Amnesty's proposal to legalise prostitution is wrong - we can't let men who exploit women off the hook

[MumsnetGuestPosts]

An Amnesty International document leaked this week argues for the legalisation of prostitution. It says that approaches like the Swedish Model – which criminalise buying sex, but legalise selling it – are guilty of "devaluing" prostituted women and "criminalising the contexts in which they live". In essence, the proposals say that most women who become prostitutes make a rational, informed choice – effectively , that they enter into a relationship of equals with the men who purchase their bodies.

I’m really disappointed in Amnesty. I'm a long term supporter of the Swedish Model and, for me, the idea that we should simply accept prostitution as a fact of life is totally wrong. It is particularly irresponsible at a time when it's being reported that austerity is driving many women – and in particular single parents – into prostitution.

I believe Amnesty have got it wrong. Firstly, I don’t believe prostitution is, in most cases, "consensual sex between adults", as the policy document describes it. The idea that women who go into prostitution are exercising 'free choice' just doesn’t stack up. Abuse and lack of alternatives are almost always a factor - many enter the sex trade young, and come from backgrounds fraught with suffering and abuse. Of course there are exceptions to the rule but, all things being equal, I believe most women don’t 'choose', in the true sense, to become prostitutes.

Secondly, I disagree with the idea there can be any real equality between a woman who sells her body and a man who buys it. As Amnesty admits, the conditions of the sex trade are "imperfect" to say the least. British 'prostitute review' sites like 'Punternet' – as well as the male-led 'Hands off my whore' campaign in France – show what so-called clients think of the women they buy sex from.

A large proportion of prostitutes say they experience aggression while working, and nearly seven in ten suffer the symptoms of post-traumatic stress. The dynamic between buyers and sellers of sex ranges from the disrespectful to the downright abusive – but there’s almost always an inequality at play.

Of course, there'll always be some who say that prostitution is "the oldest trade" and that there's not much we can do about it. But this argument is as untrue as it’s depressing. In Sweden, for example, stopping the purchase of sex changes social attitudes, making men less likely to purchase sex and more likely to support prosecutions for others - and there’s no reason why this can’t happen in the UK. Amnesty need to aim much higher. We can do better, surely, than just make the exploitation of women better regulated.

The role of charities like Amnesty should be to lift standards up, not drive them down. Amnesty are supposed to be an ambitious organisation. They shouldn’t just shrug their shoulders and say "c’est la vie". Over the years they've done an indispensable job in ending exploitation, improving human rights, and reducing inequalities. Legalising prostitution runs counter to all these things. It has turned Germany into a "giant Teutonic brothel", as the Economist puts it - and, according to Equality Now, has "empowered pimps and traffickers" in Amsterdam.

Women at risk or in economic need require more opportunities and better protection – not to be told their only option is a demeaning last resort. For the sake of women and mothers everywhere I sincerely hope Amnesty will rethink their position.

[migsy86]

I will speak to someone, I just feel scared to talk about it irl, its been something which I've tried to forget about. Going to work numbs it all for me.

[migsy86]

And thank you all for being non judgemental and kind.

[SauceForTheGander]

Migsy & Quicknamechange - You've done nothing wrong and that's what the right people in real life will think too.

[SabrinaMulhollandJjones]

migsy, is nursing something you'd still like to pursue?

I'm another wishing you every happiness and comfort in life - one of my sons is 12 and he's so sweet and innocent. I can't bear to think of what happened to you at his age.

[CaptChaos]

Migsy, I do hope you do call Rape Crisis, they are amazingly helpful and supportive. I wish you nothing but happiness

[NumptyNameChange]

quicknamechange thank you and well done for getting out of it. not nice having stuff like that behind you but it's a hell of a lot better behind you than current.

migsy whilst i get that you want to deny the 'victim' in you and pretend it's all autonomous and fuck all to do with the extreme level of grooming and shit you went through watching you try and tell another woman that she made an adult free choice and essentially try and shame her into feeling she doesn't have a right to feel traumatised really diminishes my sympathy.

also when you were working on 'daddy' sites did it ever, ever occur to you the implications of what you were doing? that you were actually encouraging men in fantasies about their daughters and underage girls?

i can't wrap my head around your desire to be seen as autonomous whilst simultaneously seeming to deny all adult responsiblity and insight. still that's fine albeit it sad and destructive for everyone, but trying to undermine quicknamechange's interpretation of what happened to her isn't on.

delude yourself maybe but projecting it outwards onto others is always bad news.

[migsy86]

I don't see myself as a victim and I sympathise with quicknamechange and feel bad that she feels bad about her time in the industry, but she, like me had a choice, that's all I was saying.

Yes I felt like if they acted their fantasies out with me they wouldn't actually act it out.

[FloraFox]

migsy the research on sex offenders shows that their behaviour escalates through different experiences. The thrill from a type of behaviour, especially forbidden, gets less and less so they seek new ways to get the higher thrill. They may start out with fantasies in their imagination then move onto porn images of the forbidden sex when the fantasy alone is not enough. Acting out those fantasies with a woman in prostitution is an escalation but it may stop being enough as the punter knows it is not real and the thrill gets less intense. If a punter is fantasising a rape or incest fantasy with you, you are not preventing him from acting it out on someone else. When the fantasy he is acting out with you is no longer enough, the only thing that will replace that thrill is the real thing.

[SauceForTheGander]

Migsy - free choice is a fallacy.

Like I said, we play the cards we are dealt. So if you've been traumatised, abused, neglected, depressed -etc- then your "free choice" and the path you choose is very different to a person who has come from a loving, stable, supportive family who provided and supported you into adulthood.

[horsetowater]

Migsy - It's good that you are finding work harder because it means you are probably finding your real self, the girl that wanted to be a nurse. I think what's happening is that the emotional walls you have built are starting to break down.

For this reason really do urge you as others have to contact a specialist counsellor on one of the organisations that people have mentioned. It might help if you have a one to one with someone that can help you work this through.

Is there any chance you can take a break from the work? You could start another thread in the Relationships section where there are a lot of very experienced people who can see you through this. There are a lot of issues flying about on this thread that aren't really your responsibility to deal with right now. :)

Thank you for sharing your story with us, you have been very brave and you have a lot of integrity. In fact your integrity and gritty determination to survive independently has been what got you into this mess, I'm sure it's what will get you out of it again.

[NumptyNameChange]

if self concern doesn't work for you migsy then really, really look hard at the fact that you've said on here that you would be fine with your daughter becoming a prostitute when she is old enough.

look really, really hard at that.

you're all she has. what mummy is fine with becomes a viable option because mummy thinks it's fine.

really sit back and look at how you have actually said you would be ok with your child doing this - ok with her getting fucked up the arse by a scuzzy man with incest fantasies for £30.

if you can't clear your head for your own sake do it for hers.

[NumptyNameChange]

incidentally if you have no qualifications you can be funded through an access course. nursing degrees can be paid for by the nhs who will also pay a training bursary - all very livable amounts for us mere mortals. stare in the face of the fact that actually there are ways to turn things around completely and build a positive life for your daughter who could know (with pride) what you do for a living and the example you've set her. there really are. i would argue that you made a non choice as a kid influenced by your traumatic experiences and sense of powerlessness (as in real power - not vicarious power, re: being the object of another persons power but seeing that as power of your own) BUT now, as a grown woman able to see the realities, with a daughter of her own, with access to support and help if she wants it it will actually be a choice to continue or turn things around.

i'm really hoping you go for the latter.

[larkinzero1]

Has anyone here actually read the document? As I think we can agree the topic is not black and white. Everything Amnesty works in is all about the context. Also this was an internal document which means it was in a process of debate. I think its a shame that Amnesty or anyone for that matter can't discuss and argue a matter behind closed doors. Judge them on what they campaign for and report on...

[CaptChaos]

Yes, I've read the document. AI state that it's an imperfect world so the use of women as prostitutes should be decriminalised, because men have a human right to sex. This is what they are campaigning for, this is what they want, so I and others are judging them on that.

[Lizpips]

How can anyone argue that prostitution is immoral? It's perfectly normal to buy things and perfectly normal to fuck. Many 'clients' who buy sex do so because they are lonely or disabled and want to har fun with someone who will be understanding and make them feel happy and safe.

Criminalising it means that these men cannot have normal sex lives, and the women providing this service are more likely to be sexually assaulted or get involved in other types of crime.

It also means that the real 'crime' sex trafficking is hidden among all these perfectly innocent people. A legal industry is a regulated industry, meaning the girls are safer, more supported and less underage working girls.


Most of you guys on here are middle aged housewives with moral values from the 1950's and don't understand how it works. Most escorts enjoy their jobs and can make £150+ per hour. Try it for yourself and then you can have a say in it.

Oh and. If you're worried about your husbands seeing escorts behind your back, maybe you should make more of an effort to have a good sex life and then you would both benefit.