Should I 'warn' school about DS?

[AblativeAbsolute]

My eldest is starting Reception in September. Now, with all the usual disclaimers (too early to tell, they progress at different rates) I nevertheless think he's very bright. He reads fluently (to the level of something like an Enid Blyton, I guess), and also loves numbers (addition, subtraction, basic multiplication) and puzzles (sudokus, crosswords) and general 'stuff' (dinosaur facts, science experiments, capital cities etc). Anyway, my question is, should I talk to the class teacher before he starts, or just leave her to find out for herself? I don't want to come across as a pushy parent, but I do want to make sure that the transition is as smooth as possible (DS is also a pretty sensitive little chap). Does anyone have any helpful experiences to share?

I might mention the reading, but depending on area they might be underwhelmed. I personally wouldn't mention the rest as it's not all that relevant at reception level, imo, but that's just a parent's view

He is advanced and it's worth the teacher knowing that. My dd's school do a home visit before they start Reception, and that is obviously a good opportunity for the discussion. Since they meet the child as well as the parent, it is also easier to just sit back and let them see for themselves. Does your school offer that?

My dd is now in Y1. There is one child in the class who is light years ahead of the others (no, it's not my dd ). There is another child who has SEN and is way behind. They both seem to get the education they need and are very happy kids with plenty of friends. My dd talks about her way-ahead friend and his 'big BIG brain' in a very positive and relaxed way - his cleverness is as interesting and significant as another child's curly hair, or new dog. But he does get stretched by activities that the other children don't do, and his mum tells me that he loves school.

That's what you're hoping for, isn't it?

I would mention it casually if an opportunity comes up.

We were in the same situation and had a couple of sessions in school to meet the teachers, so I dropped it in then. It was useful, as quite early on they took her to the library and looked for reading books for her.

Do you know what kind of introduction to school there is yet?

I was in the same position with dd. She is 12 now and always been very bright etc. The school she started at had a nursery attached to it and so all the children bar her went there (she didn't go to any nursery - i kept her home) so the teachers didn't know her at all. She went to school for a few hours on one day like a little get together session and liked it. On picking her up the teacher mentioned she was bright as she had done a puzzle "that was quite hard". I mentioned then that she could read and write and teacher didn't seem that keen. I always think they want the children all the same. I felt the same too whether i would seem pushy or some type of weirdo. Its worse when i didn't know one person at the school either so they kept staring! In the end i just left dd to it and let the teachers speak to me (which they did). They will soon let you know what they think. Just try and make sure he is challenged (dd not and was left to her own devices most of the time - apparently school couldn't find anything for her).Best wishes to you and your son. x.

We had a meeting with the teacher before ours started school so got the chance to discuss this. They asked what they liked doing etc.

I don't know why it would affect transition, anyway, most of the transition trauma has to do with routine changes, taking turns, waiting patiently, being quiet, how to socialise, following instructions, adjusting to the other children's personalities, having to stop something they dont' feel like stopping doing when told, etc. All of which applies no matter how precocious they are (or not).

Thank you so much for all the replies. Devora that is exactly the kind of situation I'm hoping for - if it works out that well, I would be thrilled. Also, thanks all for reassuring me that I'm not just deluded about him being bright! And I'm pretty sure that he's in a fairly different league to most of the others in his class at the moment - it's a very small school, so I know most of the children reasonably well already, and they're mostly at the reading/writing their name, counting to 20 stage. It also doesn't help that he's going to be nearly five when he starts, whereas the others are mostly summer babies, which just accentuates the difference.

Re induction, I've just found out the process, which seems very thorough. They do three settling-in afternoons in July, and I understand there's also a home visit, so there should be lots of opportunity to talk to the teacher. I was also encouraged by the fact that when I first went to an Open Day there (two years ago), and mentioned to one of the teachers that DS was already reading, instead of seeming bothered by it, she recommended a couple of non-curriculum resources I could use at home to encourage him.

Ragged that's a perfectly fair point, and I can't really put my finger on why I think it might affect transition. I think it's just that, given I think transition might be quite tricky anyway (he's great at obedience, taking turns etc, but very shy/socially awkward/'highly sensitive'), I guess I just think that the sooner the teacher 'gets' him, the easier it will be for her to settle him into the school environment.

I think you're right to worry about it, because it could well make a difference.

For DD, once the excitement of being at school for the first time had started to wear off, she started to disengage from it a bit. After a while we worked out that she was feeling a bit put out because other children were being praised for things she could already do, and she wasn't! There were loads of other factors in this too, but a quiet word with the teacher and her getting the chance to show off what she was capable of really helped.

you could mention the reading. a good teacher will pick up that child is bright surely.
Don't be disappointed though when others in class catch up

I think that being bright is very different to being taught, and o child is going to learn to read by themselves. So, personally I would approach the teacher with a kind of 'he showed an interest in words/ numbers etc and we directed it usefully towards teaching him to read'. That way, no danger of coming across all pfb but job done in terms of letting them know he'll coast Reception.

o? 'no'

I didn't say anything to the school nursery teacher probably because she looked dismayed that he had been at home with me full time until he was four and to be fair I wasn't really aware of what was typical and what wasn't and I trusted that she'd notice if anything was particularly good or bad tbh. Three days in she asked to speak to me and questioned why I hadn't mentioned how able he was and to ask to refer him to an ed psych as she believed he was gifted, psych confirmed he was. So for me it worked out fine that the teacher discovered it herself.Ds spent more time with y1/2 but that was before EYFS.

If he is at pre-school/nursery then they have meetings with all the YR teachers to discuss every child so they should pass the information on. I personally would say something, my DS's teachers knew about his reading and gave him appropriate level books from day 1 rather than waiting till they gave them out to the other children.

notactuallyme - children can actually teach themselves to read to an extent, DS1 learnt his phonics from a kids laptop on his own (he had broken his leg so played with it a lot for a couple of weeks), he then just pick up books and could read any phonetically built words straight off. Obviously we had to teach him the rules of the other phonics such as 'oo' and 'ee' and also the magic e etc but he genuinely could just read.

Lou - yes, ds taught himself phonics but has needed help to get past that. To enid blyton standard? With no input but because he is 'bright' ? I think not. Best be honest about the amount of input he has had, its not like its shameful to teach your kids stuff.

Notactually that's not necessarily so ds read the "in case of fire" notice on the wall on his first visit to nursery including words like "nearest assembly point" I didn't even know he could read until he'd reproduce words from memory with magnetic letters. He figured it out for himself purely by memorising words from books I'd read to him spotting patterns and deciphering words that way. Ds was pre phonics teaching being in vogue anyway. The three out of my five children who could read before school I didn't actively teach at all I just read to them and listened to them "read" (share stories) to me.

Insanity is right. I don't think it's that common but it does happen.

DD worked out how to read for herself when she was 3 and a bit. We'd read to her a lot, but that was it. We also had no idea how well she was reading until she started reception and they tested her, to discover that she had the reading age of a ten year old.

I think I would have found it really hard to teach her to read, because no one ever taught me, either, I just picked it up too at about the same age.

notactuallyme - yes I said that once my DS could read all phonetically built words he had to be taught the other rules but there are other children that are exceptional and can do this.

I do think he could have taught himself though in time as he had an incredible memory and has had a reading age double his true age from age 3. We just intervened as he was so keen to be learn more, but at 3 we could say, if there is an E on the end it changes the phonic sound to the letter name and he would just remember the rule and could read those words from then on.

Yes, my DD (now 8) also taught herself to read at the age of 4 - without any actual teaching by us. She just picked it up on her own because she was very interested in books & letters.

Now that she's in Y3 her spellings are from advanced KS3 (things like arachnophobia, claustrophobia, pteramehanophobia - ironically, I have no idea if that is the right spelling myself!). So they don't always 'grow out of it' and the others don't always 'catch up'....

I totally agree, DS1 (Y1) has shown no signs of slowing down and the only children on the same reading level are the top group of the year above. The school fully expect at least 3 sub level progression for him next year as well so they don't think he'll slow down either.

In this case, DS has had plenty of input from us (plus websites, books etc) but it's all been prompted by him IYKWIM. We never 'decided' to teach him to read - but he would always be pointing at letters on his alphabet mat and asking what they were, or when we were reading a book he'd keep saying 'where does it say gruffalo?' etc. We've never tried to hold him back, but equally we were always conscious of not wanting him to be too far ahead at school, so we always let him lead (eg the multiplication thing - it only happened because he saw a sum in his Vtech laptop workbook and said 'that's wrong, mummy, it says 3 + 4 = 12', and kept pestering until I explained that actually it was 3 times 4. That was it - explained once, he can now do multiplication.) That seems to be partly why he's so far ahead at the moment - he's insatiably curious, and also has a fearsome attention span. But obviously people always assume that we've been 'hothousing' him since birth .

Those people obviously have no idea and I really wouldn't worry. We felt the same and like you only did what he wanted to do. I really believe that the attention span has a lot to do with it. DS1 had a huge attention span and it makes so much difference.

DS2 had zero attention span until he was nearly 4, once he actually could sit down long enough he could just write his name straight away (it was in his head and he knew how to do it but he never sat down long enough to do anything until then).

I find it hard to respond to mums of other kids he'll be at school with. I'm always getting comments like 'Wow, BabyAbsolute is so amazing, isn't he, he's so clever' (often in front of him, which makes me very annoyed). What do you say? 'Yes' - and look like a super-smug parent. Or 'Oh, he's not really' or 'Oh, they all develop at their own pace', which just looks like false modesty. I still get this myself when people find out where I went to university - 'Oh, you went to Oxford, you must be really clever'. I mean, what are you supposed to reply? Maybe next time I'll try, 'Yes, actually, I am' .