DS/DD off to Uni? - Empty nest support thread

[rustybear]

DS is off to Warwick in October - anyone else feeling old? Or are there any old hands with advice ?

DS1 is leaving to going to UWE in Bristol in just a week and a half.

First child to go and will still have two at home. Because he has had a gap year the transition for him and us will be a lot easier - we have got used to him not being here half the time and he has gained a lot if independence.

Can't imagine what it will be like when/if DS3 goes.

So looking forward to freedom. I cant wait. I want it to be a very long time before grandchildren are foisted onto me. The joys of serfdom always escaped me. I shall be lying in late at weekends at last. I can nibble salads. I can read books unrelated to childhood or education. I can watch the channel I want to watch in a pristine sitting room in the most comfy armchair and I can play classical music to my hearts content. The word 'no' in its various forms will exit from my vocabulary.
Alas only for 175 days in the year. Unfortunately I will be required to be earth mother at Christmas.

Greenshadow yes dd's gap yr has def helped us get used to her being away for long stretches at a time. I was worried about how her littlebrother would cope with her going as she's like a 2nd mother to him..but I think he'll be fine.

Riveninabingle where is your ds going?

Riven I am sorry about the one who will never leave.

Riven no empty nest for you yet then. Hope you can cherish all the time you h
ave with the remaining two.

funnyperson,yes,yes,yes. BUT......both at once :(

I see what you mean Harbinger- it will be a big wrench for you having two go at once- are they twins?
I tried the 'must cook amazing meals in the little time I have' approach- alas it only ran to Chicago Town pizza from the freezer (again) with McCann smilies and salad- still the favourite DD/DS meal. They shan't miss my cooking at least as its v easy to copy!
Ah well - I guess it does mean I value them more and more ( If at all possible) I keep thinking of little DD age three and a bit just starting school and DS first words and feel quite proud really that somehow everyone has muddled through to at least this stage

No,not twins,just one year apart. One had a gap,other not.
Gap DD1 wasn't sure about going to Uni despite A*,A,B because of the devaluation of languages in our society. Worked her way up to supervisor very quickly in a popular supermarket on this site. Left in April and lived in Seville for 3 months (2 mo language school). Is now very keen to study again. DD2 Oxford.

So glad to find this thread. DD off to Leeds next week DS already in Sheffield.Felt weepy yesterday but not bad today. Trouble is, DS got major depression in uni and is only now entering third year. Sheffield were brilliant about it, his GP was great and he is lots better. I know that DD is different and her stroppy ways will carry her through, but I do worry.

DD off to Reading 2nd Oct, my first to leave , i am really pleased for her because its what she s wanted and worked so hard for i am very proud but i know how much im going to miss her .I plan to hold it together with positive talk and actions until after she s moved in , i figure i can fall to pieces in the car on the way home.

Glad he's doing well hoochy. Well done him to get back on track, it takes a lot.

I took my daughter to uni on Saturday, first to leave home. I have 3 more. She was so happy and excited that I couldn't help feel happy for her, but today I feel so down, think it's just hit me that this is really it, she will never live here again. She has been very good, text every morning and evening and phone once a day

Hmm DS has now left for 24 hours. It must be bad, because I suddenly found his mobile answer message funny. It is a prolonged burp. In the normal way I find it very irritating and juvenile. Now I must be missing him, because a few minutes ago I rang and got the burp and I suddenly saw the funny side and laughed and laughed.

My DS is off to university on Thursday, I feel so sad and am crying just thinking of him going. My 16 year daughter has just left school and gone into employment so no more school runs, I will miss them so much. I have always been a stay at home mum and my husband just thinks i'm being stupid. I don't want to spoil it for DS but i know he is picking up on my sadness, i just wish he wasn't going yet, where did the last 18 years go. Any advise would be great.

Hugs for you picklesanne.
Photos will be good on both sides, skype, facebook and mobile phones will all work. If you can, go and see him in 2 weeks.
When my DS went away I promised him faithfully I would ring him only weekly but in the end I spoke with him practically every second day for a fortnight or so then we all got used to it and the time soon flew by.
This year he has left it 4 days before coming home for a meal and a chat and I'm fine and he is fine about us speaking every day if we want.
I missed their school a lot though, so I go back to help with the sixth former UCAS apps every year which helps me.

The other thing I missed and they missed were the school concerts, so now DD and DS and I go to 'proper' concerts together and it helps us with missing school.

Dropped DS1 off at University this afternoon.

He seemed quite happy and relaxed about it, despite being the only one to have arrived yet in his flat. He is lucky though, in that a couple of his close friends from home are also going there, so was planning to meet up with them this evening.

I wasn't too bad - somehow the fact that he is only 45 minutes away makes a massive difference.

Heartbroken when he we left him. He was upset as well, have spoken tonight and he seemed ok but am so worried about him, really didn't expect to be so upset. Really regret not having a job now because although I loved being a stay at home mum I now have nothing but time on my hands to sit think and cry.

This house always seems ghostly quiet even with one missing- when DS leaves next week we will go from 8 people to 7 in the house. I daresay we'll get used to it pretty quickly. He's feeling very positive about university and living away from us, so I guess we've done an OK job with him. He's only going to be 2.5 hours away so easy to pop back for the weekend if he wants to.

I met a woman in Tesco yesterday who has THREE going this weekend

but still has 3 left at home (I didn't interrogate her about ages etc or if they are all 1st year or what but still, imagine organising that lot!)

I've only got one going, but he is the last, & he's always been a big presence, we will miss him so much

Right have arrived back home after dropping dd off at Sheffield.

blubbed most of the way down the M1

She is already having a whale of a time...thank god.

Ponders the Tesco lady has probably done much less organising than you. That's how it works when there are more than a few. All I've done for DD3 is to buy a small embroidered Victorian table cloth in an antique shop up North for £4 and then washed it (it's to cover the inevitable grotty stained desk). She's doing the rest, same as the other DDs.