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Guest Post: “Why have we overlooked autism in women and girls?”

176 replies

MumsnetGuestPosts · 02/04/2019 15:28

Think of someone with autism. Who do you picture? I doubt it was a teenage girl, or a middle-aged woman. Most people think of autism as mainly affecting boys, and our stereotypes tend to be very male; think Rainman, or Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. But those stereotypes are one of the reasons that thousands of autistic girls and women are missed, mis-diagnosed and sometimes mistreated.

Until recently, experts believed that there were about five times as many autistic males as females. Current research (by Gillian Loomes from the University of Leeds) reveals a much more balanced male-to-female ratio of 3:1, based on high quality studies in the general population. By implication, there are thousands of autistic women and girls who have not made it to diagnostic clinics and are not receiving any specialist services.

Now, in a new book, Girls and Autism: Education, Family and Personal Perspectives, we hope to raise awareness of these autistic girls and women, so that parents, teachers and GPs will think "Could this be autism?" when they see a girl with social and communication difficulties and rigid/repetitive behaviour. Autism Spectrum Disorder is diagnosed based on behaviour; there’s no blood or genetic test for autism. By drawing on real life experiences of girls, their mothers, teachers, researchers and other professionals, we have explored why autism is often missed, and how autism can look rather different in girls compared to boys. While it’s clear that every girl on the autism spectrum is unique, there are some characteristics you might notice and should look out for.

These include:

  • Struggling socially – may find it difficult to make or keep friends, can’t ‘put herself in someone else’s shoes’, or may find ‘doing social’ exhausting, needing lots of downtime alone afterwards (eg after school).
  • Communication is different – may take things literally and find it difficult to tell if someone is joking or being sarcastic, may seem to stick to a ‘script’ (eg for small talk) or copy others (eg to know when to laugh).
  • Finds change difficult – more distressed by unexpected small changes to plan or routine than others her age, dislikes surprises, needs certainty and sees things in ‘black or white’ terms.
  • Sensory sensitivities – can’t bear certain sounds, textures, sensations (eg, light touch, fluorescent lights), but loves and gets lost in other sensory experiences (eg spinning objects or self).
  • Intense interests - has all-encompassing interest in one, relatively narrow topic/collection, and it may be hard to redirect her attention or conversation to other things.
  • Poor mental health – most autistic girls (and boys) suffer a lot of anxiety, and depression (and even suicide) can be a problem, as well as eg eating disorders, ADHD, clumsiness…

“Why have we overlooked autism in women and girls?” you might ask. I think there are at least three reasons.

First, research has often excluded female participants – partly because researchers expected autistic females to be so rare. The result is that what we think we know about autism from research, is actually what we know about male autism; it may or may not apply to females on the autism spectrum. And that research bias matters, because our diagnostic criteria and processes are based on those (mostly male) findings.

Second, most people have a male stereotype of autism, and so parents, teachers and GPs are less likely to think ‘autism’ when they see a girl struggling socially, than when they see a boy with social difficulties. We know that girls get diagnosed on average later than boys, and are less likely to get an autism diagnosis when showing the same autistic features. Part of the problem may be so-called ‘diagnostic overshadowing’; if an undiagnosed autistic girl develops an eating disorder, for example, a clinician may diagnose anorexia, but fail to dig deeper or recognise that this is anorexia and autism. And that matters because the causes and therefore best treatment for that eating disorder
may be very different in an autistic girl; perhaps an insistence on staying at an absolutely specific weight, rather than any concern about appearance or body shape.

The third reason is that autism may look different in some women and girls, compared to some boys and men. For example, while the intense special interests that are characteristic of autism typically have an unusual focus (eg, telegraph poles), for autistic girls the topic is often unremarkable (eg, a boy band, one breed of horse), and may not strike others as peculiar unless they find out just how intense, specific and all-encompassing it is. Some autistic females also tell us that they deliberately ‘camouflage’ their autism, for example painstakingly copying how a socially-successful girl in their class dresses, walks, talks and does her hair. An autistic friend of mine even trained as an actor to learn how to ‘act normal’, many years before she received her autism diagnosis.

For all these reasons, autistic girls are going undiagnosed, with significant consequences for their mental health. In the diagnostic clinics we have worked with, there are women coming for first diagnosis of autism in their 70s, after a lifetime of being misunderstood, and sometimes mis-medicated for mistaken psychiatric diagnoses. If their autism had been recognised, supported and their differences respected, their lives might have been very different. They might not have been so vulnerable to bullying, abuse, and isolation, with all the negative effects on their self-esteem and mental health. Raising awareness of girls and women on the autism spectrum is the first step to change that.

Girls and Autism: Education, Family and Personal Perspectives (Routledge, £29.99) is out now. 20% discount and free delivery with code A008. Discount available until 30/06/19

Francesca Happé is Professor of Cognitive Neuroscience at King’s College London who leads psychological research on autism. She will be returning to this post on Monday 8 April to answer some questions.

OP posts:
NopeNi · 05/04/2019 08:38

Being technical, no one "has autism" which is why some people get annoyed by it: it's not an additional attribute that can be treated cured or removed. It would be like saying "has personality".

Sickoffamilydrama · 05/04/2019 09:00

Thanks @mumsnet for talking about this issue.
Luckily we could afford a private diagnosis for my DD but after that apart from school being supportive we get nothing. I can't believe that surely it would be sensible to support autistic children and their families better.
Most autistic adults I know have mental health problems, some have anorexia and all the resulting health problems that brings which obviously cost our systems money to treat so why aren't we supporting autistic people better so that they don't cost money in the future it seems short sighted to me.
All I want is for my DD to be given the tools to help her function and be happy in a NT world.

YouTheCat · 05/04/2019 09:10

I have 24 year old twins. My ds is non-verbal, has massive communication problems, is violent and also has epilepsy. He lives in a lovely residential place and it was always quite evident that he was autistic from very early in his life. Dd was diagnosed as HFA 6 years ago. She stopped masking to a large extent and reckons she should be accepted for how she is. She is very open about any difficulties she faces and has a degree and a decent job. She recognises her need for downtime and doesn't push herself to fit in. Her friends like her for who she is. She went through hell as a teen trying to fit in.

I'm pretty certain my dad was on the spectrum. I'm also pretty certain that I am.

LightTripper · 05/04/2019 09:46

Your daughter sounds brilliant @YouTheCat (and I'm glad you have found a lovely place for your son to be). I hope I can give my DD the confidence to do self-care properly and find friends that value her for who she is!

GaudaofEda · 05/04/2019 10:03

@LightTripper , @YouTheCat [floers]

Second here autistic teens and adults having a hard time. You fight for SEN provisions at school at it sort of starts working and then they come out of the protective school environment into the world and face a hard schock. Prejudices. bullying, indifference. My DS fell apart after school, still putting him together.

The youngest is at school, I hope she will have a 'soft' landing after school.

I think the discussion should move to acceptance in all spheres of life. It would save a lot of money indeed.

GaudaofEda · 05/04/2019 10:08

@Xichuensis
quotes that are unrelated to the topic autism in women

But of course challenging dehumanising ableist stereotypes is relevant to autistic women and girls. Adults suffered from that all their lives and want a better world for the children.

If you can only understand your autism

But that statement does not mean at all not understanding anyone else. Why do you assign such interpretation?

It is in the context that all people are individuals, not all behaviours are due to autism, this is self evident, but it doesn't preclude a particular insight into other people, including autistic people from the autistic perspective. Why would it?

Are you suggesting autistic people can't have insight into the autism of others and into relationships?

why do you think you can continually wade in on a thread on relationships
Why wouldn't Hedgehog comment on relationships, especially if the thread is about autistic people?

All relationship threads are open to anyone on MN, there are no eligibility criteria in Talk guidelines. In all relationship threads people don't know the partners, but do give advice. What is different for autism thread?

Why are you making a different rule for autistic people, excluding them, silencing their voice?

In the discussion about them?

I don't show 'negativity towards autistic people'
I am sorry, but as you declare yourself to be on that thread(s) they do show more than negativity and stigmatise autistic people.

This is recognised by many posters here.

I don't understand why you came here to target Autistichedgehog individually.

This is more than passive.

abno · 05/04/2019 10:27

Prof. Hapé: sounds like an interesting book and long overdue!

I have a daughter who we are watching out for having Autism/being autistic (sorry, not sure now which to use!) and six relatives with it - both sexes. I wonder two things.

  1. There used to be other terms, such as Aspergers. These are now officially gone (the people with that diagnosis are not, so it's still here!) , but I'm wondering if there was a benefit. The 'spectrum' which has some wonderfully positive parts to it, is so incredibly wide. It's almost like using the term 'blind' for everybody who has a vision problem. In terms of girls and women getting diagnosed, does it really help? None of my family are comfortable with the term. The reasons range between linking it with non-verbal people who will never hold a job and for others because people think they must be super, super clever! Wouldn't it be beneficial to separate this condition out a bit more?
  1. My second question relates to your initial post. You listed some characteristics to be aware of to increase the possibility of girls with autism getting diagnosed. Those very characteristics seem to be felt by some people with autism as characteristics used to discriminate against them: they're unique people, so we shouldn't assume just because they have autism, that they have any of these traits, that nobody should be treated differently because they have autism. Yet, without a certain amount of these traits, presumably, the diagnosis couldn't be made? How can we move forward with diagnosing something in girls that will presumably given them the right to have some accommodations made with the intention of assisting them, when the message comes across loud and clear from people already diagnosed that they're actually no different to anybody else - because everybody is different? How can we navigate these apparently opposing situations? If my daughter receives a diagnosis, how can I say she needs people to make adjustments for her, whilst at the same time saying they need to treat her like everybody else, especially because this is a condition that impacts, at least partly, for many people, social interaction?
AugustRose · 05/04/2019 11:14

@LightTripper I hope I can give my DD the confidence to do self-care properly and find friends that value her for who she is!

This is what I worry about, my DD currently has very few friends in RL and doesn't go out at all out of college. She has one college friend she is very good friends with but she lives 25 miles away. She has barely seen her old school friends since leaving last June, even though I keep telling her I will take her to meet them/pay for her to go to the cinema, etc. She has immersed herself in some online communities that I don't think are good for her confidence/self esteem but she doesn't see it - they are her 'friends' and understand her better than I ever will. She also doesn't look after herself well, I try not to nag but have lost count of the time I have talked to her about looking after herself, eating well and getting enough sleep - she feels tired constantly but if I take away her phone (which I have, even at 17) to try and encourage her to sleep, then I am isolating her from her community. It is very tiring and emotionally draining to continuously watch, she rarely comes out with us as a family any more either, but I don't like leaving her at home alone.

Shakeitoutnow · 05/04/2019 15:55

Thank you @NopeNi that makes sense

LightTripper · 05/04/2019 17:42

@AugustRose - it might be worth you getting the book that the conference was launching. It's got really good stuff in for teenagers - your daughter would probably find it useful too.

One of the interesting things coming out of Felicity Sedgewick's session was that online friendships and relationships can be very real and very positive and supportive for teenage autistic girls. Also that lots of autistic girls only have one or two very close friends in real life and less of the broader casual network that NT girls tend to have - so maybe your DD feels happy with the one close friend she has, even if she doesn't live nearby? Presumably she chats with her online too?

I'm sure I was terrible at going to bed on time at her age too just due to getting engrossed in novels ... it all changes but it all stays the same. I would be inclined to let her keep her phone at this age even if she doesn't manage it very well - you do eventually learn to manage it by trial and error (well, to a point ... I still sometimes don't get enough sleep because I'm reading things online but given I'm in my 40s now that's probably a weakness I will always have!) I think these days all teenagers just have to learn to manage their time online at some point, even if they get it horribly wrong for a while and learn the hard way through exhaustion/grumpiness....

duckduckgoose2 · 05/04/2019 19:00

I’m trying to get my dd (8) more support but the school keep saying she’s ‘fine’ ‘no trouble’ in class - they’ve talked to her about how safe she feels at school (not at all, she reported to them) and that she’s not ‘solving’ friendship issues, has rigid thinking and is fixated on one kid she has a problem with (in fact there are several girls we’ve had problems with over the years and now) but they don’t see she needs more support than being dragged to school. I’ve explained that she is simply not asserting herself at school as she can’t resolve the conflict but I get the general impression they think I should keep dragging her in and that’s that as they feel there is no bullying going on. Any ideas how to get past this?

GaudaofEda · 05/04/2019 19:28

@duckduckgoose2
Your poor Dd Flowers. Sadly this is not an unusual story for girls. I would be surprised tbh that there are no other signs at school. Is she progressing as fast as before, as fast as the peers and in line with her potential? I am not sure what you mean by dragging. School refusal is a serious issue. You could say the Senco she is not coping with school. I would suggest to keep a diary of daily events and her feelings. After a while you would have a picture and could discuss it with the Senco, saying you think it might be ASC and you would like to investigate. You could use the diary to ask the GP to refer to CAMHS or the pediatrician.

Generally it is not unusual that children on the spectrum who cope without support in primary do not manage the transition to secondary well and start having mental health problems and refuse school. So the school know that if she has ASD, it is best to get some support before secondary transition.

I understand there is a lot of good advice on SN board.

duckduckgoose2 · 05/04/2019 20:52

We don’t really find very much out about academic progression in Scotland - they only really say they’re in the normal range or not, we don’t feel she is fulfilling her potential looking at the work that comes home once a year vs what she can do at home. I have asked them to look back and see if their assessments see any decline and that they have continually reported low confidence in every year but no sustained improvement.

She’s 8, there are days I have to put all of her clothes on whilst she tries to take them off, she begs not to go continually, screams, and says people are being mean to her all the time, whilst hitting and trying to run off / bite on the way to school. She has tried to follow me out the school a few times and then she gives up. I pull her along holding her hand. It depresses the hell out of me and both dh and I are worn down and feeling desperate that she’s so sad.

I can see this behaviour is going to be unmanageable when she’s older and can just come home.

duckduckgoose2 · 05/04/2019 20:54

The SN advice (I have postedaso earlier this week) is to get school to address the causes of the school refusal, but the school are giving the opposite direction - that I just have to keep dragging her to things she doesn’t want to do as their approach.

This isn’t a solution though that’s just pushing my anxious daughter around - I can do it, but she needs more help than being told she’ll cope and to think coping thoughts...

RaveOn · 05/04/2019 21:48

duckduckgoose2 my DD was like yours. We went through her primary years dealing with school refusal, anxiety, stress etc. and watched our DD change from a confident, clever, bubbly child into a nervous wreck.

She is in year 7, fully supported with an EHCP, but currently not attending school because she can no longer cope. It is so so stressful.

duckduckgoose2 · 06/04/2019 08:55

sorry to bear that @RaveOn - how can you demonstrate that hidden stress to others?

It’ll continue to be hard to get help for girls on the spectrum whilst the the anxiety is hidden.

Even the tangible measures like school lateness seem to be apportioned to poor parenting - when I say I’ve been up 2-2.5 hours to get her out the door and still late it isn’t going in.

It’s had quite the toll on our health as we can’t get through a day without a serious amount of shrieking at the moment.

RaveOn · 06/04/2019 11:21

It is very difficult to get school to understand and take you seriously, especially when they're well behaved, quiet, and cause them no problems in school.

IME the way to demonstrate my DD's anxiety was to get professions involved eg. CAMHS, developmental paediatrician, ed psych, anyone else you can get your DD seen by etc. Schools tend to listen to other professionals (although not always!).

AugustRose · 06/04/2019 11:23

Thank you for that @LightTripper. We will both be reading the book, a few years ago when I first read about PDA and recognised my DD, she also read it and I think it has helped her to understand herself a bit more, she is also keen to get a diagnosis. She gets a little help at college but this is mainly around easing anxiety and not the cause of the anxiety. Without a diagnosis they can't/won't support her as if she has autism (I can understand that I suppose) so when she has outburts or just needs to be on her own she is not treated the same as the boys who have been diagnosed.

differentnameforthis · 07/04/2019 12:03

@NopeNi - I think the main one is "how will you ensure that future generations of women aren't missed?" Could we run the quick test across all schoolchildren and look at those with especially high scores?

Then you'd miss those like my daughter who wouldn't do well in the test, and who doesn't get particularly high scores. Not all people with autism attain high scores.

Wetoopere · 07/04/2019 13:13

@AugustRose we are in Cumbria and I’ve found the same. Gave up on diagnosis for dd2 after 2 years battling CAMHS. Dd3 would probably get a diagnosis and I’m waiting for assessment. The questionnaires we’ve had are all based on the male presentation and no way to add extra info 🙄

ineedaknittedhat · 07/04/2019 18:27

For me, school was easier to cope with when I attended properly run, stricter places (mid 70s). I knew what was expected of me and there was discipline. Classes were under control and there was little bullying. The other pupils were reasonably mature and we all just rubbed along. They did have the strap, but I only knew of one person who had it and it did keep her in line - she was the class bully, but didn't get away with much bullying tbh. I liked going to school then.

Then, I moved out of the area and ended up going to a liberal comprehensive school which had social areas, modern attitudes and no uniform. The pupils were unruly, cheeky, ill disciplined and didn't want to learn. It was a bear garden. The English teacher used to end up in tears sometimes. I couldn't cope and ended up bullied and with school refusal. I learnt nothing.

People keep wondering why there are so many children who fail to cope in school and for whom their autism is a problem. It's because schools aren't run properly and they're too lax. What I say might be unpopular, I don't care. Schools now are like zoos it's no wonder autistic pupils struggle. My autism was under control in terms of anxiety at the first school, but it went through the roof at my second place.

colouringinpro · 07/04/2019 23:28

ineed I can understand that. My dd with ASD finds bad behaviour, bad language etc almost unbearably stressful at school. There are benefits to today's approach to discipline in schools, but for some kids there are not...

abno · 08/04/2019 08:14

@ineedaknittedhat

Just as well your autism wasn't exacerbated by academic workload or another stress induced by school, or you'd have been strapped too.

I'm going to suggest that if a NT person said hitting autistic kids who "acted out" to keep them in line would be beneficial to other kids' learning there'd be OUTRAGE. Justifiably so. Suggesting things were better when other kids were hurt so some of the autistic kids could feel better isn't actually ok either.

Perhaps the bully was autistic herself - you wouldn't know.

Perhaps the bully was acting out because she was horribly mistreated at home. You wouldn't know.

Perhaps the bully had unmet complex mental health needs. You wouldn't know.

Perhaps she was just born a bitch.

She had no right to bully, but NONE of the children deserved the threat of being hit to keep things peaceful. She didn't deserve to be hit either.

Perhaps you needed to be helped with coping skills for the new environment and you were let down by adults around you (although in the 70s much less was known).

My DF was dyslexic and he was hit many times at school. I'm pretty sure autistic people who weren't quiet and studious were too. What you're suggesting is ridiculous and again, if a NT person suggested it the other way around they'd be ripped apart.

FrancescaHappe · 08/04/2019 11:02

Hello Everyone,
Thanks for all your comments and messages - it's been great to see so many of you supporting each other with ideas and experiences!
I'm here for the next hour to answer any questions you want to send.
Sorry I haven't done this before, if I get anything wrong!

FrancescaHappe · 08/04/2019 11:07

@abno thanks for your interesting questions! The term 'Asperger syndrome' was dropped from the latest diagnostic manuals because there is no 'clear blue water' between someone described that way and someone described as having autism with good language and intellectual ability...it's all a spectrum. But you're right, there's huge variety on the spectrum...

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