DS/DD off to Uni? - Empty nest support thread

[rustybear]

DS is off to Warwick in October - anyone else feeling old? Or are there any old hands with advice ?

I know, he's lucky he's going to a cheap town with plenty of student accommodation. £60/week for his room +small amount for bills.

However, if you look at average price of a terraced house in Swansea, you can see that the landlady benefits from a payback time of 5-6 years on the house purchase, and then pure profit thereafter barring some maintenance. No wonder there's no shortage of student lets. I can see it is a lot harder in London. My sister ended up living in some dreadful ratholes during her degree (quite literally, ones where you couldn't leave a morsel of food in the kitchen for 10 minutes- that one above a butcher...)

Betelguese - I could be misunderstanding ,but in this case I don't think I am .
It is definitely students renting across the road .
But I do realise that this is a money making business and loads of people - students and others - are living in c**p accomodation to line someone's pockets .
I was just saying that I know of one situation where the landlord is good .
Trying to be a little positive ! Doesn't come naturally to me ,can you tell ?
Doesn't help all the others I know .

Think you might be confusing me with Gingeroots, Betelgeuse. Although my DS could very very easily have been in the same situation as Ginge's. He was extremely lucky to get a place at all this year with his lower than predicted grades. Never mind the fact that his IQ and results are like, Ginge's DS, severely mismatched. Ho-hum. I think he's someone who needs to learn everything for himself, the hard way. I hope your DS finds his mojo during this year Ginge.

Betelguese the overactive thyroid and diabetes sort of go together as they are both autoimmune disorders. I found ith my DD (who had an undiagnosed underactive thyroid for ages) that these thingsalter the personality in subtle but significant ways. I am thinking your DS shouldnt make decisions about degree until his overactive thyroid is treated also let the college know as it would have affected hs peformance especially for maths.
I am sorry as I do think you do a marvellous job

I agree with you and others that landlords appear to be quite grasping. Before DS moved, in his student house was in a state with black mould in the kitchen and a leaky roof. Luckily the landlord showed me round and a quiet chat pointing out the significant health hazards and asking for it to be sorted before I signed the guarantor form worked wonders.

Betel dont go for a year's leave. Your DS would be unhappy. He could take the year and then retake if he fails, no?

Betelguese your DS's situation sounds very difficult and rusticating brings all sorts of difficulties of its own.

But what do you mean 'The entire care and day to day work for the disabled student falls solely on his family'? Is that your experience of Oxford? I'm surprised.

Just a quick word of warning to anyone whose DC are in Privately rented student accommodation..

In DS1s second year of student renting he lost a lot of his deposit, as did his flatmates, for things that were there when they moved in - scratches on desks, stains on carpets/walls etc etc.. Despite the deposit scheme, it can boil down to the landlord versus the students' word.

The landlady even charged them £70 for wiping down 5 kitchen cupboards - some of them are such rip off merchants..I argued with her for months, she never disclosed the name of her Deposit scheme, and short of taking her to court (costly) we were buggered.

It's a good idea to take photos upon arrival, with the date etc displayed as evidence, if the place is a state.

And if anyones DC are in Bristol, with a landlady whose initials are NK , be on your guard!

Betelguese I'm pretty shocked. The Oxford system is supposed to be more supportive of its students than a more anonymous, non collegiate university. My experience comes from situations which are different from your own, but I've only encountered really strong support.

What would you feel the college should and can do?

Betelguese I've come across that wall before but haven't listened to all one hundred clips. But the ones that I have listened to don't mention disability at all. You make it sound as though your DS has been cast adrift. That surprises me, or disillusions me and hasn't been my experience at all. The Wall of 100 Faces doesn't get me much further: is there a particular one?

I'll try to listen to more of the clips, I've only played a few here and there.

Yes I know the amount of work the students are expected to do and the deadlines for essays and tutorials and the complexity of the regulations too.
It's simply that I've been very impressed by the solicitude of the tutors and colleges as a whole when a disability/ health issue has cropped up. Good, practical suggestions and a sense that the tutors really do care.

It sounds as if your DS's first two years have been marred greatly by his situation which is obviously very difficult to manage (and I assume fairly unusual?), but I hope that's not so.

aargh-dd just called up in floods of tears.
She's panicking about her timetable as she's doing joint degree and has to arrange the timetable. Says she's got lectures 9-5 every day..which I think may be exaggerating somewhat in her stress.
Have told her to find someone to help her and reminded her how she was stressy like this when she started senior school
Still hard listening to her crying.

doesn't joint subjects mean you do half as much of each as someone doing the single subject, so it adds up to the same amount of time?

(NB I don't know this but it's what I've always assumed...)

hope she has got it wrong anyway, & will calm down soon, ggirl

have seen this from uni website

Dual honours degrees and Major/Minor degrees

If you choose a dual honours degree programme - e.g. French and Management - you will study two subjects to Honours degree level with each subject carrying equal weight.

In a Major/Minor degree - e.g. Mechanical Engineering with Spanish - you study the first subject (Mechanical Engineering in this example) for the major part of your degree and the second subject (Spanish) as the minor part. The split will vary from course to course, but as a rough guide the major subject will make up around 70% of your degree and the minor 30%.

As a dual honours student you will work at the same academic level as single honours students, but you will choose fewer modules from the options available in each subject.

so she prob is choosing too many modules or something

Would be surprised if she had lectures all day. Just said bye to ds who is on his way to do a joint degree so will have to wait and see. Dd missed her induction lecture as her internet was not connected until yesterday and she only has access online to her info ! Her oven does not work, neither does the heating so I am hoping the accomodation office will sort that. I think that they are all tired from having to organise everything without us. I suppose the first weeks will be the hardest but once they are in the groove they will be ok.