

Being a third year and returning on a non busy day, the ever genial porters ( is it a requirement to be slightly rotund and only about 5'6"?!) let us drive right in to the quad square for 15 minutes so she only had a few yards to carry all the bags. And being right by the entrance she met up with four friends within seconds who all, bless them, cheerfully delved into the car and carried duvets and pillows and mirrors and lamps and martini glasses (!) so we were done in no time.

meanwhile Spidson seems to be surviving freshers week in Durham, though have had text asking how you get butter stains out of a suit ( new, second time of wearing...anyone?). Was amazed that a suit was required on the first night! And next day got a text saying he'd need black tie for the freshers ball later this month....This can't be normal>>>>or is it?

Just the one at home for me now....

Betelguese · 05/10/2011 21:04

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harbingerofdoom · 05/10/2011 21:37

betelguese,funny, and yellow goodness knows how I have valued your help over the last few months.
I think that our dcs are all now at Oxford.
BG hope your son is okay, a close friend had thyroid probs. sorted quite easily but must be monitored.
Anyone know Balliol?

Betelguese · 05/10/2011 22:16

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harbingerofdoom · 05/10/2011 22:22

It is standard,just accept the bloods and he will be fine. Our GP told my DH that he would end up knowing more about the condition than he did-and so it proved!