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Guest post: "This September, my daughters won't be going back to school"

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MumsnetGuestPosts · 30/08/2016 12:49

When we first considered home education, I pictured handwriting practice, daily reading tasks, desks and mini-projects. I used to be a teacher; I imagined some kind of co-op, where I'd teach four or five children Stuff I Knew and another parent would include our children in a similar group for Stuff They Knew.

We decided to opt out of the school system after a brief dabble with preschool for Evie, who's now five - her four-year-old sister Clara won't be starting school this September either. Society can sometimes laugh, with varying degrees of mirth, about the lack of fun and creativity in schools. But given the government push for testing and an ever-narrowing curriculum, we stopped laughing and just felt a bit sad. We decided that home educating would suit our family better.

Of course, we had early worries about doing the right thing for the kids; qualifications; making friends; the embarrassment of telling people.

Although I'd initially envisioned a kind of school at home, my children don't learn that way; in fact, few of us learn that way. It's how schools work because there are 30 children in each group with one adult, and that's hard to manage. It's what has always been done.

We're usually wet or muddy or covered in ice cream or - on good days - all three. Some days I'm Queen Elizabeth I at Hampton Court Palace (but a nicer one at Evie's instruction, because our ginger queen wasn't known for her benevolence) and the girls are my daughters (but secret, illegitimate daughters, because she didn't have any really). Other days we might go back to check on some tadpoles at the park. The girls are enthusiastic explorers and biologists. I'm a rather repetitive and slightly irritating Protector of the Tadpoles. No tadpoles have been harmed, but many have been stroked.

I always knew that these kinds of activities were legitimate ways of learning, but surely you'd also need lessons, or some form of structured teaching. I had read a bit about unschooling but I wasn't really convinced. The essence is that you live with your children and allow them to live: offer lots of opportunities and resources, and allow the children to choose how they spend their time. Be supportive and talk to them. It's the parenting that most of us did when our children were babies and toddlers. They learnt to talk and walk, and recognise individuals, they knew their colours and how to count, and how to stack things, and what would make them feel better if they got hurt. As I started to look for and find learning in ways that don't look like school, this way of educating, and living, made the most sense to me.

We're lucky these days that lots of unschooled kids have grown up and been to university; they're getting good jobs and living satisfying lives without ever having faced the stress of year 6 SATs or last minute Sunday night homework or bullying.

So we're unschoolers. We don't do it in exactly the same way as anybody else, because everyone has their own set of interests and learns in different ways. We go on all sorts of trips organised by home educating parents - to museums and nature reserves and sites of historical interest - and a whole lot of unorganised trips to parks and IKEA and the swimming pool. We read lots of books and go to the library to get more. We play with toys. We watch a lot of Netflix and YouTube and are currently in a phase of playing an abundance of Kirby's Epic Yarn on the Wii.

We spend time with lovely friends and travel around the country to see family. We never take tests; we're never limited by a curriculum; we don't sit if we want to run, nor do we run when we need to sit.

I don't worry about the same things any more, which luckily leaves me time to worry about the mess, or the sibling squabbles or what we'll have for tea instead. I know this is the right choice for us. If they need qualifications there are plenty of ways to get them; they have lots of friends of all ages; and I'm not at all embarrassed to tell people that we're not on holiday, actually, we home educate.

OP posts:
chubbylover78 · 01/09/2016 06:54

Yes I scraped through my gcse's and I still managed to gain work, is it a bad thing and does it impeed on my son's academic learning? I think not. The op was giving their insight on homeschooling and what they gain from it. I have also given my reasons for homeschooling just like many others. We, as parents want what is best for our children and will give it to them wether it is by sending them to school or not. Not all children that attendend school do well and move on to further education, this is not always the fault of the teacher because not all children are interested in the subjects being taught to them so will not necessarily do well in particular subjects. This also goes for homeschooled children, but as parents that do home school out children we can change the way we teach our children so we can address bordom in a subject and alter the learning progress to suit. Teachers don't have the option of doing this and the children in their class that are bored and un willing to learn what is being taught will not always get a good grade.

Houseconfusion · 01/09/2016 07:06

I was inspired in my history lesson by my lovely history teacher whose knowledge of history and contemporary politics fm was profound - she guided those less interested with all sorts of role play and quietly directed those with a serious interest like me into advanced degree level books for that's what I wanted. She is dearly loved today by students of all abilities

Same goes for maths, chemistry, physics, languages

This is like an echo chamber. How will you who was uninspired and simply lacks the knowledge and advanced learning in subject A motivate and guide a child in subject A to reach their fullest potentials? Answer : either child A isn't interested in subject A or oh yes I will because I think so. Then. - The naïveté about subjects is startling. It's like a flight of stairs you learn one thing and then the other and the very process builds up a base. And here we are being told that te formula you learn in year 7 is used neither in med school nor at the grocers so it's useless.

Jesus Christ. If a child's learning is left to parents who aren't inspired to learn themselves and whose knowledge of a subject doesn't even reach A levels then how will that child be prepared step by step layer upon layer to discover their potentials academically? And the answer to this isn't "all children don't want to study all subjects".

I wouldn't. My mum has a PhD in literature. I found doing maths homework with her utterly depressing. My dad has a PhD in mathematics - talking to him about essays in my language classes was like pulling teeth.

BoffinMum · 01/09/2016 07:23

Chubby you are rather avoiding the question.

And education is about a lot more than scraping through GCSEs and finding work, tbh. As is HE.

FWIW I have loads of O and A Levels, a music degree, a good teaching qualification where we were taught a lot more than herding, and a PhD from a top university, but I can't imagine doing things like secondary science and maths justice. Certainly not in the sense of providing systematic building blocks for higher level knowledge to be acquired later on. I think it's all about knowing what you don't know. (Kruger-Dunning effect writ large).

Batteriesallgone · 01/09/2016 07:28

Also I hate to think how topics like evolution are taught at home. There is so much misinformation about evolution online and amongst people who don't have degree level biology. Concepts of 'design' (not compatible with evolution) and failure to understand common ancestors (so instead saying, eg, that humans evolved from chimps). How do you ensure the information you are accessing and facilitating your child to access is correct, if you don't know and understand the topic yourself?

chubbylover78 · 01/09/2016 07:30

I give up

Houseconfusion · 01/09/2016 07:34

Scraping through levels and finding a job === equipped to lay year on year of passionate inspired inspiring foundations in the wonders of physics , chemistry and linguistics.

I have a PhD. I wouldn't dream of such confidence.

The dunning-Kruger syndrome at work. Massive cognitive bias in those with low ability in Area X that they are actually enormously capable in Areas A to Z.

ShakespeareanQuotations · 01/09/2016 07:36

I have one child in school and I home educate two.

I certainly don't think that my choice to home educate makes me better than any parent of school children.

Home education is right for the two that I have removed from school. One is a very sensitive child who was upset daily at school. A child that lacked confidence and self-belief. This child has now been able to focus on their talents and discovered a new passion. The increase in confidence is astounding.

My schooled child asks to be home educated, but is easily put off the idea and is achieving well at school. There is no jealousy and each child is happy with their decision.

My youngest child has ASD and hasn't yet been given the option of school. They should have started next week, but I didn't apply for a place as I know their current needs would not be met at the local schools.

If I feel that school would be beneficial, or should they express an interest in going, I would certainly look into the schools and choose one that would best support them.

I do find the school system frustrating sometimes and am tempted to remove my middle child sometimes. As long as it works for them, school will still be an important part of our lives.

I feel totally confident in my ability to teach my children everything they need to know. Some things my children and I find out together. I'm a big believer in continuing education and have been learning continuously as an adult, for fun.

I think it's a shame that there are some very defensive home educators and parents of school children attacking each other. One's choice and beliefs really shouldn't bother the other.

BoffinMum · 01/09/2016 07:38

Batteries, I gave a lecture on curriculum last year to a bunch of international educators and showed slides from some of the HE creationist text books. They were scarily ignorant and internally inconsistent. The audience actually gasped at one point.

noblegiraffe · 01/09/2016 07:39

Resources which look set to replace the conventional way of teaching, for example, Maths, and if not, they should be.

Do tell, always willing to learn something new.

Houseconfusion · 01/09/2016 07:40

I feel totally confident in my ability to teach my children everything they need to know

This FEELING however is not any evidence whatsoever of anything.

Batteriesallgone · 01/09/2016 07:41

School teachers do change the way things are taught to engage kids. Of course they do.

I remember a physics teacher taking over our class halfway through term and realising we'd had a crap previous teacher and were all jaded and 'hated physics'. He brought in his model stream train and spent a whole lesson showing us how it worked and getting us to boil water etc. Another whole lesson getting into the minutiae of how circuits work. It was primary level stuff really but kickstarted our enthusiasm again. And he apparently managed to make up the time in subsequent lessons because the class outperformed expectations by the time we got to the end of the year.

Similarly I have a school teacher friend who knocked off a whole lesson to 'build castles' recently (German teacher - shoehorned Neuschwanstein into the lesson to justify it) basically to give a bit of a breather, encourage the kids to think a bit more about German history and culture.

It's easier to teach engaged kids! Every teacher knows this it isn't some HE special secret. Teachers do put effort into inspiring children because over the course of the year that is actually less effort than slogging through with disaffected not interested kids. But yet teachers find the balance between the easy engaging stuff (steam trains and castles) and the hard stuff kids are capable of once interested (NC Physics, German) whereas with HE surely you are solely relying on your research to take you to those higher levels and if you don't find them for some reason you'll never know you didn't. And think knowing steam trains is enough and all your child wanted to learn anyway.

noblegiraffe · 01/09/2016 07:44

I feel totally confident in my ability to teach my children everything they need to know.

I taught MFL for a bit alongside maths (school were short on the timetable, I have A-level and a year abroad at uni). I made a good stab at it, but despite having the language knowledge, I just didn't know how to teach it as well as I do maths. I stuck to the textbook like glue, I couldn't anticipate misconceptions or go off piste, I didn't know how what I was teaching now would affect the student further down the line.

So it baffles me how some people are totally confident in their ability to teach any subject, even those they are crap at themselves.

BoffinMum · 01/09/2016 07:48

I started off fairly neutral about HE but I am now getting pretty alarmed. How can you be confident about that? When a lot of people need to buy in tutoring for the tough stuff?

Without high level input in certain areas your child's education is going to be just a reflection of your own, with concomitant misconceptions and flaws and gaps.

No amount of enthusiasm for lifelong learning can compensate for this, seriously.

Houseconfusion · 01/09/2016 07:48

I feel totally confident in my ability to teach my children everything they need to know

Where does this enormous misplaced confidence cone from. My many years in higher education and lecturing at a leading university today does not make me feel I can replace secondary or primary teachers. An entirely different skill set. I wouldn't even begin tutoring GCSE for extra cash now! The more I research publish and explore my fiend the more the dots connect as to how learning followed those steps, how I am "using" apparently useless school learning. It all weaves into a narrative where passionate learned wise equipped teachers were so key. With all my degrees I wouldn't think of keeping my child away from school thinking I will teach him all he needs to know. Wtf is that even? I do not know all he needs to know.
It's like an echo chamber self fulfilling ones own self.

Blackberryandapplejam · 01/09/2016 07:49

Agreed Boffin.

Houseconfusion · 01/09/2016 07:52

Illusory superiority

Guest post: "This September, my daughters won't be going back to school"
BoffinMum · 01/09/2016 07:52

I used to be an excellent school music teacher but I would hesitate now about going back into that without a refresher course. It's not the classroom management, it's the subject knowledge and tailoring it precisely for GCSE and AL that would throw me.

poopoopoo · 01/09/2016 07:53

It is not so simple to get into college now, do please consider this if you are home schooling! Qualifications are changing and entry requirements are also changing. Maths and English GCSE will be needed for entry to many qualifications. Many universities will no longer except functional skills as an alternative to GCSE.

Home schooling sounds lovely and is a viable alternative if you can set your kids up with a trade or business.

However I do think we are lucky to have the school system we have and if we encourage our children to make the most of it they will thrive.

VilootShesCute · 01/09/2016 07:55

If I had the money and the patience we'd do this. As it happens we're broke and I'd end up throttling the little darlings after week two.

BoffinMum · 01/09/2016 07:56

To be honest, reading the OP again now I am seeing a programme of study and experiences my own kids largely have PLUS they have school as well. It looks more like half a life than it did before I engaged with the thread. Sorry OP. I may be reviewing my position professionally on HE soon as well.

nooka · 01/09/2016 08:19

The OP's children are only four and five and essentially just getting a longer pre-school childhood. It all sounds quite jolly, but the same approach obviously won't work for teenagers. My ds took an online Chemistry course last year (equivalent to GCSE level). He quite enjoyed it and got a good mark, but it wasn't anything like the full classroom experience with a trained, equipped and engaged teacher. I'm sure that there are gains from doing home education well but there will be losses from not going to school too.

BoffinMum · 01/09/2016 08:21

Nooka, what this says to me is that after about 10 or 11 parents need to draw on others for more help. Which is my instinct as an education expert as well.

ShakespeareanQuotations · 01/09/2016 08:21

HouseofConfusion I think you need to step away from this thread. You have already admitted that it's making you 'really fucking angry'.

You know nothing about me, my education or my children.

I know about all of these things and stand by my earlier comment.

The Dunning- Kruger effect quote is getting a little repetitive. I may well suffer from it, but at the other end, where I believe everybody should find things as simple as I find them.

I am not belittling your profession, you really don't need to be so defensive.

I have read back through some of your comments and will not be engaging with you further. You keep repeating the same tired points, mocking those without degrees, and generally just looking for a fight.

Good luck to anybody trying to make a decision about their child's education. There is a lot of good advice out there.

nooka · 01/09/2016 08:26

I agree Boffin, and I think that people who get home education right do draw on others to enrich their children's experience. Home schooling shouldn't equal parents only schooling otherwise it's a very narrow experience with lots of risk of getting it very wrong.

Houseconfusion · 01/09/2016 08:27

Of course it makes me and many quite annoyed! And you're absolutely nobody to be thread policing. If you have issues with a post please why don't you report it? And your threat of not engaging with me isn't going to affect my day really but you know that. Cheers good day to all!