Nursery isn't pushing my son enough

[poco2015]

I am not sure what to do. My son is in full time nursery, he is 2 and a bit. He has begun blending and is reading cvc words and sounding out to help him. He is fantastic at numbers can count to 20 (and beyond when he feels like it) can understand the concept of taking away and adding (with objects). We have been doing doubling and halving at home which he can do but sometimes doubles when you say halve and halves when you say double, but we have been doing this for only a week so he is still bound to make mistakes. At the moment when the preschoolers do phonics and maths time DS goes in with them, I keep asking for them to help him with his fine motor but they say they are, but we are not seeing much improvement and what they are doing seems to be very basic. wwyd as i don't want to come across as too much of a controlling mum. I already pushed to get him into the preschoolers room for the phonics and maths

That's what I meant greylady

Why on earth did you push to get him into the preschooler room? Poor little chap

As for "helping him him with his fine motor" - just let him play, scribble, have fun

You will be coming across as a controlling mum BTW

What would the rest of nursery class be doing when your DC is having all this extra 'pushing'

OP, let your DS enjoy his time at nursery. You need to relax and stop trying to make yourself into one of those parents. Your DS has all the time in the world to be educated. Let him play while he can.

Fine motor skills can be encouraged with playdough, dressing and undressing dolls and teddies, sticking and gluing. Not by writing at this age. Threading beads and Duplo are also good! Play can be v educational.

I just interested in how you feel your son compares to other two year olds?

Really it isn't normal for a two year old to be 'pushed' like this. You are wasting your time with this approach. Forcing him into formal learning will do him no favours. They are tiny for such a short spell of time and, speaking as a teacher, children are institutionalised soon enough.

Let the wee pet play and enjoy not being shackled to education while he can.

My DS was like this with numbers, at 16 he really is fabulous at maths and the sciences. I think, with the greatest of respect, that it's important at this stage to learn many other skills other than academic. I mean social skills, and enjoying playing with others and independence etc.

Our nursery could see how much more advanced my DS was, but he seemed to find his own level naturally. For example, at 2, he once was playing with a number jigsaw, ordered them 1-9, ordered them backwards 9-1, also realising number 7 was missing and on the floor initially. The other kids were happy just playing with the numbers and having fun. He was with them, also having fun

What I am trying to say, without boasting, is that I really wouldn't worry too much at this stage. If he is that good, he will remain that good. He doesn't need to be pushed. Enjoy him!

At this age he should be learning social skills and how to play. Through this he will be learning the fine manipulative skills needed.

So, he is at nursery full time and you do extra maths etc at home...?

When is he getting to just play?

Do you want to end up with a child who has no social skills, no ability to play and who can not find any common ground with his peers?

OP gone into hiding? Yep, totally agree with everyone (unanimity on a MN thread - wow!). My DN was pushed hard (her dad insisted that she would know all her letters by 2, and she did - she is bright), but I can honestly say that at 7 she has better skills than my DD (reading, spelling etc), but my DD has caught up a lot in the last year or so. I would probably have been classed as gifted now, but didn't read until 4. Other things much more important for him at this stage

Poco - please listen to what has been said here. There is so much more for your Ds to learn at this stage. if you force him in the narrow areas you want to focus on, you risk turning him off learning altogether. And he could be missing out on learning things he should be learning now - colouring, cutting, gluing, sticking, physical skills.

Back off oh my days

Dp is a teacher. He sees children like yours crash and burn just when it really matters on a depressingly regular basis.
They get fed up of Being pushed, crumble under the pressure or rebel against it all.
I was reading fluently at 2. In later life, I'm distinctly average and quite happy to be so.

Why does he need to be pushed? At this age learning should be through play and fun, structured learning doesn't really even happen at school until year 1 / 2. You're going to make your child anxious and miserable if you carry on like this, you need to step way back.

Op I'm all for helping children reach their potential. I've always done extra stuff with my kids.
Your ds is only 2 though. At that age they should be learning about their world and themselves. Yes books and numbers are a part of it but there is so much more for him to be doing.
Let him enjoy being 2. Let him take things at his own pace and explore. Take him out and show him stuff and talk to him about it.
He'll get more out of that then being pushed to double and halve numbers.

sorry hadn't gone into hiding, was doing dinner. His peer relationships are typical of a two year old, in that he has a good friendship group is happy to bond and play with other children, with the occasional pushing and falling out which all children seem to do. He loves messy play and getting dirty, loves playing in the mud kitchen we have at home and loves to play with in all the jelly and things they put out at nursery. In fact the first thing he does when he goes in is usually to put his apron on and go straight for the wet / messy area. It has not always been my opinion that my son is gifted, this was pointed out by his previous nursery, current nursery, previous hv and current hv. Yes we do lots at home, but its never forced, if he doesn't want to do it I don't make him, he can wonder off if he wants. Nursery have not said much about his fine motor skills just that this is one of the only areas he is 'beginning' for his age range. But I do see him get frustrated when he can't do things that other children can do when he is trying to copy them. I appreciate most of your insights so thank you. He loves doing phonics and singing all the songs they do with it. He loves doing the actions. Thankfully the school which we will be in the catchment for move children around for phonics/literacy so they are in lessons based on their abilities so hopefully will not have to do the basics again.

OP you are setting your son up to be a huge disappointment to you. You have unrealistic expectations and the pressure can cause untold damage. I have a friend with a gifted (well basically just cleverer than average) child and she pushed/pushes him nowhere near as hard as you do and he has turned into such a 'pleaser'. He is desperate to succeed for his Mum's sake, puts so much pressure on himself, always needing approval and it's very sad to see. He has just started secondary and is by no means exceptional amongst his peers.

Thankfully the school which we will be in the catchment for move children around for phonics/literacy so they are in lessons based on their abilities so hopefully will not have to do the basics again.

Oh yes he will. Most things that are taught in nursery will be totally disregarded once he gets to school and they will start from the beginning with everyone.

Reception in state normally stay in reception.

Yes they also do start at the very beginning.

1scoop they all mix up for phonics after the first half term, they mix within ks for numeracy.

lexi thank you for the advice, will cut back on the maths and reading and give him more opportunity for fine motor at home.

They all mix up for phonics? I doubt that very much...

Some schools provide more of a mix for phonics actually, my dc's school has mixed classes and children will go into different classrooms too. Dd could read well before school and in reception she did phonics with year 1 and went into class 2 for a thing they did called the big write. In year 1 she was in a mixed year 1/2 class and did the year 2 literacy.

But I do think you are setting yourself up for disappointment op, nothing wrong with following his lead and doing reading if he wants and I'm sure he is a bright child but early reading etc is just a party trick really. Just enjoy him and try not to compare him to others or worry about school and so on.