Nursery report not adding up with what we thought. HELP PLEASE!

[MamaTurtle]

Hi!

I am new to this site - I found it when googling and thought you might be able to give me some advice. Apologies if I'm doing something wrong.

My daughter, who is 3years 8months, goes to nursery, and has just received her 'end of year' report which outlines how the children are doing.

It says that she's a pleasure to have in the nursery etc., but also says that she's performing averagely and 'meeting most of the milestones'.

However, her grandparents, and my friends, are always commenting on how bright she is - we're having her (privately) assessed for being Gifted, as we think she seems to show signs of this.

Here are some of the things she can do:

• Count to 10
• Get herself dressed
• Constantly asks questions - 'why are we going to town, Mummy?'/'How does the bus driver know where he's going?'
• Knows the alphabet
• Can make a necklace out of beads
• Knows how to make a sandwich, and can repeat the instructions

So, my question is this: Why do the nursery not register that she is highly able, probably moreso than many of her peers?

Should we be looking at moving her to an Independent nursery where they will recognise, and nurture, her abilities?

Can we start her at school early so that she is sufficiently pushed?

Thankyou, in advance, for your time.

mamaturtle sorry for taking the piss earlier i honestly thought it was a regular having a joke.. (people do this from time to time)

seeing she was prem and has cp you must be extremely proud of how well she is doing

sorry again, i obviously meant cf

I don't get this thread

First I thought it was deluded
Then I thought it was a joke
Then with the CF reveal I felt guilty

So now I just feel bewildered - if you thought your daughter was doing fabulously considering the CF/premmie thing - why didn't you say so at first? There'd have been a chorus of agreement. What was the point of the late reveal?

Thankyou to everyone for all the lovely things you've said - some of them have made me want to cry.

Quattrocento - Because I get fed up of people talking about her within the parameters of her disability. The thing is is that there is a little girl in that malfunctioning body who is not confined or restricted by it and I wanted people to see her for who the child inside was, not the child behind the walking frame and nebuliser.

The other thing I found about nursery and the EYF targets is that, reading them through, I knew that ds was ticking more of the boxes than he had been observed to comply with at nursery - I didn't worry too much about this, and was just pleased that he was happy and enjoying his time there.

Probably you would have found a lot more people saying that your daughter's doing really well, given the struggle she has undoubtedly had if you'd said about the prematurity and cf at the beginning. The fact that your dd is not only in the big bunch of 'average' in the group but has also had to contend with a lot should make you very proud of her. But I wouldn't be trying to push her - just let her enjoy herself!

MamaT - exactly
we were told that dd2 would always depend on AAC as her poor oromotor would mean that she wouldn't be intelligibly verbal. (she was born without a suck or gag reflex and was tube fed initially). sometimes i sit and look at her now and wonder if any of her early years team would believe it was the same child.

sometimes i sit and can't believe she's still here, after the ups and downs along the way.

that said, at the transition meeting for yr 2 last month, i was enormously gratified that for the first time, the main topic of conversation was how they were going to support her as a more able child, rather than a child with a disability. it takes a while, but eventually people do start to see the child instead of the label

love to you and yours x

I hope that this thread has helped to reassure you that your DD has come a long way and that, despite her CF, she is doing really well.

Please don't get her tested as you suggest, as you will only feel disappointed in some way, and overall I think you should only be mega proud of her.

Just be contented that at the moment, she is not behind and is happy, interested, curious, lively and bubbly little girl.

HUGS xxxxxx

I am so sorry I didn't return to this thread sooner - I mean to, but have had very busy couple of days!

I just wanted to say a massive, massive thankyou not only to those who brought me down to earth about my daughter (who, I have learnt, is lovely, but not a genius - in the eyes of the world, anyway ).

Thankyou also to everyone who gave me advice - I am sure that I didn't deserve it, and I feel like a proper fool now for wasting your time with my decidedly average daughter!

Thanks again!

Ahhh , welcome to MN MamaTurtle. I completely misjudged you from your OP. You and your DD both sound lovely. I know what you mean about 'in the eyes of the world' - we're all the same about our DCs

Hi Mama Turtle,
I am not meaning to demeen your daughter or you but I also wouldn't necessarily say the things listed mean gifted.
DD1 at the same age made toast using the oven gloves to remove it from the toaster in order to make us breakfast in bed- devastated we stopped her and did all those things by 3 - not had her tested, it is a waste of money.
DD2 is 2.3yrs and counts to 18 in English, 5 in Spanish due to Dora, dresses and undresses and asks the same questions. She knew colours from 2yo and could do 12 piece puzzles - she is bright but not exceptional.

I felt as you did with my first, but there is more to school than education and children need to learn social skills, sharing, taking turns etc. Concentration (although my dd1 will do this for an hour or more but will start school in september at 4.8yo). I am waiting it out

She has also gone from level 3-6 in trampolining since Dec 09, usually level 6 is age 6/7 yos.