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TAMOXIFEN -the third thread ***

740 replies

MaryAnnSingleton · 26/02/2010 10:40

here we are- will put a link on the old thread.

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KurriKurri · 09/03/2010 21:19

She loves wearing jumpers Cakes - she is such a poser

reallywoundup · 09/03/2010 21:29

bless! dog and hoody looks bloody gorgeous!

I am still a bit bleughhhh, went to sil's today (next story on the list lol!) and as i walked up the pathway she exclaimed "bloody nora you look f***g awful!" Thanks! coughing is less intense but still an issue on the pissing oneself front bloody bladder treatments!

So.......... we went to sil's today, after a phone call to say "might be a good idea to come and see MIL and say your goodbyes" it was also sil's birthday so we made a day of it, took the kids and a cake and then took turns in playing with the kids and visiting mil, didn't take the kids in as when we saw her we realised it would just upset them. she is unrecognisable tbh, very sad. she is fading day by day and has now stopped eating, we all think it is only a matter of time now, docs seem to agree. we also think that she had waited to see the new baby- which she did on Sunday, there has been a dramatic downturn since then. soooo..... i think we are all very sad, but also hoping that the suffering doesn't go on too long, without being heartless the sooner the better because as she is now, it is all the things that she never wanted to be (old lady slumped in a hosp bed, doubly incontinent, bad bed sores, unaware of visitors, having no quality of life!)

We sat down as a 'team' and sorted out details between us so that we all know what is going to happen, dealt with what each of us want from the funeral and who will sort things and liase iyswim, seemed a terrible thing to do as she isn't dead, but at least it is done while we were all able to think straight and with practical heads on.

doom and gloom again from the rwu camp! sorry!

pennies- the port will soon dissapear from your conciousness, i don't notice mine at all any more, just give it some more time and i'm sure it will get much easier very quickly.

sandripples · 09/03/2010 21:40

Really sorry about your MIL RWU - how sad. I do hope this phase isn't too difficult for her, or indeed the family. Sounds as though you've all been very practical. But its tough I should think. I'm glad your coughing is slightly imporved, and trust you have plenty of armour for the pissing problem. (I won't go into a story of my getting incredibly ill very suddenly in Turkey last year in front of a crowd of walkers - or perhaps I've already told you that one lol..)

KK - love that shade of lilac on your dog - one of my favourite colours - indeed I have a head-scarf of this shade ready for when my hair falls out, but your dog looks better than I will

I need to find a new book to keep me amused. Will go and search in the pile I bought recently. Have lacked concentration to start anything this week, and wore brain out helping DS revise his German.

KurriKurri · 09/03/2010 21:41

I'm so sorry RWU - that is so sad for you. How is DH coping? -sympathies to all of you.
It is a little comfort maybe that she got to see the new baby.

I hope you're feeling a bit better soon, have you got chemo this week? Take care - remember to look after yourself, and not to overdo things.

sandripples · 09/03/2010 21:42

PS - I seem to be going rather spotty this week, after my skin being lovely on the steroids last week. Just thought I'd add this grotty detail to the list of our physical complaints. Are you post-chemo spotty Pennies??

KurriKurri · 09/03/2010 21:45

x-post SR - thank you for dog compliments Hope you're not too worn out. Is it a week now since your chemo?

Is your DS GCSE age? (I would have no clue about german - although my dad spoke it fluently)

reallywoundup · 09/03/2010 21:53

yes chemo on Thursday! never rains but it pours in the rwu household!

I feel awful for saying it, but the sooner the better for poor mil, she isn't going to recover, and will never have a satisfactory quality of life DH is very quiet and sombre, he had a cry in the car on the way home (i had my eyes on the road but i think he wanted to let it out where the kids couldn't see iyswim, they were in the back totally unaware!) he has just spoken to a friend who lost his wife around this time last year and i think i heard him quietly sobbing when he hung up i'm sure there'll be lots of tears in the next few days.

anyone fancy some welsh cakes- tis my defence mechanism..... baking! so far we have enough bread to feed the british army, welsh cakes coming out of my ears, a banana and walnut loaf and ginger and cherry cookies for the kids to take to school [yum]

KurriKurri · 09/03/2010 21:58

Poor DH. Baking is good -doing practical things helps in these sort of situations I find - it all sounds delicious. Good luck with this weeks treatment. x

MaryAnnSingleton · 09/03/2010 22:50

I've never had welsh cakes - send some over RWU !
I will send my thoughts to MIL and hope that she slips away without distress or pain- lots of good thoughts to you too.
KK - the hoody and doggie are so cute ! you are clever !!

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reallywoundup · 09/03/2010 23:04

Enjoy!!

must go to bed...................

MaryAnnSingleton · 10/03/2010 08:58

yum !

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Cakesandale · 10/03/2010 09:58

poor MIL, and poor dh, RWU. I also hope she just slips peacefully away and soon, this hanging around bit is awful for everyone. Abd how quickly she has gone downhill! But people can't go until they let go, so maybe now she will, as she has seen the baby.

And treatment going on as well, I have NO idea how you manage to bake, although I can DEFINITELY see how cake might be a comfort. YUM to welsh cakes.

SR - I hope you have got lots of scarves in nice colours for when the hair goes - as one of my (female, obv) clients pointed out, this situation opens up a whole new accessorising opportunity !

Hope you are feeling a bit better about the port Pennies, as RWU says, it is amazing how quickly you can get used to these things. I had elbow implants once, they were in for nearly two years, and although I always hated them and wanted them out, I did adapt to htem very fast.

MAS - how's the birthday card business going?

reallywoundup · 10/03/2010 11:04

they are now talking hours for MIL dh has just left to be by her side, he had been adament last night that he didn't want to sit with her whilst she died because he'd rather think of happier memories, but once sil rang in floods of tears he couldn't get in the car quick enough. I think she will wait for DH, SIL, and older DGC's to be there, then she'll let go iyswim.

I am staying here for as long as poss, hopefully i will be able to get the kids home from school, fed and sorted for bed, then i'll go over too, if its already happened i shall just be there to make the tea! i am very thankful that i have a neighbour who is like a mum to me, she is great and is quite happy to just take over and get everything sorted at home for me!

so if i dissapear............ but i shall return at some point!

MaryAnnSingleton · 10/03/2010 11:36

oh RWU - take care and will be thinking of you all.

Cakes - am very busy drawing cards - my head is spinning with it -it's great but makes me nervous

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Pennies · 10/03/2010 12:00

RWU - sorry to hear that all this is happening. Thinking of you so much.

sandripples · 10/03/2010 12:15

Also thinking of you RWU, and hoping today is as peaceful for your MIL and family as possible. Sad for your husband.

Yes, my DS is doing GCSEs - he's 16. He has strong preference for sciences which is great but quite funny as the rest of us are linguists! He says he hates German, but seems OK with me offering to help him over the next 3 months. Wish I knew how to support him better with science and what he could do after school with scrineces though.

Yes I do have some nice head-gear - mix of little cloche styloe hats and scarves. Plan to wear nice big ear-rings with them! Its 8 days since chemo so am feeling better though a bit grotty when I first get up.

I also like baking, and inspired by RWU think I'll do some today. Cooking is very therpeutic. Made a nice butternut squash curry last night (mild!) Have spent morning catching up with admin negelcted for last 6 weeks.

Cakesandale · 10/03/2010 12:32

Oh RWU

Thinking of you all

reallywoundup · 10/03/2010 12:51

i am going to prepare food to take over to feed the masses! stuffed peppers, chilli and wedges, some form of casserole etc etc, there's about 15 people all gathered at SIL's so far and i'm guessing none of them are in the frame of mood to start cooking. Will keep me entertained for the afternoon, and at least then i will know that they have all eaten incase we are in for a long haul cooking is my de-stress method- i agree it is very theraputic.

KurriKurri · 10/03/2010 13:36

So sorry RWU, what a difficult time for you all - thinking of you.xx

MaryAnnSingleton · 10/03/2010 16:28

someone has posted something on the Check Your Breasts thread about an infra red light - because their nickname is beaware I'm slightly worried that this might be another person with odd ideas- of course it might be completely ok and kosher but that loon before has made me wary...if you've a mo,would someone take a look ?

The food sounds lovely RWU - everyone will be glad of it.

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reallywoundup · 10/03/2010 17:58

i've had a look MAS, i'm a bit but maybe i'm also over-cautious after the teatotal debacle. had a check into posting history and it all rings too many bells- the only past posts are medical related and are scaremongering iyswim- vCJD related and not many of them, one to keep an eye on i think!

No news from DH, does that make it good news?? i'm getting the kids all sorted, when they go to bed i will ring and see what to do for the best, but i am guessing he might need a hug!

MaryAnnSingleton · 10/03/2010 18:08

oh poor RWU dh- poor everyone.
Thanks for looking at the other thread..will keep an eye out.

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Cakesandale · 10/03/2010 18:16

Oh yeah, beaware is a troll for sure.

I'll watch her with interest....

Thinking of all your family for tonight RWU.

I am off to yoga to see if I can tease out the muscles in my neck - it is still playing up but not as much as before, i think exercise is helping....

haggisdoodle · 11/03/2010 07:10

RWU - just logged on after a week away - so sorry to hear about your mil and the difficult time you are all having just now. Sending you all best wishes.

How is your port Pennies? Reading about the fitting made me so angry (on your behalf iyswim). It's the small senseless things like lack of communication that make things harder than they need to be. Hope you are feeling more comfortable now. RWU and SR too - hope chemo is progressing OK.

Have had a week of horrible headaches hence no computer but they are just about going now in time for my last chemo tomorrow . I'm a bit cheesed off though as I don't seem to get any "well" time at all between treatments just now. Don't want to go into details bevause not pleasant for those just starting chemo but I think I have had every SE in the blinking book along with infections and neutropenia. Had dodgy immune system and recurring ME before this started so docs think this could perhaps be the reason. Sorry for moan - I'm sure previous healt problems may be contributing to rough time with chemo - certainly don't want to worry anyone starting chemo but just needed to get that off my chest.

haggisdoodle · 11/03/2010 07:12

Actually, I shouldn't have posted that - I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Don't know how to recall though so apologies ladies.

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