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Amnesty's proposal to legalise prostitution is wrong - we can't let men who exploit women off the hook

693 replies

MumsnetGuestPosts · 29/01/2014 19:31

An Amnesty International document leaked this week argues for the legalisation of prostitution. It says that approaches like the Swedish Model – which criminalise buying sex, but legalise selling it – are guilty of "devaluing" prostituted women and "criminalising the contexts in which they live". In essence, the proposals say that most women who become prostitutes make a rational, informed choice – effectively , that they enter into a relationship of equals with the men who purchase their bodies.

I’m really disappointed in Amnesty. I'm a long term supporter of the Swedish Model and, for me, the idea that we should simply accept prostitution as a fact of life is totally wrong. It is particularly irresponsible at a time when it's being reported that austerity is driving many women – and in particular single parents – into prostitution.

I believe Amnesty have got it wrong. Firstly, I don’t believe prostitution is, in most cases, "consensual sex between adults", as the policy document describes it. The idea that women who go into prostitution are exercising 'free choice' just doesn’t stack up. Abuse and lack of alternatives are almost always a factor - many enter the sex trade young, and come from backgrounds fraught with suffering and abuse. Of course there are exceptions to the rule but, all things being equal, I believe most women don’t 'choose', in the true sense, to become prostitutes.

Secondly, I disagree with the idea there can be any real equality between a woman who sells her body and a man who buys it. As Amnesty admits, the conditions of the sex trade are "imperfect" to say the least. British 'prostitute review' sites like 'Punternet' – as well as the male-led 'Hands off my whore' campaign in France – show what so-called clients think of the women they buy sex from.

A large proportion of prostitutes say they experience aggression while working, and nearly seven in ten suffer the symptoms of post-traumatic stress. The dynamic between buyers and sellers of sex ranges from the disrespectful to the downright abusive – but there’s almost always an inequality at play.

Of course, there'll always be some who say that prostitution is "the oldest trade" and that there's not much we can do about it. But this argument is as untrue as it’s depressing. In Sweden, for example, stopping the purchase of sex changes social attitudes, making men less likely to purchase sex and more likely to support prosecutions for others - and there’s no reason why this can’t happen in the UK. Amnesty need to aim much higher. We can do better, surely, than just make the exploitation of women better regulated.

The role of charities like Amnesty should be to lift standards up, not drive them down. Amnesty are supposed to be an ambitious organisation. They shouldn’t just shrug their shoulders and say "c’est la vie". Over the years they've done an indispensable job in ending exploitation, improving human rights, and reducing inequalities. Legalising prostitution runs counter to all these things. It has turned Germany into a "giant Teutonic brothel", as the Economist puts it - and, according to Equality Now, has "empowered pimps and traffickers" in Amsterdam.

Women at risk or in economic need require more opportunities and better protection – not to be told their only option is a demeaning last resort. For the sake of women and mothers everywhere I sincerely hope Amnesty will rethink their position.

OP posts:
SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 06/02/2014 18:19

What age did you start migsy?

migsy86 · 06/02/2014 19:03

I was 19 when I started.

horsetowater · 06/02/2014 21:35

Sabrina - Migsy went through her story earlier, it's fairly traumatic although she doesn't think so! At 19 you don't have much control of your life. It's a time when you make mistakes and learn from them. The trouble is once you've crossed that line at such a young age it must be very hard to come back again.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 06/02/2014 21:40

Migsy, I read your posts - apologies, I must have missed that you'd already said the age you started.

19 is so young - a lot of people now aren't even out of full time education at that age - I wasn't.

FloraFox · 06/02/2014 22:29

migsy I feel very sad for you. I know you don't want this but it can't be helped. I'm worried about your self-esteem and I echo what others have said about getting counselling.

I'm even sadder that you say that you have to do things that "better" women won't do. How do you think this is going to go as you get older? What will you have to do to for these men when there are other younger women around? How do you think your child will feel when his or her friends tell them they saw your profile online and you do anal, watersports, whatever? When your child is an adult, do you think your child will be happy you put yourself through this for him or her?

There's nothing wrong with working in a shop or jobs like that and you've got a better chance of making a new start while you are still young. I have a relative who had a drug problem and was in gang-controlled prostitution for nearly 10 years. She ended up getting Hep B. Since exiting, she has worked in shops and is now a care worker for old people (with all the bum wiping involved in that). She loves her job as she helps people live their final years and die with dignity and she is not squeamish so she doesn't care about the bum wiping. Her clients love her and she becomes like part of their family.

There is so much more for you than your future situation if you carry on in prostitution.

doublelife111 · 06/02/2014 23:06

Okay i am moving on from this thread now.I am happy and my kids are happy and I spend my other job making women and their families happy and escorting making men happy..thats plenty good enough for for me.
Migsy,the more you post the more i am so saddened for you,you truly deserve more out of your life than enduring something you are not enjoying.I really hope you can move forward positively as soon as possible.Like others said here it is absolutely possible.
I actually do anal/watersports etc sometimes but just because i like it.And i am submissive.
To kimberleyc..you sound like exactly the type of person i would love to meet and call a friend in this business :) No idea where you are based though x

horsetowater · 07/02/2014 12:58

Drug dealers say much the same thing about their job - 'giving people what they want'. The longer you stay in that game the harder it will be to go straight and you will start to seek out harder core acts which psychologically make the other stuff seem more acceptable. Every time you act the submissive to a man you are letting yourself down.

What a sad world you live in Doublelife.

migsy86 · 07/02/2014 13:23

But it's just sex horsetowater. For me having sex is like going to the dentist. I cant understand why we have to give it such a high status.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 07/02/2014 13:39

migs, it because so much abuse happens to women and girls in supplying the demand for commercialised sex. Sadly.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 07/02/2014 13:42

Also, it's not just sex. It's sex for payment - and when money is involved, you get the profiteers. Profiting by selling women's bodies for sex.

NumptyNameChange · 07/02/2014 13:43

going to the dentist is an uncomfortable but necessary experience that protects our health and stops our teeth falling out.

it really isn't like going to the dentist. it's perhaps like letting a person who gets of on playing a dentist and pulling your teeth out do so for £30. that's as near as the analogy gets though.

NumptyNameChange · 07/02/2014 13:44

ergo we take our children to the dentist whilst presumably you wouldn't hand your child over to a punter.

NumptyNameChange · 07/02/2014 13:46

oh and the dentist doesn't expect you to moan and wiggle and pretend you're enjoying the experience. nor do dental patients have a massively higher rate of mortality, rape and assault than non dental patients.

NumptyNameChange · 07/02/2014 13:47

what you do is not sex. sex doesn't involve the exchange of money because both people want it and enjoy therefore there is no call for money to be exchanged - it's a freely entered, payment in itself act.

prostitution is not sex.

horsetowater · 07/02/2014 13:48

And dentistry is a necessity rather than an option.

Migsy you have just normalised all this. It's what people do to protect themselves emotionally.

KimberlyC · 07/02/2014 16:11

"what you do is not sex. sex doesn't involve the exchange of money because both people want it and enjoy therefore there is no call for money to be exchanged - it's a freely entered, payment in itself act."

WHAT? This is sheer nonsense. You just made this up. Ridiculous.

Of course it is sex.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 07/02/2014 16:18

It is not 'just sex'. It is sex for money. That makes a difference - it makes it something that others profit from, as well as the prostitute herself.

It makes a woman's body into a commodity.

migsy86 · 07/02/2014 16:27

'It makes a woman's body into a commodity.'

Just like a footballer, rugby player, any other sports person, model, actor. Take the emotive side of sex away and we are just providing a service.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 07/02/2014 16:31

No, migsy, not just like that.

Footballers aren't sold into the football business, held prisoner, have their passports taken, raped, beaten....

Footballers aren't suffering from poverty, drug addiction, desperation or gender inequality.

Beachcomber · 07/02/2014 16:34

Catharine MacKinnon calls it "you do what I want sex".

BriarRainbowshimmer · 07/02/2014 16:39

It involves sexual contact but it's only "sex" for the man isn't it - he is the one getting pleasure. But he could just as well be wanking because the other person is not into it and he could swap her for a blowup doll. Sex is not something you endure like going to the dentist. (!!!) Sex is pleasure.

That is my view.

migsy86 · 07/02/2014 16:40

Yes I do what others want but its still sex.

People are held as domestic slaves but you don't hear people calling for and end to home cleaning services of which people may enter into through poverty and desperation.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 07/02/2014 17:03

Well I see all forms of human trafficking as a massive problem for society, and a massive crime. Domestic slavery is no exception - but I think it is a different scenario than sex trafficking.

For a start, the majority of trafficked humans are for the sex trade. Secondly, around 97% of victims of sex trafficking are female - they are trafficked by organised criminals - and they are being raped over and over again, every day, in order to meet the demand of men for sex they think they have a right to.

anothernumberone · 07/02/2014 17:39

What about future relationships? What man is going to want to share his partner with other men? If you happen to find one who is happy with that arrangement what type of man have you found? a pimp?

I found myself fascinated years back watching 'Diary of a Call Girl' and then I had to stop as I thought about how it was glamourising what 99% totally made up statistic I get that of the time is a miserable experience for the women involved and how by allowing that to be normal in our house I was buying into the notion of the 'happy hooker'. I get that some women see this as easy money but the reality is it is not easy money, the price is so high and women pay i with their mental health and self esteem, if not with physical and sexual abuse. Anyway none of that is judgement on the women on here who I think are very brave I just wish to God a world existed that did not need women to sell sex to make a living.

migsy86 · 07/02/2014 18:00

I don't want a relationship. They are more damaging than what id do, at least I don't get my feeling messed with. Plus I could never trust anyone enough to share my life with them.