Should I 'warn' school about DS?

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My eldest is starting Reception in September. Now, with all the usual disclaimers (too early to tell, they progress at different rates) I nevertheless think he's very bright. He reads fluently (to the level of something like an Enid Blyton, I guess), and also loves numbers (addition, subtraction, basic multiplication) and puzzles (sudokus, crosswords) and general 'stuff' (dinosaur facts, science experiments, capital cities etc). Anyway, my question is, should I talk to the class teacher before he starts, or just leave her to find out for herself? I don't want to come across as a pushy parent, but I do want to make sure that the transition is as smooth as possible (DS is also a pretty sensitive little chap). Does anyone have any helpful experiences to share?

I always say 'oh but he's really rubbish xyz and your DC is so good at that' - thats awful I know but for some reason (esp on MN) you cannot think/know your child is bright unless they are taking their GCSE's in YR!

Hi,
If your child is gifted rather than more able the school can determine this with NFER testing. This is used at my school to determine gifted children so they can be dealt with appropriate to their needs. There are children who have skipped a year (started in yr1), children who join different year groups for Maths or Literacy, children who are given extension activities in their curent classes. I would speak to the school about what they do to meet the needs of the child and see if you can have this testing done before he starts in reception as is mature enoughand worjign beyound his years he may be better off starting in yr1.
Hope this helps.

Do they let them miss a year? I'd be really sad for mine to miss out on reception - plenty of time for learning the rest of their lives but those social skills and just time to play are so important, often especially so for those more focussed on the 'intellectual' stuff

Mine are able probably, not gifted. I always say 'yes he is, isn't he. What's your son's talent?' Or similar when someone comments. I don't care how wanky it sounds, I'm not pretending they're not bright or putting them down just to be 'english' and 'modest'. I never draw attention to it though either

Do they let them miss a year? I'd be really sad for mine to miss out on reception - plenty of time for learning the rest of their lives but those social skills and just time to play are so important, often especially so for those more focussed on the 'intellectual' stuff

Mine are able probably, not gifted. I always say 'yes he is, isn't he. What's your son's talent?' Or similar when someone comments. I don't care how wanky it sounds, I'm not pretending they're not bright or putting them down just to be 'english' and 'modest'. I never draw attention to it though either

Can I just point out I am not being unkind? My ds starts this year, was the only one of four to show continued interest in numeracy and literacy and we have directed that toowards useful stuff. So he can read now, can add up, multiply small sets etc but aLl I was saying was why not approach from the we have helped him to learn (as op says she has) rather than the he is so clever angle. Avoids any eyebaLl rolling.

I would also class reading books with a child or giving them computers tailored to phonics as teaching them.

that does sound like a more sensible approach notactuallyme. I was lucky in the fact that DS's pre-school visited the school regularly to join in an Early Years class so the school recognised it anyway and let him join in with YR literacy from about 2 1/2 anyway so I never had to speak to them about it.

If I had I would ahve been worried I guess about how to say what he was capable of as I still get the impression some teachers would rather all children be at the same level.

We definitely did stuff with DS1 once he showed an interest, DS2 has only just started showing an interest (just turned 4) but we would not have pushed him before this as he just wasn't ready.

I also think its very obvious which parents have positive input with their children at home and those that don't, most teachers will be absolutely fine and will enjoy having bright children in their class.

richmal I gave him the computer to teach him to recognise numbers, he had broken his leg so needed something he could play with sitting still at first, he accidentally went onto the phonics game and at 22 months knew all his phonics within 2 days. If I had given it to my other DS even now he may just about be able to learn all the phonics but he does not have the ability to just blend the words just yet.

Why is it not possible for children to have natural ability? There is nothing wrong with that or teaching them more to help them progress further.

I have 2 very different children and I understand that DS1 is very naturally able academically but DS2 has many other talents that I recognise and nuture in a totally different way.

Sorry richmal I am probably being a bit defensive, I have to put up with a bit of negativity about this issue from other parents so I have probably taken your comment a bit personally and after re reading it, it doesn't really sound that way.

I think reading books with a child is just nice and a thing that is not related to teaching them. The cross over comes when you start counting the words tgether, picking out sounds etc and (like us) reading ladybird easyread books - aiming to get them able to do this themselves. We read books to ds 3 from age 0 and tbh he just loved stories. Ds4 however has shown a natural interest which I am sure could be classed as a natural ability at this tiny age. I will happily be coming at this from the he already knows this stuff, angle, as I don't want him to get bored.

Hi.

My DS is now in Reception (don't think I've been here in over a year!!). I too was thinking about this a year ago.

In the end I chose to let my DS "go with the flow". We had a parents evening about a month in where GS was described as a troublemaker and used inappropriate language with his class mates. Because he was happy I just kept a close eye on it. This last parents evening he was described as "a joy to work with". He in in the top groups for reading, writing & maths and just loves school. The teacher admitted that it is now apparent that he is just very bright. His language is often inappropriate for Reception children and goes over their heads, but he has plenty of friends so it can't be that big an issue. For him reception has been fun and has developed him socially - he is a more confident child now. He has consolidated the things he learnt before about how words are made and how clever numbers are.

I'm glad I made the decision I made. It was definately right for my DS.

I think Year 1 will need to be a time for the school to start to look at stimulating him more.

I could have written your post OP. New school, reception year (though DS isn't 5 until mid August) and I wasn't sure whether to mention it. Decided against for the "not wanting to come across as a pushy mother" reasons. He has two teachers (one am, one pm). The am one mentioned, about a month in, that his reading was exceptional and she was moving him up the levels. The pm teacher is a nightmare. She pulled me aside one afternoon and mentioned (very gravely) that she was concerned with his motor skills. Based on the fact that he had "struggled to make a dinosaur out of Play Doh" It descended into her grilling me as to what "craft" play did I do with DS? I explained that I had encouraged him in those areas but he blatently wasn't interested, preferring to read, write, do number work. It ended with her saying "Well, perhaps if you invited him to do more craft work, he would improve" Her tone was awful.

My reckoning is that, after being at school all day, if he wants to read, then I'm happy for him to read I don't think he'll ever be picked for the rugby team but he's happy. And he's only 4!!

Anyway, the headteacher has earmarked him for the SENCO meeting in September and there's the parents evening inbetween then, so I'm happy at the moment.

i think there is a lot in natural ability.

My ds is in reception and he has natural ability in most academics (goes up to the top yr 1 set for phonics and has been set mutiplication homework as that's his personal level) and yet dd who is in Yr 2 doesn't. I really don't think DS is more intelligent than DD, what i do think is he is more naturally able to do these things. She can and will achieve the same results as he does, but has to work much harder at it, whereas with DS it all comes so easy!

Thanks everyone for continuing to post. Lots of food for thought. Couple more questions:

ChilliKate it's brilliant that your son's getting on so well now. I'm interested, though - do you think if you'd talked to the teacher in advance that you would have avoided the initial negative impression about your DS being a troublemaker? Maybe you think there were more downsides to upsides from 'warning' them? I'm genuinely really curious.

Shakey that's awful! I hope I don't get one like that (we also have two reception teachers - one is reportedly lovely, the other hasn't started yet). DS is frankly hopeless at craft (he couldn't make a playdoh dinosaur to save his life), though he has just started to draw things that look a bit like things. I try and try to get him interested at home, but he's just not. They do manage to get him to do craft at pre-school, though. God knows how. (Having said that, his lovely key worker makes me feel inadequate in pretty much every way, so it's no big surprise ). Also, hope you don't mind me asking, but why the SENCO? Is it just because he's bright? I ask because we've wondered off and on for years whether DS might have Asperger Syndrome, though the more I've read about it, the more I think he's probably just shy and bright.

I believe (as this is all new to me) that the SENCO involvement is because children that are classed as ahead/clever/gifted/advanced/bright (pick what you will ) are also classed as having special educational needs.

I also had a look at Aspergers and decided he 99% wasn't. Has your son any odd habits, obsessions or the like? My son has several, some taking precedence above others. One of his many is to memorise the amount of pages in a book, memorise how many tracks on a CD alongside memorising how long each track is Woe betide a CD that says track 4 is 3mins and 40 secs when it turns out to be 3mins and 41secs , he studies the calendar and can tell me what happened on any particular day in 2011, 2010.

I've tried to explain these "oddities" to the teacher but it's quite difficult to explain what he does at home. As far as I'm aware, he doesn't do any of this at school. At least he doesn't let on to the teachers if that makes sense?

I think that many boys are like that, Shakey. Ds has had many obsessions. It started off with superhero powers, has passed through height requirements of about 200 different rides in various theme parks (to which he hasn't even been) and last year I had to suffer being tested on post-war England cricket teams. At the moment he is ingesting much information on box-office takings of Oscar-winning films.

This is why 99% of pub quiz teams are made up of beardy men!

My overriding concern was being seen as a pushy mum. My own mother thinks I'm a pushy mum. But how can you stop a child from asking questions?? Or how can you be a decent parent if you don't try to answer them.

At that first parents evening I ascertained that he was not "naughty" or disruptive, and I knew that DS was very happy so what else matters really??

When (if) DS starts to be disruptive or unhappy at school I know that there was a problem. This time last year DS was being disruptive and was very unhappy at nursery - he was just lacking stimulation.

My parents never mentioned it. Until a teacher called me a liar
I was 5 and took a book out to read at lunch and brought it back at the end. She told me to take it home and read it properly, I tried to explain I had read it but I didn't do very well explaining and she called me a liar
Dad went in to talk to her about my reading and she still wouldn't have it and I actually left that school a week later

Reading caused me no end of trouble at school, and even now people question whether I have read something "properly"
Best thing Mum did for me was let me read at home whatever I wanted to, and I am still a very very avid reader, usually 20 books a week at the moment

brighthair I can relate to that! Apparantly I taught myself to read before going to school. I read very quickly and people also question whether I could have possibly read the book and took it all in

I've decided to get a kindle as my holiday suitcase is usually weighted down with books

I can relate to what you are saying OP. Although in my case I not only spoke to the teacher about DS but also the headmaster (hangs head in shame). Becasue of DS abilities I decided the local state school would not be suitable for him so I looked at private education and did actually speak to the various heads at various schools about what they would do for a child who is way ahead in some aspects.
My son is "different" and I think I have settled on the right school in the end, but I know the headmaster thought (thinks...) I am a weird pushy parent who thinks her son is precious.
However, he is just coming to the end of pre school and the school has suggested he sees and EP to assess his needs before going into reception. Both to assess how far advanced he is and also because I think he is mildly dyspraxic.

Whilst I have been very forthright about his abilities with the schools I have been to look at I have always kept very quiet about it amongst other parents because so many people seem to have a problem with it :(.

And as for the reading, maths etc. Yes we encourage him but it really is all self directed and motivated. We have never coached him (we don't have the time!). And his reading was pretty much self taught, we just correct his pronunciation sometimes.

Sadly it took til year 2 for DS (8) to be recognised as 'able' because he's dyslexic and has had vision problems (and hence 2e) and they couldn't see past his writing difficulties and slow start to reading. It amazes me as he's so obviously bright when you talk to him.

I didn't mention anything as I didn't want to come across as arrogant, but I regret it now. I think teachers with 30 children can miss big things TBH as they are overworked x

Same story here Mrs Baffled but I made the mistake of telling them and was left feeling very humiliated. They couldn't see past the spelling mistakes. Their idea of G&T was limited to a Level 3 at KS2. On the other hand, I risked telling new secondary school and they "got the plot" straight away.

Niceweather how has he done at secondary? What sort of support does he get?

Mrs Baffled, secondary is great! There was a lovely recent thread on the SEN board about all these dyslexic kids that had taken off at secondary and my son is of them. The emphasis has shifted from the 3 R's to the other things that these kids are good at. He now has a laptop for writing - Junior School would never have considered this - "He needs to learn to write!" He does not get a lot of support as he is not too far behind (2E). He sits at the front, he gets tests printed in large fonts, he has a reader if necessary (not necessary in my opinion) and he's had some extra literacy lessons. He is due some spelling intervention as well. It is much tougher for his friend who has severe dyslexia which is a totally different ball game. How is your son getting on?

He's on SA+ so gets 1-1 spelling help in the form of Word Wasp. He reads really well (now), so it's only writing that's a problem, and he can use an Alphasmart sometimes in the classroom. He's getting over his fear of writing slowly and is going up the sublevels :) He's made a lot of progress this year. I worry he's going to lose his support at school as he's compensating very well. However, so long as he's made to write/type answers to questions he will never do as well as if he could answer verbally. His brain is so sharp.